ITT your useless abilities

ITT your useless abilities

Attached: sem titulo.png (1044x532, 28K)

unless i'm mistaken i basically have nothing going for me.

I can make fart sounds by squashing my hands together

when i push my fingers down hard on my palm, it makes a horrible cracking sound

its only good for repelling people

I almost always win at rock paper scissors.

I can give myself a bloody nose during summer or winter

both my thumbs are double-double jointed, i can pop them out of the joint socket while also bending them at 90 degree angle at the knuckle joint. wish i knew how to make a webm so i could show you guys the lovecraftian horrors i can create with my thumb movements.

I can become emotionally dependent and push people away at the same time

Pleb I can do that year round

Attached: BF1BA511-E86B-46D9-8FE2-A000E6E02726.jpg (447x686, 79K)

I can crack a bone in my ear at will, move my scalp at will, click my tendons in my fingers at will, move my ears in back and forth and up and downward directions at will and independently, I can whistle with my tongue out of my mouth like a walrus well enough to whistle odd to joy or marry had a little lamb, I can shove large objects into my anus over time, I can deepthroat penis sized ten inch dildos, I can imitate the ayy lmfao noises from signs fairly well, I can crack my wrists as one would their knuckles, and that's pretty much it. Expect one last really weird one that you would not understand.

Attached: 1467108728221.png (269x287, 102K)

>crack ears at will
i've never understood that one. i've only met one person who can do it.
i can crack either of my shoulders at will. i use it to pretend i'm cracking my nose. this works 100% of the time. it always makes people run away or gag for some reason. it's fucking hilarious.

Attached: 1511492562746.gif (500x658, 815K)

I can get every answer right on any IQ test

Being able to wait patiently for many hours strait with nothing to occupy myself with but my thoughts.

except*
Not expect.

It's some bone inside the ear. If you plug your ear to mine you can hear it, but most won't do this with you.

And some think it's the jaw flexing, but isn't. It's a muscle in my ear near the jaw, but I'm not flexing the jaw at all. It's independent of that. Also, I can vibrate the muscles in my ear the same way yours do when you yawn, and it often makes me yawn. That way I don't have to hear people and it sounds like a waterfall. I'm afraid I'll damage my hearing though so I don't do that one anymore.

Attached: 1510430452674.jpg (470x471, 42K)

How? I just rub my nose until I get it bloody, and I tried doing that a little bit ago to see if it would work, but it wasn't working after 15 seconds so I gave up.

I can pull the shit going out of my ass back in a few lovely occasions I have used this afto-mentioned ability as a dildo ps I'm a dude

Attached: Screenshot_20181029-232112.png (1080x2160, 737K)

Asperger's 140 iq
Wizard level 22
Stats
Manna :100687
XP: 10000000000000
Damage level :weaponized autism
Special spell:cast a fury storm of pee poo and pepe that last as many shit jugs and piss balloons I have on hand
Is ultimate warlock that is not to be disturbed

Attached: 1433743734447.jpg (409x367, 11K)

Are these mother fuckers gonna get on my level

We are evolutionary failures.

I can deep throat an eight inch banana with ease.
I'm not gay nor a girl.

Quickly and efficiently identify and remove duplicate porn files manually

Try me bitch
>ostriches

Attached: image.jpg (800x1131, 443K)

I can slap my hands together in a really weird way really fast and I have never met anybody who can match me in this skill. Also sun you mong

Inner monologue

Can snap, whistle, crack a lot of parts of my body, and i also have a lot of extra skin around my eyes that i can stretch out to a decent extent if i want to.

Attached: 1540613809347.jpg (638x714, 132K)

post it as mp4 man, I wanna see it

I have a big dick and I'm a kissless virgin

I can juggle three eggs with one hand while jerking off
maybe some day I'll be able to do it but with knives

This is kinda useful but I can stop pissing mid stream, took years of practice

If something wakes me up while I'm having a nice dream, I can go back to sleep and resume where I left. I'm not quite sure how I do this.

I can do that too man, since I was a kid
I thought everybody could do it

I can easily remember the heights and weights of everyone I meet granted they tell me it, or mention it and I see it.

Attached: anime girl band.jpg (2000x2020, 226K)

I can breathe like the velociraptors from Jurassic park, I can open doors, draw, and type with my feet, and I can understand anything on a conceptual level despite being unable to do most high level education.

I can put both feet behind my neck and I can take my hands holding each other from touching my belly to touching my ass in an overhead arc without letting go.

Attached: zLMyidm.jpg (1000x712, 67K)

I can
-wait for it
Suck my own dick

I can almost kill myself laughing from talking about puking at my brother's place of work while he's on duty.

I think I just started laughing at how fucking absurd it is that I was laughing in the first place half way through.

I can actually bend my left index finger backwards till it touches my wrist

i can remember a bunch of stupid fucking phone numbers because i dont save them

I can throw kitchen knives without a spin on them and have them stick up to 10 meters.

I can move my ears at will and whistle any music I remember.

I can move my thumbs over my knuckles

Ear clicking user again, vomiting is orgasmic. It's no laughing matter. It's fun. Saves lives too.