Alright RoboAnons, what is the best way to kill someone and not get caught. Be creative. Heres mine:
>late night
>get into victims home
>take some thin strong wire
>tape it in front of doorway to kitchen
>take out .357 revolver and fire
>victim rushes down, runs into wire
>neckcut.png
>they thrive on ground
>run
Depends, do I know them or can it be a random person?
Either is fine, im only looking for the kill
>buy lamb shank
>freeze
>bludgeon to death with frozen lamb shank
>when police come to investigate, feed them the lamb
>put dead animal in basement
>soak that shit in ammonia along with area where i put it
>seal all exits
>When they try to clean it with bleach they'll get gassed to death
I tried.
ah man... who wrote that story- remember reading it ages ago
Roald Dahl, I remember our teacher reading us that when I was about 14.
if shes my wife show her my next monthly bills
>put bomb in a goats ass
>mail it to arabia/iran/iraq
or for better results paint the goats face up
Leave, underage zoomer faggot poltard.
Your teacher was in the wrong, though.
Yeah, sounds about right for a 15-year-old trumpist /b/ fuckstick.
Introduce them to Jow Forums
They will lose all motivation, and eventually spiral into a depression from which they will never escape.
What did he say? Got b&
I didnt mean to post that on this thread
i deleted it becuase i felt like a retard
basically libtard teach and i keep making him mad so he will break one day
>tie noose from bar
>position chair below noose
>wear noose as neck armor, chair as foot armor
>kick chair
Can't catch a dead man, user
Ooh, dirty bird! If that would work, that's clever
>buy gun, police baseball hat, reflective jacket, 8 orange pylons
>find small rarely used country road a good distance from where you live, no houses nearby
>park car sideways perpendicular to the road, block rest with orange pylons
>wait until car approaches, give them the "stop" motion with one hand
If you see a second car, even in the distance, pack up and try again about 20 miles over.
>approach them, keep hand on gun, kill as soon as window is lowered, head shot(s)
>take any visible dashcams/phones and remove any batteries
>take pylons, drive away
You could probably get away with this every 2 months without raising too much suspicion.
Trying to find a flaw here, can't. Spooky.
what could possibly go wrong? why wouldnt you just shoot him
you would need a police car otherwise you're just a stranger with a gun. And they could drive into your car or you could miss.
That's true. Would look very suspicious.
>go ice fishing with target (make sure ice is thick)
>leave more and more water near their feet when they aren't looking
>when they get up, slip and fall into hole
>current drags them further under the ice
>call emergency services to seem like you care
>if they manage to get him, he'll think it was an accident and won't turn you in. If not, you just got away with murder
THIS POST RIGHT HERE OFFICER YES YES
>befriend loner
>spend days hanging out, playing vidya, etc.
>help improve his life
>help him make new friends
>help him find a girl of his dreams
>years pass by
>be his one true best friend through thick and thin
Now rip it all from him
>get him fired from his job
>make his friends hate him
>turn his own family against him
>invite him over when he's near rock bottom
>as he walks into your place
>he finds you fucking his gf of several years.
>watch as he spirals into depression and insanity
>watch as he kills himself
>burn any last wills or letters that could lead to you being a cause
>fake cry at his funeral and be remembered as a saint to the man hated by all
ggez
you are a legit monster
have an original "fuck you", you scumbag
Interesting picture, I could see myself doing that. Is that one of those things Americans get pissed off over, like wasting chocolate milk?
>thrive on ground
imagine sucking so bad at killing you make someone prosper from your attempt on your life
>put on mask and glove.
>shave off serial number on illegally bought gun (if it hasn't been already shaven off)
>shoot guy in alleyway at night
>field disassemble firearm.
>take out main components and drop in dumpster
The goal isn't to make it look like the crime never happen its to make it untraceable to you.
>Organic Mercury
>only one person died from it
>she was a scientist who was testing it and to drops fell on her glove
>six months later see became a vegetable
>no matter what test they did they could find a definitive cause
>mice who were given organic mercury also became vegetables
>the method to make organic mercury is a closely kept secret
Isn't Mercury an element?
>get into victims home
Do you force your way in? If so, you'll likely leave evidence of your intrusion. Even in non forceful entry, you'd probably be pinned to the scene without an alibi. Also you'll attract witnesses after firing your gun
One doesn't simply aqcuire a dead animal. You'll be linked to the purchase of the amonia and the animal
>Cuts you down
Fucked the moment another law enforcement crosses you
Great if killing a blind, deaf, cripple
>he finds you fucking his gf of several years.
>watch as he spirals into depression and insanity
>watch as he kills you
Fixed that for you
>Cops find body
>Search area
>Finds mask and gloves with gun powder residue and your DNA
To be fair, you might get aware assuming this is a random hit
Good luck secretly exposing someone to organic Mercury while remaining safe yourself