>be me
>be 20yo
>be type of person who makes stupid meme jokes and tries to make people laugh
>go to lunch with a bunch of acquaintances (most of them aren't really my friends)
>all of us sitting together, I'm next to my close friend
>Friend and I are very sarcastic with each other and make fun of each other jokingly a lot.
>nobody else gets that sense of cold unsympathetic humor
>everyone talking
>friend brings up his girlfriend and how shes been distant with him
>instinctively make snarky comment
>"You told her you were gay didn't you?"
>most ppl start laughing aside from a few sensitive ones who I don't care about anyways
>make eye contact with QT3.14159 whos giggling over my comment.
>my friend is not laughing
>keeps going on about how he flunked out of his class and is going to have to change major
>heres my chance again. "Gender studies has a pretty good market these days, you'll probably fit right in."
>Laughter all over again, I am soaking it in. Look back at my QT 3.14159 whos shaking her head at me laughing uncontrollably
>friend is a little annoyed so I give it a rest.
>cont.
Be me
You sound like me and everyone hates me because I can never be serious about anything and instead search for a joke even if in bad taste. Then I play it off by pretending I dont care about other people think of me and justify my comments by them being funny.
Pt 2.
>We all go to this Halloween party
>spent unhealthy time preparing a consume to not look dumb, as I do with all social interaction.
>dressed up as a sperm with a Tshirt that says swimming nationals 1997. Hoping it will get me some attention
>friend shows up dressed in generic skin suit costume
>everyone is here I decide to crack another stupid joke toward my friend
>"Didn't know they made condoms to cover your whole body, what does your girl friend have Ebola or something?"
>people are dying, I can't help but grin at my own joke and soak in the attention I am finally getting.
>friend says whatever and goes inside to get some booze, his gf didn't show.
>QT 3.14159 comes over to me "what are you supposed to be"
>"read the shirt"
>She doesn't get it
>"im the fastest sperm"
>She laughs and asks if I want to grab a drink
>We both drink a decent amount but not too much
>Don't see my friend for most of the part, instead I am grinding with my first ever girl. So awkward, but hope that she will assume I just drank more than I did
>she yawns, and looks up at me
>Hey user want to go back to my room
>Of course I say yes and stutter, but she doesn't seem to notice
>at her room she starts making out with me
> I pull her pants down and she opens mine
>take off her shirt and bra and my shirt and fuck her on the bed
>I last a long time because of the alcohol
> I accidentally cum in her
>wtf user as she pushes me away from her
>she just lays there
>next think I know Im waking up and shes next to me still
>try to get out of bed without waking her to get my things
>she wakes up and sees me
>cont.
Roastie mctoastie should always be on the pill if she wants to have sex
pt3.
>Instantly looks disgusted and pulls blanket over her
>shes even sexier with the sunlight coming in
>start to pop a chub as I put my underwear back on
>shes still just staring at me with a disgusted look
>g-goodbye
>realize I can't even remember her name
>she says nothing
>shut the door and text my friend
>going to tell him the good news
>he wont reply
>see him on campus on my way back to my room
>Hey!
>Hey user I really don't want to talk to you
Now I'm pretty sure everyone thinks I raped the QT 3.14195 and my friend doesn't talk to me, and all the other acquaintances just get quiet and awkward when I am around like they're waiting for me to leave.
Why am I such a pussy, why can't I just kill myself.
not your fault to be honest. she was into you and wanted to cuck her bf. just move on
LMAO die you failednormie
Man you really are me. Do you construct elaborate webs of lies as well whenever you enter a new group to hide all of your past unsavory events?
yes... I pretty much pride myself in my ability to lie and I then brag about how I trick people and they think I'm weird for lying about the dumbest things
What's typical about this story is that she still fucked you even though you were acting like a dick. Just goes to show how roasties think.
why would you tell people that you trick them, peak autism.
at least im not a virgin now.
thats will amke it easier to get new friends
Its just ive heard you gain confidence by having sex, but the way this cute girl just stared me down like I was below her was just embarassing
I can't help but think that maybe she really only did fuck me cause she had been drinking
nice webm from yesterdays Jow Forums thread.
I tell them because Its a joke.
Like I will say that I tried a certain drug, but just to get their reaction, but I don't really mean it
She didn't have a bf, she just thought I was more masculine, but I fagged out at the end and let her look down on me.
Probably if I had woken up and stroked her and tried to fuck her again she would have seen me as more masculine and let me, but instead I tried to sneak out and didn't have courage to say anything
You suck at telling jokes, just bribe them, like 5 gp will get you alot more disposition.
you are a virgin for sure
honestly I stopped telling jokes and when I see the QT she did actually smile at me, but I doubt I will get laid again, let alone be lucky enough to pull it off with the same girl twice.
I can't help but wonder if she wasn't actually mad and I was overthinking it, but the look on her face was disgust. idk
Sounds like a win to me. You should be celebrating you fucked a bitch, no condom, who cares?
Can you plz post a pic of her?
yeah, but if she really doesn't like me then it was for nothing. I lost a friend, and a potential real relationship just over one nut.
It felt better than jerking off just because it is warm, but other than that I could have just rubbed one out. And now I realize that sex is overrated
at least when it compares to losing friends or having a real relationship like normal people
Sounds like she did like you. Probably cumming inside her crossed the line though...
the QT 3.14159?
I can post a similar picture, but I would rather not be traced back to my uni or something. And also I don't want somebody to message her obviously.
She's actually really hot too, and sort of out of my league, not because I am, short or out of shape, I' m actually 6'4 and I workout regularly, but I have a nerdy looking face and a big nose.
Dude your 6'4, fucked a bitch no rubber and have the nerve to come to MY FUCKING BOARD and bitch about it? Some of us will never fucking even hold hands with a girl, dont leave our rooms, and are disfigured in one way or another. Sorry bro I can't sympathize with you anymore.
Just found this in another thread, pretty much identical. She looks like the perfect girl, but im not sure if her personality is what I want.
Kinda why I'm not ruling out last weekend as a success because at least the one girl I kissed, grinded with, and fucked was def a QT.
I worry that some other guy will take her cause I know she doesn't have boyfriend, my friend knows her. And he said she hasn;t said anyything about that night
If you saw my face you'd understand.
I've literally gotten fucked before even having a girlfriend, and I never got kissed before that night too.
Anyways, some of you won't get girl friends, sure, or even touch a girl, but at least you can look in the mirror and see a fat guy or a skinny dude whos shy
not a pear shaped head like me.