Why don't you just fuck a dolphin?

you can get dolphin AIDS

are they tight?

No way Jose. I saw some guys moving a dolphin and they needed like 8 full grown men to restrain and carry it.

Dude their dolphin pussy is like a hand, it can grab right onto your dick.

I heard they're real high maintenance.

Because I'm not childish and I know dolphins should have sex with their own species

>tfw no dolphin fwb to chum and swum

Dolphins have vaginas? How TF did this happen? They are fish

Dolphin penis is prehensile and cums with incredible force, enough to pierce straight through your anal lining, so if you find yourself with a male dolphin, don't try to get it to fuck you.

I dunno, I just think that it'd be extremely painful...

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They are Mammals

my moment has come

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killer whales are better originalio

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looks juicy

Dude, its 2018, loosen up and fuck a dolphin.

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Don't worry, you seem like a big guy

1. That's not a killer whale
2. Killer whales are dolphins retard

>a substance that allows you to continually ejaculate
Ok that's it, I have to lose my virginity to a dolphin somehow

Be warned - their vaginas are so tight they can literally rip your penis off.

Just wear a condom and you're good.

I wish I was a moderator because of these exact moments

Fucking end your life

I'll worry about that by the time I get to a dolphin

Damn this is just as effective as loli threads to filter out normies

Just be a janny, they love your type

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Anyone remember the story about a female zoologist that let a male dolphin rape her, she ended up falling in love with him, and she ended up his concubine for the rest of her life, where she would visit him daily and have sex with him?

Pretty crazy how a dolphin can rape a white woman into love but incels can't even get a woman to speak to him.

Ecco the dolphin? I'm like 90% sure that's what you mean.

Reminder that dolphins are one of the most intelligent animals in the world and are capable of falling in love. There was a female dolphin that was getting fucked by her male handler everyday and when the handler got fired for having sex with the animals, the dolphin drowned herself rather than going on separated from the guy
>tfw no dolphin gf

>rape a dolphin

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Some guy wrotw a book about his experiences

Same reason I don't fuck my gf.
>I don't have one.

Dolphins play games and talk to each other. They will have huge pods trail a boat because they think it looks weird. We are to dolphins what ayyliums would be to us, and they're purer and cooler than humans. God designated 1 good animal on land and 1 on sea. Elephants and dolphins.

[citation needed]

post source anonymous

nypost.com/2014/06/10/the-dolphin-that-fell-in-love-with-a-human/
That's a similar story just with reversed genders, although the one I'm thinking the guy told a story of the relationship (like how long it went on and such) and talked about how he would cuddle with his dolphin gf and such.

>Elephants
Not hoomans

now i know about the wonders a dolphin pussy but dolphins are kind of ugly, id rather fuck a killer whale

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I think I still have a shit ton of dolphin porn on my old computer because of that /v/ meme

Humana aren't good animals

Aurelle?

Yes. Humans suck. I would add dogs to the list but pets are homo.

...so buy a dolphin
problem solved

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Can you buy young dolphins? Like whatever the preteen equivalent is for dolphins

Fuck no. They're super expensive to keep and hard to breed, don't even know if it's been done.

>chum and swum
underrated

isn't bestiality legal in canada?
just invest in a dolphin and pimp it out

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Dolphins aren't whores, they're pure waifus. Don't be fucking weird about things and treat her like an object.

they're animals and only deserve to be fucked like one

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This is a pretty solid business idea desu. You could even build custom tanks where the dolphin can be fucked and stay wet but they can't drown the customer (which is a real problem)

Just invent a dolphin fleshlight like a horse dildo and synthesize the compound. Being cruel to an intelligent animal is bad.

Blacks already prostitute themselves and it's not that much further to include dolphins

I said intelligent user

The hormonal substance is more a risk than a reward, it's like induced priapism. Sure you can cum for like ten whole minutes straight, but after several minutes it kills the nerves in dick and can fuck up your reproductive system from the forced contractions, and if you go for longer than that it can cause necrosis in the tissues from the blood vessels.

It's made for dolphin dong, not human, even though biologically we're similar enough for it to work on human. Is it worth losing your dick for one half-hour long orgasm?

this thread is pure normie filter, i vote for more bestiality and loli threads to keep nerddit away

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cum thrice, game over, do it again next day

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This. Dolphins are really smart. If you want to romance a female dolphin you're going to have to at least take it out to a restaurant or movie or something.

If you've never done it before though, how do you know you won't fuck it up. If it's dead or alive with your dick, do you really want to be playing guessing games? Also what if you get addicted and try to go for longer and longer?

>Just rape a 300lb muscular aquatic animal with shit loads of razor sharp teeth lmao
Not that easy. Unless you drug it first

Not just that they're very slippery as well.

>Hoomans
Reminder that hoomans are literal demons that grew so strong god couldn't restrain them

why not ?!? originalioilanigiro

>But what if the dolphin consents...

Gudn' Abend du Ehrenhaider

i thought dolphins had super vaginas which would rip your penis off or someshit

it has barbs to hold the penis in as it ejaculates at a force of 80,000 psi, a male could easily enough decapitate you by just nutting

Humans are great, but not good.

>Female dolphins who have recently given birth are not interested in mating, since they are spending their time and energy taking care of their new baby. Male dolphins know this and have been known to kill baby dolphins so that the mother is more interested in mating with them.

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Most animals do this, not just dolphins.

They also play baby shark/seal volleyball with month old babies.

they are a fuck up monster of the sea

Gonna need the sources on that one boss

Animals killing young that aren't their own is very common. Google it.

Well you learn something new everyday, huh. Id say most mammals rather than just animals in general though.

Aye, nature sucks.

This is the sort of person who applies to be a Janny, everyone

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I'm noticing more and more StarCraft 2 get posted to Jow Forums by the day, wayyy more than usual

I really hope it isn't because of that foreigner prick

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Grosse Wassertiere

>loli threads
>effective
Best way to scare off normies is to go full /d/, loli is starting to become reddit tier now.

Has someone actually fucked a dolphin before

Nah man. Every loli thread has normies seething about how all pedo's should be killed in various ways. It's pretty funny to read until the inevitable thread deletion by a mod.

>I'm noticing more and more StarCraft 2 get posted to Jow Forums by the day, wayyy more than usual
since /sc2/ is dead, i have nowhere else to post them.

>I really hope it isn't because of that foreigner prick
"that foreigner prick" is our new bonjwa

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If you play zerg or toss then fuck you

if you play terran, then you're a damned traitor but you're still my brother

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how about if i don't play at all?

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Well that's acceptable too because upon achieving masters 3 and then witnessing all of my korean heroes fold like a cheap tent I also decided to quit

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honestly user, i never really played; only with bots when the game went f2p (which is well after sc2 died)
i got my pc in 2014 and by that i time i've never heard of sc. the only reason i posted on the sc2 general was because it had very little to do with sc2.

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I do that regularly. It's very nice.

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>only humans rape and kill, get high
Dolphins do all of that. They rape. They kill their own. They bully puffer fish to get high even.

Humans are the only creatures with the social construct of ethics, laws, religions. We are the cucks.

>this thread still up when others less bad are taken down

t. le angry marine biologist
yare yare

jared schindler

indeed
oeriginal

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This thread is some weird cancer but I still saved that dolphin gash

what are you going to do with it, user?

>cmon user just rape the creature that is fully capable of killing sharks and requires 8 people to restrain it on land
Have fun with that pal

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Do not do this. Dolphins can contract their vagina muscles to literally crush your penis into a pulp.