Low place

Hey guys,
I've been on here for years, and I know better than to make a blog post – but I am in a world of pain right now. I am posting here instead of some containment board because you anonymous fucks are the closest I’ve ever had to a male friend.

I was raped when I was five years old. My fifteen year old cousin had me suck his dick. I had no idea what was happening. It wasn’t until I was in middle school that I figured out what had been done to me. I lived in denial for a long time, pretending I was some tough fuck that wasn’t affected like mere mortals. But it did affect me.

I never trusted men afterwards. Just my father, and grandfather… maybe my uncle… I never formed bonds. I was a Varsity team by sophomore year, strong/tall/fast, but I never got close to the guys. I always thought women were better. Men were destructive and predatory. Women were the opposite.

1/6

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I became attracted to women that were older, maternal, intelligent, kind, and not particularly pretty / popular because I was introverted, and probably afraid of being abandoned. I landed the 5/10 valedictorian of my highschool, one year older than me. For the next 16 years she never weighed less than me. But I trusted her, and I believed she’d never leave me, and that was exactly what I needed. She also had an amazing rack.

We married at 20 in the middle of college. Neither of us had ever been with anyone else. We played house, but she began to emotionally cheat on me. It happened often, with texts, and computer whispers. Eventually it escalated to video-chat dildo sessions. I walked in on one. I did not have the courage to leave her. I loved her so much. So I rationalized it, and decided to work on the relationship.

2/6

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A year or so later we decided that our relationship was great. We had what we needed now. We wanted to have a baby. Guys… my baby was perfect. I have the perfect little girl. She is five now. She was potty trained in an hour, never had a problem with naps, slept through the night, says “Yes Sir, Yes Ma’am” to everyone, never has temper tantrums… she is in preschool – and I have already taught her to read and count to 100 (also count by 10’s and 5’s). She is filled with love. She says things you would not believe… For example, when I dropped her off at school, “Daddy I love you so much. I know you have to go to work, but I’m going to keep you in my heart.”

She works out with her daddy. I bought her a rogue squat cage and barbel just for her. We watch Disney movies and pump iron. She thinks I’m stronger than Gaston and the Beast put together.

3/6

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When our little girl was only one year old, my wife started cheating on me. It went beyond emotional this time. She met up with a man and he sucked her perfect tits. She lied about it when I caught her. I was so scared of losing my family, I convinced her to try marriage counseling. We did it for a couple of months… then I caught her meeting with him again. We continued marriage counseling for a few more months, then we separated for a month so she could decide what she wanted. She decided to give us another shot.
After my daughter and I came back home (from visiting family for a month), things were great. I was embarrassed that my family knew about my problems, but I took it as a victory nonetheless. The marriage counselor wanted me to talk about the pain in my heart… but I thought it would just make her cheat again sooner. I wanted an intact family.

4/6

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So this weekend I found out that my wife did more than let that man suck her tit. After I caught her on that, and after she saw how much it broke my heart… she went to his house and they had marathon sex. She let him cum inside her. They did everything. How did I find this out more than year later? She transcribed about 300 text messages into a journal and kept them. Keepsakes. She said she forgot about them.

She never disclosed the full nature of her affair. Now I feel like I’ve been raped all over again. She had sex with him, then came home to me. She kissed me. We had sex. I feel like I have eaten his cum. The feeling in my heart… I cannot describe. I am a big man (for you), but I feel so weak right now. So broken. I had worked so hard to rebuild trust with her. Trust was hard for me. I wanted my family to work so bad.
5/6

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she doesn't deserve you king move on you're better off without her, your child is your priority now

If I do not stay with my wife, some other man will get to come over and play daddy with her. I cannot allow this. I cannot live with this. I cannot kill myself, or my wife, for the same reason. Some other man would raise my daughter. She is so innocent and pure. She deserves a good life. She deserves a happy home.

I will probably decide to stay and keep working on it. Why do I think this? Well it’s not how I feel right now, but if I am objective – it is the only thing I’ve ever done.

So why am I posting this? I don’t want you to be like me. user, if she cheats – leave her. Never believe that cheating woman will move on. She did not care about you when she cheated. Love is not something that you just turn on and off. Don’t be like me. It is too late for me. It is not too late for you. Have self-respect. If you don’t have it, get some help. Sort your life out. Don’t be like me user.

6/6

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7/6

I love you guys. I love just knowing that there are guys like me out there. Often lonely, even if we aren't. Strong. Yet men that have 1/4 our strength seem to have twice our confidence.

For every guy that looks in the mirror and says, "If I look good enough, she will see me..."
user... I know its about more than looks. I get it. What you really mean is, if you are carved out of stone - a woman will see the character it took to make that out of yourself. She will see that you have what it takes to get through the hard times, because that's what being Jow Forums is all about.

Look at my legs baby. I hated every second of it. Look at them again... I made it. I can hold myself to the fire and burn away the weakness. I can protect. I can love. I can build a shelter. I have heart enough to endure.

Well lads, I'm here. I am alive. I'll be alive tomorrow. I will never stop pushing. It's all I know how to do. Maybe someday that will be valued. Maybe someday someone will see me.

Leave her and get custody of your daughter. Simple.

I know the feeling of that dark hole. I haven't climbed out yet either. Someday.

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the feels...good luck op
leave the whore and raise your daughter

I'm sorry OP
I truly am, this makes my blood boil because I can empathize to a degree.
The point is I'm glad you realize your best option is to leave the depraved whore.
Your daughter will be hurt and confused but as far as I can tell you already raised a warrior and she will turn out wonderful.
Now take this anguish and burn it as fuel to better both your life and your daughter's life, don't let it drag you down into the abyss.
Best of luck with everything OP, you know we're here when you need us.
Godspeed

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user, I really want you to take another look at what you wrote here:
Do you understand how fucking precious this is?

I know you probably think that you're doing your daughter a favor by keeping the family intact. But your kid deserves better, user. She obviously thinks the world of you and loves you. Eventually, she's going to see that you're not happy, and that's going to affect her immensely. She'll begin to see yours as a broken home, rather than an intact one.
You owe it to yourself - and by extension, her - to do better. You have to get your little girl away from your wife. You obviously have evidence to support your claims, so you should go an talk to your lawyer about how you can make sure you get uncontested custody of your daughter.
And she may very well be confused and angry about it at first, but she will eventually understand and forgive you when she sees you happy again. And while you wait for that understanding, you should carry on with her as you always have: Loving her, spending time with her, working out and watching Disney cartoons. Let her know that nothing's changed in your love for her.

You deserve better, user. And so does your kid.
I have faith in you.

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my heart goes out to you man. thank you for sharing your story. I wish I were wise enough to offer advice. Stay strong.

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Divorce your wife. Use the evidence of the affair in court to get full custody of the daughter. Things are going to get uglier before things get better no matter which road you take so take the one where you are the main one raising your daughter.

Love you user.

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Unfortunately, divorces don't work like this. Affairs aren't even taken into consideration as they're so common. For custody, all that would matter is whether a safe, stable environment can be provided for the child.

My parents went through an ugly divorce. My dad cheated on my mother constantly. Her lawyer showed that there were a couple times where us kids were neglected so he could meet with women and that was enough for the courts to decide in her favor.

>waaah my wife left me
fuck you faggot at least you got married

dude. courts ALWAYS rule in favour of the woman. if you have a penis in divorce court you are going to lose 90% of the time

go back to r/incel asshole

So you agree that the factor considered was that the children were neglected, not the affairs themselves.

>get custody of your daughter
>simple
In what century do you live?

Yes. And that there is 98% chance that you can find instances of neglect because the parent is busy courting a lover.

And I wasn't the user that said it was going to be simple. Either road he chooses will be ugly. I would suggest the one that hopefully ends up with him having custody of his daughter.

women have no incentive to behave well in a divorce. he needs to book a couple of hours with a divorce lawyer to assess his options. try to work the system as much as he can to get the best case scenario.

user,

I'm proud of you.

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younger fag here.
i couldn't hope to understand the weight of the situation, nor do i believe that i have anything new to bring to the table in terms of what's been said thus far.
but i want you to know that i will cherish the memory and knowledge i have gained from this thread and keep it as close to my heart as i can. you have been my biggest inspiration all year, and as much as i believe that i don't deserve the girlfriend that i have, i will always remember to follow your example and treat her as best as i can, and hope that if i ever have children, that i could raise them as best as you have. thank you for posting this, and i both wish the absolute best for you, and thank you for reaching out to us Jow Forums fags. god speed.

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Love you bro, this whore should be put in her place. I don't think keeping such a broken relationship with her will do any good to your daughter, this is unacceptable. I wish everything best to you, and even if you spend less time with your daughter, over course of years she will realize that you're the positive influence in her life.

I can't begin to comprehend or imagine the pain and stress you've been through.

I don't really know what to say or how to help - just know if you're reading this message I wish you all the best. Fight through this brother.

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>for you
Come fight me, lil bitch. I wasn’t having it already, but this basically seals it. I bet you dare not even look at me in my eyes, cuckboy.

The fuck is up with these autistic images? The fact that you own these and probably have a shitty folder about it is very proof that your a weak cuck.

Kill yourself faggot

ITT: op trusts a whore

We truly live in a disgusting time where women like this are not publicly beaten.

I'm unironically looking forward to Shariah in my European shit hole. Fuck this.

>it is too late for me
Fucking yea it is faggot

It’s a larp
>strong
What are you even talking about you weird cunt?

10$ says op is a balding dyel manlet

>for you

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You know how I know you larping?