Make a monkey's paw wish

Saw someone make this thread sometime last week and then they didn't reply to anyone. I'll be here a while so let's make it a fun Sunday. I'll try my best.

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>I WISH MY ONEITIS WOULD LOVE ME JUST AS MUCH AS I LOVE HER!

If she loved me as much as I loved her... well, I reckon it would be some shit with her going insane. I'm already stricken with loads of mental anguish and she'd probs go full killer skin peeling yandere.

She loves you so much she ends up being too afraid to confront you about it. She avoids you to the best of her ability and when you try and get to her through your best efforts she hangs herself in her room.

i wish i was the luckiest(all aspects) living creature for my entire and current life

I last talked to yesterday though user... she even said she wants to go camping with me some time... I think she'd go insane rather then pull a Doki doki literature club.

but thanks for the monkeys paw anyway.

I wish I could feel no physical pain with regenerative healing and remain looking like I'm in my twenties but die at the age of 50

dude, I don't know ur oneitis, good luck though!
The things you enjoyed are once gone from getting anything you want at any time from the luck of gods. Your mental state deteriorates into suicidal thoughts. You get the same fate as most people on this site as well as edgy 13-year-olds; wanting to just die. As you're taking a nice night walk, a pipe explodes with a nut flying out as such high speeds it goes right between your eyes killing you. (I feel this one is pretty uncreative so I apologize in advance, this is more difficult than I thought.)

fuck I don't know man
shit this thread made me realize I don't even want anything

I wish to move

YO YO YO user I JUST THOUGHT OF SOME MAD MONKEYS PAW SHIT FOR THIS
Don't worry I got you senpai
(I'll just name off everything incase they do or do not exist)
Your immense luck only comes around to suit you. Your grandparents pass away leaving you everything in their name. Shortly after your parents follow doing the same, giving you everything. Your siblings end up with the same fate. Your friends lives all turn to shit with friends turning on them in hopes of getting closer to you. Their girlfriends leave them in an attempt to get with you.

Basically, everything goes in your favour but for everybody else its shit. Family members die leaving you to everything. Your friends are all going to be battling it out to gain your friendship leaving you a messy yet involved disaster. You'll just end up king of everything with nobody to rule over.

Excited about your new found ability you try out lots of very dangerous things. One accident happens and you end up losing both arms and legs making you a potato. You find out you don't have the regenerative abilities as DIO or Wolverine and it can only heal small cuts and wounds at an almost instant pace. Your country has no assisted suicide procedures and you have no way a doing it yourself so you are stuck until your 50th birthday when you have a new nurse taking care of you hit you and kill you after making a suggestive comment. She was into older men but since you looked 20, no dice.

Well that is the true lesson of the monkey's paw. Wishing for something will grant your wish but in a way you don't want or with backlash

They'd probably enjoy that though...
I give you creative points

at least I went out doing what I loved, making woman rage at me

The inside of your mouth is full of fetid sores as you bite yourself everytime you chew something

I wish for $1000USD a week in cash.
Not by illegal means
Real actual currency , not funny money.
No taxes
No funny business

I know that feel.....
All my wishes come true but in terrible ways.....

You get exactly that. The difficult part is going outside to use it. Good luck in the real world. Especially bringing that much money out to a bank or to spend. Gonna be pretty dangerous. Also, I doubt a bank would accept that much cash at once if you were to put it there.

i wish for all niggers beamers and and jews,everione left of center on the political compass to die instantly and whitout pain

monkey's paw is basically just a creative writing exercise since there are loopholes in anything you ask

Ultra real VR is a thing.
>but if you die in it, you die in real life.

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That's why I like urban legends and stuff so much. They have so much meaning and I learn many things from them.
Remember user, time heals all wounds. The problem is that you might not enough time to heal or get new wounds faster than the old ones go away.

Just got intel that I've gotta be somewhere at 2:30 so I'll probably end this thread at 2 EST. (though it'll most likely die beforehand)

in 5 years after making this wish you will be culturaly enriched by a peacefull migrant,given your power you will walk out of the explosion intact.
Goverments will notice amd will try to hunt you down especialy the usa china and russia,one will try to use you as a super soldier the other two for military/medical experiments but its not possible to know wich is wich

Alright, now this is going to be fun.
I wish for an immortal eldritch shapeshifting waifu who will love me forever to an inhuman degree and has a myriad of other powers at her disposal.

you are now a 80 iq nig from somalia and that 1k is your state granted gibs

with all left people gone the right side splits into two sides becoming a right-left and right-right.
Money becomes nothing because the jews can't keep it in check, no black people means no poor people so the class above them becomes that poor now, and no one needed beamers anyway so the air is cleaner and there's more of it

so basically I'm Dr. Manhattan now

turns out u were in a VR all along and come out into a worse state than you currently are. You decide to just go back.

eldritch minds are different from ours tho,you pain will be interpreted as pleasure by her amd pleasure as a mixture of extreme pain and disgust,your hapiness as sorrow and the other way around.And to top it off and lock you out of explaining stuff to it,it cant comprehend human language or any form of comunication you or any willing to help you may use.
Have fun and ejoy your shogoth femdom and ultra abusive gf

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so we move on to ancaps vs fascist,that sound quite good if it goes like the soviets vs usa with advancements to military and medical aplication out the ass to suports the war(s) and a all new space race

If one exists, more do. Humans now have these creatures everywhere. An intense fight breaks out after one of them's lover dies of old age and goes on a manic rampage. As more and more people die, more of these are created, eventually all human race is wiped out and earth is turned into them forever for they are immortal

whitout reality breaking powers sadly,but maybe those experiments will turn you into a higer being or some shit if you dont loose your mind before that is,then youd be just a mindless unkillable berzerker