I bet you faggots arent even shitting correctly, can you do ANYTHING right?

I bet you faggots arent even shitting correctly, can you do ANYTHING right?

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tfw have a hemorrhoid from pushing too hard

your body will tell you when you have to shit, so never push hard. U should take some rutin capsules, after a few days they will be gone.

Yeah but what if you havent taken a shit in a few days and are clogged?

but what if my body is telling me theres more left, and I need to push hard to get out?

I normally just shit all over myself, it's hot

How do you manage to shit on yourself when poopo comes out of your bum bum???

Life face down in bed. Shit

I've tried using a stool, it doesn't help at all

So you dont know how to shit?

wait till you feel the need to poop again.

well being clogged is another problem, you'd need to find a way to soften your stool. Increase fiber intake if your diet does not have a lot of fiber and try to stay active. If that doesn't work you can try to get a stool softener or some sort of natural laxative.

I have my feet up on the toilet rim with my ass and cup my balls with both hands while I shit

>not manually deflating it afterwards
retard

Based and redpilled way to shit

You're not pushing hard enough, nigger your eyes should fly out of their socket while taking a dump. Your sheer force should shatter the toilet once your turd is fired into the shitter at the speed of sound, make Nagasaki anf Hirshoma look like fucking water balloons in comparison of your furious asshole firing catastrophic logs.

There is supreme wisdom in this user's words. There's no shame in going twice. WebMD will tell you that you have terminal bowel cancer if you feel incomplete defecation, but it absolutely happens. Especially if you eat stuff that makes you flatulent. Like, I have coffee with some milk every morning, which gives me a fantastic shit. But the downside is I feel like I want to shit for an hour afterwards, but it passes with a few farts. You don't want to give yourself full blown diarrhea.

I got one of those now. The one and only time I've used it so far, my legs went numb.

I shit while standing up, no fucks given

Doesn't it smear?

Yup. I use a footstool when shitting

>posting the inferior virgin squat

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Are you a little person, user?

i love how some people on Jow Forums complain about their lack of gf
and others post shit like this
im sure if a girl came over to your house and saw your little shitting stool or whatever the fuck and had to hear your lecture about correct shitting posture and etiquette theyd be all over you

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I guess it does... If you step on it.

I only shit mid-backflip

Surely you have enough ass to where they meet, unless you're standing there spreading your cheeks with your hands while a hot one drops.

Surley you understand that was just a joke?
But on a serious note, I don't eat shitty fast food and lots of times there's nothing on paper, other times only wipe or two is enough.
Eat more fibers and healthy foods my dude

Yeah well I bet they would shit in my mouth CORRECTLY