So user what's wrong with life and how are you going to fix it?

I haven't cared about having a girlfriend for years. The main things that will probably force me to change my lifestyle are college, my weight increasing, and the strong urge to have a few close friends. I've already stopped enjoying vidya and anime. Lately most of my free time is spent browsing here. I wish I could change all my bad habits, but its really hard and kind of scary to change the way you've been living for over a decade.

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What about after college any plans to do anything?

Something is very seriously wrong with my brain. I'm barely able to think nowadays. I feel uncomfortable pressure in my head all the time. I do have some goals but working towards them is like trying to run with broken legs.

I've been taking college life day by day or week by week. Any time I try to think further I get really anxious. If I graduate college I still don't know what I'll do after. I just want of finish so I don't put any extra pressure on my parents.

Have you gone to a medical professional or said to family that's it's that bad?

Get college done and look into careers take life one bit at a time

I dropped out of university a couple years back, and I'm been terrified to go back ever since. I know what I want out of life, generally speaking, I just have no idea on how to start down the path to achieve what I want.

I need a job that pays better than the contract work I do now. But in order to do that I need to go back to university. The problem is I have no idea what I should take or what field of work I could go into that won't make me want to blow my brains out. I'm fucking terrified that I might not be smart enough to succeed in what I take. And even if I am, I'm scared that I wont be able to find decent work.

To make everything worse, I've never had anyone to talk to about any of my problems so they just pile up on the inside. Everyone I know doesn't have a clue that I'm an absolute train wreck on the inside since I always try my best to hide it, not that anyone every really asks.

Everyday gets a little bit worse, and I'm afraid that I'll break soon.

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I can't tell if it's that bad or I'm imagining it or what the fuck is going on anymore. They all think I'm weak and that I'm making it up or that it's purely psychological. Thanks for your worries, guy.

everything and idk

Yeah I'm hoping I will be able to finish college and then enjoy things for a few months before I'm back into work life. I've never traveled anywhere or done anything remotely cool so I'm looking forward to that little gap I'll get after college and before my first career. Now I just need to change my study habits so I can hopefully graduate in a few years.

If you go back to uni when your a tad more chilled out with life it'll be better in the long run , spend time with family and friends enjoy it while you have it, go and seek help if you need it , it may be hard but it'll help

I've gotten myself a girlfriend somehow but I don't feel an emotional connection to her. She's fat (90lbs more than me) and I love her body and sex with her, but there's nothing else really.

Take a hike someplace where you feel like you can accomplish something and lie down after words looking upon a town from above, please try it you'll love it , it doesn't have to be to hard just walk somewhere in the out doors with a great view and take it in

Is there no emotional link between you two?

I mean there is something there, like when we go out on dates together or we're cuddling in bed or kissing or whatever, but I don't see myself marrying her or being with her forever if that makes sense.

Yeah I understand, I have to go but I wish you the best user

unless your a chad that was already fucking before her then you should keep her for the sex and just slowly drift away emotionally until you two break off.

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I do that like once a month, going to do it tomorrow also but it doesn't do much, I can't take much in, I feel like I'm blind and deaf, I'm just not feeling it.

My mom and dad made the genius decision when I was born to move to the other end of the country, away from what little family we had. I 'know' them in a loose sense, spent the odd holiday with them, stuff like that. Ever since my Dad fucked off out east when I was still a kid, my mom has been the only family still left close by. And in case you're wondering, me and my mom don't get along.

I have friends, I guess you could call them. I enjoy hanging out with them, but I don't feel comfortable talking about my issues with them. Its not that they're bad people or anything like that, I just don't think they'd know what to say or do to offer any support.

I've been trying to improve myself and my situation, and for a while I actually was. But at some point I slipped and fell right back down. Its fucked, when I was a child, I used to be extremely comfortable with being alone. I even found it preferable. But as I got old I found myself wanting to spend a little time with someone, someone I could lean on and trust. I don't need them to light a fire under my ass, or hold me tight and magic away all my problems. I just want someone who will sit, listen, and accept me for who I am.

Struggle with porn, hypochondria, my own mortality, my unability to concentrate on tasks instead of hopping between useful and useless shit, struggle with my procrastination, with the existence/abscence of something greater or an afterlife. I feel sad when there's moments it becomes clear that we are very shitty to each other, I feel sad when I realize that there's people out that have been handed very bad cards at life, I feel depressed when I stumble across inconsistencies in my own logic (I'm ugly but at the same time I have high standards, I'm unable to "looksmatch"), sometimes I have spells of neediness, sometimes I feel empty and or numb, perpetually unsatisfied, sometimes I feel like I have a very low IQ. I lack willpower, the feel of impotency depresses me, I see plenty of people that thinks and behaves radically differently than I do and I start questioning myself and feeling more and more disconnected while also feeling obsolete. I'm turbulent to the point that I feel like I don't really know myself better than anyone else does. I didn't knew what I should go for in college and decided that compsci looked good enough, I'm not sure if my feelings towards others are normal or just about blunted as the one from a sociopath, I don't know if the way I am is true or just a mask that I've been wearing for so long because I've never built an actual character that now I have no idea if I'm being real or not. I don't cry, I don't have strong and or constant suicidal thoughts so I don't know if I have depression or not.
My solution/plan?
Finally something that I know: I have none.