User have you ever approached a grill?

>I deserve to be a virgin because of my stupidity
This is a valid point for something like 90% of incels.

what is the plan user?
I wish you good luck

you make me feel rather excellent about myself

>Chik-Fil-A
The most patrician of the fast food joints.

According to my doujins, fucking a fairy doggystyle is the best option, so you can play with her wings

>be me
>be 15 back then
>positive, generally pretty outgoing back then
>get mostly shitfaced at parties to overcome my shyness/anxiety
>Late afternoon, some party at a club/bar
>See pretty exchange student from class
>go talk to her, with drunken demeanor
>put my arms around her and tell her she's very pretty
>She straight up tells me: 'user, you're not my type, please go away'
>see her make out with another dude 5 minutes or so later

A few more comparable situations within my youth.
Didn't really understand how women work until 1 years or so later

I think I didn't want to understand.

Never tried anything with a woman ever again unless they explicitely initiated it.

Women are merely an index for social calibration, there is 0 value in pursuing a woman romantically, unless you have actual social status.

Nada.

>be me
>Relatively good looking autist with no friends
>Decide to approach this qt at college
>Finally approach
>Tell her that I think she is a qt and I wanted to get her number
>She gets suspicious asks "why?"
>Start panicking "b-becuz I fink ur qt"
>Awkward silence for like 30s
>I ask "so is that a no?"
>She asks if I'm in some kind of group
>Tell her I am on my own
>She is reluctant to give me her number
>Asks If I've got something else
>Tell her I've got snap
>She adds me on snapchat
>Go home shaking
>Get intense anxiety for the next 2 weeks
>Still haven't messaged her once
This happened like 4 weeks ago.
Still get anxious thinking about it.

Why am I like this bros?

Attached: 1499342092215.png (363x296, 136K)

>tfw no doll whore gf

>I was in need of sex
>then I went to the IRC and lurked for pussy
>no success
>until a homie came to me and told me: "Ask KitanaCML"
>and I did: "Hey, you want to fuck?"
>she replied: "Call me: xxx-xxxx"
We had sex the next day. Also, before I went to her, an ex-girlfriend came to my house and I have to fuck her a little. Two in the same day. It was fun.

Man, I hate normies.
I wish I lived in america so I could go eee-aah.

No. A lot of times when I'm at a bar with friends they say I should go talk to girls but I never have the balls.

>Have to fuck her a little
You mean like 3 pumps and then leaving? Or just put it in and then go?

Elaborate a little bit, I see some hole here.
If it went the way I'm understanding it, don't expect her to add you on snap

Just get drunk and do it user

He needs to make sure the girl is slightly more drunk than him, but both can walk

I am no normie.

No. A lot of sex. From 6 a.m. to 11 a.m., and then I fucked the other chick from 12 p.m. until 15 p.m. I wanted more, but the stupid fucking cunt was a little crazy.

>be me
>like Polish girl
>she calls me weird and creepy and ugly
Yeah, that's how that went. Screw the so called roasties of the world.

>be me
>just siting at the table
>qt girl approaches me
>may I take your order?
>I-i will have the stake
>great choice
>y-you too

>>I-i will have the stake
>stake
Not tendies for the big boy?

I feel you, user. I cuddled with a girl in bed for nearly two hours and didn't realize that she was into me

>It's the only non-familial female interaction I've had in two months.
Are you saying this ... isn't normal?
I thought I was slowly ascending to normiedom but I guess not.

Where do you go to talk to women? Places I frequent are like 90% male and 10% their girlfriends.Anyway shit dude why would this be necessary? I interact with whomever I interact with, I don't go out of my way to talk to (or avoid) women. What's so special about them?

>Introduce self to girl after class
>She's pretty cool
>Have lunch with her
>Hang out a bit
>Find out she has a bf
Every goddamn time, who am I kidding of course a girl that cute's got a bf, I wish she wasn't so nice to me.

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Women can be friends too you know.
I'm envious because you had the chance to talk to a girl and go out and eat with her in the first place -- I'll never be able to do that, because there are no girls in my classes.

Well yeah I'm not just gonna suddenly stop talking to her, it's just extremely disappointing.

How? I know I didn't get the message but how do you get to cuddling without noticing that?

I have some stories. Bear in mind that i'm now 101% turbonormie / semichad (because I'm tall and lift) with a gf.

Story 1
>grill I like
>really trashy grul
>literally fucking TREMBLING when talking to her
>after a while I get to be confident^TM
>one day out of the blue she tells me I could *sleep* at her home
>sperg out and say "no"
she lived really far away so in my autist brain it seemed like a bad idea to sleep there when my home was literally 10 min away. The next day I realized I missed the opportunity to bang her
>2 weeks later I'm still in """""love"""""" with her
>see her kissing another guy
>automatically lose interest

Story 2
>titcow petite girl everyone desired
>dance with her
>get to know her, she has no brain
>perfect
>fast forward 3 months of me being a social retard not knowing how to approach her, it's new years eve
>dance with her again
>perfect opportunity to kiss
>I don't have the balls
>STILL see her a while after that
>at this point its fucking embarrassing, it's clear i'm interested and she knows it but am too beta to do anything so in her eyes I become pathetic
>ultimately desist

Story 3
>gril with nice tits was really drunk and really into me
>this was way before the other stories and I was ultra-depressed with negative self esteem
>very embarassed to be desired, memed myself into believeing such thing was wrong, no one could love me etc
>eventually storm out of the party and go home hating myself for being a pathetic weakling

In retrospective I think if it wasn't for my pathological social anxiety, depression and emotional beatings in HS (I was a greasy long-haired disgusting metalhead so most girls mocked me) I could have been quite the chad. As soon as I cut my hair I received lots of attention without even trying, alas it took me 6 years to actually overcome all that and finally get a gf. I'm happy now, tho.

Have her introduce you to her single friends.

How the hell do you do that without sounding creepy or weird? I can't think of any way "got any friends?" or "Can you introduce me to someone?" doesn't get awkward.

Women love to play matchmaker. You don't have to outright say "Hey hook me up with one of your friends." Complain about how much it sucks being single during the holidays or on New Years when the ball drops next time you're talking to her. If she has any friends she thinks might be a good match for you she will think of that.

She's almost a billionaire, so I guess her life is fine.

I was talking more about her face and eyes, she looks like she regrets being there

>Be me in highschool before I gave up on women
>homecoming dance coming up and want a date
>be in gym with classmates and girl I like
>Go sit next to her and nervously ask her to the dance
>she rejects me loudly while scooting away from me looking visibly disgusted
>classmates see and begin laughing and making jokes
>try to play it off by acting like I was just joking around
>Irreparable damage done to my self esteem

>join hiking group at university
>new member one week is a quiet autistic girl
>she walked beside me and we talked about ourselves
>was pretty awkward but she smiled a lot and laughed at my stories
>ask if she'd come hiking with me again
>she said yes but only if it was without the group

got somes

>be me 18 in a school trip
>another class was with us, they were almost all girls (23g, 3 males, 1 of them was gay)
>we go out drinking and shit for 4 nights on our own (without the other class)
>last night some girls from the other class joins us, but pretty early they wants to leave
>they were still scared to go alone to the metro, asked if someone wanted to accompany them
>me and my roommate (totally stonerbro, cool guy, one of those who doesn't take life too seriously) agree
>we were quite bored to go always in the same bar drinking anyway
>on the way home we stop in a different, way more classy bar
>there wasn't enough room for everyone to sit down tho
>the table were the girls sit down was on a "stage"
>i sit on the edge of the stage and then someone start playing with my hairs, let's call her redqt
had curly hairs back then
>then some other stuff happened between me and redqt (I layed my head on her leg and some other minor contact)
>we made it to the hotel, they asked us if we wanted to join them in their room
>yess.jpg
>we were in like 14 in that room, 2 males 12 females, some of them starts playing a card game with some drinking rules, then they dropped the cards and went straight for some drinking games
>I sat behind redqt and I gave her a shoulder massage
I'm pretty good at them, and I like to give massages out
>long story short me and stonerbro sleep there, I sleep hugged with redqt, share a kiss and some exploring, nothing more
>when we got home I asked for her number
>she gave it to me

and nothing more, stuff went on for 6 months, than we broke up

still I like how we met up

did you fug all the girls?
Also REEE

>be lonely user but cute af
>one day in highschool forced to sit in cafeteria
>sit down with another lonely girl
>we talk and giggle
>she turns out to be a crazy fat whore that's gotten knocked up multiple times
>i reject the shit out of her
>she goes around telling people I'm a faggot

andddd ever since then the only girls I've dated have been the ones that have approached me, I've dated 5 and about 10 in total have approached me.

It's just me talking about how I came into college on that day to catch up on some coursework and she was in the same position.

nah, just that one, and not even that night
and yeah, REEEEEEEEEEEEE

>I'm no normie
>Has an ex-gf
>A lot of sex, from 6am to 11am.

Yeah, sure bud.
I hope you get aids.

That woman in that pic has hitten the uncanny valley, she's not even attractive anymore.

Post a prettier chick instead of this plastic mannequin.

Give me like 6 months first then we'll talk about approaching women

>average looking non-thot at the gym
>think she's probably within my league
>walk past her while she's resting on the situp bench holding a 5kg plate
>say "oh it's you who took the plate"
>make some comment about how meatheads leave weights lying all over the place
>walk away
She seemed kind of interested I guess, but I don't know how to maintain a coversation. Coming up with the talking point of people being messy with the weights used up all of my social intelligence

I'm screenshotting any thread pertaining to the Kardashians while compiling evidence for a lawsuit I'm bringing against the entire family. I would advise not to post any Kardashian related material on Jow Forums.

Is that some sort of triple-double reverse psychology?

What are you doing here then. Go hiking with her fag.

I do. We go twice a month. That was 5 years ago and we're now married.

>spicy chicken deluxe with pepper jack
My fucking negro

Shit happend 2 days ago
>finally got out of school
>started working in my mom's therapy center
>people doing some shit in one of the rooms
>they finish and they're walking out
>all women
>qt gril comes out with a small cake
the door of the room is in front of my desk
>she comes out of the room straight to my desk
>"hi, would you like this cake?"
>sounds very shy
>me being fucking braindead
>"yeah, sure!"
>to happy i got a free cake to say thanks
>"bye"
>very akward goodbye
>she turns as she closes the door to reveal a face of disapointment
not really a approach story form my side but next wednesday if i see her again i will approach her
wish me some luck

I believe in you user.
You can succeed where I failed

Reeeee.
I'm glad for you, user. But why are you here then?

I'm autistic, she's autistic, I fit in here. I've been here longer than I've been with her and I feel I can give advice to people here.

Alright I'll repost just for you op!
>be me
>see girl on bench
>walk up to girl
>introduce myself and ask what her name is
>ask of she's got a bf
>tell her she looks like a nice person
>tell her if she'd like to go out sometime
>tell the grill that I'd really like to get to know her
>she says sure
>give her my number
>we date for some months
>become dumped
Was still in school and lowered my standards when I did it though I bet it wouldn't work now.

Attached: image.jpg (150x233, 13K)

A shit-ton of makeup. Yeesh!

You must be actually somewhat handsome if you can get away with wearing headphones in public.
It's the most autistic looking thing I swear, right after wearing airpods.
>why am I like this bros?
Because you haven't yet discovered it's so much easier and better to actually get to know a girl and be friendly before you just ask them out. That way you can spot red flags and see if they're actually interested in you etc. If they're not for you, then you have yourself a new friend.
This girl actually sounds like she was anxious about being singled out and might actually be into you, talk to her and get to know her and she might surprise you user.
>implying she wasn't friendly because she wants to be friends
Is it an American thing, Not believing you can be friends with the opposite sex?
Go hiking m8, she's obviously far too shy to do it with her alone; but in time that might change.
Don't shit where you eat user.
Offer her a cake back, but ask her to eat it with you and have a laugh about it m8. You'll be able to work out pretty fast if she likes you based on her response.

I mean, thank you but I don't think I am somewhat handsome and also a virgin at 26. But maybe I'm too autistic to have some slut throw herself at me

>Be me
>Working shitty boat hire job on a beach
>9/10 Chinese qt comes in wanting a boat
>Asking for a discount while being really flirty
>Figure she just wants a discount, pretend to give her one but It's really just the normal prices.
>She gets back from her boat hire, fucking around with family on beach
>I'm hiding off to the side smoking a joint and listening to depressing music
>She comes over, I throw the joint, and she offers me a cigarette, guess she thought thats what I was smoking
>Take it, she has one too, chat about bullshit
>As she's leaving get her number

It ended badly, but I still have no idea how I landed a fuckin azn babe like that. She looked like a k-pop star, should've known it wouldn't work. Never managed to get another girl that made me feel like she did, and definitely none that were anywhere near as beautiful.

I hope you find a qt shy wife either way user.

This was her, again no fuckin idea how I did it. Years later though and I'm still working the same shitty job and haven't seen anyone for years. Guess lightning doesn't strike twice.

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Fuck, I did this, too. Sandwich and everything.

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>be me
>approach grill
>get rejected
hope you liked my greentext lads

>go to normie party
>see pretty girl
>dance her way, touch her shoulder and smile
>she doesn't even look at me weird
>turns her back at me
later
>girl in university who was part of my hangout group
>talk with her all the time
>tell her how I'd love to have her, hang out with her, drop even "you're killing me" and other such sappy lines
>she goes on dates with me, we look into each other's eyes and shit, yet she never kisses me
>one day mentions her cousin and how cool his Portuguese sounds
>learn my lesson and never again try to behave like a man

>get absolutely shitfaced and go out to a student-pub by my uni
>end up chatting to some equally petite qt for a while
>Never flirted in my life but both parties are too drunk to comprehend my autism
>Things escaltate and she ends up dragging me to the bathroom.
>Stand there awkwardly staring at her for a good minute or two before she decides to just sit down and take a piss
Fuck i have to save this.. i was so close
>Awkwardly chuckle until she finishes and leaves.

I was probably vomiting spaghetti all trough the night but that's the only part i remember.

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>At a club with a few friends.
>Hate the music so I go to the smoking area outside
>Notice 7/10 on her own smoking, drunkass me decides to talk to her.
>Actually get on well, she offers me a cigarette and we smoke together
>Starts flirting with me
>Somehow I don't spaghetti and flirt back
>Start making out
>She suggests we go back to hers, finally think I've made it
>As if on cue, my best friend bursts through the club doors, drunk as fuck
>Friends tell me he needs to be taken home, no-one lives near him aside from me
>It's either I take him home or he's fucked.
>Explain to the girl I was with that my friend is fucked, exchange numbers and take care of my friend.
>Get friend home safely. By the time I'm home, everywhere is closed.
>Message girl that night and the following morning, no reply.
>tfw cockblocked by my best friend getting too drunk.

I never let him live it down. I'd still do it again though, I couldn't leave my friend.

Yea, im not a chad or even a normie and im a shut in but not a virgin and i kinda have confidence sometimes but my social skills are actually so weird, prolly not even as bad as u guys but im weird as hell
>Ask her if she minds
>She says nah then we both kinda giggle
>Silence
>Ask her what video game changed her life lol
>She says she doesnt play video games
>"Thats kinda a weird question, whats a video game that changed ur life"
>Describe portal 1 to her
>She tells me she played wizard 101 when she was 9
>Silence
>Tell her ive been up since yesterday
>She asks why and i cant really think of a good reason n im jus like idk
>She giggled a lot and we didnt make a lot of eye contact
I messaged ger to ask if she wanted to go to a show tn and she said she was busy

>NYC
>Visit Starbucks to charge phone
>Only outlet in a tight corner
>Cute girl sitting next to outlet
>Have to squeeze by her to get to outlet
>"Hey, is it cool if I pass through real quick? haha"
>Gives cute answer back (Forgot the exact lines)
>Blush little bit from her answer
>"Is it cool if you watch my stuff for a second, while I get some coffee?"
>Gives another witty cute answer back
>I like her personality but hold back feelings cause bad self-esteem
>Comeback later with coffee, notice she's writing on her journal
>Browse on the phone for 10 minutes trying to gather enough courage to have a conversation with her
>Palms literally sweating a bit
>Put phone down
>"Is that your personal journal?"
>Got my way into a conversation finally
>She's Swedish, theatre major, works as a substitute actress for a show.
>Eventually has to go meet a guy friend at train station
>Say our farewells
>Feel kind of a bit more empty now than before meeting her
The picture is kind of similar to her, going by memory.

Attached: swedgirl.png (366x462, 363K)

>be me, high school
>absolutely hideous, overweight, autistic
>have crush on grill
>we are friends, get along, have similar interests
>don't do anything about it for a year
>feelsbadman.jpg
>people tell me I have a great personality (they were lying) and that any girl would be happy to be my gf.
>finally gather up the courage to talk to her
>"I'm not interested in dating right now."
>dating chad one week later
>This is when I realized: when they say "any girl would love to be your gf!" what they really mean is "Any girl but me."

this one makes my soul hurt
>be me, college
>at bar, drunk
>drunk MILF approaches
>"Hey cutie"
>"Um, high."
>"So, how old do you think I am?"
>"I don't know. 30?"
>The smile melts off her face
>"I'm 24"
>Spaghetti flying everywhere
>she leaves, her feelings clearly hurt
>fuck me

and another
>be me, college
>between bars, drunk
>middle-aged black woman approaches me
>Not attractive, she was Jow Forums propaganda-tier ugly
>"Ayyo witeboi lemmy at dat ass."
>She smacks me in the butt
>I'm confused as fuck
>Run away
>She follows me into the next bar
>Tell her to leave me alone
>Remember that I'm in the not so great part of the city
>She's probably a hooker, wants my betabux
>run home and feel bad about it

Attached: [Sad Starfish Noises].jpg (540x429, 31K)

part 1

>be me
>at friends New year's party
>first real party I've ever been to and I only know the host
>grab a drink and commence idling around the room like the loser I am
>people keep showing up making a bigger and bigger crowd of people I don't know and don't want to talk to
>eventually, though... I see someone I DO want to talk to
>cury shortstack, with perfect ass and huge tits, caramel skin, soft looking hair, tight back clothes that are barely more than a sports bra and short shorts paired with high heel boots
>I was pretty drunk from drinking to look busy and she was so fucking hot
>first time at a party so I go off tales I've heard about how to "mingle" or whatever
>drunk brain reasons that even though she's a million miles out of my league, parties are just drunk people talking to each other, right?
>I'm drunk and at a party, surely that excused a fat loser from approaching such a thick beautiful girl
>everyone starts sitting around a table so I take the opportunity to sit beside her
>say "hi" and try to start a conversation a few times but she only gives short response, clearly trying to end any short interaction we had
>eventually she turned in her chair so her back was facing me so I got another drink to soothe the pain of failure
>should have expected this since she was a 9/10 and I'm a solid 5/10 on a good day but drunk confidence had my hopes up
>was already close to wasted, another drink later I barely know what's going on
>suddenly, the table I'm leaning on jerks harshly to the side, startling me out of zoning out
>pretty non-functional at this point and start babbling over and over that the table moved, looking around at the people around me to try and figure out what the fuck happened
>lock eyes with thick cutie who wanted nothing to do with me
>she was already staring at me with this really intense look when I glanced towards her
>she had the leg of the table in her hands, holding it against her pussy while she stared at me

part 2

>brain short circuits because holy fuck
>frozen staring at her like an idiot
>she suddenly lets go of table and lunges at me
>was sitting between her and a wall because I didn't want to be beside any other people, so she pushes me against the wall
>immediately, hand on my dick, making out with me hard
>internal panic because
>A) I was a virgin at the time and a hot girl was all over me
>B) I was still at a party surrounded by strangers who were all screaming and shouting because of what was happening
>continue the be a useless idiot and don't move beyond making out because fuck even despite awkwardness and embarrassment I was getting everything I fucking could out of this
>turns out as much as I could get was a few seconds of this before she dropped to the floor and passed out at my feet
>buddy later tells me I was still standing there with my tongue out for a few seconds while other people rushed to help her
>they put her on the couch until someone picks her up, it's early morning at that point so people start to go home
>I'm friends with the host so I slept over
>next day when I can function I ask about the girl and only find out she was a friend of a friend and my buddy doesn't know her name or anything else about her
>never see her or any of the other party goers ever again
>years later still remember how her hand felt on my junk
>most confusing and exciting experience I've ever had simply from deciding to approach a girl

>Summer of freshman year
>About to move to a different state, best friend throws me a going away party at his house
>different friend of mine brings his girlfriend
>Really pretty, long blonde hair, greenish-brown eyes
>everyone starts playing manhunt
>Hide in hot tub because lazy as fuck, don't want to participate
>buddy's gf hops in with me.
>Tells me she hates her boyfriend, gets real close to me.
>really glad jets are on because erect
>I don't do anything with her
>go home and jerk off

>later that summer
>have some friends over at my house
>qt girl with dyed red hair from my english class.
>Swim in pool with her, and her/my friends
>end up having first kiss cause truth or dare
>Go inside, watch Coraline on my futon and makeout
>Gives me a mediocre handjob
>Dont nut
>Fall asleep
>Move, never spoke to her again
>heard shes gay nowaday

>Show up at new school
>Hrony
>Hook up with chubby girl with intent on fucking
>Realise shes kind of an asshole and not very attractive
>She gives me a blowjob once
>nut on her chest.
>Break up with her a few weeks later in the school parking lot.

>Meet qt hispanic girl in my chemistry class
>Go to church with her
>Lust for her for most of highschool
>She doesn't feel the same way
>Give up and drift apart from her
>Dont even go to graduation, join air force and leave town again

>In basic training, meet CUTE ass chinese girl.
>Get outcompeted by actually physically fit guys for her attention.

>In tech training after that
>Chubbie white girl from Hawaii gets attached to me.
>comes into my dorm room every once in a while to play Fallout and watch Sailor Moon
>if you get caught fucking in training you get washed back to the beginning
>Fuck that

>Graduated
>Blonde girl from hometown hits me up
>Long distance date her for a little bit
>Visit home town
>shes on period
>dont fuck cause gross
>go home
>Broke up with me a few days later over text message, wont return any of my calls

Still haven't fucked anything, feels bad.

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>I just say cool, and put back my headphones

>be at show my shitty band was playing at
>mad about internal band drama
>qt catches my eye
>Short, brunette with curly hair, tan, big tits
>music is all I'm good at, so I'm actually feeling pretty confident that night
>try to think of a reason to talk to her
>can't think of one

>conversation later that night, she's standing in the circle outside
>it comes up that I speak French
>She starts speaking French to me
>chat up random bullshit, she's chill as fuck
>end up making out that night

>take her out for coffee the following Wednesday
>this started a 2 1/2 year relationship
>tfw breakup was so fucking horrible I'm still emotionally stunted by it almost five years after the fact

Attached: 120_-_benis.jpg (600x510, 38K)

>but I still have no idea how I landed a fuckin azn babe like that
You're white