ITT: We're stuck in a waiting room

*sits silently irritated at the guy who is having a loud phone conversation*

>look at Phone
>look at Clock
>look at Phone again
>sigh

NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER FUCK SHIT CUNT MOTHERFUCKER VAGINA PENIS NIGGER FAGGOT RETARD DAMN HELL DICK BITCH

*thinks about why the fagg next to me wont share the arm rest*

>go outside because I can't handle the pressure

*starts crying while on the phone*

*my armrest!*

Sir kindly leave this establishment.

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ahh, the psychologist waiting room. i used to always get out of school to go there when i was a kid.

>20 minutes past my appointment time
>wait, did i actually book the appointment?
>not sure, better just sit here in silence for another 40 minutes

>arrives on time for the scheduled appointment
>waits 40 minutes to have name called
*sigh*

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*makes small talk with guy next to me*

i'll wait i'll wait i'll wait i'll wait

>involuntary staring at others out of the corner of my eye
>try to look at the floor, it doesn't help
>start hearing their thoughts through the air vent overhead
>they can hear what im saying in my head
>get a sinister glance from the receptionist, the posters on the wall have hidden meanings
>they're going to kill me if i stay here
>get up and leave

*recites the darth plagueis speech to a plastic plant*

user you're supposed to sign in at the front desk so they know you're there...

>check out some titties across the room

*steps out from the door*

"user!"

*rings originally*

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*everyone looks up* yeah?

>sees the qt across the room and immediately start fantasizing a scenario where we get married and live a happy life

So, uh, you guys watch any anime?

>its time for your penis inspection

*opens national geographic*
Hey mum look at this!

>radio in room has NPR on instead of music.
At least its 1A and not Fresh Air.

*jumps frome ceiling*
>hello there

>pulls out my four arms

ahhh... general kenobi

*obsessively flicks through phone*

*Grabs a drink*
Any of you boys want anything?

>Sit there looking at all these wierdos while analyzing why they are still more valuable than me

>feel self conscious about lack of haircut and wrinkly clothes

>all the seats are taken
>stand quietly in the corner with my arms at my side trying to look as normal as possible

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Strawberry fanta please

Could you please leave me alone, sir.

>NPR
Calm down on the onions, buddy

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There's a seat right here buddy ;)
>gesture towards my lap

*craaaaaaaack*
*sluuuuuuurrrp*

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Alright lad one sec
*dips finger in fanta*
here you go pal

>tfw drinklet
*tears up*

WILL THE REAL(original) SLIM SHADY PLEASE STAND UP

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>check phone
>battery: 1%
>magazines are all 4 months old
>pick one at random, read anyway
>it sucks
>flip through the others
>they all suck
>check phone again
>battery: dead
>decide to leave
>mfw the door's locked

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Eee right now what

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*starts screaming autisticly*

>goes to the bathroom every 3 minutes

Very much this, yes

Uh, nope. More into Netflix shows.

*shitposts on Jow Forums and makes sure no one looks*

>*pulld out 2DS*

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I kinda like that "attack on bikemen" or whatever.

>*reacts like pic related*

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>pull out phone
>look at news
>turn to person next to me
>"...did you hear about Bush Sr.?"

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dad can i have 1.50 for the snack machine?

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nah, the 3DS is a quality machine, the switch is for cucks.

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we have snacks at home
*sip*

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>*Walks in*
>*Knocks on reception window*
> Hey Karen. I have another work order for your label printer
> Hi user! Come on in. It's out of ink again
> They...they don't use ink, Karen.
> But they're all blank!
> Right. Bit they're thermal labels. No ink.
> What's that? A kind of toner?
> They're upside down in the printer. I can see it. Let's turn them over and try again.
> Wow you fixed it!
> Happy to help, Karen. Got anything else?
> No, but there's catering for lunch back in the kitchen. Go get yourself a plate
>*Eats and bills two hours*

>Sit in silence
>Stare at floor
>Pull out phone every 5 minutes to check time and put it away
>Can't stop fantasising about the milf receptionist
>Struggle to sit comfortably in a room full of people, sit in awkward position with an angry facial expression
>*Awkward erection*
>Don't make eye contact with anyone
>Wait an extra half hour until called in

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*unnecessarily loud voice*

IS THERE A VENDING MACHINE. NUUUURSE

>*sees whats going down*

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>realize I was suppoed to sign in first after waiting for 20 minutes
>can't do it now or else people will look at me funny
>look at my phone real quick and pretend something just came up
>speedwalk out of the building
>reschedule somewhere else

*opens door*

hewoooo? mummy told me dis is wer dr. sheckleberg is. i need more pills.

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Fuck hes onto us boys

Will the owner of the retarded frog please come to the front desk?

SITTIN' IN THE WAITING ROOM

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>get tired of waiting and leave the room
>it's another waiting room

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*turn towards person directly next to me*

Yeah, for me, it's the Wynn.

>check in at reception
>find an empty seat preferably with no one else around
>sit quietly
>grab a magazine and idly flip through it
>nothing really interesting
>pull out phone to check the time
>still got 15 minutes before my appointment
>sigh
>get out earbuds and put them in
>open up Spotify
>listen to some tunes while staring at the floor
>*cough cough*
>*sniffle*
>*clears throat*
>lean back in chair
>check email and messages on phone
>nothing
>not like I'd have people to talk to anyway
>cute nurse opens the door to the exam rooms
>"Mr. user, the doctor's ready."

I could go for a sprite cranberry

Hello, asteria?
Please come in for your breast exam

>try to hold in fart
>fail and accidentally let a little out
>it makes a squeek and a little liquid shit comes out, too
>forgot to wear underwear today
>can feel the warm shit juice soaking through my pants and into the seat
>nurse calls my name, but am too ashamed to get up

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>walk into the waiting room
>all seats taken
>take out phone
>check if anybody is looking
>go on Jow Forums
>see something lewd
>NO FUCK NO BONER NOT NOW
>quickly open a rekt thread
>crisisavoided.wav
>"Mikhail Zhukov?"
>seat frees up
>wait for 2.5h more than the appointment time
>"user?"
>"Da"
>appointment takes 5mins

>1.50
You can have 75 cents for the snack machine.

>Good Afternoon, this is the office of Dr. Stacy Thunderthighs, may I ask who is calling?

>have obnoxious loud little zoomer kid
>"WAAAAAAAAAAA DAD LET'S GO HOME ALREADY"
>"no no yet"
>takes out phone
>go into youtube
>play some Peppa Pig, good Ol' Elsa & Spiderman and a bit of slime videos
>kid zoomer is glued into phone
>finally I can relax
>*craaacks*
>*sips*
>keeps reading newspaper
>"Ah... they don't make it like that anymore"

Eyeing that fucking slut teen bitch fidgeting in the chair next to her father, if she get's up to go to the bathroom I'm gonna fucking rape her I know she wants it that stupid fucking slut bitch look at her fuck this place and look at that faggot next to her bet she never been handled by a real man really gonna make her hurt I can lock the bathroom and have at least a few minutes or give her a good grope and slip my fingers up inside her ass then run

NOW SERVING NUMBER 25
....
NUMBER 25 IT'S YOUR TURN
...
LAST AND FINAL CALL FOR NUMBER 25
....
...
...
NOW SERVING NUMBER 26

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number 25!!!

>Walk into waiting room with three other guys
>Check the cameras
>Only three
>We mask up
>take out cams with silenced pistols
>control hostages
>set up fake sentries to control the hostages as we go into the ICU
>dress up in scrubs
>find patient we came here for
>mask up again
>alarm tripped
>cut right wire so security door to the patient is open
>get blood samples
>fight cops
>escape through elevator
>planes bombing hospital
>ono.jpeg
>go through hatch in the elevator
>use ambulance to escape
>mfw this is Payday: The Heist
>mfw this is the No Mercy job

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wetard fwog?

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morning
has anyone seen our son thomas? he ran in here while we were locking the car

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*look around as a bunch of monkey's stair at their screen*

*twirls into room*
HIT OR MISS, I GUESS THEY NEVER MISS HUH

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I had no idea this thread was going to be this fucking hilarious.

Fake and gay
and originoli

>browses Jow Forums on phone

>Yeah, for me, it's the Wynn.

God damn it, I laughed at that. The Wynn poster fucking WON.

wachalookinat? OMG IS THAT THE HACKERBOARD Jow Forums? bro Jow Forums is like the worst place ever it's like a cesspool like

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Jason mckelly? We have your estrogen pills ready.

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>be me
>come home from hospital where I was stuck in waiting room for 5 hours
>open r9k
>this is first thread

are u spying on me or something

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Don't be ridiculous, Kevin.

so uh... what are you here for

I lubed up a toy car and put it in my ass. You?