Dude what if you got attacked my a wild WOLF! What would you even do?

shit movie shit post

You're full of shit my dude, even the extinct super wolves of the age of megafauna didn't reach 100 kg.

>he couldn't beat a mangy lone wolf

Next you're gonna tell me you couldn't take on an angry flock of wild tom turkies with just your bare hands. Pathetic.

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You are confusing polar bears with wolves. Even the largest recorded wolves do not reach close to 100kg.

Wolves are exponentially stronger and smarter than domestic dogs.
Every roastie and skinny incel on this board would absolutely get their shit pushed in by one.

If you are strong, and remain calm and are smart you would win. But you aren't walking away from that fight without a few injuries.

And if its a pack of them, then you're pretty much fucked.
youtube.com/watch?v=dOk0VTqCmN8

I have a feeling this isn't always the most effective method even if it's how humans have killed bears with bare hands

What a dumb ass wolves are easy to kill 1v1 just like dogs. Why would you give up your arm when there are better options

You know a wolf is exponentially faster than you, right? If that motherfucker lunges at you, you'll need superhuman reflexes just to try to dodge, let alone counter it. You've been playing too much Assassin's Creed, lad.

shit taste shit post

>wolves are easy to kill 1v1 just like dogs.
nigga what wolves can tear your meat off your fucking bone you give it your arm so it doesnt rip your fucking throat out

I'd stab it with my big fuckin knife.
Wolf better watch his ass.

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Adult males have been killed by single pitbulls before. Adult European and North American wolves are bigger, stronger, faster and have a higher bite force than pitbulls by a fair margin.

>shout "fetch!"
>throw a stick
>run like a nigger with a car stereo in is hand

Go for the throat and eyes... sacrifice non-vital limbs if necessary

>exponentially faster

You start at walking pace, the wolf is jogging towards you now, though you barely see him in the distance.

You increase your pace to stay ahead, the wolf accelerates. He's now at a flat run and you can see him clearly though you still have quite a lead.

You're panicking, this fuckers gonna be chewing on your windpipe in seconds. You start sprinting towards the treeline, the wolf behind you is now a blur, as you make it to the trees you glance over your shoulder and have just enough time to jump out of the way of the claws and teeth of this zooming juggernaut.

The wolf can't slow down though, he tries to turn but it's too late. He collides with a tree at such force that it shatters every bone in the wolf's body an instant before it dies.

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take off my clothes and shake my balls with my hand to spread my alpha pheromones.
let out a loud deep roar to show him who is the alpha

You need to assert your dominance and show no fear (they can smell your fear pheromones), make yourself seem as big and scary as possible.

Animals aren't like mindless enemies in games that just beeline towards you, they do a risk assessment when engaging with other organisms, you need to make yourself seem too risky to attack.

>Wolves are easy to kill one on one.

Kek. You probably just have coyotes where you live or some shit. A wolf can easily double the size of a regular dog.

youtube.com/watch?v=_IRe6FZL688

Jesus Christ, one of those fuckers is bad enough, imagine a whole pack of them. Makes me wonder how humans were even able to domesticate them

Starch.

Feed the friendly ones. Kill the mean ones.

Starch, as in its consumption made them bloated, sluggish and pacified?

You mean make yourself too niggerish to attack

accurate, just takes quite a few generations.

Sounds like the two world wars in a nutshell

Exactly. Make it so that people cross to the opposite sidewalk when you are walking down the street.

If I'm out in the wild I have my knife with me, so probably try to stab it I guess.

nature.com/news/dog-s-dinner-was-key-to-domestication-1.12280

These guys can explain it way better.

Bumphsbsbidhd

>He collides with a tree at such force that it shatters every bone in the wolf's body

>tree explodes due to the force and the shockwave wake up the ents
>you now have to fight a mythical fae creature
out of the pot and into the fire

There are no wolves where I live so I don't worry.
If there was and they said fuck it let's kill this dude., I'd probably not interfere

Why is a single wolf randomly attacking me? They don't do that. Wolves only kill for food and defense, and generally a pack won't even try to kill a human unless they look weak, because wolves aren't stupid and know that it's easier to kill a sick or baby moose than it is to kill a healthy human.
And a SINGLE wolf would never attack something out of random aggression. For a single wolf to try to fight a creature that is roughly the same size of it (but in the wolf's eyes, the human is actually bigger than the wolf because it's taller), would mean the wolf would have to go into fight or flight mode, but if I'm casually minding my own business, it's not going to see me and think "yep, that guy's gonna kill me if I don't immediately run up to him and attack him."

If we throw out all logic and assume your autistic scenario actually happens, then I'm just going to shoot the wolf with my glock. Not really a hard question, bullets are plenty enough to kill an oversized dog.

The wolf has rabies and a magnet that steals your gun away

>tfw you'll never go hiking and cuddle a wild wolf

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>r9k talking about how easy it is to 1v1 a fucking wolf

Goddamn this board is delusional.

shoot it
>non americans

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Wolves hunt you if you run/back down.
If you face the wolf and keep making threatening movements and sounds it will not attack.
I made a dog fuck off from attacking me by opening my arms and screaming at it, then i threw a rock at it and it ran off.

I open carry a katana so it would not be a problem

Would you let it knot you?

No, because wan wans are not for lewding, but I would give it a biiiiiiiiiig hug and lots of scratches and tickles.

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I would pet him. :3

But first, I'd take a photograph! *w*

Fight the cunt innit mate.
It's just a dog like.

At least need more than 3 before I'd think it's something serious, but even then what?
I'm huge compared to a dog, it's not a fair fight and they know it.

ITT: manlets who aren't fit and haven't wrestled a dog.

They're strong, but you have two arms and two legs, they have one mouth.
You are designed, as a creature, to stand on two limbs.
You can form a perfectly flush, solid and tight blunt object with your forelimbs.

It's no match unless you are an unideal specimen.

always been told if you are out hunting and see a wolf it is time to gtfo bc they are hunting you, and wolves hunt in packs.

I'd let it fuck me.
While I'm knotted, I'd slowly reach for my pocket knife, and slice it's neck.

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I think id try intimidation. I have heard that if you hold up a large stick and wave it around it freaks the fuck out of wild animals. So I would do that and shout loudly and clap and try to generally seem like a dangerous threat. I believe if it actually got down to a fight, I dont stand much chance against a wolf or a pack of wolves. I assume they wouldnt attack unless they were pretty sure they can kill me. I guess if they do attack I would go for the eyes

You're the retard because animal aren't going to be the same size all the time.
Take andre the giant for example.

If I have nothing but my limp dick then one hand in the throat and other in the eye socket. You can quite easy pull the eyeball out with one finger. I know.

Die, try and die in the attempt, or try it and somehow succeed. There's no way in hell I'm doing shit against it otherwise or ever being able to run away.

>ideal specimen
>on Jow Forums
>on Jow Forums

What do you mean homie?
An ideal specimen isn't TOO hard to find.
The word ideal sounds great, but it's also attached to the word specimen.
Meaning the person is just about good enough to not skew the results of the experiment.

>No severe physical ailments (loss of limbs, senses, cystic fibrosis, chronic asthma etc)
>Healthy bodyfat levels
>Average or above height
>Lift a little
>30mins of cardio every day
>Can throw a punch/kick
>No phobia of canines

It's a bit demanding but at the same time, if you don't tick those boxes you deserve to get your face chewed off by LMAO1Wolf.