I believe I can see the future Cause I repeat the same routine I think I used to have a purpose But then again That might have been a dream I think I used to have a voice Now I never make a sound I just do what I've been told I really don't want them to come around
Oh, no
[Chorus:] Every day is exactly the same Every day is exactly the same There is no love here and there is no pain Every day is exactly the same
I can feel their eyes are watching In case I lose myself again Sometimes I think I'm happy here Sometimes, yet I still pretend I can't remember how this got started But I can tell you exactly how it will end
[Chorus]
I'm writing on a little piece of paper I'm hoping someday you might find Well I'll hide it behind something They won't look behind I'm still inside here A little bit comes bleeding through I wish this could have been any other way But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do
I'm thinking about leaving and how I should say goodbye. with a handshake, or an embrace, or a kiss on the cheek, or possibly all three. well maybe I've been wrong. maybe my intentions are irrelevant. but honestly, it's not just for me. we've both been so unhappy so let's just see what happens when the summer ends.
So I followed his slow and quiet sighs To the place I loved most as a child Where I chased my dreams And waved to the passing trains, the miracles of life
And here, back on those same tracks I stand again, being so much less Now alone holding nothing within But this empire of loneliness
I see a lot of people suffering from love here. It makes me think that I don't even think about those things anymore. I merely think about my ex-girlfriend anymore or the time that I spent with her. More and more I feel like if I hadn't been never with her. Like if all that time and moments that I lived with her never existed. And I don't think about finding another girl anymore either. And apparently I don't care too much about it, I don't think about it too much, maybe in some moments when you see couples in the parks or in other places but just in those few moments. I think that maybe it is because my brain realizes that I was fortunate enough to have one girlfriend for some years, experienced everything that comes with it and that I just know what it is like so I'm not so much desperate because I have already lived it. Also because I know that nobody and first myself won't want to be with someone in the state that I am right now. It's weird because I see most of the people in Jow Forums for example worried about their relationships with their girlfriend or how to talk to a girl that they like and I'm in a point where I don't even care about those issues anymore. And those issues seem so distant and boring to me now. What is the purpose of life if you have lost hope on love or you just don't even think about it anymore?
Sleeping well No bad dreams No paranoia Careful to all animals Never washing spiders down the plughole Keep in contact with old friends Enjoy a drink now and then Will frequently check credit at moral bank Hole in the wall Favours for favours Fond but not in love Charity standing orders On Sundays ring road supermarket No killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants Car wash Also on Sundays No longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows Nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate Nothing so childish At a better pace Slower and more calculated No chance of escape
youtube.com/watch?v=Gf-Dkh5NKHE >in old movies people scream >choking on their fists when they see shadows like these >but no one screams, 'cause it's just me >locked up in myself, never gonna get free
Ayden Wood
This song perfectly describes what I was going through my mind when I am in a manic-depressive episode. it doesn't matter what I say if you don't say anything in response the final phrase of my last sentence hangs in the air, sounding stupider and stupider
why can't you at least laugh I tried so hard to find the right words it's a matter of timing, you only have so long to capture the feeling before it's gone
here is a demo of my newest sentence I'll fill in the good parts later I'll make it fit together real nice and cut out all the likes
two days ago it was really bad I couldn't get my head straight all day and everything you said seemed to have an edge you were disappointed and I didn't know why
eventually it came to a head over something as stupid as making coffee you said it was a mistake to ever try and help me then you went in the kitchen
I drove off to go buy some stuff which was a mistake because I didn't want to come back I just sat in the parking lot
and dabbed at my thumb, which was bleeding for some reason leaving a trail of red blossoms on the napkin I felt sick and I didn't know what to do how long would it be before I could face you?
I look inside myself and see my heart is black I see my red door, I must have it painted black Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts It's not easy facing up when your whole world is black
