Hello!
You have entered The Rat King's Crypt! R9K's text-based RPG!
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Enjoy the game!
>Loading
>Activate: RatKingsCrypt
>You awaken at the bottom of a well. It is dark and musty. You hear chewing all around you.
>Tunnels extend to the left and right.
>What will you do?
>choose right side of tunnel and start walking it
>You enter a chamber. It is dark, but there are faint lights pouring through cracks in the ceiling.
>You see several rats scurry away from you.
>There is a table with several rods
>A door is at the far end of the room
>What will you do?
>go to the table
>have a closer look at the rods
>Grab all the fucking rods to smash baby rats with
I dont like rats.
>Exit
>The table is of fine craftsmanship. Mahogany wood. You contemplate on how silly the word "Mahogany" is.
>There are six rods, standing straight up
>One is a foot long and covered in runes
>One is six inches long and has an image of a rat on it
>One is four inches long and is perforated with holes
>What will you do?
>Grab the perforated rod and attempt to make love with it
>attempt to suck whatever is hidden in the hole-filled rod out
Get the foot long rod and cast a spell on all rats to be your slaves.
>You take the perforated rod in your hands and kiss it
>Roaches proceed to crawl out and down your esophagus
>Despite the population of roaches now inside you, you remain alive
>You feel them take root in your innards
>The perforated rod crumbles to dust
>You have contracted Belly Roaches
>What will you do?
love how people are memeing on you, but i kind of like this type of nerdy shit
>grab each wand one at a time and whirl them autistically
>start from the four inch one
>then to the six inch one
>and finally to the foot long one
punch abdomen to combat belly roaches
>The four inch rod has disintegrated
>You twirl the six inch rod. The rats all stand at attention and stare at you
>You twirl the foot long rod and the door opens
>What will you do?
>The Belly Roaches laugh at you
>What will you do?
>pretend to be a conductor and wave the six inch rod to a cheerful tune
WE GOTTA GET THROUGH THAT DOOR
DO THAT WHILE DOING
>The rats proceed to dance in a hypnotic manner
>You find yourself joining in
>You shake yourself free and stop dancing.
>The rats stop as well
>What will you do?
>You pass through the door
>The rats follow
>You enter a large stairwell.
>Creaky wooden stairs head downward into blackness
>What will you do?
eat one of the rats so that it will kill the belly roaches
>talk into the six inch rod like it's a microphone
>"go down there and find me a ladder, please"
>check for traps and proceed with caution
>look around for loot
>You eat one of the rats alive and whole
>The animal slides down your gullet
>You feel the fur and claws scratch against your innards as it slides and struggles to your guts
>The Belly Roaches appreciate the offering
>The gorge themselves on the rat
>Their children will grow fat on its flesh
>What will you do?
>The rats do not respond.
>You see no traps.
>You see a golden coin. Upon it is emblazoned the image of a bearded man.
>You proceed down the staircase.
>The wooden planks creak under your weight.
>You reach the bottom.
>It enters a wide cistern, lit by ancient candles that burn with a pale green flame.
>Ornate doorways stretch out north, east, and west
>What will you do
>rubs belly and sing to my children
>They sing back.
>They love their host.
>The rats sing too.
>A moan echoes from the eastern tunnel.
>What will you do?
.>scream at the moaning to shut the fuck up
>moan back
>The moaning grows louder.
>It spooks the rats and they flee down the west corridor.
>What will you do?
go back to fucking discord. Nobody wants to see you normies playing your multiplayer faggot normie bull shit acting as if it's everyone elses fault you're not more popular when they're just the least interesting and most offensive people to be around. your personality is like a pile of dead rats, it smells like decaying corpses. fuck off normies. your fucking games are normie bull shit that failed normies play as normies and pretend as if it's not some normie thing to do. Why don't you just start a fembot here or thread humble bragging about being a chad giving advice while you're at it you normie pile of shit?
>point the six inch rod at the eastern door, while motioning questioningly to the rats and gauging their reaction
>Yell: HEEEEELPPP! I'M LOST!
>light my torch and head torward the moaning
t h e r a t k i n g d o e s n o t a p p r e c i a t e t h i s f a g g o t r y
>The rats hesitate and stare at you
>There is fear in their eyes
>Reluctantly, they obey the rod and run down the corridor
>They disappear into the darkness
>You hear chewing
>What will you do?
Mogony? TFS King Yemma is that you?
>You try to yell, but the Belly Roaches stop you.
>They know
>You have no torch
>The rat king is pleased that you got this shit-tier reference
>Raw meat appears in your pocket
>What will you do?
rub it and summon a genie
>You rub the raw meat
>Maggots grow where you rub
>They crawl from the meat and form into a Maggot God
>The Belly Roaches recoil at this writhing monstrosity
>The Maggot God hisses and spits and coughs in a language you do not understand
>What will you do?
boring highschool normalfag shit, sorry dude
>ask the roaches to translate as best as they can
show the maggot god your dick to establish your dominance
>Say the N-Word
Game over.
>The roaches churn in your stomach. They fear the writhing Maggot God.
>The Maggot God heaves and coughs, the closest it can come to laughter
>You say the N-Word
>The Maggot God reports you on Twitter.
>What will you do.
Ask the Maggot God for a quest
>slash away at the God's ankles with the footlong rod and attempt to flee
>The Maggot God tilts its head
>Thousands of larvae drip from the worm's face
>They scrawl letters on the floor
>"Free Us. The Rat King holds the Crypt hostage. Follow the voices, where your rats have died. Free us. Free us."
>What will you do?
>It eats you and you die.
>The Game Ends.
>The Rat King laughs at your demise.
>thank the maggot god with a sensual lap dance
>listen for voices to follow
You don't appreciate me saging the thread and telling people what normy pieces of shit they are because you're a fucking normie. You can't get regular normies to do this shit because once they get within down wind distance of you they run for the fucking hills. You're playing one of the most normie games that normies ever did normie shit about and acting as if it's not for normies because you're a fucking neckbeard and your normie game doesn't have more normies because you're a fucking creepy fag even r9k dungeon dwellers won't even talk to. You're probably not even a neck beard guy either, you're probably a roastie. Fucking clambeard.
we all know you're the nigga who got belly roaches
did you learn the term "normie" just today redditor-kun?
>It enjoys it.
>You follow the moans to an open chamber.
>A man lies upon an altar.
>Rats are chewing on the remains of his limbs.
>He is alive
>The image of a great rat god stares down at you from above the altar.
>What do you do?
>I kneel infront of the altar
Yeah im as fucking ugly neck beard as some roastie is. OP's a fucking clambeard that fucking mess of pubic hairs looks like a ratking nestled together at the tail and has more crabs crawling around on it than it than a fishing boat from all the creepy fucks she puts out for and claims being a fembot since they don't stick around afterward.
I learned the term normie when I met OP
>The man on the altar speaks, but the voice is not human
>It is like a thousand whispers making a single, horrible chorus
>"YOU COME BEFORE THE RAT KING'S CRYPT. WHAT IS IT YOU DESIRE?"
>tease the leper
>pray at the alter
>The leper's moaning becomes more sensual.
>"about tree fiddy", I reply
>"YOUR WISH IS GRANTED"
>The leper's mouth opens and a hand emerges.
>The beast pulls itself forth.
>Trephidy, Menace of the Under, stands atop the altar, its three heads roaring at once
>In each of its nine hands it brandishes a jagged mace
>What do you do?
>seduce the Menace of the Udder with my potent hip movements
>hug Trephidy and sing the My Little Pony theme song
>Trephidy is pleased to have found a friend.
>You cuddle, and he slowly warms to you.
>Soon, you become fast friends.
>He gives you a mace and points down toward the western corridor
>What will you do?
>give Trephidy my farewells and exit to the western corridor
that my little pony shit scary
>You run tf away find standing behind you, a massive ogre with a single, haunting eye
>Trephidy wipes a tears from five of his eyes and waves back. He is so happy for the first time in millennia.
>You walk down the western corridor and find a small room.
>A stone casket rests at the center.
>The lid is inscribed with various runes
>What will you do?
>You open the casket to find a child's corpse staring at you, mangled by an unknown creature.
>In its hand is a mysterious looking stone, shaped like the sun.
>What do you do?
check my phone and see what time it is
>open the casket and attempt to make sense of the times and pronounce them in a chance
oops
>check my phone and see what time it is
>You see it is 9:00 PM and you should have been home for dinner an hour ago.
>Your mom is going to be pissed.
> What do you do?
>Your mother calls you.
>You pick up.
>She asks where you are.
>what do you say?
you forgot your name bruh bruh
>consult the council of cockroaches in your stomach what to do with the stone
>you approach a few niggers in a cotton field, picking to their hearts' contents, instead of the cockroaches because they are cockroaches and cannot speak.
>They say, "ooga booga!" you do not know how to decipher ebonics yet.
>Learn ebonics?
NO.
>Say "ooga booga" to your mother
You have heavily insulted your mother. You called her a fucking whore. who knew?
>say, "ooga booga welfare check ooga booga food stamps."