/self harm/

>self harm today or this week
yes
>how did you do it
went to work and got spattered by hot oil
>do you regret it
No, it's my job

Jokes aside i hate my job but force myself to go every morning so i guess that counts

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i haven't self-harmed in a long time and even covered the scars with tattoos, but the urge never disappear

Does purposely drinking and doing drugs to excess count?

Cause I do that everyday.

Also sometimes whip my back with a belt.

>self harm today or this week
Ye
>how did you do it
I have schizophrenia and an illusion told me to kms, so at that point i was like:" Lmao,kay" and i took a knife and slit my wrist down the road 3 times till i realised wtf am i doing niggy. Patched myself up and im fine.
>do you regret it
Fuck yeah i do, i have to wear long ass clothes to cover that shit, and if someone sees the scars it will be really awkward.

when I was a reallllly young child id pinch and bite myself.
I get delusions and im scared ill do same as this....

Slit my thighs and felt so relieved after

It makes the person feel better by triggering a biological response: endorphin release
That's why it becomes an addictive behaviour

>endorphin release
I dont consciously get this effect, I just like to hurt myself.

I haven't self harmed in a long time. It used to make me feel happy and relaxed when I was a teenager but last time I tried it didn't work.

It's like that stage of growing up when you realize you don't like playing with toys anymore. What's next? Alcohol?

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First time in a while. Only had a stanley blade which wasn't as sharp as I would've liked.
>Thought "why do these attention whores always cut their arms"
>Slice 3 eh not very deep cuts onto thigh
>Not that great, a small adrenaline rush
>Wake up and walk with jeans on the next day
>At work every time I walk my jeans rip open the wounds

Yeah fuck this it's not for me

Lads atleast post gore of your selfharm or fuck off

I don't understand self harm. I'm not trying to invalidate your thoughts and feelings, I just don't get it. I ran a knife against my skin, felt no temptation. Tried burning, just yanked my hand out unfortunately, it kinda stings I guess? Don't get it. Banged my hand against the wall, regretted it. I'm sorry if I sound dumb, but could you please explain the feeling that drives you to self harm? It's fascinating to me.

yeah yesterday, after a really bad day of verbal abuse from my mom

>>self harm today or this week
Yea
>>how did you do it
removed new pencil sharpeners blade and used to cut.

>>do you regret it
yeah, my mom saw it and i was embarrased

>mfw she didnt even care tho lol

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am clueless as you but ig i have to guess its bc they think they are worthless and need to be punished ?

i might be completely wrong but i cut my hand made big scar when i did it i felt nothing though it was deep i think i felt at peace? dont remember but i did it bc other emo niggas did it basically i did it bc am a npc who just do what people do

Well, I guess I understand the rationalization, but I want to be able to understand the *feeling*, the temptation. I mean, I hate myself and think I deserve to suffer and all that, but I can't feel any pull to self harm.

i think i know why i think harming your self is a stress relief like drugs and stuff relief from life when i did it felt nothing nor physical nor mental pain when i cutted my self deeply i might have to say to cope if you dont have a reason nor ''temptation'' means i guess your life aint that fucked up

I mean, a genuine suicide attempt that only I know of seems kind of fucked to me, but maybe suicidal urges are overdramatized. Also, sorry for hijacking your thread harmfags.

yes my g! fellow chef here but relatively new, when the oil splaters on you its great innit

nuh senpai its always fun to talk to open people liek you not those ''hahahahahahaah emo hahahaha kys faggots''

u never got so angry that u just wanted to take the next sharp object and stab urself with it?

Hah, not sure why you'd call me open, but I'm curious about this and always have been. Hope I'll be able to understand one day, but hopefully not by sharing the behaviour.

Not really? I had outbursts when I was younger, but they were always external, I directed my anger towards others. The worst I get right now still doesn't make me want to hurt, I only imagine how I'd kill/torture/beat someone else. Could you describe that feeling to me, if it's not too difficult? Preferably in more physical than mental/philosophical terms. I just don't understand.

>Lads atleast post gore of your selfharm or fuck off
not attention whoring, just talking about our cuts.
I like cutting graffiti letters into myself.
>could you please explain the feeling that drives you to self harm?
I dont get pleasure or a rush I just like hurting myself as I feel like im trash.

Microwave food won't give you cancer, you should be more worried about cardiovascular disease and nutrient deficiency.

Hm, I suppose I get that on some level. Most descriptions of cutting tend to put emphasis on relief and/or pleasure, which is what fascinates me. What makes you not kill yourself instead? Not trying to insult you, I just want to know, since that's my first resort. How do you feel before you get through the skin? How do you not pull away because of the pain? What makes you stop? How do you feel after?

I'm sorry for all my stupid and needlessly personal questions. No need to answer, I'm mostly just selfishly curious. I can't tell if talking about this would make someone uncomfortable, so I apologize if that's the case.

How many of you are women? I usually don't see many males who are selfharmers.
I do it from time to time. It's either alcohol or that for me. My thighs and arms are completely covered with scars. Looks retarded but I like it and it's not like anybody else will ever see them. I do it for the blood and the scars mostly. One time I had to get stitches in the hospital which was retarded and embarrassing.

I used to get yelled at whenever I acted out or displayed any feelings so I reckon this is why I don't get into fights or throw shit around. When I get pissed I get the urge to stab or punch some cunt and usually that's me. When I get sad I just want to punish or destroy myself. It's like pressure is building up internally and you have no idea what to do with it. If you don't act you're going to explode or kill someone - either yourself or someone else. I don't want to go to prison and I don't want to an hero when I'm distressed.

I hacked at my arm with some scissors when I was tripping on acid a few weeks ago. Bled pretty bad.

I like myself mostly.

The only reason I cut myself is for those really comfy feelings that come afterwards. Maybe I'm just so dopamine deficient in my everyday life that it seems like a bigger deal though.

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my xp is the reason we hurt our selfs IS to not kill ourselfs its a way to keep us away from killing ourself when i cut my self i dont feel pain i feel nothing after

So it's a form of stress/anger relief, basically? And the act in itself isn't stressful to you? How does cutting compare to symbolically harming yourself, like beating yourself with your fists, or other forms of stress relief? Does the satisfaction come during or after the harm?

I really appreciated that, thanks.

You say "comfy" feelings. Isn't pain antithesis to comfort? Many people describe an adrenaline rush, but the closest thing I have to compare your description with is an orgasm. Is it anything like that?

Smoke some weed senpai.

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I describe it as an "organic mood leveler"

When you suffer from mental illness you're usually all over the place with your emotions, switching from really happy, to depressed, to furiously angry at yourself or others etc. This leads to the feeling that you have no control over yourself and can make you feel completely hopeless.

But when you self harm, your emotions "reset", the dopamine it releases levels you out and brings you back to neutral. So this leads to the obvious addiction factor where, whenever you start to feel negative emotion, you go straight to hurting yourself.

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i don't know when i get really angry and start sperging out i just take my pocket knife and start slashing away sometimes. I also used to pull out my hair or punch against the wall. But fortunately i haven't had an explosion like that in a while now.

I mean i also destroy stuff around me but i always regret it instantly and start turning anger against myself.

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>Isn't pain antithesis to comfort

pretty much thisself harm serves as a distraction and also releases feel good chemicals which lead to you feeling very relaxed, especially after a meltdown which is typically how people start self harming in the first place

I suppose that makes sense, yeah. I can very much relate to the need for control and stability and understand how self-harm might bring that. Thank you for the clear explanation.

Many thanks, I think I get how you might feel now.

Thanks for the explanations people. Although I might be bad at expressing it, I think it really helped me relate to you. I could never really feel what you feel, but I have a better understanding of it now. I know it might have been uncomfortable to answer, so I doubly appreciate the responses I've gotten. Apologies if I drowned out or blocked room for more interesting discussion.

I honestly wish I could beat shit to shreds but I'm always paranoid my neighbours will hear me.

The act itself is not distressing to me and I never thought of it as such. Blood and leaving permanent scars is really important to me so there isn't much else I can do. Sometimes I drink or take too much of my meds to go to sleep but that doesn't leave marks. I feel satisfied during and after.

Wouldn't it be hot to have a gf that would cut you when you're cutting her?

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pretty much im a weird cunt among weird cunts.
I like how fucked I look cut up.
I am still new and learning to cut but I scar mad easy so im hoping I will not run out of room to write on myself.

male here
I dont get comfy feels after.
yeah man would be hot, I have a fetish of a girl drinking my blood.

>I have a fetish of a girl drinking my blood
I have a fetish of drinking a girl's blood.

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you should cut off your earlobe

Well.
I the same, i used to be worse, like chewing and biting hard all round the fingers, especially my right thumb and point finger.
I don't do that anymore but i still go hard on cuticles.
I swallow the skin, it doesn't taste bad at all.
Since i stopped biting my nails I don't get tummy aches anymore.
Never had an infection, even though bleeding is a daily thing.
I regret doing it but.
I ought to destroy myself.
Dad doesn't give a shit about it anymore, glad I don't cut or worse, he would be really pissed if i did.
I think this behaviour kinda stunted my finger length growth. Or it's just genetics.

its OCD man I have to ignore it.
I dont mind either way, I just want to be with a woman as close as can be and drink blood.

yes

at work, broke a plastic fork to make it sharp, quickly stab my self and drag the sharp plastic down my arm

no, it felt good and gave me the energy to get through the workday.

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