Being in jail is the ultimate comfy life trick. They serve you free food and you can sleep all the time you want without feeling a burden to others. As a neutral good character I am roling in this life, which crime could I do to get jailed for a good amount of time?
P.S. I don't mind if I get raped sometimes
no internet in jail
same goes for a mental hospital. just rob a bank unsuccessfully and tell a shrink that you wanted to be committed as a psychopath so that you can get free food and sleep all the time. Throw in some shit about "the normals" and tendies, and you might have a shot
Go to Norwegian jail. This cell is comfier than my college dorm.
> obviously hasn't been to jail before
You'll meet mentally ill women in hospital. Trust me it's not worth it
>tfw you can't live there cause you are not a harmful person
>being in jail with a comfy bed
>no roasties around you
>can read all the books you want all the time you want
>relatives don't think you are a lazy NEET, you are now a man facing his own responsibility
This. OP has no clue how horrible jail is.
>Doesn't mind getting rapped
Lel wtf so you admit to wanting cock? In your ass? Are you gay or something?
since u think its so good why dont u try going to one. just do some stupid crime like steal, if u get away with it you get free stuff, if not u go to jail. win win right.
then come back and tell us how the experience was
I said I don't mind If I get raped sometimes
>empty desk and shelves
Can you bring your own stuff?
But you can get a mentally ill gf, right?
Yes, but you dont get internet access there so get a older model of gaming console and you`re golden.
Full of retrogaming geeks in jails
Rape isn't even the worst part about prison since it's unlikely to happen if you don't walk around like a faggot or accrue debts with other prisoners. You're a fuckin retard if you think that hell on earth is comfy. I've been. It's not a fun place to be. Say goodbye to literally everything you enjoy in life because they're taking it from you.
tax evasion
Only if you have money
>forced to to 26x10 hours labour each month
>get paid 90 cents an hour
>have to pay extra for acceptable food
You're pretty dumb OP if you think of "free food" and "can sleep all the time" and I live in a country with "humane penitentiary". Sure jail has single cells, and the guards are polite but you can do much better outside.
Don't risk it user. You could end up in a prison like this. Imagine trying to sleep next to that many people?
The USA is an unusual country in the sense that 3% of adults is under correctional supervision.
The only other "country" that is worse is North Korea with 20%.
I just made this thread and now I see this. Really?
Jail in America doesn't have single cells and the guards aren't nice. Imagine living in a cell alone and then all the sudden, they assign someone who's out of their mind to be your cell mate. Now you have to sleep with one eye open because you don't know what this guy is capable of. Remember that you also have to hold your cell mate down in whatever situation they get into. Reminder that whatever your cell mate does, you're going to to be associated with because you're not beating his ass and actively trying to get switched.
This thread desu desu
this looks better than the room i live in for fucks sake
You have to work in slave lanor conditions to be able to afford toilet paper and toothbrushes and the food they give you is worse than shit. This is true in America not sure where you are from .
Haha, jokes on them I dont have anything I enjoy in life
OP thinks jail is a calm relaxing place where you can just choose to exclude yourself from the outside world
in reality it's basically a slave labor camp with a hierarchy based on physical power. you would get eaten
There are plenty of ex inmate youtube channels that will tell you that's the opposite. you're shitposting tho
I would get a ticket to Norway
At the airport find a minority couple with a baby
Preferably with an infant
Grab the kid and throw it on the floor as hard as you can
Then jump and down on it until it "pops"
Long jail sentence
Probably the best jail system in the world, great food, internet access, nicer room than you probably have now, no cellmate
Almost no niggers
So getting raped is almost non-existent
If you want the worst conditions go to Alabama or Mississippi do the same to a Negro infant
Worst jails in the US, worst food, no A/C in the summer, life in prison, no programs, 2 cellmates, white trash but mostly Negro, expect rape daily and to regularly get beaten up and stabbed
aren't you like turned into a slave in jail and paid like pennies per hour all while you constantly have to worry about being raped or shanked
I'll bite the bait
I've been to the jail once
>They serve you free food
Yeah, and it tastes like shit
>you can sleep all time you want without feeling a burden to others
No, you can't.
Besides the rape, American prisons are shitty
Go to some Scandanavian country, do some crime, and go to a legit comfy Scandanavian hotel prison
You have a lot of things you enjoy that you take for granted. Sleeping as long a sleep you want, going to get a meal when you're hungry, driving, walking, taking a shit in private, showering in private, taking as long as you want in the shower, masturbating, feeling relatively safe. People don't realize how good they got it until they're locked up somewhere.
If you kill a child every inmate would like to beat you, there's some sort of "code of honor" involving hate against pedos and those who harm children
I 100% agree with you about jail being comfy as fuck, and can confirm from experience
Just don't commit any crime too serious otherwise you will end up in max security, which isn't comfy at all from what I've been told. The best way is to steal a car and deliberately get caught, that's what landed me my biggest sentence though getting caught wasn't deliberate with me. You will get a nice comfy sentence for it but won't end up in max security with murderers, rapists and psychos so you're unlikely to get stabbed or raped
>food tastes like shit
OP's gonna REEE at those jailcook if they don't serve him his tendies
The food in britfag prisons is actually pretty good. It isn't restaurant quality but if you can't cook for shit it will be better than any meal you can make yourself