25+ thread 20+ allowed

It's 3:45 AM

Going to bed early, relatively speaking.

>tfw I will never contribute to the further development and understanding of math and science. I will never even be able to understand it.
>tfw I will never contribute to the moulding of plastics and metals into parts necessary to build great machines like computers and those found in factories for everyone to use. I won't even get to build the plastic toys for kids to play with to inspire them to be something when they grow up.
>tfw I will never build structures, tall and firm, keeping its residences warm and cozy.

>tfw I am but a mere earthling reaping the fruit of everyone's hard mental and physical work
>tfw I won't contribute anything of value to society.
>tfw I am too much of a brainlet to understand anything that could make myself useful

28. Work retail, mostly cashier. Whenever a cute girl is paying, I get nervous and avoid eye contact.

Thinking about going to university again, unfortunately my only interest is in history and learning a new language, but I'll work part-time, luckily university in my country isn't that expensive. I also want to live abroad for a while, so studying abroad for a while will be a good opportunity.

Good job user, 29 here at my 2nd attempt. Got fucked up in a work accident so I'm trying my damnedest to make it work this time. What's your major? I started as geology but am switching to IT. This semesters been real fucking hard on my health.

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i used to trip on r9k a few years ago and became good friends with a guy who was surviving on about $30 a month for food. i was in a similar situation, which is how we got talking. we'd share recipes for the ultra broke. i often wonder if he's ok, since one day he went silent. i hope he's doing well now and isn't dead.

>3:45 AM
>early
I shouln't be able to relate to this
But I prefer going to bed and waking up late because I prefer nighttime

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genetics geared towards bioinformatics/pre-med although i don't have any hopes of actually getting to do medicine even though i wagecuck in a hospital since i fucked up so many times.

how did your work accident fuck you up?

I'm working through Zeta Gundam and there's so many messages about being a proper man in there and I just feel like I'm not living up to my potential. I want to be Char.

I fucked some of the discs in my spine moving something heavy in a factory. Can't do that kind of work anymore. Just takes one wrong move to fuck you up. Medicine seems like a really hard field to go into. Geology made me feel like a brainlet. I take to everything IT a lot easier.

My 25th birthday is at 1:35AM tomorrow. I'm currently a NEET with no ambition or social contacts. What are the next 25 looking like for me?

Also, how should I celebrate my birthday? I usually just ignore it but 25 feels significant. I want to feel cozy and loved.

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get char'd on my grill you zeta bitch

Got any friends you can have over? I always invite everyone over and we get high and do a LAN party.

When I had my 25th birthday, I ended up celebrating with grocery store sushi and some cider. Didn't have anyone else to be with mine.
The food and alcohol part is something at least if you have nobody around.

yeah it's hard to get into and i doubt i'll make it and probably kms but that's for later
geology is likely academia only anyways so it's good you switched

youtube.com/watch?v=3VhU6jJ1PJQ
Have a song.
I miss Ebola-Chan so much.

No, I dont. Haven't had friends since college. I am probably just going to get high and try to find a game to play. LAN parties were fun as hell back in the day, though.

26 and i'm getting worse everyday. thought kafka metamorphis was dumb when i was a kid, jokes on me now.

i used to look like this 3 years ago and now i'm 90lbs bigger.

2015 - 2018 has been so fucking phenomenally shit for my mental and physical health, does it feel for anybody else like the world is just ending?

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Academia or hyper competitive big oil jobs, probably would have fucking hated it either way and it would be nothing like my dreams of wearing cool hats in the woods collecting rocks lmao.

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mid 20s femanon. i was told attending college and working at the same time would help my mental health, but im still as miserable as ever and i wish i was dead. probably gonna spend tonight getting drunk by myself, playing vidya, and wallowing in self-hatred

That's a good idea. I get spicy sushi at my store on occasion so maybe I'll pick some up tomorrow. What sort of cider do you drink? I drink rarely but wouldn't mind trying something new.
Thanks for the song, I like it. Ebola-chan and winter-chan are my favorite characters that have come from here.

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yeah mate it does sometimes
some music for that feel
youtube.com/watch?v=F7NM8d-p5Qg

>2015 - 2018 has been so fucking phenomenally shit for my mental and physical health
same here

>lose my job
>fail out of grad school
>gain tons of weight because I was drinking my problems away and had to move back into a stressful home with mummy and daddy

No family to celebrate with? Oriig

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I was so into it. When chipotle had that fucking ecoli mess happening the cashier told me about it but he accidentally called it ebola and I got so excited, I told him if we got it we would get golden eyes and become so much stronger. Some roastie salsa scooper asked him wtf we were talking about and he told her to shut up.

I mean if it's your brain chemistry that's fucked up then you might need to see a professional about it. If you find a magic cure though then let me know. Self hatred is my speciality.

i have been seeing a counselor for several years now and been attending a weekly therapy class. i keep telling myself and my family that im doing better, but deep down i kinda regret not going through with my suicide attempt back in 2014

I just turned 23 and had another existential crisis. It's weird to think I fucked up my teens and most of my early 20s now since Im a fucking friendless khhv.

Why is Gen X so dumb? They believe Millennials didn't learn things like cursive or reading comprehension just because their meme news stories say so.

Same boat buddy

Relateable. I got diagnosed with bipolar earlier this year and am on a big dosage of meds that make me a person I don't even know anymore. I'm hoping things get better for you user.

fuck you, im 19 and am posting here.

Bipolar also, not medicated. Gave up on that helping anything long ago.

>20+ allowed
I'm 18, sup fellas
>49910279
hell yeah brother

fuck forgot the extra > big apology from me mates

High five dude. I found out i have mild borderline on top of my other mental health issues and i feel like a monster. Idk why people like to pretend bpd is cute. I cant keep a stable relationship and im impulsive as shit. Im scared of getting close to people bc i feel like ill just ruin things yknow? Im sure you can probs relate

friggin kids get off my lawn

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happy holidays robots, let me recap the entire month so far

>3rd-7th
work during the day, drink and sit on the couch in the evening
>weekend
play vidya, try and pretend like it's fun/engaging
>10th-14th
work during the day, drink and sit on the couch in the evening
>weekend
play vidya, hate myself
>today
work during the day, currently drinking and sitting on the couch

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Thanks for the update bud

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make us, boomer

wagecucking never helps your mental health stop seeing whoever told you to do this

It's been ass bud. Maybe things will look up after the world ends with this coming market crash... But I'm not counting on it

im gonna unleash the fury

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>tfw you're really jealous of these kids because of their youth
>tfw I turn 30 next year

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It is not too late. Understanding math and science concepts can come with hard work and dedication. Make a plan. Make it happen. We can do it. Aim for the moon and if you miss you will die much sooner and happier than not trying at all.

You gonna try and fix it? I think I'm gonna go to the doctor soon and get anti anxiety meds

My sleep schedule goes from 5pm to 1am, feels pretty good to wake up and have the whole early morning ahead of you

Will buying a Nintendo Switch, and getting Smash Bros Ultimate fix my problems?

Pretty sure I celebrated my 25th alone
If not, I probably got fucked up with my old roommates, which was nice because they were cool guys. And they wouldn't have known it was my borthday because I keep that to myself and have no social media.
In either case, solitary birthdays can be nice if you like being alone.
Treat yourself to a nice meal, nice drink, and comfy night.
Thanks for saying you're a woman
You should post tits
And then, of course
get
the fuck
out.

i've been here 7 years and the misogyny never affected me but this last month or so i've really been hating the shit out of these fucking cunts

Also, birthdays are meaningless aside from being an excuse to indulge in your vices and shit in excess

>klonopin, phenibut and kratom withdrawals all at the same time

oof, this is gonna be a fun week

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Doin good, coming here less and less, slowly but surely crawling to normiedom.

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>but this last month or so i've really been hating the shit out of these fucking cunts
youtube.com/watch?v=jZ6nF6JKtRc

21 here
Im good friend just got 5000 worth of new furniture for my new condo. Having a hard time at my bank so I will be moving it into a new one

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I turn 20 in a week, am I allowed?

I'm broken down in a shitty town in Indiana, drinking in a WalMart parking lot.

It's hard man but I think it's worth keeping hopeful that maybe some better treatment will come along. Shame it'd rare and companies make heaps of money out of us.

Yeah I've had similar things with any relationship. i sabotage them when I'm depressive and then get lovey Dovey in a hypomania.

>be late 27
>move out of Florida, cut ties with family to go to Texas for job
>end up dislocating my left kneecap on the job, go back to work the next day
>get fired from job in October due to bullshit
>get new job in November, have to move to Oklahoma now
>on my way to travel up to Oklahoma, a semi goes perpinduclar and jack knifes on the highway at 0400 and I hit it
>total my car, hurt my left wrist and right knee
>can't sue because apparently it was another semis fault, who nobody knows what the semi is
>police report is all fucked up
> broke my phone, lost my glasses in the crash, car was filled with dirt and shit from the fire department, so I couldn't retrieve all of my shit from my car
>missed two weeks of work, spent a week in bed due to pain
>it's a month later and my knee is still numb/can't put weight on it and my wrist still hurts
I wish I had died in that fucking crash. I hate this life.

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I'm 27 and just completely numb, completely.

Everyone my age is a total NPC. All my friends went off and got boring jobs and live with their girlfriends or wives. They're getting fat and bald, I've fallen out of touch with them.

I have dreams of making music and YouTube videos, but feel like I'm too fucking old and that Im expected to stick with my white collar gig. I wanna KMS fr. I can't feel anymore.

ill be 27 in 2 months, live with family, no place of my own. and im a balding manlet with no gf

at least i avoided wizardry

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Same boat. Sort of coming to accept things I guess. I'm normie tier by r9k standards, f2f but no friends. I just threw all my dreams away and am just accepting my new dream is to get a house and car both fully paid off. I want to retire and not do shit

I'll allow it if you say something interesting

the universe is testing you, own up and fuck it

Your newborn peepee touching your moms vagene does not matter.

>live with family
Best to start saving up and buy a flat without loans and shit.

I'm a huge dumb fuck. Been starved for affection and sex for so long I went to see an escort. Having someone do a convincing job of showing interest and attraction in me, actually listening to what I had to say, it opened a floodgate of emotions, both positive and negative, and now I'm fixated on her. It's so dumb, it was the closest thing to real intimacy I've ever felt and made me feel happy in ways I hadn't experienced before. But, I know it's not real, she has no interest in me, and it's probably just a chore for her to be around me, and these thoughts throw me into despair because it's so in conflict with the pure joy I felt in those moments.

The weirdest part is, I know she has a boyfriend, but I also know he has a past of being physically abusive to past partners. I don't know if he does it to her, but all this shit is really fucking with my head and I can't stop myself from continuing to see her. Don't know what to do.

Start fucking a different escort instead of that one.
Repeat weekly, until you realize that women are objects and your emotional connection to that one was a chemical response in your brain, and it isn't special.

>just found out my high school bully got divorced after about a year
>his ex is already in a relationship
>his life is in shambles, never accomplished anything he lorded over me
He was always telling me he was smarter and would be more successful than me too. Who's the dumb one now, fgt

Waiting to get paid, resisting the urge to lurk too much tonight, stay up too late, buy beers, consume said beers, eat junk food, smoke too much weed, basically overload my body with narcotic experiences to pass my day off from work.

Chatting with a qt 3.14 at the moment though. My books are decent and there are some decent videos to watch. My water intake is solid, I haven't touched any soda today, I've had too much caffeine but that's alright, and I finished my workouts for the day. Gotta run out soon to get rent money and a couple things from the store, exercising my will to not buy alcohol in the process. Feeling pretty relaxed, a little stoned, my stomach is a roil from the caffeine but I'll just keep drinking water. All in all, life could be a whole lot worse. Typing out these present reflections has also helped calmed me down, so thanks OP.

I'm 26 years old, by the way.

I've accepted the fact that I'm not going to have a family of my own. In another year I'll be the same age as my dad was when I was born. I don't even know if I want those things, but knowing that I can't have them... I'm not going to turn it all around all of the sudden and become somebody desirable and capable of supporting and caring for a family. I have cousins that are my age and they're married and have children and careers and lives and I can't even stand to be around them any more. It's like having your face pressed against the glass while you look on at the life you can never have.

May 18, 2020 is when I'll be the exact age of my father down to the day that he was when I was born. Kinda spooky to think that's only a little less than 2 years away.

Your acceptance is key to something, I feel, user. It's in letting go that we find ourselves. Maybe when you stop dangling so many expectations over your own head and what you think your life "ought to be" at this point you'll awaken to a deeper, truer part of you. I think a lot of people "find themselves" when they reach and pass a major crisis point in their life. I think your surrender signals you've passed that point, and you can only move forward. Or so I truly hope. Best of luck, dude.

>lowering the bar to twenty
Fuck off it's 30 plus now.

Do you usually start up conversations with old friends when you feel better?

Absolutely finish school. It will enliven your life and give you a sense of purpose and community. If for that at the very least you should do it. It also just looks better to said cute girls, mate.

>turning 28 in less than a week
I have no idea where the fuck my 20s went
30 seems like such a huge thing what the fuck yo, getting old feels so real

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'll never have kids. I don't feel like shit thinking about it anymore.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY user!

Originalorignal

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I was going to make a thread but maybe you guys will have some idea. I am 25, I just moved back with my parents like 5 months ago after wageslaving for 5 years and going to school for 4 (they overlapped)

How the FUCK do people actually enjoy working? Right now I've been basically NEET for 5 months, making a very small amount of money by doing random freelance programming stuff; it's very comfy, low stress, and all I buy is food and gym membership ($10/month) so I can live like this since I don't pay rent... I'm thinking it's one of these factors:

>Their regular life is boring and unfulfilled, and they lack any sense of real purpose, but wageslaving provides them one

>They lie to themselves ("I like my job though!") and actually believe it, as a coping mechanism (comfortable lie vs. inconvenient truth) and really just want the money to buy stuff

>They have been socially conditioned into thinking their wageslavery is equivalent to "contributing to society" (or couldn't imagine a way to contribute otherwise) and thus feel like NEETdom is shameful

>They enjoy the social status their prestigious "career" gives them, and think it makes them interesting

The most blackpilled possibility:
>They truly and legitimately enjoy the work, and we are just broken and are incapable of doing so

If that last is actually true, I a more envious of these normies who can enjoy a "career" than any 6'4 chiseled 10/10 chad who has women fawning all over him.

This is an interesting post because it doesn't have the same bitterness as most NEET-posts, so I'll bite. I think to some degree you're right, it's important for people to leave the nest and that can give one a perhaps false sense of "purpose" in their life. But at the same time, it's hard to argue with that mentality. If life as we deem it in our day-to-day complexity is meaningless at heart, maybe all we were meant to do as humans was survive self-sufficiently? There has to be some reason why I dread the prospect of being broke and homeless and needing to stay with my parents, although my view may be biased because they live a couple hours away from me.

It's okay to like your job if you're a wageslave, a lot of people are in touch with the essential fact that work is work and it can be therapeutic to the mind if one simply puts all their attention and focus into work as they do it. It's a form of meditation, if you will. Of course they want money to buy stuff, and that's probably the primary egoistic intent of getting a job, but spiritually it can mean something quite different, quite purer. There's a virtue in hard work and it alleviates stress and being lost in anxious thought.

Wageslavery of course isn't contributing to society, at least for the most part. It's usually contributing to private corporations, the entire concept of it being "slavery" probably stems from the somewhat pragmatic way minimum-wage employers view their employees; i.e., they're just a means to the bottom line that is the company's profit and expansion. A career is usually more oriented towards finding a true calling, however, and if you work something passionately, in a way you're contributing to the well-being of humanity by doing what you love, even if it isn't for some higher social cause.

tl;dr: Basically I'll just back up what you're saying about this "blackpilled possibility." You're onto something when you say "they just enjoy it."

I guess it's 1-3 for me

>work on FOSS
>project is in science field, feels like it's worthwhile
>make my own hours
>office is quiet and low population

Given the choice I'd probably still not work, or at least cut my commitment and work from home, but I'd say I don't mind my job so much. I'm not intrinsically motivated, and I'm too lazy/stupid to actually have my own real hobbies. I'd just be vegetating without something I don't have to do everything on my own to actually do something. For a lot of people I'm sure they'd be able to have actual interests but after an 8h work day and raising children and shit there is simply no time.
I don't think life is some grand adventure, we're all just animals surviving that got really good at surviving

>29
>Had sex a few times last year, also lost vcard last year. Nothing aside from a few escort visits since October last year
>Job is pretty good but not enough to move out unless it's a shoebox/outside of the city or a sharehouse
>Thinking of visiting Europe next year for my 30th a gift from myself
>Slowly improving in areas
>Spent most of today reading the Jow Forums tower read and playing X4

For me, I'm 31 back at uni with a mortgage I can't afford.

The thing is that I did "leave the nest" and live alone, paid my rent, did all of those things without anyone's help. Now I live with my parents and even though I would prefer to live alone, it's not worth the pain and suffering of having to give up 1/2 of my waking days (8 hours work, 8 hours free time, 8 hour sleep) to sit in some office and toil away endlessly.

I smoke tobacco in secret, out my window, it's annoying. I don't do any drugs anymore like I used to. I gave up a lot of things, a lot of joys, just to go to this mostly NEET existence... but still, I prefer it this way. People tell me I'll get tired of it, but it has been almost half of a year and I still haven't. I get calls from employers and recruitment agencies, I ignore them.

I went to a top ranked uni and pretty much have work experience the entire time I have been out of uni... I still do occasional work from my old job, they email me updates so I can put just "working part time" on my resume if I wanted. I'm certainly not unemployable, I just really feel an extremely strong compulsion to avoid going back to that life at all costs. It's really only preferable to starving & being homeless. I feel like I'm wasting my life away with some "career" but other people claim they feel the opposite by not having a job.

>>work on FOSS
>>make my own hours

How did you get a job doing that? How do you make money with free software?

I ask because 9-5 is terrible for me, I'm nocturnal and I can't find a coding job for the life of me that isn't 9-5. I'd prefer to work 2pm-10pm if I have to do 8 hours

>become wizard in less than a year
>been living completely alone for years
>only problem in my life is that my job really sucks and I don't know how much longer i can stand it

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>How the FUCK do people actually enjoy working
It's a matter of being ok doing something for 8 hours for compensation (money/+benefits).I wouldn't do what I do (data analysis) for free but I get paid and I'd rather not be one of those homeless neets who thought 5 years of neeting was worth throwing away their 30's/40's/50's/60's

Change it. Receive education if you don't have it already or pursue other careers if you have the paper. You'll either reach a point where you become enlightened to what you must do to improve your life or you'll go all the way down and bottom out for awhile. The sooner you start making changes in your life, taking action, you'll feel better, or so I hope.

well.. I guess I'll search for a job today some more.
25 y/o dropout at dead end jobs.

Yeah I make an effort to talk to them again when things chill out. It's getting a bit hard lately but it really brings me back to a more normal headspace. I probably need to stop going on here but I find it hard.

i did that for years. now i make a fraction of what i made [freelancing], but i'm living with my parents and i prefer this life.

some people try to get me to get a 'real job' and they start asking me "what kind of job do you wan't?" some people say "you have to love your job" or "pick a career that interests you" etc.

they claim to ACTUALLY ENJOY it.

what you are doing is selling your labor. would you quit doing that and dig holes in the ground with a shovel 8hrs a day if they paid you twice as much?