Depression darkness doom

How do you feel tortured? Is it a general feeling or is something wrong?

Underage thread

this, what's caused it?

What do you want to keep ur mind off?

Am I late bois?
It's already 2019 and I want to kill myself.

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Ooga booga go back to your nigger cave ooga booga.

You are not depressed, you are a lazy fuck

thank you user i really appreciate u talking to me...how r u?

i cant handle life as everyone is my enemy and tries to bring me down and i cant even take a break because im gonna die of starvation

I used to be able to do stuff for fun (like vidya) to kind of "load my batteries" and be able to keep on doing things. But then the batteries got damaged. Stuff that I used to enjoy only managed to keep "the thoughts" at bay as long as I was doing it. Lately, even this form of distraction starts to fail and "the thoughts" creep on me while I am doing things I used to enjoy. Does this count as depression?
In middle school, I visited a psychological counselling centre and was supposed to go for counselling sessions for a time, but I gave up because the psychologist I was admitted to was obese and I viewed obesity as a sign of high probability of mental weakness (not being certain because there are some cases of physical illnesses causing obesity). Nowadays I don't see myself opening to anyone and going to a therapist is way beyond my reach.

I know this feel. I still have a little left in my bottle. Fuck it Im gonna drink it now.

I'm a down bipolar episode and its lasting too long. They aren't usually around for 2 weeks.

I always had vidya and anime to keep me somewhat entertained. In the last two years I completely lost interest in the first and pretty much stopped watching the latter aswell. I can't even fap anymore because I get distracted by thoughts all the time and go flaccid right after, kek. So far watching youtube 12 hours a day does a decent job at distracting me. I just want it to end, either by itself or by ending myself.

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Exactly the kind of thread I was looking for.
Fellas, how do you kill yourself in a way that really matters? My ex who i lost my virginity to and who made my entire life worth living finally broke up with me even after Ive said shes the only reason I havent killed myself. I think one of the more hardcore ways to go would be stabbing myself in the throat with my ol rusty knife. But that shit hurts and I may half-ass it and just end up making myself retarded.

not even enjoying sex

>kill yourself in a way that really matters?
You misunderstand the point of suicide, which is fundamentally (not to criticise or anything) based on egotism. The neatest suicide is the self-absorbed one. The more you concern yourself with other people, the less elegant and "clean" the suicide. You end up with lengthy suicide notes and farewell letters that are seldom read and even less understood, overly elaborate suicide methods that don't quite work, 11th hour cries for help, etc.

If you are going to die, do it quickly, efficiently, and painlessly. Leave a short note, and then exit. Let it be a release.

Yeah I see your point, but I also want to make a horrid scene and make people feel really fucking guilty. Problem is its easier said than done.

>I also want to make a horrid scene and make people feel really fucking guilty
Again, that's the problem. The more you want your suicide to "send a message" and "get back at them" the less effective or easy it is. If you really want to get back at them, get a gun, kill them, and then kill yourself. Trying to stylise your suicide seldom works, especially if it's over a girl who broke up with you. A woman who isn't in love with you, and who has actually broken up with you (which normally requires months of slowly withdrawing from the relationship in the first place) is normally so cold she'd happily tread over your grave for the rest of her life.

user, revenge suicide is not a way to go. She left you. It's her right to. You blackmailing her emotionally with suicide was already a dick move. Don't go fucking shit up for her further. If she at least had done something bad to you (cheated, abused etc.) then it would be at least somewhat justified but this? user, plz rethink your actions.
As far as I agree with you, in general, there are cases where suicide can be used as a message in some cases, see for example self-immolation of Buddhist monks or seppuku.

Fuck you paragon boy, go be a nigger somewhere else. Idgaf about morality and anyone who does is a fucking idiot. Ive been cursed with lack of empathy. What god would do that to me and then blame me for it? I need her to live.

Fine then. Kill yourself. You are trash and blaming everyone around you. You might need her, but she doesn't need you.

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Shes fucking nothing without me either. If I killed myself Id ruin her forever. She would never be the same. She would always remember.

But by all means, being a fucking fatass white knight beta bitch weeaboo on an imageboard seems to have worked SO well for you this far. Keep it up faggot. Atleast Ill die knowing how insignificant and pathetic you are, and always will be.

>Shes fucking nothing without me either
Except she already fucking left you, m8. She would probably be hurt either way. Feel guilt for some time. But in time she would come to terms with it. And one day it would simply be a memory from so long time ago that she wouldn't even feel remorseful about it. You already in her past, just trying to leave a bigger mark. You are not important enough for her to be haunted by it for the rest of her life. You are not her child. You are just an "abusive ex".
>seems to have worked SO well for you this far
I never said I'm not trash either but at least I don't have illusions of grandeur and hatred of people who want to live properly. Also, I would call you out on this if you were a woman too (blackmailing a spouse with self-harm is really more prevalent with females) so white knight doesn't really fit here.
>Ill die knowing how insignificant and pathetic you are
No, you will die in pain regretting the choice of making "a horrid scene".

She has no one but me.
Being self aware trash who wallows in self pity is not better than someone who has dropped all illusions of people being worth anything.
Bold of you to assume I wont cherish my death knowing I left a mark.

I'm on the downswing of a manic depressive episode

life sux

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>failing uni
>sleep schedule constantly loops
>pre transition tranny
>social anxiety
>no real skills or hobbies
>no motivation to do anything
>no friends or bf

doom is coming

And looks like either she doesn't need you or will find someone else.
If you assume that "people worth being anything" is an illusion then no matter what I would be it wouldn't be better but I don't believe in that. I believe that "worth" isn't binary. And even if overall I fall in the category of trash together with you, there are some aspects in which I am above you.
Humans are in the end animals. In agony of "horrid" suicide, you won't have the strength to think about "leaving a mark". This isn't a Hollywood movie, you won't go out with a monologue. Your mark will fade after time. Probably not a very long one too. Since people are not really remembered for how they died but for what they have done while they lived. You dying doesn't matter. If you discover something impactful. If you conquer great lands. If you create something that changed the world. If you changed society as we know it. That is what people remember. If you want to "leave a mark" then suicide is not a way to do it.

I wanna escape my room so I tried to find people online near me to be friends with but eventually they all just ghost me before we can hangout

>>no friends or bf
You'd better not be a femoid

>pre transition tranny
Nigga, learn to read. user is just a faggot.

im a mtf tranny and an ugly one at that. people get ashamed of being near me. wanna lock myself in forever

i envy this penguin

youtube.com/watch?v=zWH_9VRWn8Y

>Pray to God for help
>Literally pleading to the point of tears
>Nothing
>Get up, grab laptop, open Spotify
>Listen to music
>Feel better
thanks based humanity

I Never even had sex