May 4th, 2022

>May 4th, 2022
>it's Jow Forums's 5th birthday
>not that anyone using the board cares
>most notable anons have left
>Yuuka gave up on happy day general after many demoralizations from the thread being spammed to death by factions ranging from anti-anime to anti-gay, though some user tried to keep it up for several weeks, ultimately failing
>PD, CockEyes stopped visiting, two months and three months respectively, after the board became too much of a directionless shithole after Jow Forums, /b/, and /v/ were frozen times by staff for over a week
>Chile, Argentina drawfag anons dropped out after their respective drawthreads were washed away with the unending spam from Jow Forumsfags trying to forcibly colonize Jow Forums in some autistic operation to "retake" it
>Bumstead, Hong Kong, Tunisia, Singapore, aya, flandre, my+onihs, C⌬©⍟ℕυͳ, SHIT POST, Normie, Kek specialist, Duke, and even ssp and saudiburger and various other prolific posters bailed long before this point
>the bunker boards sit as an abandoned graveyard

>only chicanon remains

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>on the day beginning Jow Forums's 6th year, the board is a catalog of stale memes from other boards, rejected Jow Forums generals, low quality ecchi threads that barely get any replies, what are essentially feels generals, hunger games/risk spam, and some loose harkenings back to memes created on Jow Forums 4, 5 years prior
>there was some drawthread at one point, I think, but it burned fell apart after drawfags became disinterested and left for greener pastures
>there is no longer any sense of a unifying identity on Jow Forums, the board being fractured between newfriends taking after how they saw the defined types of posting on the board
>most of the current userbase doesn't even remember Cirno

>barely browsing, chicanon finds only a single thread notes that it's Jow Forums birthday
>entering, only finds a cabal several anons posting old Jow Forums memes, like Simon, leaf girl, alzheimer, Duke, Cirno, and telling the tales about old posters like Cockeyes
>most of these anons were not around when these things existed on Jow Forums, only basing their knowledge from screencaps they've seen, and hearsay from the ever-shrinking number of original Jow Forums posters
>some were complaining about the absolute state of Jow Forums, pining for the good old days they had never experiences
>"my god, this board has gone to shit. Look at how much shit"
>"Jow Forums was always shit, you fucking newfag. lurk more"
>seeing this, chicanon immediately reacts
>how could he let anything so incorrect like this slide?
>"fuck off an*Mefag"

>he had posted with a smug anime reaction, image after all
>before he hit 'Submit' on his original retort, he stopped himself
>"why the fuck am I still here?"
>hovering over the browser tab selection, he clicks the 'X'

sad

bad timeline

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>>most notable anons
What an oxymoron.

too green

>Giving a shit about tripfaggots

Your name is "Anonymous" yet you are notable

what level of autism is it to write this
hint: quiet high

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based

Look at the date in the OP

lolololololololololo

nice fanfic u big dweeb

did they stop teaching reading comprehension in the future?

I'm dumb

yes,yes you are

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That was actually a pretty sad story. good job, OP
It's okay friend we all make mistakes.

I think I understand why you consider yourself the worst poster on the board now.

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vocaroo user pls read this

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which one?

Very true.

>I made it into the story.
nice.

This would unironically make me happy, fuck all of you

Keep an eye out today. I'll have to remind the board of a few things. I think you'll have fun.
Also tomahawk missiles in Syria made me hard. I hope you were on top of it.

NEEEERRDDS

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oldfag here, Jow Forums was never good

Oh really?
I'll be keeping an eye out.
And yes, I was right on top of it. Didn't approve of the strikes though. Team Assad ftw.

Quit being so glum, chum.

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>implying Jow Forums will live to see 2022

How old am I?

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You're making me want to namefag now. I must resist...

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How about going one step further?

That's bloody depressing, but seems like a likely future I reckon