/sig/ - self improvement general

I knew I'd find (((you))) here

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Guys, I'm getting some contradictory messages here.
Looking on how to stop being a loser a-la my post.

Why does fit always ban no fap threads and christian threads?

I put down dipping tobacco after 9 years. Put it down, prayed about it. And I never looked back. 40 times more nicotine than cigarette smokers. I am off weed, alcohol, tobacco, porn (no fap hard mode 48 days). Gave my life to Christ, was baptized a few weeks ago.

. . . You're a stark moron. Smh.

Maybe you shouldn't browse /sig/. I see more griping and playing around like girls than improving. Seeing (above)'s reaction, do you trust someone who is essentially a basedboy to give you self-improvement advice? Rather than explain why my opinion about the book may be a bit off, he proceeds to imply I'm . . . a Jew(?) as if being Jewish (though I'm not, haha) discredits my opinion (like a female). When all you have to do is read the reviews and see that even the reviews make no sense, as well as the summary.

Ultimately user, you're free to do as you wish, but I highly recommend you wait for a better answer. You can start with the OP content. You can start with joining A FEW self-improvement groups (too many defeats the point and makes you lazy). That's what I did. I started small, and am adding more tasks and goals as I go.

Who here works to live in the footsteps of Christ?

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Get that blue pill tripe out of here.

There is no easy or quick solution. Work with your mental health first. Learn Mindfulness, actually read the book in OP. Mindfulness works, but you have to put in the effort and get over your prejudices. Add some healthy habits so long as you can stick to them.

There is no "adopt this single mindset and hey presto you're cured". There is no magic pill. You need to work your shit out.

THANK YOU! Now THIS is a post that constitutes a solid answer. Note the lack of (((this))) and instead the presences of tools and behaviours that conduce improvement.

But what do I know? It's not like this is self-improvement general or anything. Oh wait . . .

I stopped smoking 29/12/18. Wasn´t much fun the 1st month or so but I am soooo glad I´ve stuck it out. I feel so much better, feel so much and i´m much richer. It´s expensive to smoke in the UK.

I like this /sig thread, gives me a chance to stop and take stock I guess.

Sometimes I will write a post and then not even post it. The writing of it served it´s purpose.

Sat night, don´t really have many friends anymore, they are all settled and married. I don´t drink anymore so apart from Sat night AA i´m just hanging around online and watching DVDs etc. Will probably go to sleep soon, i don´t care it´s only 8 pm, i´m tired. But I would rather do what i´m doing than be getting pissed, smoking, taking drugs and trying to pull some dumb bitch. I feel a little bit sad right now, but I will feel great tomorrow morning.

Had a very productive day, 5 am get up, work, gym, study, nofap (so far), had a few biscuits but not gone mad, can still obsess about the Ex and swing between wanting to kill her or marry her (both of which are terrible ideas), but generally feeling at peace.

Reading Lady Chatterley´s lover now, after Brave New World and 1984 I needed a complete change of theme. My company it going well, just soooo much work I need/want to do and have to try and stop myself trying to build an empire in one day and burning out.

finally got my Cholesterol tested after procrastinating for the last two years, got the results back and my levels are fine. Blood pressure is good, Resting heart rate is stupidly low. BMI is fine, weight is fine.

So lets see, since Start Dec 18, i´ve stopped smoking, trained in the gym 4+ times a week, had my health checked out, started reading classic books, made a profitable company, cleaned up my diet, not relapsed over the Ex, fags or booze, paid off almost 3 grand in debt, going to museums and galleries once a week and do volunteer service for a charity once a week.

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It sounds like you're doing pretty good my man, but try to keep contact with your friends even if they're married.

Why do you feel sad?

Christianity is the ultimate redpill

Well I’m gonna make it a point to start viewing/ posting in this general. I tried doing water fasting for fat loss, hit 2 full days. I’ve come to my senses that I get nowhere on fat loss the correct way because I don’t stick with it long enough. So no more massive deficits/prolonged fasts. I’m just gonna suck my shit up and eat in a slight deficit, lift, and do my liss every day. 3 months and I’d be over halfway done. If I would have just started 2 years ago and stuck with it rather than the cope meme shit i keep falling for.

Unrelated but I wanna post it in this shit. I had a nervous breakdown a month ago and have finally started therapy. I avoided it for so long, the idea of it made me feel so mentally weak and like less of a man. I’m happy I started now. I actually cried when I went because I felt as though I was caving into the therapy and imaginary weakness I avoided for so long but I was also truly coming to terms with exactly how much work I have to put into myself/how fucked up I am. For anyone who’s struggling like I did and fears the idea of therapy, fucking do it. Make sure you have a good dr/a specialist and not someone who is immediately gonna push medication at you. The guy I’m seeing has me doing meditation and breathing techniques now, he has more as I make progress too.

Really hope I make it guys. I hope you all make it too, this general tends to be one of the only places with positive people on this whole site I’ve noticed. Maybe some day I’ll even leave Jow Forums for good

Nah, those people represent an old version of me that i don´t really want to know anymore. They binds have been steadily breaking over the last 10 years, and i´m not that bothered anymore. I always was a bit of a loner.

I don´t think I feel sad, i feel very at peace.

Still swing between starting to see whats out there on Tinder, a bunch of asshole bitches (I am embracing my misogynist side). and remembering that i am not in a place mentally, emotionally or economically to start anything.

Bide ya time user, it´s amazing how many women you can have once you have a decent standard of living.

been lifting weights and trying to socialize with people at my school lately

>I am embracing my misogynist side

Why?

last GF, she proved that women are capable of real proper vengeful cunts. i dont hate all women, just one, but she is still clouding my judgement about women.

I am trying brother, but all the Christians keep telling me that the law does not matter and they are grace cucks.

Man, I'm proud of you. It takes so much guts to admit that you need eternal help.

You're gon make it. Have a cat.

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I'm sorry to hear you've had a shit experience. It's understandable that it would make you angry. Just remember it's okay to feel sad about that shit too.

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thx man

>tfw miss going to Church despite none of it ever having sunk in

You're not missing anything. Religion is just polite society-approved snake oil

>reverse image search
>leads me back to this thread
Who is this goddess?

Not if the religion helps you become more at ease with the world without manipulating you into thinking that you are above anyone or anything.

Depends on which religion. Sufiism, Buddhism? Sure.

The other monotheistic crap? No sir!

Fuck I feel like such a faggot.

>gf has a low sex drive
>I have a high sex drive
>It has been 6 days since we last had sex
>She started kissing me deeply tonight, so I went to her nipples and started kissing them
>She starts laughing and says something about how I couldn't resist, but in a non-sexual way
>She always does shit like this, never seems interested in fucking me, can't talk dirty because of some mental block.
>Her version of initiation is kissing me and waiting for me to escalate
>this results in me getting rejected often
>I'm so sexually frustrated, decide fuck it.
>not going to humiliate myself by trying to fuck like a dog
>Say I need to go home
>She asks what's wrong at my car
>Tell her I'm frustrated
>Leave
>Almost crash car on way home because driving like a mad lad out of frustration
>Can't sleep

I'm a faggot, my friends. Feel free to call me out. Offer advice etc.

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I try to carry my cross as best as I can every day, my brother in Christ. Though I stumble, he helps me to keep walking towards salvation.
Do not let men be a stumbling block for you. Keep your eyes on Christ.

Congrats, you are dating an almost extint sub division of women, one that is not a whore, marry her quick, then train her to please only what you like sexualy so shes gonna be your personal bitch and almost unable to be pleasant to a lot of other guy that might try to fuck her, teach her about sexual exclusivity and shit like that.

You need to tell her that you have sexual needs and try to come to some compromise.
I'm not saying she needs to put out every time you feel like it but if you are constantly frustrated, its just not gonna work out.

Don't guilt trip her, don't pressure her but just tell her sincerely about your needs and ask her what she thinks would be for the best.

Cringed

We have talked about it in the past. I worry that by bringing it up directly, it will just cause guilt around sex. There is no solution to a low sex drive and it will just make her feel bad.

Regardless, your advice is probably the best option. I fucked up tonight, but it was bound to happen.

It's okay man. It's a difficult situation. I hope you guys can figure it out.

She is playing with you, teasing you to deny you later. End it, it's for the best.

When you struggle with such things a shift in perspective is often the most useful thing. You ask "why am I haunted brehs?". It is because you feel the deep, primal need to cultivate a sense of prowess over every facet of life that you can control. No sense of empowerment, normalcy or going through the motions can ever satisfy this need. People that don't actualize in this regard to some extent are fucked up and stunted for life, on pharmaceuticals or they take on the aspect of crazy cult members, etc... Others just accept mediocrity in all things, like that other fagget who recommends you to not read BAP's book (he tries even to justify this on the basis of other reviews of old boomers who couldn't mine a shitpost for the absolute fucking brilliance at the heart of it... he is dead inside!). It is all a form of domestication, unironically. It is very scary when/if you ever actually realize this and the nature of things.

Don't let the no gf situation hold you down or back from this, unironically this is where most younger guys fail. I struggled with it to some extent because of times of isolation (some shit I don't want to talk about here). That book really helped me unfuck my mind and it is the only reason I recommended it to you. While you are young and you have time & spirit left.

>learn mindfulness
>There is no "adopt this single mindset and hey presto you're cured"
Wow profound stuff

The BOOMER CAPS and general SMUG betray your zog status. Very gross!

Can someone post the /sig/ roll chart? Feeling motivated but can't decide where to start.

>Passive-aggressive sarcasm

Did you have critique or are you just having a tantrum?

appreciate it user, I'll give it a check
>the deep, primal need to cultivate a sense of prowess over every facet of life that you can control. No sense of empowerment, normalcy or going through the motions can ever satisfy this need.

you hit the nail on the head here, mediocrity is terrifying and it scares me that I'll ever/have started to settle for it- that's why I'm in /sig/ gotta get my shit sorted to avoid this

i'm an emaciated 5'9", 135 pounds at 27 years old. obviously this is ridiculous and i should be at least 20 maybe even 30 pounds heavier (i think i have a pretty small frame so low weight would happen regardless, my wrists are about 5.5-5.75 inches circumference, yes im serious) but i just don't like eating. i dont know how its possible, i dont think i have an eating disorder... i just dont like doing it, its like my body rejects it and doesnt care

ill be starving in the morning when i get to work, try to eat a simple bowl of oatmeal with milk and peanut butter and just give up eating it halfway through, like i get tired of it. i eat basic ass lunches usually revolving around some sort of small sandwich every day. my dinners are pretty small as well. i probably eat literally less than 1500 calories every day and have basically my entire life

maybe im just too lazy. i dont know. anyone dealt with this who can advise? probably "dude just eat lmao"

You gotta get used to eating big, it really is something you can practice.
Also drink your calories, I can get 1k calories without any effort from just a shake.

I want to help my friends, but it seems every time they request for my advice they do not actually want to hear what I have to say, but they want me to say what they want to hear. I don't want to see people who have potential fail, I don't want to see people I care about suffer, because they are in love with some bitch who uses them for her ego, I don't want to see them hate themselves for who they are. I want to help them become happy, but I don't know how to do it.

I just (OFFICIALLY) found out I probably ADHD, I'm figuring what some of you guys do to help relieve your symptoms for someone who doesn't wanna take Adderall

for a while i tried making smoothies. they were pretty basic, just a cup of milk, a cup of oats, almonds, frozen fruit, peanut butter, yogurt and sometimes I would do olive oil to increase calories. It tasted good and was a decent amount of calories like 700-800, but it would give me such horrific gas and disgusting near-diarrhea shits (and i was able to eat all the things alone without issues, only the smoothie caused them) that i had to stop

Alternatively to the other posters who replied to you, try just takin gwhat you want. Don’t rape her, that’s not what I’m saying. But at the same time dominate her and don’t stop. She will either be really displeased and slap you, or will give in and cum buckets and be super attached for a while

Good luck fren. desu I can't give great advice that I know will work for you about this. But I found direction and I would share it with you. Finding someone like a mentor or friend who can give you profound and useful advice is extremely rare irl. But I know what it's like to be young and have all of these innumberable questions and pressures that you maybe barely know how to articulate, and they seem so impossible to resolve. For years I read classical philosophy and learned what I could about meme psychology/neuroscience like OP... This was an attempt to reach some kind of "source" from where I could at least find solace (this is a big struggle for lads who aren't cult-tier religious). There is much at your fingertips which is interesting and potentially useful but, this feel you have that you've spoken of in these last two posts, it will always be there in the back of your mind, like a thirst that can never be quenched. And it's not like it was for the past generations, there are so many traps bros. There are no safe conduits for that energy, it's all like a toxic waste dump. "A wet hole in your mind that is being fucked" as BAP calls it (paraphrasing, kinda).

Critiqing is for effeminate "males" who are dead inside. I will leave this to you, user.

I have never been on Tindr before. Barely been on social media.
There are no pictures of me anywhere.
I used to be a literal cripple shut-in, but now I can walk normally and I got a neat job and I'm making friends for the first time.

Question 1: How do I play the profile game on Tindr?
Q2: How do I build a desirable Facebook facade?
Q3: What do women want in a single guy's Instagram?
Q4: In terms of percentages, how much of an advantage do I have by being 6'4"? (No meme responses please)

Friends still invite me to shit like drinking events in the city for St Paddy's day even though I routinely say no cause I loathe doing stuff like that and won't drink. You guys eventually lose friends due consistently turning down offers to do stuff? They all involve drinking at bars

if your friends mostly just drink and you dont like drinking then find new friends

The longest friend I’ve had has become an alcoholic. We started hanging out when I was 13, used to smoke weed together habitually, and did various other drugs too on occasion. We had a falling out at the end of 2016 for unrelated reasons, and by then he only drank as much as the next 20 year old Australian (which is probably too much anyway, but I digress).

Ran into him by chance in late 2018, made up and started hanging out again, but in our time apart I got my shit together, started taking fitness/nutrition seriously, stopped smoking, joined uni, etc. whereas he seems to have increased his consumption of everything. He’s high 24/7, and has told me he drinks pretty much every night, though I suspect he drinks during the day too. He and his gf live at his parents’ house and have identical habits, though she at least manages to hold down a job unlike him.

I know that he’s concerned about his drinking but doesn’t seem motivated to do anything about it. His gf is slightly more vocal about wanting to change but similarly does nothing when push comes to shove. They’re pretty much dependent on each other to enable their bad habits. I invite them to activities that don’t involve alcohol with our friends but they use lack of money as an excuse not to come. They won’t spend $15 on a movie ticket but will spend $140 a week on a half ounce without thinking. Theyre only broke because they sink it all on substances. They invite me to their place but I don’t feel comfortable either being sober and watching them get drunk or enabling by drinking with them.
I wasn’t expecting this to be so long, the more I type the more obvious it seems that they may be too far gone to keep investing energy in. Between work, uni and my own issues I don’t have time to try and fix someone else’s mental illness. They introduced me to my current friends so I know he’ll feel betrayed and spiral if I draw the line.
Sorry for the blog, anyone have similar experiences/advice?

A lot of perfectly well adjusted people find that tinder is a horrible place to meet people, there’s a lot of facade and cultivation of a desireable image and I think in the long run you’ll end up with a warped idea of what it is about people that enables them to form meaningful relationships. Even using a paid dating service is a step up just because it cuts through the bullshit of people just there to boost their own ego. Don’t go down this hole is my advice.

Also listing your height in your bio is insufferable to all but the most superficial of people, if that’s what you’re into then whatever.

>Also listing your height in your bio is insufferable to all but the most superficial of people
This absolutely, let it be a pleasant surprise user.

god damn $140 for a half ounce is straya, user?

Yes, I love magic jew fan art and fan fiction. He's my favorite character.

I’m your height and age and I looked best around 160~
I’d post pics but that was 3 years ago. 30 lbs heavier and back on the road to slimness.

Yeah if you’re not mates with the dealer, that’s standard $10 a gram and you can expect pretty good quality. Friends will give it to your for about $120.
How much would you pay in the US?

When beginning, set small easy goals and smash them. This will get you used to success, and success can snowball. Setting big goals in the beginning will lead to failure and giving up.

any other books, podcasts, resources to rec?
I've gotta find a good mentor for sure

i live in northern australia (remote location), here you easily pay 225$ for half an ounce. plus a 300km drive to get it.

i dont smoke weed btw, my friends do.

Godspeed user.

>sacked from my job
>$300 has to last until I get a new one because I cannot get welfare payments
I'M FUCKED, I'M FUCKED, I'M FUCKED. I'M IN THE SHIITEST AGE GROUP FOR A JOB.

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I'll pay you to dress as a girl and suck my dick, unionically

Idk maybe cause you nerds spam this board instead of having a one nofap general or sticking to /sig/, it's annoying even though I'm on nf myself.

become a cam whore while you job search, you're not ugly right?

No I am sorry

Well, you're unemployed, so you have lots of time to look for a new job now.

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yeah your life is fucked you'll spend at least a decade trying to catch back up to where you were

don't lose your job fags, a homeless/poorfag life is only a few months away and you should never forget it

>20
>NEET uni dropout
>live with parents
>bit of a skelly
>looking for wagie work again but nobody will hire
>$14k saved
what should my first step be

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>work with decent number of qt girls
>boss at work is a real qt (idk if real qt or just "office qt" tho)
>single at 33 but its due to her being in a long term relationship that broke off
>everyone likes her because she's very nice, actually funny (for a woman), basically like the "cool" boss, only thing i dont like is how she lets people walk all over her instead of being assertive
>has some bad habits like eating relatively poorly and drinking soda a lot but is still thin pale qt
>been dating some guy for i dunno 6 months or something like that
>have basically never talked to her outside of work but we did hang out (with some other coworkers) one time
>i get annoyed with and dislike pretty much everyone, and everyone knows it, but get legitimately sad when she has the day off, yes actually sad when my boss is off
>know that she surely, 100% absolutely just sees me as the ugly, aloof angry autist i am
>realize i will never be anything more than the funny but ugly, aloof angry autist to anyone i ever meet

obviously the desire to get with any coworker, especially your boss, is a ridiculous and impossible situation, and someone like her would never even entertain the thought of being with worthless incel scum like me, but still
>tfw i will never be able to go into her office and put up her little window shade she uses when she doesnt want people to bother her and eat the fuck out of her ass while she stands at her desk

let's cuddle bro, we will make it together

>boss at work is single
>been dating for six months

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How much of a setback is it to stop lifting for a week? Will I lose a lot of gains?

Feel worse than in a long time. Compketely wortless. I’m still going to the gym tomorrow, things are already bad enough without me quitting it. I have to believe that all this suffering has purpose, god help me.

>sarcasm
>ad hominem
>somehow calls others effeminate

>tfw can't go to the gym because bike is busted.
Should be able to go back next Thursday. For the mean time, any tips or info-graphics on calisthenics?

Just repeat your last workout numbers or deload a little bit, like 10% and keep doing your program.

No, one week isn't enough to 'lose gains' but you'd have a hard time if you have progressing overload and try to crank it upn again after missing a full week.

Ok, thanks.

Your suffering is caused by your own flawed perception of reality.

Why do you feel worthless?

I've always been a fairly successful, competitive and rational person.
About a year ago I went on a mental-health journey because I was riddled with anxiety and panic attacks despite my successes, I've been meditating a lot and now I'm in a bit of a weird situation.
>Learn to be Brutally Honest with yourself. Stop being a slave to your Ego.
I'm transgender. Mental illness or not, the feelings are clear and I'm not deluding myself. If anything I've been deluding myself for the past 5 years or so.

I'm 26 now and came out to my therapist in a very emotional email yesterday.
I've been in a relationship with my gf for almost 10 years, she doesn't know I'm trans and I'm not 100% sure about it even though I get bad, intense feelings of dread pretty often. My gf thinks I'm just bi.
I'm going to talk to my therapist tomorrow in a longer session but I'm getting severe physical anxiety just thinking about it.
I'm not sure what to do. I feel like no matter what I'll do it's going to be a terrible mistake and that I'm too old to transition anyways. There are times when I'm content (not really happy) with my life as well.
I'm concerned that these feelings, intense or not, are not worth pursuing and that repressing them might be beneficial.
Living them out in a healthy and controlled manner seems impossible at this point.

Sorry for the blog, just wanted to get it out there and curious to hear about similar experiences that are built around a mindset found in this thread.

What's important is that you're in contact with some professional. What you did was really brave. Your situation is not easy so find whatever help you can get. Find some local LGBT support group too.

You may make some mistakes but what would be the biggest mistake is to lie to yourself. So you have avoided that one. There is absolutely no benefit to repressing your feelings. You don't have to ACT upon every feeling ( not implying you shouldn't transition, that's entirely up to you ) but never repress feelings, especially difficult ones. They'll just come and bite you in the ass one way or another.
I can only imagine how difficult you're feeling now, it's no wonder. It's good you at least wrote your feelings here though you might catch some flak for it. Do you think there's some hotline you could call?

Thanks for the reply. I'll be okay until tomorrow, I'm used to the anxiety and most of the time I'm able to recognize it as such and simply accept the physical symptoms.
As you've said, the hardest part is honestly evaluating my feelings and not putting them off or deluding myself. It's very difficult to truly experience any feelings at all, I'm always talking myself through them in a dissociative manner which makes understanding them difficult.
I've been living my life in a very stoic way but not experiencing (being overtaken by them) emotions first hand ironically clouds my judgement in some cases.
>It's good you at least wrote your feelings here though you might catch some flak for it.
That I'm definitely not bothered by, I know where I am and would agree that sensible criticism of transitioning is healthy for a society.
If being transgender were confirmed to be a mental illness, I wouldn't hate myself in the same way I wouldn't hate myself for being schizo.
To tie everything together again - thanks for your message, I'll try to collect my thoughts so I can get the most out of therapy tomorrow.

Can’t relate to people, can’t be a normal guy but ain’t good enough to be someone who creates his own path. Feel lonely all the time, since I was a kid. Feel inadequate all the time. I’ve been thinking since I posted, and I feel better now. Resilience is my constant in life. Whatever happens I’m still here. Suffering, sometimes, and certainly cracked and chipped in some aspects, but still here. I believe there’s value in it.

Transgenders are disgusting freaks.
You will never be a woman you degenerate faggot subhuman scum.

It takes a lot of time and you have a long hard road ahead of you but I believe you can make it.

Peace

The one you hurt most with those words is yourself my man. Hope you can come to /sig/ with sincerity one day.

You're entitled to your opinion and I wouldn't even say you're wrong. To keep the spirit of the thread alive consider however that your reply is clearly motivated by hatred and you'd achieve more by trying to change my mind if you think being transgender is a mistake. Making me kill myself isn't going to change anything if that's what you're after.

Try to realize that all of those feelings follow thoughts you have about yourself. You're not spontaneously feeling those things. You have control over your thoughts. Not implying you should force yourself to "think happy thoughts" since that's pointless but try to recognize that your feelings follow thoughts, and then you use those feelings to enforce the thoughts, and loop again.
You can learn to stop doing this, though it takes time.

What do you think is "normal" ?

i'm learning to lift and i'm enjoying it, but not matter how many videos on form I watched and how many times I read guides/SS I don't seem to be able to do proper form.

how long did it take for you guys that actually lift to be satisfied with form in compound movements?

It's a slow process, don't compare yourself to anyone else and unironically stay safe.
Before you know it you'll get to a point where you can do pretty high weights quite safely.
My advice would be this: never skip the compounds because you feel insecure about form, just do it even if it's shitty form/bad depth etc and substitute the actual workout in another way.
I'm 8 years in and still feel like my form is trash even though it's clearly very good, there's always room to improve.

Bow your head to Christ degenerate and become a Crusader for God.
Be reborn with spiritual fire and join the New Crusade and Retake Jerusalem from the Kikes and Dune Coons.
The other path is embracing Satan, genital mutilation, and life of emptiness. Fill your heart with the righteousness of God's fury and cast out the heretics and the satanists.

I wasn’t having a good night, user. It made some unhealthy toughts resurface. I feel better now, probably because I took a cold shower and sobered up. Frankly, drinking is worthless.

>What do you think is “normal”?
Certain patterns of thinking and acting that are common to most people, like clubbing is for young adults, for example. The kind of actions that the more cynical people around here would attribute to NPCs or some other nonsense. I have to come to terms I’m not like these people nor wish to be so. Having self-respect and assurance of my own worth would go a long way to help this come through, and I’ve been working on it, but there’s always some bumps along the road. Anyway, thanks for hearing me during my worst, I had not felt that bad in months, which is good, now that I start to think about it.