Nobody IRL likes my music

Utterly unedited by the way. I've not looked at this since I wrote it maybe three months ago?

I don't want to see something unedited. You said you were a good writer so handing me something unedited is pretty useless.

I never claimed I was good. I've spent the entire thread pissing and moaning about how shit I am. But I understand if you don't want to read it. Would it help if I said the mistakes aren't too grand?

I feel you user.
Similarly, I don't fit in with anyone. Online even, I don't belong with those who play the games I do; the loser communities I go to.
Often wonder why I couldn't have been a normal person.

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I doubt we could connect since we probably have different tastes, but know that I feel the same way a lot of the time. I have fairly obscure tastes in music and video games, so it's difficult to find someone to relate to. I also often experience an intense need to express myself in some way, but I'm too much of a brainlet to write anything worthwhile, and too lazy to learn how to draw or compose music. My one friend keeps trying to get me into things he likes so we have something to converse about, but my interest in them usually ends up being tepid at best.

Feel with me, anons. In this singular instant we are not so alone. We will together be stranded between mediocrity-atoll and garbage-island. We can drift and float until one of us dies under the sun, and then we shall use him as a raft.

wish we could be friends but we'd inevitably dwell on our misfortune, right? such is life

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Yep. I'm not going to say I'm a perfect friend. If you offered me a discord I'd never friend you. If you texted me I'd flake. I self perpetuate my misery.

I am no good at anything. I just want to be angry now.

anger is good friend, channel it into your creativity.

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I am. I write a lot of letters to myself. Here is one I just wrote.

pastebin.com/iYt8V4ni

I'm not the person you replied to, but I read it. It sounds like the sort of thing I'd write. I can see why people describe you as pretentious - you try to employ rather flowery writing, but don't yet seem to have the experience to do it properly. You definitely have potential, though. That piece made me feel something, and that's worth a lot.

I suppose you should practice more so that you're eventually able to express yourself better without sounding pretentious, and hope that you can find people that appreciate what you write. Although, to be honest, I still don't understand why you say that you hate writing, rather than how emotional you are and your need to regard things as profound rather than get simple pleasure out of them. Isn't writing just a means to express those feelings of yours?

Do not give up. You are like me: You feel so out of place because you probably are and you feel as if people misunderstand you because they probably do.

I have felt discouraged too many times at this point. I honestly do not see my music ever making an impact in society probably because of the nature of it and because of its unconventionality. I also may just simply lack talent. Who knows.

I still keep going despite this. You may be an undiscovered genius for all we know. Take solace in the fact that some of the most recognized artists/writers/composers were often rejected in their lifetimes.

I wanted the attention and the fame like yourself (and I still do). I wanted to be recognized for my musical ideas as unique as I thought they were. I wanted to be like Beethoven.

Beethoven is loved and admired by so many for his powerful music. I wanted to be another Beethoven, because he was my favorite composer and because I thought it was amazing how his music still has an impact on people almost 200 hundred years after his death.

But then I realized that I am not Beethoven and I never will be. Nobody will ever be who he was because he was his own profile. I am who I am and so I have to my very best to write music that reflects who I am as a person.

lmao, were you that faggot who was trying to pioneer a new genre of music by mirroring lydian scales?

No I am not a faggot first of all. And where was this person posting anyways?

Send me a link of the music.

>you try to employ rather flowery writing, but don't yet seem to have the experience to do it properly

I know. I try. I try to read a lot too, which I think helps, but hell, I just read a letter I wrote to myself when I was 20 (I'm 23 now) and nothing has changed about my outlook and style.

>That piece made me feel something, and that's worth a lot.
That means a lot to me. Thank you for reading.

> Although, to be honest, I still don't understand why you say that you hate writing, rather than how emotional you are and your need to regard things as profound rather than get simple pleasure out of them. Isn't writing just a means to express those feelings of yours?
It is. The fact that I can't do it well enough to be regarded as anything more than mediocre is what murders me. God I'm so pathetic.

>Do not give up. You are like me: You feel so out of place because you probably are and you feel as if people misunderstand you because they probably do.
I'm not a misunderstood genius though. Am an amateur at life -- not just in my craft, but in literally everything. You and I are probably this amateur, this kind-of-okay-at-something-kind-of-not-but-crippled-by-serious-mental-issues, and that's just God yukin' it up up there. Fucking cunt.

>Should I just end my fucking life?
yes. You base your entire worth on the approval of others.

soundonsound.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=63710&p=574676&hilit=

I like your music user. I can't say I love the vocals, but in music generally I don't. I do like the rest though, I find that stuff good to listen to while accomplishing a task.

This very originally hit me hard

>I just read a letter I wrote to myself when I was 20 (I'm 23 now) and nothing has changed about my outlook and style.
That's kind of how I feel when I read back my old letters too. They sound retarded, but what I write nowadays isn't much different. I think it may stem from writing for yourself, rather than for your reader. I notice that, strangely enough, I write in a style that I really dislike reading. I suppose there may not be much one can do about that, as it's not nearly as emotionally satisfying to write while constantly considering how your reader would feel.

>It is. The fact that I can't do it well enough to be regarded as anything more than mediocre is what murders me. God I'm so pathetic.
This is likely something you just have to accept. Even if you're the best writer in the world, text (and any other extant medium) is too low bandwidth to convey the full spectrum of emotions humans experience. I have been wishing for a while now for some sort of linking device that allows you to feel exactly what someone else is feeling to be invented.

Also, sorry if I sound condescending. I actually don't know much about writing, so these are merely inferences I'm throwing out for you to consider. Don't take them as advice, per se.

No that is not me but I did enjoy listening to the link you sent me (the Op. 21, No. 20 Parodites).

I know those feels user. A lot of it can be solved by changing your attitude towards your own art. Art is something to be shared but you must make it for yourself first and foremost, not for anyone else. When you do this you might start to hate your own work, but don't let it discourage you. You recognise that its not up to YOUR standards, so keep reading, writing and improve. Everything you make won't be perfect, but when you make something you're proud of, its a feeling like no other. I hope this helps OP

Yes we are probably amateurs but guess what..

The more effort you put into perfecting something, the more likely you will reach the level of mastery of these naturally creative people. Just keep trying user. Just dont make the mistakes Ive made at this point. I am now 25 and ive been crippled by depression, anxiety and other mental roadblocks my whole life. Its caused me to waste lots of time and its contributed to my failures in life too. Just do not give up.

>try to act all misunderstood and tragic
>just some basic bitch who wants attention
Nah, fuck off.

at least you write shit. i wish i could write but my vocab is like a 12 year old

You could also accept the fact that there are too many stupid people out there to really appreciate the value of true art.

I am referring to one group of people: normal stupid people. What do I mean by this?

I am actually talking about people who are not necessarily stupid, its not stupid as in low IQ. I am referring to shallow normal people with shallow superficial tastes. They like shallow music, praise internet memes over true art, speak and write in a bastardized version of the English language. They also have to follow the latest trends and dress and talk and act like everyone else or else it is not acceptable. They are basically like the NPC meme but this has little to do with politics.

Its these shallow normal people that have made superficial and short term things immensely popular. The stupidity of sittin on da toilet! type culture can be attributed to these people.