/fat/ - "no i don't count my calories" edition

>Do you fetishize photos of your own dick
Basically, also who gives a shit about wanting women

Just bought pic related, what am I in for anons?

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ok, this is cringe

>occasionally add sprint a bit on my walk home from gym
>wanna start going for jogs at night to burn a few extra calories
>scared I'll get winded super quick because I've never gone for a jog properly before
also scared my shitty shoes aren't gonna bode well on a run

Taking it and not noticing anything different

/swimbro/ here.
Almost down another pound boys. Should be lower by Friday.

Everybody check the chart. How much have you lost?

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nobody's around to see you getting winded at night, it'll get better, go for it

get new shoes if it bothers you

16lbs at last official weigh in, 21lbs unofficially.

Down a baby hippo. Got the checked baggage weight limit on a passenger jet left.

ALMOST down 2 full giant squids, feels good man

Go to a sports shop or a specialist running shoe place if you live in a large enough city to have one, make sure wherever you go has a decent range of shoes and staff that know what they're talking about
Buy better shoes, keep trying ones on until you get a good pair

Do Couch to 5k to start off, take it as slow as you need to starting out, and make sure you stretch before doing anything

I'm a lb under Hitler as of this morning, only 19lbs to go

5'2" femlet down from abe lincoln to nuclear bomb uranium since late summer, including fucking off on diet for several weeks during holiday seasonz
currently on track to bring it to mountain lion for summer time, 2019 is the year of making it

based

>a chimpanzee

MFW when I realized I can see my dick when I look down again

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Im at 25% body fat and my bmi is 24, how the fuck am i supposed to get lean without getting an incredibly low/underweight bmi?

how do i start swimming?

By gaining more muscle

Do you know how?
What are your concerns?
I don't want to be that guy that says "just go to the pool", because even for me it wasn't that easy.

I know how to float and dog paddle

I will start swimming in a public pool soon

Watch out for the Japanese "research" vessels

Wew lads i had 4 pieces of pizza and 2 of the bread bite things from dominos. Thats basically all i had other than watermelon and coffee today though

You're gonna have to learn the front crawl user. (watch some videos). If you can work up to doing this for half an hour you'll lose a ton of calories when you go. I'm up to almost two hours some days now. When you're waiting on one side of the pool you'll have to be treading water, too.

I'll always suggest the pool because its easier on my joints than running (i switched to this because of shin splints).

You'll get used to walking around as a half naked fatass and hopefully feel some shame in this to push yourself harder in the pool when women/fit people are around, meanwhile the fatties that frequent the pools will also give you inspiration to not be like them.

Use the lanes properly and don't doggy paddle. It's a lot funner than normal exercise too.

kek

do you literally just overhead stroke or whatever back and forth in a 25m pool for 2 hours? or do you switch up your form?

Why does the generic cronometer 'tilapia' for 4oz say its 145cals with 30g protein, while if i scan the bag of frozen tilapia I got from the store it comes up as 4oz for 110 cals with 22g protein? Which do I consider legit?

I also dive for rings (i can do at most 30 seconds underwater), do the backstroke when i'm really fucking tired and maybe hit the sauna when i'm pushed to my limit (before jumping back in for a few laps).

I've only done the overhead stroke a few times for a few hours. Maybe four or five days? I'll do this when i'm feeling angry at my own progress or life stuff.

The pool i go to is 50m

Is anyone else having trouble logging into MFP? The app logged me out and when I checked on my laptop the website stalled and crashed

Foodstuffs always vary in nutritional content at least slightly, no animal or plant can be exactly the same as any other, there's always some slight difference, and the way the food has been preserved has an effect too, frozen has slightly different nutritional content to fresh etc.

Notice how they're both extremely similar? the nutritional info on the back of the packet or on apps and sites is a reference only, the only way to find out the precise calorific content in the bit of food you're looking at is running laboratory tests on it

tl:dr using either one is fine but the one on the packet is likely ever so slightly more accurate, but both are perfectly fine and are accurate enough to keep track of what and how much you're eating

my point actually was that they are quite different for the 'same' amount of food. if i was cutting and using 110 cals when i was really eating 145 i'd be upset, and if i was bulking and thinking i was getting 30g protein when really only 22g i'd be upset too. using the actual label i am using is definitely what i'll be doing, it just seems like a huge gap for fundamentally the same foodstuff

Jokes on you, my resting heart rate is faster than its ever been.

Same here.

so after hitting 130kg I kind of became motivated, lost close to 35kg in 2-3 months and looked great at close to 100, then vacations, sedentary lifestyle and everything kicked in, I stopped lifting and biking and I'm now back over 130 at 134, main issue being diet.
What's the recommended lifting routine for fat bitches, I got a homegym with enough weights for pretty much anything besides deadlifts. Looking for mainly caloric burn/volume instead of high numbers or muscle gain, is SL 5x5 (what I did before) suitable for this ? Any tips appreciated.

25 instead of 35, sorry, also my current goal would be sub 100

I changed to LoseIt because of this

jaundice because you bought lead contaminated garbage

Finished my first week of couch to 5k last week. Started stronglifts 5x5 on my non-couch to 5k days today. I'm so sore, I almost fell over while cleaning one of the toilets at work today.

But it also feels good.

north pacific octopus

I had 8 eggs and 4 links of maple sausage and a slab of tofu fried together with ketchup.

I've been thinking about doritos ever since dinner, I can't get them out of my mind

can someone give me the cardio for fat loss vs cardio for aerobic health tldr

What kind of answer are you looking for? Do you just want to know if it's worth doing or not?

They're basically the same.
Cardio vascular health is achieved by something as little as 1-2 25-35 minute LISS and 1-2 10-15 minute HIIT sessions a week.
If you want to do fat loss mainly via cardio, you gotta put in a lot more time than that.

Just dont be autistic about it, its never going to be exact, even if both measures agreed. If you're cutting, use the highest number of cals, if you're bulking, the lowest number of protein so you err on the safe side, while still knowing theres a margin of error.

how to train for each. I need vascular health,gf needs to burn fat.

Fuck guys I think I'm going to make it
>be fat, lose 150 pounds, get rejected, get fat again
>sitting in an office job for 2 years
>40lbs less than I was at my peak but all my old muscle is gone and it's pure flab
>new job at a machine shop doing shipping/receiving
>lifting hunks of metal around all day for counts/inventory
>driving for hours in the sun in a truck with no AC to sweat out all the toxins
>wearing fitbit my gf gave me, finally starting to get my 10,000 steps/day instead of Cut out the sugar
I just want to feel sexy in front of my girl again, we met on Tinder when I was at my peak so it's sucked having her see me go back to being a disgusting ogre

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Do cardio. Tell gf to lift. The amount of high intensity cardio it takes to amount to significant fat loss requires more time and discipline than most people can give. The best way to lose fat is to just exist at a caloric deficit though, and fat loss won't happen no matter how much one excercises if they eat too much and negate it. Gf needs to diet.

Burning fat or losing weight is 90% diet at least
Tell her to stop eating so much

For health start by going swimming or doing C25K, if you're not a whale who's heart will explode at serious effort look into spinning classes or circuit training

is she fat too?

Diet is pretty much in check, now just looking to add in some extra cardio to make the cal deficit even greater. M-w-f cardio t-upper t-lower

As for me, my job is my weight training I just want to do more cardio for my heart.

Gf wants me to do the Colorado Cleanse. Am I gonna die from shitting for a week?

easiest $2000 I ever made lmao
>there are fatfucks itt right now who aren't making money doing what they're doing already

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Its a fucking meme,some for profit nonsense made up by a washed up doctor to grab money for retirement, just stop eating shit and start eating more vegetables

how to deal with the urge to eat?

Whats that, user?

This is honestly one of the nost sensible viewpoints on Jow Forums.

Anybody that tells you to go cold turkey on the food is being unrealistic.

don't eat, it's quite easy actually

healthy wage bullshit
if you're like me and money is a bigger motivator than health it's kinda neat

super easy process, no shill. If you fuck up you will lose a shitload of money though. I put in like $1000 and got $2160 back (60lbs in 6 months, which is easy as fuck). Losing $1000 would have been shitty.

where do you get weighed for this because otherwise everybody would just lie, or even pay off the people weighing them

what the hell

You have to take a video in the app itself, full body, in a big mirror. Side to side, back to back, then straight to a scale with no pausing or cuts. You 0 out the scale before getting on it, make sure it stops on a weight, and for safe measure do it again (to ensure it isn't tampered with) then pan back to a body cam again.

same for weigh out, obviously if you put 100lbs and don't look 100lbs lighter they will call you on your bullshit and ask you to take it again, possibly with someone else. But I did mine 100% alone. I imagine they get a fuck ton of failures.

This is some next level commodification of the self
Your mother must be proud

Is there a way to list calories in myfitnesspal weekly or is there any other app that lets you do it like that?

cronometer will give you a weekly rundown, i think you can pick other time periods too

I'm sorry, what I mean is that a way that lets you input the food in a weekly basis instead of daily. I buy all my food once a week and it'd be much easier to put the bulk of it once and then just add what little extra things I might eat one day.

Lose it lets you do meal planning ahead of time but you have to subscribe to premium

Why not just put it all in a spreadsheet and copy paste it in on the day

I had not thought about that, thanks!

I’m someome who’s just starting their workout regimen.

I have set up a schedule that is (out of a 7 day week) M-F 1 hour of cardio and M,W,F additional hour of weight and strength training.

Saturday and Sunday rest/light cardio

Is this a good idea, or am I doing too much? Or should I wait until I lose the weight and hit my target weight before I being lifting.

Read the sticky!

I have. I’m 6’2, 280lb.

There are people who look jacked as fuck at or around that same weight. I look like a blob. I’m just trying to get to my target weight of 190 and perhaps bulk back up 225 ish in muscle.

So basically what I’m asking is, if I start lifting while I’m running, will I retain the weight?

Why the fuck would you ever do it weekly

Way too much cardio.
Do 2 "hard" cardio sessions, one on tuesday, one on saturday while lifting M, W, F.

assuming you are also on a calorific deficit to lose fat no, your weight will go down but you will increase your muscle mass

You lose fat mass at a far faster rate than you build muscle, this is good as it means you can lose weight while also getting them noob gains

>haven't drank in a while
>decided to drink tonight
>took one shot
>felt guilty immediately

>Almost lost 880 pounds
fucking what

I need a battle plan

>170 pounds fatty
>5'4" turbomanlet
>25y old boomer
>target weight is 140-ish as that's what I achieved last time I visited Jow Forums for a few months and I was pretty happy with that weight

It's my 6th day of OMAD keto. 1 hour eating window but I do drink coffee/tea throughout the day.
>Fuck everyone. Dr. Berry says that's ok.
I don't count shit but I bet I'm under 1500 calories and I try to eat under 10g of carbs (ok, I ate like 15g of carbs today but that's because I got mad urge for some nuts, ate like 5g of carbs yesterday). Anyway counting shit kills my drive that's what I've learned last time
>I know I'm in ketosis almost all the time now except the 1 hour feeding window

I want to introduce some basic exercise into my daily routine.
>must take less than 10 or 15 minutes
>must be doable at home
>no weights or other shit

Suggestions?

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'4"

good lord...

Canadian air force exercise program
Also you need to learn how to control your intake in a non meme way, keto will work to get the weight off but you will put the weight back on overtime, as you've already done once, if you don't start to properly monitor your calorific intake and adjust as needed

do some jumping jacks, pushups, squats, dips, anything to get your heart rate up

>73 kilos (160 lb)
>5'11 ft manlet
>want to lose more weigh because I feel fat and most likely have body dysmorphia

I ate like a pig last weekend, hamburger and hotdogs.

Never gonna make it

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if your abs dont show then you are fat theres no debate

Just quit it entirely lad, I dropped drinking entirely after new years and don't regret it at all, its the greatest gains goblin in human history

Had a bit of a break down yesterday. Thanks for keeping me afloat.

Yeah, I know I'm a pig at 160 lb, 5'11

earning nice salary and owning a nice house and a nice car fixes that
honestly I did that before, OMAD and counted calories and I've felt like shit
it's MUCH better this time
any particular starting point?

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am going to I think
I decided not to drink anymore of the bottle, gonna go for a short run later to try to repent

Am I banned?? Testing testing

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starting point of pushups is 1 pushup
etc

I hate people. Almost everyone who's noticed my weight loss has straight up said that I will fail.
The fuck guys, how about a good job or keep at it for some encouragement?

aim for like 20 I guess

good job!

keep at it!