"that guy" at the gym

>that guy that head bangs and plays air guitar between sets
>that THICC BRAPPER that works out in yoga pants and a bra and you wish she'd acknowledge you
>that 60+ year old guy that gives you unsolicited advice and starts every story with "back in my day"
>that black dude that air boxes, dances and shadow boxes in front of the mirror during peak hours
>that one dude that smells like he's never bathed before
>that one guy that wears 300+ gym gear but never uses a dumbbell over 35lbs
>that one dude that's bright red and clearly on roids that seems to only perform 20+ rep bicep curls but looks like a bodybuilder
>that one black dude wearing old vans and a dragon ball z tank top who's an actual bro

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>That guy who aimlessly walk in and around the squat rack between sets

That's me

FPBP

Wierdo

>that black dude that air boxes, dances and shadow boxes in front of the mirror during peak hours
>that one black dude wearing old vans and a dragon ball z tank top
>that one dude that smells like he's never bathed before
This is the same guy

what is it about black dudes always smelling bad?

фпбп

>that group of scrawny indians that loligag around the dumbells and occasionally do curls
>that group of thots that do butt circuits together and spend the off time feeling their own butt
>that older woman with god-tier tiddies doing kettlebells with a trainer
>that powerlifter who spends an hour on the bench press
>that couple +1 that spends an hour on the other bench press at the same time as the powerlifter
>that asian kid who only does hamstring curls and bicep curls with the smallest possible weight for an uncountable amount of reps
>that cute gym receptionist who turned you down once and now you avoid eye contact every time you go in

Uhh, racist much?

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There used to be one in my class that only wore one pair of pants, the same white t-shirt, and alternated between two hoodies. I don't think he ever washed them. There are probably several other reasons for why they stink, not wiping their ass maybe?

Urea in their sweat

Based

>That guy who's too awkward to ask for a spot so ends up unable to lift the bar off his chest on the last rep
It's me.

>That old ugly dude with the wax figure looking face stuck in a permanent dreaming smile and his stupid receding oily hair, looking at you like you're some kind of old persons candy

legitimately had to look to see if I had forgotten to wear pants

>that guy who does 5 sets of 5 reps
>that guy who sips water between sets
>that guy with air pods in
>that guy doing OHP in the squat rack
>that guy who brings his hot girlfriend and just gives dirty looks to everyone

haha... yeah... fuck that guy...

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personally i only shower once a week, on Sundays after my weekly multihour 3 AM edge session
i dont have friends and i dont go out, who am i trying to smell good for?

>that black guy who only uses 10 lb pl8s

>3 AM
why are you fucking up your sleep so bad

i dont need to wake up early

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER FOR FUCK SAKE

that one black dude that sings R&B songs at like 75% volume and dances in between sets in front of the mirror

I present to you, ladies and gentleman, an Incel.

wtf else do you do between sets?

that gorgeous D1 volleyball player chick with a 10/10 ass that you wish would pick you up and suck you off, mommy style

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Please get better user

Ohp in the squat rack... yeah fuck him... ahah

>be me, chubby shy gril with big loud bear boyfriend and 1 very inspo natty friends
>they are yelling at each other the whole time, being obnoxious
>suddenly the gym clears out, they’re regulars
>start giving me instructions on what to do very kindly, no longer want to hide on the cardio machines
>they know I’ll get embarassed lifting
In front of others
> I love them
(:

>that one guy who sings and poorly dances between sets
>that one guy who constantly checks for signs of male pattern baldness in the mirrors
>that one guy who always talks stocks with gym boomers
>that one guy who OHP 85 pounds and throws it down like it was 2 plates while his gym wheyfu cheers him on
>mfw that one guy is me

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what did I just read?

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Could you rephrase this whole story in a way that makes sense?

shut the fuck up incels

that's a cute story, i bet you're pretty cute too

>that group of teenagers that never trains legs
>that gymcel who wears a hoodie and a hat despite the gym being warm
>that boomer who sweats like a pig
>that huge black guy that benches every day

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I'm the guy that smells bad

whiteknighting on the internet doesn't get you laid, bro haha

>that guy that goes to get a drink of water after every fucking set
>that guy that just sits there in between sets finding songs for the next set
[Autism intensifies].jpeg

WHATS WRONG WITH OHP IN THE SQUAT RACK YOU FAGGET

Do you not feel disgusting?

>That one guy with long hair doing bicep curls staring at himself in the mirror while looking like a predator staring down prey who's listening to deathmetal so loud with headphones on that everyone in the gym can hear

>That fat piece of shit that puts in work, but sweats on everything.

I try to wipe my sweat off often, but I can’t help it.

>that guy that just sits there in between sets finding songs for the next set
>that same guy who waits for the chorus before lifting the weight

>uncountable amount of reps
>there is no bijection from set of his reps to any subset of the natural numbers

fucking gym asians

That why he only edges, bruh.
Everyone knows once you spill your goo you're instantly disgusted by yourself. It's the dark arts, my man.

Think about it. SQUAT rack.

I'm not going to OHP a pl8 and above outside the rack.

>that old guy who screams loudly after every single rep of any exercise.

>shut up incels
>time to white knight
You're just an incel that hasn't accepted it yet. They probably get pussy simply because they understand that the vast majority of women don't actually crave respect.

So blind people can hate them too.

I play the terminator theme song while deadlifting. I imagine that I'm Arnie and naked and slowly lift with a blank expression on my face every time.

learn to roll, saved me the hassle of having to talk to others

You called?

Post body

if you can't clean the weight, you shouldn't be pressing it

Is this Reddit The Greentext ?

>that thot "deadlifting" in the middle of free weight area with 5 kg dumbbells

I swear she's always there

>That guy who sings Eurobeat lyrics to himself between sets

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no
it's not like if you don't shower for a week you'll turn into a shambling pile of sludge

masturbate

>that red sweaty boomer who wears sandals to the gym and only does back and biceps
>that 12 year old white kid who hits dumbbell bicep curls with 5lbs
>that indian kid who made a fuck ton of progress in a couple of months and starts to mog you slowly

>those two dyel 20-somethings who come in every day and bench 155 lbs 3x5 with no warmup then leave

>getting mogged by a patel
You shan't let that happen. Start getting on gear.

Not sure why but those indian guys build muscle fast as shit.

>That guy who ends every set by muttering "weak" to himself

>that guy that head bangs and plays air guitar between sets
I was so sure I was the only one... you gotta be kidding me OP is this normal??

Based

how tall is he?

>that hairlet who who takes time in the mirror
>I purposely take longer to wash my hands so that he can go away and I can touch up my long hair
>he's still fucking there

What the fuck are you going to change anyway you dumb fucking cunt your hair isn't even an inch fucking long, think you're just going to change your expression and walk around with it the rest of the day? YOU LOOK THE FUCKING SAME YOU'RE JUST WAITING FOR YOUR EYES TO ADJUST TO HOW UGLY YOU ARE SO THAT YOU CAN THINK "it is not that bad", a couple of swipes over your shit short hair won't change your fucking LOOK

Just get the FUCK off and let people with long hair actually tend to their issues

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>that boomer who sweats like a pig
'tis I sir

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>Uses the rope attachment as a speed bag and dodges it when it swings back

That guy that goes out of his way to make conversation with women

KEK

>That guy who pretends to swing a baseball bat in between sets

>That guy who walks into the gym at the same time as someone else so he doesn't have to say hello to the person at the front desk
>That guy who always keeps his eyes down and never makes eye contact

I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.

I took a bar to the chest a couple days ago and rolled it off instantly
Some spot hero jumps in while I'm standing up and grabs one side of the bar
>While I'm standing up
>Grabs one side of the bar
Thanks bro saved my fucking life now let go so I can put this down

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You know other people have to lift in the gym with your smell, right?

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>>that guy who sips water between sets
>me between every set

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Yeah, that's... That's just you bro.

Post hair

>roided black dude who's at the gym everyday since he works there
>hippie punk with plugs who warms up for squats and only does squats
>two newbie dorks who follow their Chad friend and what he lifts
>stumpy buff guy who's in dwarf mode and wears heavy metal shirts
>qt azn personal trainer with a nice ass

i feel personally attacked

Fuck, I am water guy. drink about a litre every hour.

>that guy with the blank/bored expression and the dead eyes

>That guy who licks the sweat off of the hip abductor machine when the gym thots are done using it
It's me

they do not, I go to a school that's full of fucking pajeets and they're all DYEL and flail around with baby weights

>that guy who brings a goat to the gym and sacrifices it on the bench press to summon satan and sell his soul for gains
>that guy who squats so hard he breaks the fabric of our plane bringing for the undead legions of the danmmed
>The old boomer paladin improvising a lance with the bar and smiting the previous two while sipping blessed monster
Man, fuck them, every single fucking day

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>that guy who brings his own boombox and sets it up in the corner of the free weight area playing Anthrax

kek based autismo

this is me.
sometimes i do both at the same time

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>that guy who shits in the showers and pushes his shit through the drain lid with his heel.

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Is that true. I go to a few gyms in my city depending on where I am and usually the only smelly people are the serious overweight people.
The black guys at least here treat the gym like a social club.

Are you a dood? Probably checking you out

thats me

Ah yes, the waffle stomp

>that guy who fucking SCREAAAAAMS with every rep. 20lb curls? better scream. shrugs? it's screaming time. leg press? audible at the level of a shout from the other side of the fucking gym
nice enough guy aside from the screaming but holy shit I want to hurt him

And all of them are me

fucking crying lmfao

>that guy who finds an area of the gym to blankly stare at in between sets and once an attractive female moves within line of sight, will refuse to ever look in that direction until she leaves.

If you're a receptionist it's your fucking job to be the one to initiate eye contact to solicit a greeting until no longer possible. Not mine.

it's me

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If you don't do this:
FUCK YOU