/sig/ - self improvement general

I think this could be the case, I really dont know what I want. I almost feel like 95% of the things I do are just because Ive been told its the route Im suppose to take. How do I figure out what I truly want.

>fear of disappointment/ happiness/rejection is too big
Possibly, but if im being honest I dont really worry about these things. I think my problems might be elsewhere

Seriously thinking about selling it all
I remember before I had my PS4 and only Xbone, it got stolen so I spent a month without vidya
Looking back... I was much happier that month. I had so much more time to lift, cook, clean etc... and that was even though I began watching a full movie every single night instead of vidya. Yeah fuck this shit life is short, I'm out

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rip kamina 2 soon

Great OP pic

Call your mom.

Is there any woman at the moment you could still hit up?
Write down some thoughts you have when you think about doing that.
Every time you write down a thought, take a pen of different color and write "why". Then answer the question.
Ask why again with the different color pen.
Repeat.

I'm thinking about deleting 99% of my vidya too. Its such a time sink, although it's fine its basically making me delay the necessary shit i gotta do for the day.

How do I cure restless leg syndrome, anons?
I literally can't fall asleep lying on my back because of it, forcing me to sleep on my side, but I can never seem to get my head supported properly so my sleep sucks.

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Actual RLS? You should see a doctor.

Try this stuff:
pastebin.com/XpAGg8pn

If I'm lying on my back for a while I begin to feel some kind of weird pressure build up in my legs, combined with a feeling that they NEED to move. It's impossible to ignore, and when I try to wait it out the urge just gets increasingly strong and uncomfortable until I move them.

I'll try the stuff in the pastebin though, I know I should be cutting down on screen time and caffeine (even if it's just tea) before I try and sleep.

>21
>khv
>skeletor
>uni dropout
>NEET
>no friends
>no experience
>no passion or goals
>family hates me
What should I aim to change first?

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Get a job. Move out. Then start lifting.

>NEET
Fix this. Working with other people builds social skills, personal responsibility, opens your mind a little to other people, and you might even make friends along the way. Having disposable income allows you to pursue hobbies and passions you didn't consider before, and can help pay for things like weights and health food.

That sounds so annoying.
Hope the bin helps, but if not just see a doctor.

>Set realistic Goals
How to find out is some goal realistic or not?

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Make a list of steps

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Deconstruct all possessions and hit the streets. Get a physical no skill labor job. Make your life your job. Have no possessions. Eat well. Build a small saving. After a few months the world will be open to you. Be kind to literally everyone but make your own inner life total war.

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Does anyone have the old resources from when we were on Jow Forums, HD blew up.

>eat healthy food
>get delivery

so recently I've been thinking about how you can control you 'you' are, I mean all 'you' are is a combination of the activities you do, so I've written down who I want to be and now have a plan to work towards it, I've also written down who I don't want to be and things I should avoid so I don't become that

>Seriously thinking about selling it all
>deleting 99% of my vidya
Your life will take a new turn !

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I started doing this and it just made me realize im boring

Why would you sell Mein Kampf?

Fuck book
Marry lighter
Kill vidya

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My big thing recently has been taking an evening after work to make a fire in my fire pit and roast/smoke all of my meat for the week over the coals- turkey legs, pork chops, salmon, venison, etc. Last time I even buried a couple of garlic bulbs under some white coals and after about a half hour I pulled them out and they were perfectly cooked on the inside and smelled great.

Regardless of your political views Hitler is a horrible writer.

t. someone who has never read the book
This is such a stupid meme. Yes he didn't write in a traditional style but that doesn't mean it is bad. Personally I enjoyed how he wrote as if he was speaking.

>objectively things are going great
>22 and actually starting to get my life going after being a neet, lazy, fat bastard that didn't want to go to school so I wasted a "gap year" (more like 30 years) working.
>I now have a job I can dedicate lifting to, as I work at gym
>I'm going to school for chemistry degree and actually doing well
>I have a kind loving gf who is very down to earth, even my family likes her
>My family leaves me alone since they see my potential growing, despite not bringing much income in for them

But, family thinks I'm just the resident loser.
Even going so far as to telling me everyday that my accomplishments don't mean shit.
>"Hey i'm doing pretty well in class, I'm actually making my studies worth it despite not working much."
>Yeah well you're still broke so what do those grades get you?
>"Well hey I got a new job at a gym AND they pay me to workout so I can achieve my goal as a PT."
>Oh funny you got a minimum wage job, should've gotten something else.
>"...but at least i'm doing well in academics so I can get a degree"
>So? You don't have it yet so you're just stupid lol.

And to make it worse I have an insane libido and I feel like it's ruining my relationship with my girlfriend. When the gf isn't here I can't help but feel like I need validation from another woman. Or worse yet, when my girlfriend can't keep up with me, I feel sad and disappointed. Like I'm some freak that needs to stop being this way. I feel disgusted in myself but then in those moments I just crave another woman to sext me or just lust after me, I feel trapped despite knowing that my gf is the best thing to ever happen to me.
I don't know what I can do, cause even my girlfriend tells me that she can't handle the sex I put out sometimes and it makes me feel bad.

It's ridiculous, but I just know i'd be miserable without her especially dealing with getting shit on for everything I do, by my family. Yet, I can't get over my fucking self.

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Why oh God WHY would you ever buy discs?

I’ve only got one piece of advice for you.
Bee casual, bee yourself.

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People who've had your T levels measured, if you had low T what were the symptoms?

I can't stop getting envious of my friend success and I hate it. He'd my best friend and we both were kinda autistic, especially with girls (still virgins at 21), but we were happy and had a good time together. This year he went to study abroad
and he has meet a lot of new people and is getting a lot of attention from girls. I know I should be happy for him, but everytime he talks about this new girl he has meet, I can't help but get very jealous.
I try to remain stoic and think about my own self improvement, but desu when he says something it kinda ruins my mood and my day

How can I stop this toxic mentality and be happy about the progress of my friend?

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Daily reminder to keep around at least one hobby that you do purely for fun.
I was getting really burnt out on gym, work and hustle, and most of my old hobbies became chores. Now I started building Gunpla and it's a very calming, nice hobby, especially if your lifestyle is hectic and crazy by default. It's good to make most things about self improvement, but don't make everything about it - you're still human.

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>verytime he talks about this new girl he has meet, I can't help but get very jealous

You need to go meet people and especially girls. Maybe get off Jow Forums for a month or so before (and drop porn and fapping ofc) to make it easier. Obviously you are in desperate need of some social gains.

>this toxic mentality
And here's a big one: Don't beat yourself up about it, that's a womanly thing to do. Just evaluate why you feel like that, find the root cause and fix it.
>I can't stop being envious of my friend
>What am I envious about?
>Why am I envious about it?
>What can I do about it?

how do I deal with exam anxiety? Before exams I always get these diarrhea attacks, even if nothing is coming out its like a reflex that is trigerring every 10 minutes

I disagree with I am a planner, and a really good one. Give me any subject I can research the fuck out of it and give you the most optimal solution...the problem is it's all an illusion.

Let's say you are 280lbs, never workout out. Sure working out 6 days a week, and running 2 miles every 2-3 days and eating -1000cals everyday with lots of protein will net to really good weight loss...

the problem is you are going to fuck it up.

What used to happen to me is I would setup a "realistic goal", hey 1000 cals a day, that's 7K cals, so 2lbs a week, multiple that by 9 weeks, my goal is to be x-18llbs on date xyz.

You start and then fall on your face because I guarantee you on day 3 or 4 you are going to get sick and your body will hurt.

Optimal != realistic (when you first start)
Same thing with steps, how can you possibly know step 6 of a plan for something you have NEVER done before, or you have and fucked it up every time?

So the only solution IMHO is to set realistic goals that you can actually meet. So want to lose weight?

OK, step 1, track things on myfitnesspal for a week....don't set a goal to hit certain calories etc...you don't know what the fuck you are doing anyway.

Sure you can think to yourself, "huh, I ate 2500 and I am still hungry" or "you know today I ate a ton of broccoli and I am not hungry at all even though I ate 1,500cals". Those things are good to be aware off...but don't get let down that you have 4,500 calories because you ate a dozen donuts.

Then week 2, build on that, you tracked your calories? How about you go for a walk and try to keep how much you ate the same.

It might sound slow as fuck, but it works. The I make 100 realistic goals is dumb when you have not even taken step 1.

They key is anything you do, do it slightly better the next day. Took 5,000 steps, take 5,001. Went to the gym once this week, try for 2 next week.

Or you can fail a lot, feel like something is wrong with you and hate yourself...

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This is a perfekt post.
But, making a list of steps is still important.
Most people need it written down what they have to do, to be able to check it off and accomplish something.

Write down what you want and make a realistic goal setting in small steps, not everything at once.

Fuck them. Your family is toxic, I wouldn't be surprised that you went NEET because of how toxic your family is, which means they fucked with your self-esteem.

Granted everyone does that, when you are excited about something they somehow feel the need to bring you down.

If you can eliminate all toxic people. You do want people that are honest with you, so if you are about to fuck up or something stupid they call you on it. That's what good friends do, but if every time you are doing something good for yourself they bring you down, they just suck.

I think they are afraid, you are changing and that scares people. Stop talking to them about your shit.

In terms of the gf, maybe you should tell her that your sex drive is higher than hers. See if should would be willing to accept YOU being in an open relationship while she is only faithful to you. As a sex outlet thing. Figure out if she is OK with it...she will probably say no instinctively, but figure out why, and then see if you can work with it (as an experiment)

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"Yes"

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Does anyone here journal their day? Do you find it helps with productivity?

OK, I should probably clarify.

1. Setting up a big goal (I want a six pack, sleep with 50 women, read 100 books) is fine, but setting a date for a big goal that you have no idea how easy/hard it is for you is a recipe for failing
2. Steps are fine, but never 1-3 ahead of where you are, you can have a big I want to be doing X, Y, Z but I find it impossible to plan that far ahead with not enough information.

Obviously this totally depends on your goal and where you are at.

If you are 10% bodyfat and you want to hit 8%, you probably know what needs to happen. The problem is, and I am totally guilty of this, is being 45% bodyfat and making plans on how to get a six pack with steps.

The thing is you have no fucking clue.

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it helps a lot!
I always get out of that habit again but when I do it it improves greatly what I get done in a day.

Didn't help me personally. Feels like I'm a mental ward patient who needs to verbalise every little nonsense in their lives.

What helped me, not with "productivity" because I don't believe in it, but with anxiety is an exercise called "factualisation". Basically, when you experience any kind of emotion in relation to something, write down what the real hard facts are. E.g. I was angry about having to make a phone call to the company who decided to not pay me for a job. However, a lot of the emotion was simply made up. Only real hard facts matter.
PS: After I called there, they solved the payment for me within 30 seconds, so what exactly was I mad about?

Thanks for the feedback. How much detail do you go in to?

I do journal. It does not help with productivity, for me it helps with putting my thoughts in order. You have to think more clearly if you want to write your thoughts down.

I wish I was a better writer, but I am not...yet.

Pro tip if you start journaling, a year from now start reading your year old entry and then write the days entry. It's fascinating to see how you change from year to year.

I think we both meant the same.
Having that in mind to start with a realistic goal setting should help every newcomer.

Not that much, just 3-5 specific tasks I really want to get done on that day.
This already helps.

Having a routine is also important.
Waking up and doing some specific things each morning as first goal gives you a positive feedback for the rest of the day.

I've been using since new year an app called Daylio, where I can put how my mood was and what I did every day

user before you absolutely destroy your relationship by following this guys advice, put yourself in your girlfriends shoes.

How would you feel if she came to you and basically said "Hey I really love you but like, you're not fully satisfying me sexually so I wan't to go get railed but come back and cuddle with you" even if you ask her just as "an experiment" it's going to plant the seed in her head that will eventually cause her to become insanely insecure and honestly if she's a self respecting human she'd dump your ass right after you asked.

What you need to do is talk to her like a human being. Share with her that you're struggling with your high libido and see what she suggests, or maybe just jack off more my dude. It sounds as though you're pretty busy with life so I don't think your libido is a result of a boredom kind of thing so you may truly have high libido. But like I said, communication is key and tell her how you feel.

Someone screenshot this, this is the method that actually works. Most of you guys get 'motivated' and try to go hard for a month or so, then burn out and fail. This will prevent that.

Yeah? Then you just need to accumulate more experience and understanding. Read books.

Imagine if you never realized you were boring.

I either just got a date or organized a party and I have no idea which.

This is very correct. People constantly look for quick-fix magic pills and then do surprised Pikachu when they fall off the wagon or still feel empty and depressed.

Is this the first time you faggots heard of pacing yourself?
This isn't anything new or secret

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>See if should would be willing to accept YOU being in an open relationship while she is only faithful to you.

I would really love to hear your rationale on how you think this is a good idea.

Go ahead and suggest an open relationship if that's what you want but don't for a moment think that it's gonna work unless it's open for both.

gonna add that one to the mega archive folder with planning/journaling.

Remember what kind of people come here

It is for some you mongoloid
I swear you smugposters are the most retarded breed of DYELs on this entire board

Hardly the first time but considering how many times I see either "I lost motivation" or "I got everything I wanted but I still feel empty" posts, I think it's worth acknowledging every time someone makes a good post about actually putting the work in to improve yourself, even if it is the long route.

there are new people here in every thread starting from rock bottom.
Not everyone was born with ultimate wisdom like you.

Is it really smug if it's common sense? It's the same shit just about any self-help guide/website will tell you.

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All of these

Who here doesn't have a degree? What do you guys do fo a living? I'm 25 year old drop out and I want to finally get a real job. I've been working as a bartender and a bouncer for 7 years and I'm just sick of it. Thought about getting some kind of IT cert, but still not sure if it will be worth it.

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Mate, I dropped out of 3 different universities in three different countries. And was discharged from the army two weeks after being conscripted.
Granted, I still got a degree by the age of 25, but still.
You got 7 years of experience behind your belt. Not every 25-year-old has that. Play from there. Deal drugs or something.

Donit listen to this wigger.
If you have any money saved up i'd look in to vocational schools. you can get a shit ton of money by getting training in a specific job, plus they usually aren't that long a learning period.

Alright lads. I'm going to start this 7 day dopamine fast/reward system rewire this Sunday until the next sunday. I'll come back on monday after 7 full days. I bought meditations by Marcus Aurelias and I have some other books too. I'll also meditate. I'll post back when I finish

>You got 7 years of experience behind your belt

Yes, but 7 years of bartending and being a bouncer won't help me get a more serious job. I've put out my resume on job sites and the only jobs I get back are bartending, waiter, and being a bouncer. I can't even get a simple office admin job. That's why I've been thinking about getting some kind of IT cert. Even if it's in help desk, I still feel like it will still open doors for me.

forgot the pic ffs

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Yeah I've looked at other schools. Do you think it will be worth it to get a network + cert or even a A+ cert?

It's still 7 years of working as opposed to being a neet. If there's something like a community college available, look into that. Trade schools, certifications from the job centers.
Some IT jobs don't require qualifications. Stuff like customer support, community management and QA.

Different user. I don't know where you're from, but it's all about getting real qualification on paper. Any that you can get your hands on. I don't want to seem harsh, but 7 years of experience mean nothing, unless you wanted to keep working as bartender or bouncer. No other jobs will care about this experience. Qualifications determine much more than people are willing to admit.

Sauce: Degree and experience in working in HR.

This, I had a friend who wanted to work with animals, had shit tons of experience but half-assed his way to an associates of science, then acted shocked when he didn't get any calls back. Experience is very important but you can't quantify that into a statement that people can put an objective value on to, so they don't believe it/value it. You need that paper because the person hiring (should) have an idea on what it took to get that paper and can glean what you know from that.

If I meditate consistently enough is it possible to achieve a baseline mental state of permanent wellbeing similar to that induced temporarily by low doses of speed, phenibut, or mdma?

I am not theorycrafting here. If your sex drive is higher than your partners it's going to always be an issue.

She has no need for an open relationship, she gets enough sex. So it's an open relationship one way.

Regardless, of course you need to have a discussion first, see if there are some reasons, the thing is everyone rationalizes. She will say something like

> I am stressed
> I don't feel secure about my body
> I am so tired from work
> whatever excuse here

The thing is they are excuses and that's OK. I don't see a reason to shame someone because of their sex drive.

But if you sex drive is incompatible with your partner then you have three options
1. Deal with it
2. Break up
3. Stay with them and have an open relationship to have a sexual outlet

I feel like option #2 and #3 are the most viable for people's personal happiness. Cause let me tell you when you have kids and life smacks you in the face their sex drive will drop even more.

One of the keys of relationship negotiation is to be willing to walk away. Don't be a little bitch and break up with people because they put put the toilet paper roll the wrong way, but if they truly frustrate you it's time to move on.

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Maybe. Probably not. Not advisable though.

Nah, the option needs to be open for them as well. Like you said

>She has no need for an open relationship, she gets enough sex.

So you may as well let her have the same rules as you, after all she won't ever act upon them.

Wrong, that's how you become a cuck, by definition.

Why does the relationship have to be "the same rules as you". I am not some Jow Forums meme mind you.

Legit you can't treat everyone equally. Same applies for your partner. The thing is you have to figure out how both of you can be happy.

The is no reason for her to have an open relationship, there is for you. The end.

Well you can think like that if you want but the likely result is just a long cold stare and best case scenario is that she'll agree to pretend you never asked anything so stupid.

Could happen.

That's when you move on with your life without her.

And that's OK too.

Or maybe figure out why you are threatened by the idea of your gf having sex with someone else.

I mean it's nice to think that women have a self-esteem so high that they are immune to feeling "cucked" but I do think men have the same capacity and they should realize it.

If you are hungry and your gf is not. Do you make one sandwich or two?

You make one.

If you need to have sex and your gf does not, why would you open the relationship for both?

I have no need to disagree with you I just stated my opinion and you did yours. I think the guy posing the question can decide what he wants to do. Obviously we both have a limited perspective into his life.

Pretty sure you're samefagging, either that or you all need to stop

typing

like

this.

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Different user. Being cucked is not about self-esteem. Women see sex differently, for obvious reasons. To them being "cucked" doesn't mean anything since you do not own as a woman, you are owned at that point.

>If you are hungry and your gf is not. Do you make one sandwich or two?
>You make one.

Yeah but you don't tell your girlfriend that she isn't allowed to have one.

Don't be silly. Also, I won't.

Man, if that worldview makes you happy and helps you get what you need in life, do your thing.

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Looking for a Push Pull Lift Routine that is high volume, high hypertrophy. I am doing Upper Lower Monday Tuesday with a focus on power, and then on Wednesday Thursday Friday I would run PPL

Jeff Nippard goes over the PPL routines pretty well. Just don't be scared of adjusting it to your preferences and needs.

i finally got into a steady sleeping schedule waking up at 7am every day and when i visited the west coast for 3 weeks, 2 hours behind, i'd wake up at 5am every day. so im doing good on that.

my issue is i want to become popular as an artist, but most days i cannot bring myself to draw. and it's not that i'm wasting time doing other things like shows or video games, i'm literally sitting on this website reading about random shit or giving tech support or shop requests on /wsr/. I can't even enjoy a video game anymore, or sit through an episode of my favorite show. am i just getting old? im only 29 btw. i was a caricature artist at 6 flags (a big theme park with roller coasters) for a year back in 2008, and i remember having crowds of people standing behind me watching me draw and that was like the coolest thing ever. in february this year there was one or two days when i was visiting my parents where i'd open requests and do like 30 requests in a week, denying none, but that burst was short lived and soon i returned to not being able to do anything.

am i low T? should i get tested? i at least have the drive to go to the gym every few days. how do i force myself to pick up the pen?

pic related a thing i drew for a /wsr/ request that the op requested and then abandoned thread by the time i posted it

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Read War of Art.

reading it now thanks

>tfw have a bunch of non-dangerous but very bothersome health problems (would rather stay nonspecific about what they are) that negatively affect my quality of life and can't really be fixed
>this brings down my overall mood considerably
How do I deal with it?