At what age did not having a gf become a problem for you?

What did your dad say? Did he give you any advice on how to approach girls?

She's a good mom. She seems to genuinely care about me. But some of the things she did was very cruel.

When I was 12 I was very pale, and had acne. My head was goofishly out of proportion (and still is). I have no cheeks, but I have an overgrown browbone. I look like I have dwarfism. Anyway... when I was 12 my mom took a picture of me when I wasn't aware. A few days later, when the picture was developed (this was before digital cameras were popular), she came into my room and said "user i have something to show you :)". She showed me the picture of me, and I looked fucking disgusting. I looked terrible. My mom then said "hahaha look at your face! hahahaha!". I already felt pretty shit, but this just made me wanna kill myself.

Now, I am afraid of having my picture taken, and recoil in disgust whenever I see a picture of myself.

On my 18th birthday my mom wanted to take a picture of me. I said no. She then started laughing at me. My grandmother came up to me, held my arms, and started talking to me. Then my mom quickly took my picture. I looked goofy as fuck there, as well, and had an uneasy facial expression. I looked at the picture (digital cameras were popular now), deleted it, then went to my room and started self-harming.

Parents divorced when I was 8. My mom remarried shortly after, but my step-dad was very hands-off. He never really interacted with me, other than with small-talk. I didn't see my dad again until I was 19.

Probably around thirteen. That was when I realized how badly I wanted a woman's love, and soon after that I realized I wasn't going to get it. I'm twenty now and it's getting worse with each passing year. I don't know how much more of this I can take.

I do not see that as a problem. What I do see as one is the fact that I cannot interact with women to ask them out or even kissing them if on a date. My problem is not commiting at all to be with a female because of the fear for rejection. Up to date I still have this problem

Probably first year old middle school but the desire became unbearable my first year in high school. I was really innocent back then. I had a very sheltered life compared to my peers and I more or less assumed that the good things of life like having a gf just fell into your lap as you got older.

15 and things haven't changed ever since

t.19 yo gymcel

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Next year will be my first one without one (at 21, have been in 15 relationships total), I'll see if I start missing it but I think 1-2 years alone time will do me good so I can focus on other things.

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>have been in 15 relationships total
why are you even here
please just go away, you dont understand

It's comfy here, I've been coming here for the past 5 years.

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having a gf is what would be the problem
it would be embarrassing for both of us

Pretty late, at age 18 or so
I stopped caring again somewhere mid-20's

I never started caring until 24 when I got my first gf and then broke up with her (couple months ago). Now I feel a lot of pressure to get in another relationship. Sleeping alone sucks.

>single moms
>not even once

Jesus man. Your mom sounds like a giant fucking abusive cunt. I spent a lot of time alone in my room on the computer as a teenager. My mom would hint at the same thing yours did, but in subtle uninsulting ways. Several times when I wasn't getting the message she would yell at me that I was going to end up alone if I didn't change. She was a bitch at times and I am still angry at her for explosions of anger at me even when I was a small child. She really didn't and still doesn't know how to control her anger. But she never outright attacked my self-esteem in ways like that.

When I was 16, I got into cars and although I was still a bit of a social outlier but Ive had several girlfriends and have had sex with several women. I was engaged but broke it off due to her becoming a manipulative cunt. I'm 27 now. Women now are just complete garbage honestly. Only 5% are worth a shit. The only thing you're missing is being able to hook up. I started doing some thinking and research into the true nature of women while I was recovering from surgery recently. Started changing my approach in dealing with them and it's amazing because if you just deny them attention and compliments and treat them like the inferior beings that they are, they become putty in your hands.

What's your situation in life user?

>What's your situation in life user?
Went a bit like this...

>be 18
>want a gf
>think maybe if I go to college I'll get a gf
>go to college
>can't get a gf. talk to a few girls, but they don't seem interested in me
>4 years later. Finished college
>got straight As. Best in the class
>maybe if I get a car i'll get a gf
>get a car
>still can't get a gf
>maybe if I get a job I'll get a gf
>get a job. go into the job reasonably confident
>still can't get a gf
>coworkers laugh at my oddities. One girl comes up to me one day and says, "user, no one here likes you" in front of everyone. I respond, "yeah, me neither"
>start finding work more and more stressful
>one day my female boss is complaining to me that I didn't do something. Even though I asked her several times how to do it
>don't have the balls to stick up for myself
>she's proper laying into me
>don't make eye-contact. Feel like crying
>she tells me to look at her when she's talking to me
>start looking at her
>"user, do I make you nervous?"
>"errrrrr... maybe a little... I think e-everyone does, these days"
>she laughs at me
>coworkers laugh at me, too
>one coworker says, "hey boss lady... actually user did ask you how to do that thing. you just ignored him"
>boss lady ignores what my coworker said
>I become physically ill from the stress over the next few weeks
>start self-harming
>chug entire bottles of wine after each day at work then cry myself to sleep
>quit my job
>been NEET for the last 3 years
>think about killing myself every day

All I wanted is a gf :(

women should not be allowed in the work force
always such vulturous cunts

user just because a " Game over " sign comes on a game doesnt mean you don't have multiple respawns to try and become better than your previous time

What I mean by that is user pls try again , for your sake , just go to a club or something and chat up some girls while drinking a slight bit instead of bein a NEET

I believe user, go for it u fuckin faggot

The problem is that every time I go outside, I see how normal everyone is, and how much of a failure I am, and it makes me wanna cry. When I get home, I then cry, self-harm, and drink. After a few weeks of not going outside I feel less depressed.

If I go outside and try to have a positive interaction with people, it doesn't work. I always feel like a loser who can only manage to pull off faux pas after faux pas.

The time for change is over. I'm too old. If I couldn't be socially competent and get a gf in the prime of my life, what hope do I have now that I'm old, damaged, and hate going outside?

Even if I did get a gf, she'd likely be around my age. Meaning she'll have had like 30 different partners. She'd know how to have a relationship. I don't. It'd be imbalanced from the start. My inexperience would ruin the relationship, and I'd end up feeling no better.

Get you testosterone levels checked. They're probably pretty low. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume you don't eat very healthy or take care of yourself. That's step number 1. Eating properly and cutting out onions products will help get your testosterone levels back up.

It sounds like you lack the balls to stand up to people or for yourself. That's part mindset but often it's a lack of testosterone.

The problem with the gf thing is that's been drive in life it seems. If outside influence is the thing driving you, ultimately you will fail and go back into old habits. It needs to come from a desire to be the best possible version of yourself .

Women are attracted to a man with authority and the balls to put her in her place. The saying nice guys finish last is true. Being nice will make her pussy dry up the Sahara desert.

Start doing some research into the red pill. It will teach you the true nature of women and how men need to rule over them. But most importantly, it will teach how to become the best version of yourself. You need to fix yourself for you, not for someone else. For your own happiness. Women may follow after that but honestly it doesn't even matter. Your happiness won't come from a woman it needs to come from within. You think a woman may make it all better but it won't. I promise you it won't. I can speak from experience. You meed to be happy for you. It comes with baby steps. I'm still on the path, and believe me it's not the end goal that matters. It's the journey of improving yourself a little bit every single day.

You sound like you're in a bad pit of despair that's pretty deep. Start digging yourself out. Go to youtube and look up guys like sandman, turd flinging monkey, entrepreneurs in cars, aaron clarey. They're a mix of guys with different takes on the red pill. Some are mgtow's, some are pua's. I ignore the pua shit because it's garbage honestly. Just focus on the self improvement and true nature of women.

Dude your problem is that you're making women the focus of your life. Fuck that shit. Don't even think about trying to get with one. Improve yourself for YOU and YOUR happiness. You are still young. Men aren't even in their prime until their 30s and 40s. Men age like wine women age like milk.

Just stop fucking worrying about women man. Fix yourself to be happy for you. Also look up people like tom leykis and maybe stefan molyneux but he might not be relevant to your situation right now. Definitely tom leykis though.

>Get you testosterone levels checked
I've asked 4 different doctors if I can have my test levels checked 4 different times. They've just asked why I want them checked, I say that I'm depressed and I have mantits (despite not being fat). They just dismissed me.

>I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume you don't eat very healthy or take care of yourself
I do, actually. Cheap food is healthy.

>It needs to come from a desire to be the best possible version of yourself .
I can't do that. I don't care about being the best version of myself. Why would I, if girls don't like me? I may as well just stay a NEET.

>Women are attracted to a man with authority and the balls to put her in her place. The saying nice guys finish last is true. Being nice will make her pussy dry up the Sahara desert
Mhmm. That's a problem. I'm a yes-man.

>Start doing some research into the red pill
Already have. Why should I keep banging my head against a wall, trying to improve my life? I've been trying to improve my life since I was 17, and I'm unhappier now than I was before I tried improving my life.

Fundamentally, the issue is that you can only summon a certain amount of motivation to improve your life before you run out of motivation. The only way you get further motivation is by seeing progress. When I was at college, it was hard. I wanted to give up. But I kept going. Why? Because I could see myself improving. I became self-motivated. But, I'm such a social buffoon, that I never became more competent. My motivation ran dry. And I've never been able to see progress. Getting a job would seemingly make me more socially competent; it didn't. I became more socially withdrawn than I had ever been. What am I meant to do when I can't get the perpetual-motivation machine running?

>Dude your problem is that you're making women the focus of your life
Not really. I mean, I would like a gf more than anything else and always have, but there have been times where I stopped trying to get a gf for years at a time. When I got my job, about 2 months in I realized I wouldn't get a gf, but I kept working there anyway.

>Improve yourself for YOU and YOUR happiness
But how? Every time I've tried to improve myself it's just left me even more unhappy. How am I meant to have the motivation to keep trying, when it's like banging my head against a wall? There needs to be a light at the end of the tunnel to keep you motivated. I can easily get motivated by certain things. Getting Jow Forums was one of them. That's easy. You put the hard work in, you see the results. Fantastic! But socially, I put in the hard work, and didn't see any results.

You can only fail so many times before you are literally unable to try any further.

and thats the bitter truth. normies will tell you it's never too late, but many of us here never even stood a chance from the beginning
>You need to fix yourself for you, not for someone else. For your own happiness.
>Improve yourself for YOU and YOUR happiness.
this is such retarded advice. the whole >"work on yourself lol" meme that gets repeated here so god damn much is annoying
I have a job, a stable source of income, a lot of disposable income, I go to the gym 3 times a week, im happy with the way my body looks, i eat well and havent fapped in months
none of that fucking matters though. at the end, im still depressed, still anxious, still have no idea how to talk to people, and still a fucking khv never had a gf sperg.
what more can I fucking do in my situation? what more is there to improve?
>"hurrr uhh go to the club and chat up stacys xdd"
not like the type of women that would be at clubs would be the ones compatible with my personality type in the first place, the club is not the place for robots and introverts regardless.
you cant fucking improve social skills. that shit is ingrained in you during your formative years, and if you didnt catch onto it then you never fucking will. no amount of trying to force yourself to act like a normie will actually turn you into a normie. you'll just be a social sperg trying to fit in with the normal kids, and ultimately failing every time
like i said before, some of us were just fucking doomed from the start

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13-14. I busted my first nut when I was 13 so I was trying to get laid ever since. Honestly, I feel like porn was a mistake.

Listen user
Go for a walk early in the morning
Listen to music even if you dont like it
If people stare at you , subtly stare back at them , look at their left/right then look at their face

user r u aborted or wat , cause only aborted kids r doomed from the start , even actual autistic people can live through life

Ur an incel , change urself for urself , that's all I got user , I tried , if u want u try too

>u have a name/identity for a fuckin reason user
and what good has that identity done him for his entire life besides bring him loneliness, depression and pain?

>even actual autistic people can live through life
well of course, no one's doubting that
there's a difference though between just living through life, and actually living a meaningful, happy existence.
>ur an incel
no shit
>change urself for urself
I already did. didnt bring me any closer to being happy

>this will help reduce insecurity and social anxiety as you're looking / technically meeting people and getting used to it
Exposing myself to the outside world won't help reduce my insecurity and social anxiety. I was exposed to people every day at work for years, yet when I left work I was more insecure and socially anxious than before I started.

What would make me less insecure and reduce social anxiety is going outside, having a positive interaction with people, and NOT feeling like a social buffoon. That's the important part. You see, the problem is that I feel like I'm socially retarded, and that feeling is reinforced when I go outside and feel like a social retard. What I need to be able to do is go outside feeling like a social retard, but then interact with people and have my theories proven wrong when I instead socialize properly.

>And ffs stop self harming , it literally has no positive benefits
It definitely does. When I get depressed, I eventually get angry. Frustrated, rather. I'm sitting there, crying, and I feel like shooting myself. Instead, I just punch my right thigh over and over again until I feel better. I get depressed because I'm unhappy, and I get angry because I don't know how to stop being depressed. Self-harming lets me dispose of my anger in a safe way. If I didn't self-harm, I'd be dead.

stop talking like a nigger. are you phoneposting or something?

>You see, the problem is that I feel like I'm socially retarded, and that feeling is reinforced when I go outside and feel like a social retard.
thats very relatable.
for some reason every time I leave the house and interact with the outside world, I always without fail make a fucking fool of myself in some way and come back feeling worse than when I left. The only way to get better at socializing is to do it more, yet the very act of socializing makes me more depressed. it's a fucking catch 22 that normies cant comprehend.
>Instead, I just punch my right thigh over and over again until I feel better.
ah, at least you aren't a cutfag. I assume thats what that user meant when you mentioned self-harming.
just try not to escalate that shit into dangerous territory. I used to self-harm too back when I was younger because, just like you, I was so fucking frustrated with being a social retard and I didn't really know how to vent this frustration. So I started punching walls, over and over again until my knuckles bled. I'd move onto stabbing myself with pens, burning myself with lighters, etc.
problem is that extreme shit leaves scars on your body that take a very long time to go away. so now you have the added anxiety of having to hide your scars from people whenever out in public and hoping you don't get caught. wew.

Here's a good example...

>going to the doctors about something unrelated
>feeling a little nervous but not too bad
>in the waiting room
>talk to the receptionist. Say I've got an appointment
>suddenly overcome with nerves
>start getting tremors in my hands from fear
>try to stay calm
>receptionist tells me to take a seat
>few minutes later I've seen the doctor, and I'm going home

Now, that interaction wasn't terribly bad. I feel as though no one could tell how scared I was. However, I came home having not felt good about that interaction. I felt worse. I felt as though someone like me shouldn't go outside. And because of that, the next time I went outside, I felt even worse.

You see, I go outside feeling as though I'm a socially incapable, and I come home feeling as though I was right. I need to be proven wrong. And proven wrong reliably.

Go for a psychiatrist user

>The only way to get better at socializing is to do it more
Wasn't the case for me. I socialized a lot at work, yet I was more nervous a year into the job than on my first day. The only way to get better at socializing is to do it often, and do it successfully. I was talking to people all day every day; but without having consistently positive experiences, I gradually became worse.

People have varying levels of social confidence. That level is determined by how successfully they can pull off social feats. There are some people who rarely socialize, yet are socially confident because they are socially competent. There are other people who socialize for a living, yet are socially unconfident because they are not socially competent.

Exposure means nothing. Positive exposure is what you need.

>ah, at least you aren't a cutfag. I assume thats what that user meant when you mentioned self-harming.
Nah. I don't have a knife on me at all times. But I always carry my right hand on me. My leg can get quite bruised, but it's always healed just fine.

>problem is that extreme shit leaves scars on your body that take a very long time to go away
I used to punch myself in the head until one day I got a massive bloody lump on it. I figured I should self-harm in a way that won't leave me brain-damaged.

Go for a psychiatrist or therapist user

24.

Everyone I went to highschool/college with was getting married and I was still beating the meat to internet porn. 3 years later and still no gf.

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I have. 3 times over the last decade. They didn't understand the severity of the problem. It's very easy for me to express my thoughts when I am given the time to write them down in the privacy of my home. The post you replied to gives you an example of a social problem I had, and why it's a problem. It was a great post that properly illustrated the issue.

But when I'm talking to someone in real life, it's completely different. When asked, "so user what's the problem?", instead of giving a detailed anecdote and analysis, I instead say "hurr durr i'm unhappy".

Why the repost?

user u talk to ur mom / dad / relatives ?

Wasnt sure whether psychiatrist or therapist so said both

Last time I said to my mom that I'm unhappy and think about killing myself she started shouting at me, asked me why I'm trying to hurt her (???), and then threatened to kill herself. I can't ask her.

My dad just told me that I need to get a job and stop being a disappointment.

im more upset about not having any friends at all than a gf

probably fake and definitely gay

What makes you think it's fake? My mom said girls wouldn't want anything to do with me. Is that so hard to believe?

>he didn't have pieces of shit raising them while growing up
literally why are you even here faggot? fuck off

At around 14-ish for the first time, but it came and went. Now, I don't want a gf or BF at all. I've never had one, I will probably never get one, and I'm happy with that.

About 26, 3 years ago. I knew I will die in loneliness since my adoloscence, but it didn't bother me somehow. But something broke inside me and /feels/ came in and threw me into, let's call it, 'depression' since I'm not diagnosed nor been to a psychologist. Stopped enjoying hobbies and activities I used to have and started spiraling into deeper shit constantly lowering self esteem (which was pretty low already). Now I reached point of not coming back I think and often praying to God for some fatal accident, terminal illness or enough courage to off myself.

Wish me luck, anons

Every time I have a dream where I have a gf, I wake up and realize just how unhappy I am.

the gf dreams are always the worst

It didnt become an actual problem until I turned 25. At about that time, my grandparents started pressuring me to find someone, not realizing they were making it worse.

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