How I'm living atm:

how I'm living atm:
>drink everyday and browse chan/twitter/youtube
>can't enjoy porn cos of SSRIs
>30, live with mother
>room covered in pissjugs and rotting food
>never leave the house
>only leave room to smoke weed and re-fill drink
>wake up with physically painful panic attacks and just lie in bed in shock
>recovering from xanax/benzo addiction and dream about them often
>in love with my best friends wife, I barely see them because it hurts to be around her
>still in love with my ex-gf of a decade too, even tho she's a crazy bitch
>no skills, talent, trade

Attached: 17316551.jpg (485x487, 52K)

You have over 30 years left to live. You will come up with solutions over that time, and it will be a source of pleasure for you to solve problems that have troubled you much in the past.

So what? Why the fuck should I or anybody else care?

Are you just wallowing in your own crapulence for self-pity points? The fuck do you want?

>inb4 (You)s nyehehehe (pepe.bmp)

just for a matter of public record/catharsis/boredom - this is r9k dumb faggot, hardly a rare type of post

and this isn't self-pity, I'm kind of proud of how degenerate I have become - I've surpassed my own expectations. It's funny nigga

You could have just said 'i desperately seek negative attention, having given up on myself as a lost cause' when I mistakenly assumed you wanted positive attention in the form of self-pity

I mean if youre going to be loser at least own it.

Rock on OP may you piss jugs never spill, your mother never kick you out, your internet be quick and your head held high.

You should probably lay off the benzos and booze though- nasty stuff.

you are an autist who doesn't understand self-deprecation as a form of bonding

yeah I'm off the benzos - 10mg diazapam every now and then to taper. I don't plan on being a boozhound for too long. just gotta find a job, get a gal and have her curtail my nonsense. Otherwise, I'm happy to laugh at my NEET self

On the contrary, you sound like someone with an absolutely pathetic existence and I have no desire at all to bond with you.

'haha im dumb and pathetic and a loser' isn't inherently funny. You're not inherently funny, cuz in the end you're still living in your own filth. Ha ha, laugh at the trash man gets old real fast.

>just gotta [...] get a gal and have her curtail my nonsense
And you're waiting for someone to come rescue you. Are you even worth rescuing, or are you going to squat in your fetid stank and post on the internet about how cuh-razy you are forever?

how I'm living atm:
>drink everyday and browse chan/twitter/youtube
Replace drinking with popping pain pills, no twitter and thays me.
>can't enjoy porn cos of SSRIs
I was on Prozac for 2 weeks but I didn't want to be on them anymore so I flushed them and haven't picked up a refill.
>30, live with mother
29, turn 30 in february. I also love with mom.
>room covered in pissjugs and rotting food
I have a bunch of empty water bottles and some dirty clothes lying around.
>never leave the house
Only for work pretty much.
>only leave room to smoke weed and re-fill drink
Smoke ciggs, sometimes weed, grab water bottle, snacks.
>wake up with physically painful panic attacks and just lie in bed in shock
Happens to me but not too often, have a good amount of anxiety throughout the day though, especially just before i leave for work.
>recovering from xanax/benzo addiction and dream about them often
Never have been a full blown benzo addict, I sometimes mix them with pain pills though.
>in love with my best friends wife, I barely see them because it hurts to be around her
The "friends" I have are pretty much non existent at this point. Haven't seen any or talked to any of them in over 8 months
>still in love with my ex-gf of a decade too, even tho she's a crazy bitch
Not in love with her but I still fuck her once every 4 to 6 months. She's definitely crazy and crazy cunts fuck good.
>no skills, talent, trade
No skills, talent, trade. I want to learn a trade, though.

Attached: 1546103159655.webm (846x476, 1.98M)

haha what kind of person are you? If you had anything going on in your life that was fulfilling you DEFINITELY would not be posting and replying here. You are projecting, like r/iceltears. Degeneracy is funny, because everyone is a degenerate and can relate to some extent

fuck man that webm is gonna stay with me. good luck with your life and shit tho

>You are projecting
>Degeneracy is funny, because everyone is a degenerate
Oh honey. All you've done so far is get angry at someone who's challenging you a little; you know, for someone who apparently loves to laugh at themselves, you're mighty defensive.

i'm not angry faggot, I'm eating BBQ lamb chops and drinking - having a fine time, you're the supercilious cunt who's arguing with untermensch on r9k

God damn that is a sad webm

>i'm not angry faggot
... anyway, you were so busy NO U-ing that you missed where I was engaging with you. Here it is again: are you even worth rescuing, or are you going to squat in your fetid stank and post on the internet about how cuh-razy you are forever?

not sure dude. Can't to the fetid stank forever for sure. I'm no sadist, I have virtues, so I could be worth something to someone

So then why not start out by, say, removing pissjugs and rotting food, so your worth to others increases?

Plus, you could start to like who you become, instead of being Pagliacci the Grouch online. That's why I'm probably sounding frustrated with you.

I totally get the frustration, and believe it or not - I understand how to get better and all the steps involved. There is just some deep behavioural problems with me that are as strong as muscle memory - also the anxiety. Anxiety sounds like a cop-out, and some people must use it as one, but I fucked up my ability to deal with natural anxiety by abusing benzos.

I plan to fix my shit, and know where to start. Cleaning/abstaining from self destructive behaviour/job seeking/exercise/reading. I never thought I'd stoop this low, but If i can't laugh at myself, that's the end

I don't judge (You), faggot.
Do whatever you want.
can I buy your mom for a few private hours?
>how much for the hooker?

Glad to hear those SSRIs have helped you, bro.

how i'm living aka my personal blog
>go out with my quasijunkie friends ~5 times a week and drink, smoke, snort speed
>other than that i browse internet, play online chess, sometimes try producing music but i never get anything down, walk solitary walks when i'm starting to completely lose my composure
>i used to read books and be a whole lot smarter, i would play the guitar too
>sleeping patterns are fucked, i'm constantly oneirophrenic and speak word salad in high frequency
>live with parents
>no job, nor interested to get one, no interest to study anything either
>no car nor drivers license
>i fuck this girl i don't even find particularly attractive and whom i wouldn't really want to be in contact with either (she's heavy to be around with, she's way too fast paced and social for someone like me - also she's schizophrenic)
>still think about this one girl whom i really fell in love with then again, i never really got to know her, so i guess it's just the "image" of her that i can't shake off but we never got anywhere
>feel like im completely stuck in life
>no one understands me

fuck this shit