Robot House

oh god oh fuck oh jeeze i'm sorry

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Reporting in you gu-

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anti-reverse nuke technology
get nuked again faggot

MY FUCKING MILK. NOW HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THESE SPICY WINGS

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don't worry bro, i *urp* got you

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AND MY FUCKING WINGS. I HATE IT HERE. IM RUNNING AWAY AND EVER NEVER COMING BACK

"Where are my mom's ashes guys?.....Hey ! Did you snort them again?"

you'll be back

also can you pick up some tendies at Aldi's on your way back? I'll get you back

I used them to absorb the milk. You really should put labels on things so i know whose they are...

SORRY

tourney?

yeah!
ban fox falco marth and sheik though

As long as it's not melee I'm in.

There's never any goddamned hot water in this shithole
What the fuck are you all using it for? Why is it always out when I need it?

dude there's never any water, you gotta pump the well out back.

just ask one of the non hikki's to do it for you

I need ALL TRAPS AND SISSIES TO COME TO MY ROOM it's time for your boipuccies to be pumped full of boicum

I will but loser has to suck the winner off! I'll try not to lose on purpose ;)

I got dibs on the trap with the 8 inch boiclit shes mine senpai

Hey fellas im going out to get some food, yall want anything?

can you pick me up a dominos hawaiian pizza?

>going out

someone tell this fuckin' normal he's not allowed back

I want a cheese pizza and a dildo for my boipucci if you can swing by the adult store you won't regret it uwu

Sure thing bud.
Guess which faggot isnt getting anything?
No user this is your 3rd cheese pizza/dildo run this week, im cutting you off.

>roommate found the cum cavern

>Its another "cant sleep because of feels so I take a hot shower at 5am for 45 min to compensate for emotiobal warmth" episode

I saved all the Chick-fil-A gift cards my parents give me here go buy a catering deals worth of nuggets

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>wake up to alarm beeping at 6:am
>wipe my eyes and sit up
>reach down and grab my clothes
>user leans down from the top bunk and says "have a good day at work wagie" in a smug manor
>look away and get out of bed
>the room is really dim, the only thing you can really see is an user on his gaming pc playing some loli eroge game
>walk over pile of cumrags and leave
>"ONLY 3 MORE DAYS WAGIE TO GO WAGIE AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
>walk over a few anons who are sleeping
>some are on laptops not making eye contact with me
>bump into one
>he bites my leg
>i pull away and keep walking
>make it to the bathroom
>"does anybody need to go?"
>"..."
>open door
>someone put jizz on the fucking doorknob
>there's piss all around the toilet
>sigh and wipe it off
>I swear I heard someone giggling
>get in shower after moving like 9 12inch dragon dildos
>no one claims them but they're starting to pile up
>shower and hear banging on the door
>finish and get clothes on
>open the door finally but the only thing there is an abnormal pile of shit
>the lights dim a little from power strains from the anons in the basement
>walk pass user again and go downstairs
>make it downstairs and see someone in a wig and cat ears wearing nothing but a skirt, passed out on the dining room table
>decide to never eat there again
>look again and something seems off
>decide to go check on them
>"hey"
>"HEY, are you alright?"
>"nyaaaaa~"
>walk away
>grab my shoes and head out the door
>make it 3 feet away from the house and 7 cop cars speed passed me
>they drive in the yard and kick down the door
>hear a muffled "get on the ground fucko!"
>the police walkout with pc user, his computer, and a prisma illya body pillow in custody
>question why and how they handcuff a body pillow
>look at the time and realize i'm about to miss my bus

Do we have a basement? Someone keeps mentioning a basement and I don't see one.
It explains the smell from beneath the floorboards

There are three dudes who live in the basement and they constantly larp about living in some fantasy sci-fi infinite tower block. God they're the most annoying faggots. Watching them pretend to be spacemen explorers or whatever creaking up the stairs to get tendies from the kitchen while they mouthbreathe into pretend walkie-talkies.

>*wheeze* l-logdate s-seven uhm..five a-alpha
>have *wheeze* made it to *farts* t-thuh t-third level. T-there a-apears tuh b-be suste-*snort* suste-
>thur appears to be food o-on this floor the expedition w-will press on after we r-rest for a while

None of us have jobs or anything.
Can we get some DND going, cause we've got time.
I'll DM

can everyone stop downloading blu-ray anime rips for 30 fucking minutes, i just want to play minecraft

Why the fuck did I choose to room with the asianbots? I dont speak Chinese and this one dude keeps complaining about his grandparents forcing him to go to a city in china or something.

Okay maybe I have it pretty good.

>he didn't pick the doomer wing of the house
it's pretty good over here user. Just the smell of cigarettes is harsh. Sometimes a trap comes by because it has a sunken eyes and bandage fetish but we usually get them to leave pretty quick.

(also who took my copy of super mario sunshine I swear to god I'll stop filling up the fridge for free)

The apartment threads were cooler.

>not living in the abandoned bomb shelter underneath the backyard
smart choice honestly. i'm pretty sure one of my roomies has killed himself but we can't find the body. we're waiting another month until we split up his drugs and hold a funeral.

>Get home from mcjob
>"Tadaima"
>Take off shoes
>Neet user is standing on the top of the stairs wearing a tux and giving me a smug look
>Raises a glass
>"I'd like to make a toast to user"
>"Thank you for wageslaving your days away to maintain my lavish lifestyle"
>"Thank you jannies for doing it all for free"
>"Oh, and one more thing, FUCK NIGGERS"
>Everyone cheers
>A nearby janitor takes neet user away

>Go to fridge to grab something to eat
>Hear sobbing
>Its some random girl
>next to her is an empty bowl
>other anons in the kitchen wont make eye contact
>Clears throat*
>"Are you o-ok, do-"
>"Do I not look ok? I have a boyfriend you know"
>"I just was wondering-"
>"WELL if you must know....some nice guy found me passed out at a park"
>"He walked me to his home like a gentleman"
>When we got inside I saw his face in the light holding a bowl of eggs
>He said I had to eat all of them
>I ran in here for my life because eww eggs
>I called my boyfriend chad yesterday and been here
>"where is your boyfriend"
>she pulls out her phone and ignores me
>grab some chicken wings and go into the living room
>some user is streaming yuru yuri
>grab a seat while 6 of us crowd the tv
>comfy.wma
>in the distance hear music blaring
>*boom boom crash*
>"Which one of you fuck heads kidnapped Stacey!?"
>Stacey runs to chad crying
>chad flips out
>he walks towards us
>2 Jow Forums anons block his path, standing on their tippy toes
>"pshh whatever, let's go bitch"
>"ok chad"
>They leave
>...
>"AKKARIN~ HAI, Yuru Yuri Hajimaru yo!"
>Start watching next episode

>9 minutes into the episode see cop car out of window
>It's user and his body pillow
>he runs inside
>sup fags, got out early because I bribed the pigs with 4000 bitcoin (.30cents) today
>some user goes into the police database
>anons body pillow was charged with conspiracy to take down the government
>user just went for questing
>Why she is out now is a mystery not listed in the database
>get tired and go to room

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>Not living in the attic
Worst Wi-Fi connection but at least there aren't much people up here.

>*questioning

Okay guys who took my laptop, I need that shit for my classes.
I swear to fuck if someone used it as a frisbee again Im going to lose my fucking mind

Some faggot stole my turpentine. Please return it.

Jesus fucking christ, that's what the smell was.

um... about that...

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gentlemen
we have a pressing matter to attend to

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LOWER THE FUCKING MUSIC I DONT CARE ITS 5 PM IM TRYING TO STUDY YOU PIECE OF SHIT

hooligans, all of you

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leave me alone fags i'm busy browsing r9k

If youre willing, please stop by lucky's market and pick up a roast beef sandwich the way it comes and some cherry coke