Tell me about your parents

My dad is horrible at transmitting his emotions, whether he wants to or not. He has a very twisted and awkward way of showing affection to people, and while I know he loves me, I wish he could be more normal about it.

Twisted how?

Yes.
They were divorced and very antagonistic of eachother.
I had to play negotiator and try not to get any of them pissed for staying 5 more minutes with dad or staying with mum for a weekend.
I also had to personally collect alimony from when i was a kid since they refused to meet each other in person

No. My mother was aloof and my father worked 18 hour shifts daily. My mother was a devout Catholic with a low IQ. My father was a Jewish Communist psychopathic child rapist.
Tell me about your methods Freud.
Were they ineffective and designed to fleece people?

My parents were both very successful and were active and connected politically. So there were plenty of contexts in which they expressed themselves openly and even forcefully.

Unfortunately, my dad was a philanderer and my mom knew, but it would have been class suicide for them to divorce, so they stayed together and simply never expressed even the slightest domestic emotion. In fact, most of the time they never *spoke* to each other, inside the home. That was their defense mechanism, because the alternative would have been to fight and rage at each other in front of the kids, and they would *never* have done that.

So I grew up to be pretty adept at interacting with other people, EXCEPT for expressing emotion or attraction to women. A really fucking bad trade, actually.

>growing up
>mother always favored older brother, would let him share the bed with her until the 3rd grade, taught him how to use the computer, spoiled him, ect.
>Father was away on long distance truck driving, whenever he came back my parents would fight to the point of telling us kids they were divorcing
>As an extremely young kid my mother forced me to admit which parent I wanted to live with, had no idea what was going on and said I didn't want to lose my dad
>She always favored my brother more openly from that point forward
>Father eventually earns the schedule to be home everyday, now fighting more regularly
>Whenever we went out in public together my mother would always walk off with our brother and I would either go with my father or be alone
>This continued on through high school
>Wholesale stop talking to my parents unless required, still haven't spoken to my brother since 2011
>Parents decide to move across the country to Florida but wait until my brother graduates highschool first
>"Can we wait until I graduat-"
>Forced to move and restart life at age 15
>Attempt suicide twice at this point, have virtually no home life
>Parents eventually patched together their marriage somewhat and now only fight once a week, blame me for "dividing up the family" for not talking to anyone
>Currently 21, halfway through college, moving out next year with zero plans to contact them afterward outside of a card for Christmas or parents day
I fucking hate ever thinking about my homelife. On the flip side I have an amazing social and academic life due to the motivation to leave.

>I had to play negotiator and try not to get any of them pissed for staying 5 more minutes with dad or staying with mum for a weekend.

That's really tough, bro. You decided that it was YOUR fault if they got angry over FUCKING NOTHING. Not their fault for being dicks - your fault, for staying five minutes too long.

That's gotta have fucked you up real good.

Dad was an angry alcoholic never beat me or anything but would get a few inches from my face and just scream at me anytime he felt like it and when I would try to get away he would grab me and just keep it going, he cleaned up after my mother left and is okay now

Mother was about the same just less alcoholic, prone to fits of anger would just randomly start shit with my dad which is usually what would lead to him yelling at me they never hit each other or anything but there was just constant yelling, beyond that I can't really say much about her personality like she was kind of just blank the only hobby she seemed to have was spending massive amounts of money and arranging flowers, she left my dad shortly after I graduated high school which ended up massively fucking me over and forcing me out of college on to a shit job and eventually neetdom, I really want to hate her but she ended up marrying some rich old man who she's clearly just waiting to die and now pays my rent while yelling at me to get a job so I don't know

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Yup. Because of all this, i tend to overthink fucking everything i do.
Any action i make, any word, i have to think about what someone could think out of it.
Like, when i was little, i had to pick the right time and approach dad the right way to tell him to pay up so i dont look like a freeloading cunt or when i wanted to go to dad's for a family gathering or to grill, i had to tell mum the right way so she doesnt think i'm favouring him over her.
It was fucking hell and even today where i'm living alone, it still exists for who i choose to go over for holidays to or whatever

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I fucking hate the both of them. My father for being an alcoholic and my mother for not breaking up with him.

My dad was a violent, schizophrenic paedophile who physically, verbally, emotionally and sexually abused me.
My mum was a depressive bitch who was physically, verbally and emotionally abusive

Can not wait until they're fucking dead

Other people's emotions aren't your fault, dude.

They really aren't.

I know, man.
But even if i aknowledge it, i still cant help but overthink daily stuff.
Like, i make a super big deal out of looking the cashier at the local store the wrong way or having a pose in the bus and stuff and i think it's related.

>Like, i make a super big deal out of looking the cashier at the local store the wrong way or having a pose in the bus and stuff and i think it's related.

Of course it is. You don't want to be the cause of conflict, and since ANYTHING YOU DO can potentially cause conflict, you're incredibly self-conscious about even trivial actions.

Best parents.
I'm 32 in a few weeks and live at home and don't pay a penny and haven't worked in years.
They just want me to be alright.
I'm a mummy's boy too.

Everything was fine for years, I moved to Brighton for like 4 years but shit fucked up and I got suicidal and alcoholic and since 2011 been at home a mess, but my parents put up with me and feed me and try push me in the right direction.

Exactly.
Now what, doc?

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>Dad was an engineer who had the world shit on him. He is the most angry, direct, and truthful person you will ever meet. He would beat you, mock you, yell in your face (all WITHOUT alchohol btw.) like his daddy did to him. Yet everytime he predicted something or stated knowledge. He was always correct. ALWAYS. So when he said things like "You only care about yourself" or " You don't wanna listen" I believed it. He had such a good record of never being wrong I took his words as holy schripture no matter how much I hated hearing them. He was very prominant about my upbringing and would help me with school in the most Unsettling, fearful, "If I don't spell this word rght he'll spank me" way imaginable. I remember writing words over and over and over yelling them out load out of his threat. "ANONYMUS. A....N....O...N.....Y.....M...U *THUMP* *THUMP* Oh please Dad nooooo!"

>Mother was an veternarian, would go out long nights at work to come home to us. Because my big scary dad she was my protection I would hide in my room while the two would yell it out. I always liked my mom because I associated her with this sort of salvation. She would even comfort me after one of dad's beatings.
Then I got a bit older.
>Dad was still pointlessly aggressive, but this time I was used to it. Hardened by it. A few times I would talk back to him. Sometimes I would even hit him back. I think I even managed to bruise him a few times, but it still was a thirty year old man vs a middleschooler so you can expect how those turned out, but he beated me less and kept his distance. I was no equal to him, but now he knew that I could hurt him back.
>Mom was still supportive and protecting, but I began to notice what I thought was niavity. Later on I would figure this out as lying to get my hopes up. She knew the truth she just didn't want to admitt it. The only time I heard her honest opinion, like dad's, was when she was angry.

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Continued from last post.
>Both Mom and Dad would begin to get me paranoid about my grades. They would always demand I study more to the breaking point. Constantly plant doubts of "You're gonna fail" "You're going to have to repeat a grade" "People are going to think you're a retard user." This would make me paranoid and not relying on hope.