General talk and life advice thread

Ex-gifted kid, I feel like I'm about to blow my brains out. I am left with no friends after the only people who I've ever felt a connection with left me because of my mental issues. I fell in love with my ex-best-friend and yes, we were both guys. He didn't return my feelings, and friend zoned me although he pitied me. I'm left with no closure. I love him and miss him so much. At the same time, I hate him, and I want to fucking kill him. Sometimes I feel like my whole life is over, and my dreams are dead, and I'm just waiting to kill myself.

Can I just have a (you) for no reason?

>mental issues
I'm not sure if you meant this but falling in love with someone is hardly a mental issue. The feeling itself is normal and happens to almost everyone so no reason to beat yourself up about it.

Why do you feel with no closure? I assume when you mean he friendzoned you that he still wants to be friends with you and at least you talked about your feelings which not everyone manages to do. You can be proud about that! Don't beat yourself up over loving him, love is a powerful but temporary emotion. It comes and goes with time and even beside that there is no reason to be ashamed to feel that way or another. In the end the only thing that counts is how we act and process these feelings. Life will go on and it's okay to feel sad and down from time to time. After all without sadness you wouldn't appreciate the times when you are happy.

And as obvious as it sounds your life is only over if you think it is. Living means moving on and stagnation means death. The key to happiness, in my opinion, is to accept that we will have to face new things everyday and no matter how much we try we can't return to a previous state of life. So why worry over things we can't change anyway?

Sure, dear user. Do you want to talk about something?

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I really want to kill my mother's dog. I won't because I don't want to get into trouble, but still.

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Why do you want to kill it, user? Does it annoy you?

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Why did we give women rights

Really just having trouble with the first life hurdle. Don't want to be a basement dweller student anymore and trying to find a job that doesn't end with me behind a counter or stocking shelves. Any advice?

Something like that. He's all alone for most of the day with no one to tend to him, I'm the first one to get home most days and I have to clean up all his piss and shit and feed him. I never wanted a dog in the first place but my mother did for some inane reason.

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Threads like these are really cool, user.

For the last year or so I've had this intense desire to be someone else. I wont say who, but I've changed hair color, done physical modifications, gotten a tattoo, all in an effort to be less like me and more like that person. It still feels like I can't let go of the me that I really want to though, that its so easy to fall back into the comfortable, mediocre me instead of being the great person I want to be, and I dont know where to go from here. This person is the same age that I am now too, so I'm running out of time to make these changes. What's the final push that I need to make to get there? Why am I so willing to make huge changes like permanently modifying my body, but not simple mental changes to get there?

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Find a factory job. They'll be better paying and alot of them will take anyone as long as you're willing to work and show up on time.

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Why wouldn't we? Over all the history of humanity many bad and cruel things happened. From tyranny, genocide and even a few world wars there isn't much we haven't tried. Now after all these things we decided that it would be better for everyone if we started to treat all humans as equal or at least tried to. Women are part of our society and have the potential to positively contribute just as many men do so why would we deprive us of this?

I know this might be a bait question but I've met many intelligent and nice women in my life just as met many not so nice ones. Just as I met wonderful men and many assholes. I see no reason to prefer one sex over the other. There are differences that are based in biology but let's be frank, this board is not exactly the place for objective information. And in the end the similarities matter more in my opinion.

First you should find out what kind of job you prefer. Try to be realistic but don't be afraid of risk. No years are wasted as long as you enjoy wasting them and learn something. Do you have any plans as of now?

Have you talked about your mother about that? I mean I don't think it's nice to kill an animal if there are other alternatives like giving them away. It sounds like you (as a family) don't have the time required for keeping a pet if they piss and shit inside.

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I'm fine with factory jobs. I am actually incredibly fit aside from weak lungs from respiratory problems as a kid. I was actually waiting for UPS or something to open up a factory job in my area, but it seems unlikely since all they're offering is office work I believe I'm unqualified for.

>Have you talked about your mother about that?
I have and she doesn't care and is not giving him away, dumb cunt has a fetish for keeping things around she can't take care of apparently. Sometimes I kick the thing around or bite his skin and it gives me a chub, I'm worried.

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Okay here is some god tier advice straight from Jow Forums. Install gentoo. It will make your computer sooper fast and btfo microsoft instantly. And it only costs $0.00 usd and 20 years. Install today!

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Let's be frank, it's impossible to be someone else. No matter what you do, you'll always stay you. Of course you can try to mimic someone but you will never be exactly like them. Your story is a unique one and one can't change the past and your past defines who you are now. Mental changes can be done if you really try but it will obviously be very hard and never be identical to another person. There is no final push as there is no goal to reach but having said that your best bet is probably to think short term and try to remind yourself the way you want to act. Fake it until you make basically. Day over day, decision by decision.

Honestly, I believe your mission is set up for failure and will probably lead to misery and self hate. It's not wrong to want to change oneself but while doing so you must also accept yourself the way you are now.

>but it seems unlikely since all they're offering is office work I believe I'm unqualified for.
Don't be afraid to apply anyway. The worst that can happen is that you are ignored but an application is done in less than a few hours. It's great that you are fine with factory jobs but don't limit yourself to just that. There are many other jobs that involve exercise and an apprenticeship might be right up your ally.

Well, that does unfortunate. Honestly your only solution is to move out if your mother doesn't want to cooperate. Make it clear how important it is to you. Don't be worried, humans are not fluffy balls of goodness and we all have a sadistic side. The important thing is to properly act on your feelings and to not let them overwhelm you.

It does sound though that the dog might not be your biggest issue here but your relationship to your mother. Do you often have conflicts like these?

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I don't have a stable job so moving out is out of the question for now.
>Do you often have conflicts like these?
Not really. We're not super close and I kind of hate her but we usually don't argue or even talk.

Apprenticeship? What's that like? I imagine it depends on the job title but can you give a few examples of apprenticeships you're talking about?

Both my husband and my hamster are sick so I'm all alone. And today the only colleague who sits in my block was off too.

Normally I like the solitude but the fact I smashed my tooth out yesterday and my hamster is dying means I'd just like to have a bit of human company right now.

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>We're not super close and I kind of hate her but we usually don't argue or even talk.
That does sound like an issue. Not arguing or talking is sometimes worse than shouting at each other. I am in a similar situation as I can't really identify with my mother and rarely talk to her if at all. There is no easy way out of it but unless you face this problem head on by bringing it to your mother it won't go away. Small regrets will always add up to something too big if given time. Regardless I wish you good luck and hope that the situation resolves itself favorably for you.

Well, I don't know if there is something like that in your country but in Germany you can either work jobs that require no training, often minimal wage, go to university for a degree or apply for an apprenticeship where you spent 2-4 years switching between school and working at the place you applied to in order to become a skilled worker. For example a car mechanic needs to know a lot of theory about how cars work. So you apply to a business that repairs cars and they send you to a special school while also training you at their work place. At the end you get a certification and can either stay or find another job. The advantage is that you are now more qualified and can expect better pay and less "mindless" jobs as potential employers depend on your special knowledge.

Sure, I can provide that. What happened to your tooth? Do you care a lot about your hamster?

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I think I did pretty well for myself 22yo currently going for a degree in Biochemistry I got sick of being a wagecuck 2 years ago and decided to follow my dreams and become a scientist. Idk guys I think I just got lucky my parent were upper middle class so are able to get me through a bachelors degree most of the way before I had to go into loans. I still cant figure out why I'm still a kissless virgin tho hell I'm 6'4.

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> What happened to your tooth?
It was damaged years ago, and yesterday it fell out. I'm probably going to need an implant which sucks and is really expensive. I can afford it but it will wipe out my emergency fund. I guess that's what it is there for :(

> Do you care a lot about your hamster?
Yeah she's really sweet - her name is Snippy. She's the goofiest hamster I've ever owned. She used to like sleeping in her food bowl and falling over while washing her face. But now her breathing is really bad. She's on antibiotics and anti-inflam that I have to give her twice a day, but today she's a lot weaker. I expect her to die this weekend.

Thank you for talking to me.

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Wow. That's really helpful. I'll go and try to look for apprenticeships in my area. If not I'll be trying to find at least some applications for factory office work.

>I still cant figure out why I'm still a kissless virgin tho hell I'm 6'4.
I don't want to be rude but one reason might be that you have a pretty egocentric view of yourself. The trick in finding and bonding with another human is to consider what THEY want. It's great that you are proud of your achievements but don't expect the others to feel the same way as you. Height might be an attractive feature for some/many but attraction is something complex and often very unpredictable. I don't want to speculate too much so I would like to ask you about your previous experiences in the dating game. How did it go?

>I can afford it but it will wipe out my emergency fund. I guess that's what it is there for :(
First of all I'm glad to hear that you have prepared for emergencies like that! It shows responsibility and I believe that's a good thing. Yeah, I understand that it might still be annoying to use it up but try to see it from this perspective: You didn't use it in the past anyway so you didn't lose anything. And as long as no second emergency comes then things remain the same as before.

I'm sorry about your hamster. I trust that she had a good life in your care. Do you plan to have a funeral for her or something else to process your feelings?

>Thank you for talking to me.
With pleasure. :) Thanks for talking to me, too.

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>And as long as no second emergency comes then things remain the same as before.
Yeah you're right - I just have to hope.

> Do you plan to have a funeral for her or something else to process your feelings?
I'm not sure. We don't have a garden so would probably bury her at my mother in law's house.

She's just too young to die at only 20 months. I've spoiled her rotten all her life with treats, toys, a huge cage, the best food. She chews the bars whenever she hears my voice demanding to come out and sit with me and be fed mealworms and explore. But seeing her so down and pained is heartbreaking. Normally daddy can fix any problem she has, but not this time.

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Good luck, user! If the job market is the same as in my location then you'll find all kinds of different jobs. After all there are so many things to do in our society and only a fraction of them require a degree. And they often pay enough to sustain a good life if one goes about things carefully and with a little thought. Personally I believe the most important thing in life is to learn how to enjoy the little things and live in the present. What good does money do if you don't know what to do with it? On the contrary high paying positions are often very stressful and require a huge amount of dedication. Some people may enjoy it, other may force themselves to do it anyway even if I hate it for a false promise for a "better" future. But the future is an illusion. There will always be a tomorrow. The only thing that truly exists is the present. Who knows if we'll even live long enough to see the next morning?

Don't hope, just live day to day. Problems might come or they might not but I believe there are better things to do than to think about something that doesn't exist. After all you are capable person and no matter the situation you'll know what to do when it arises.

>We don't have a garden so would probably bury her at my mother in law's house.
That sounds like a nice idea. If you want you can take a picture of her and put it in a frame. That way she'll never truly die and will remain in your memories.

>She's just too young to die at only 20 months.
>But seeing her so down and pained is heartbreaking. Normally daddy can fix any problem she has, but not this time.
Personally I believe there is no right time to die anyway and to think of it as a problem is contra productive. Snippy probably isn't even aware that she might die and doesn't care. As long as she is given something against her pain then she'll probably handle it. And even when her time finally comes you shouldn't pity her. Death is nothing bad or painful. It just is.

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I feel like I have no closure because he didn't want to talk about anything when he and all of our shared friends cut contact with me. I can't shake that the real reason they left me is that they hated me.

He told me that it was too much to take supporting me through my issues, which is why I said "mental issues". I felt suicidal and depressed a lot, and I usually talked to him for support.

Also, 2 years ago, he was sexually attracted to me and offered to give me a blowjob, but I felt too anxious to accept it. I don't know if he liked me romantically, or just sexually. Regardless, I regret not having sex with him on that day.

The thought of a sadistic but caring girlfriend turns me the fuck on, although I know they'll hurt me physically.

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I really want to die.
I wish I could trade places with someone who wants to live but can't.
I haven't gotten out of bed in weeks.
I just don't want to live anymore but I feel trapped on this fucking planet.
Nothing comforts me, maybe the brief moment of thinking about how one day I'll be dead and won't exist anymore, but then I'm reminded I'm still here and have to deal with decades more of life.
Life is full of suffering and i want nothing to do with it anymore.

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>I feel like I have no closure because he didn't want to talk about anything when he and all of our shared friends cut contact with me. I can't shake that the real reason they left me is that they hated me.
Yeah, that is understandable. Of course I can't know their real reason but I also sometimes cut off contact with people when I feel overwhelmed with my own problems and I never would hate anyone. It's just a (bad) way to cope by trying to avoid the problems. Try not to think too badly of yourself or them. It's not that you are a bad person but that they are weak just as most people are. We are weak and confused about life and often do things that have the potential to hurt. I'm not a Christian but as Jesus said "They don't know what they are doing." and honestly, who does?

>He told me that it was too much to take supporting me through my issues, which is why I said "mental issues". I felt suicidal and depressed a lot, and I usually talked to him for support.
Same as above. It's hard to find the balance of being open with your emotions but also not too open as to overwhelm the other person. While it's a good idea to talk about your issues with friends and family I do recommend to visit a professional. That way you can open yourself up as much as you want without worry and probably get some good advice on how to change things for the better. It's not shameful to seek help when one needs it. After all the only way to spread happiness to others is to be happy in the first place.

>Also, 2 years ago, he was sexually attracted to me and offered to give me a blowjob, but I felt too anxious to accept it. I don't know if he liked me romantically, or just sexually. Regardless, I regret not having sex with him on that day.
The past is in the past and you shouldn't worry about it. I believe he isn't even sure himself about what he felt. Emotions come and go as they please.

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What exactly appeals you about this kind of girlfriend if I may ask?

Life is what you make of it. Nothing will comfort you if you don't want it to comfort. Negative thoughts breed more negative thoughts and happiness only exists in our head. I don't want to imply anything with it but I think you should know that what you experience right now is not something external but a product of your mind.

>I'm reminded I'm still here and have to deal with decades more of life.
What exactly do you associate with "dealing" with life? Why do you feel that it's a negative thing?

>Life is full of suffering and i want nothing to do with it anymore.
Do you mind to elaborate on what exactly you mean with "suffering"?

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I know a girl who got dumped last week, this week she came over and was all over me. She wants to fuck. This has never happened before, given the fact that I post here. She's really cute and into the same stuff I'm into.

I dunno, I've always felt like having a dominant partner would be good for me, plus having someone keep me in check would be nice.

>incredibly fit aside from weak lungs

My friend, you should do yourself a favor and look into Wim Hof. He may very well have what you need.

I know many are not very spiritual and so, spiritual advice can be seen as a burden or unwanted. So I say this in the full understanding that it may be ignored or disliked, but none the less.

There is a hermetic principle, As Above, so below. As Below, so above. It's the principle of corespondence, everything in the Universe is linked, nothing happens by happenstance, chance is but a word for a Law unrecognized. Have you ever pondered why we choose to co-habitate with so-called "Lesser" life forms? Have you ever asked yourself why some people seem to altogether "Lack" that creative spark of Humanity, while others seem to have only the tiniest of flame, while others still seem to burn like the Morning Sun? Spiritually, we are all one, one in this vast cosmos we call our Universe. All things are connected. Your kindness and love for your pets, has allowed them to grow spiritually. In the second density, or "animal" phase, the soul is learning "self", the idea that it is a separate being that has a unique consciousness. Newer souls are the "NPC" types, the ones who seem to just, lack any sort of real spark, just here, wide eyed, like little toddlers. Animals, through death and incarnation, over a period of incarnations, become "Self aware" and so are able to grow in spirit and become, well, "human-like" in soul quality.

While that does not remove the sorrow of your loss, I hope that you can find peace and joy in the fact that your time with both Snippy and past hamsters has been of benefit to you both, in this world and the next.

You strike me as a very giving person. Don't forget to take time for yourself as well, you seem to be in need of it. I can feel the pangs in your heart and you have my deepest apologies. I hope that my words may bring you some semblance of peace. Thank You for being You.

Oh, that does sound like nice thing if sex is something you enjoy. What do you think about it?

So if I understand correctly you want someone who leads you with a firm hand but don't want to be hurt physically? That doesn't sound impossible although finding such a person might require some time. How do you feel about it?

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Sex is pretty fucking awesome. However, ask yourself what it is you want from the relationship, what's plausible, are you willing to communicate with her? Are you OK with being a side thing? Are you OK with it possibly being nothing more than a fling she may regret later?

I don't want to be a downer, I want you to be real with what you want. If you want a relationship, awesome, I might be able to help you to understand that.(Not op btw) but if you just want to bang, I'm not of any help.

I'm a Dom, a Switch and have a Male and Female half, I can offer you some insight from my perspective if you'd like. I felt something calling me to the board tonight and I find another user already doing what I had in mind, how strange.

I presume you don't mind some company, as we both seem to share a rather similar perspective.

>What exactly do you associate with "dealing" with life? Why do you feel that it's a negative thing?
making money, feeding yourself, sheltering yourself, doing all these things to sustain your life and for what? they make killing yourself in a peaceful way next to impossible. there is no way out unless you want to suffer greatly.

>Do you mind to elaborate on what exactly you mean with "suffering"?
step outside and count how many homeless people you see, walk into a hospital and look at all the people with illnesses. look at the skyrocketing suicide rate, look at all the people on medications. if you don't live in a first world country then you will likely suffer greatly, if you do you will still suffer but you will have to do so voluntarily.

I used to be a successful science student. Currently in a postgrad course. Depressed everyday and unable to find joy in anything. Injures, so any and all attempts at exercising fail. Despised by women instinctually. Considering suicide, no reasons to live left.

I'm fucking hyped. I met her during a class and I thought she was cute so I started talking to her. I thought she was into me but then I found out she had a boyfriend. They didn't really like each other much. She's told me she always thought I was hot and we always flirted a bit when we hungout. Basically we've wanted to fuck for a while and now there's no reason not to, I don't need a relationship and I don't think she wants one.
We've always liked each other since we started talking. She'd follow me around and I go with her, find excuses to talk/touch whatever blah blah blah. we're both okay with being fuckbuddies right now and just hanging around each other. we've talked about fucking before and we both get along well and like the same things. basically I'm glad I might not be a virgin soon.

So why not change it? Why not better the situation? Why not a call to arms? Why wallow in self pity? Have you not understood the purpose of Anger? Anger is to see injustices more clearly. There are many who would find what you say contentious, but there are even more who would find what I say outright blasphemous.

It's all by design. It's a slave system, forcing you to choose, to either Serve Yourself or to Serve Others. The choice must always be made by the individual. Money, power, control, materialism, they're all illusory. But boy do they ever feel real, don't they.

We could change it all tomorrow if we wanted too. Over 5,000 patents in the United States of America alone are hidden under a "National Security" requirement. If that tech was released to the general public, overnight we'd have anti-gravitics, disease free, infinite energy, food and abundance the likes of which we can hardly fathom.

Instead, we have corruption and fools who genuinely believe their Government loves them. Those same people will say without a second thought that "Politician" is easily the most corrupt position they can think of.

The Cognitive Disonance is incredible on that one.

Awesome. Then I'm thrilled to hear it for you brother. Good on you. Just relax and enjoy, it sounds like you're about to be part of a good thing.

I can't find any dom girls or traps. I want a loving relationship with a weeb girl/trap so bad.

I had one before my entire life, and only had sex with that one person. I don't wanna casually fuck around, I want to be with someone ;_;

>I presume you don't mind some company, as we both seem to share a rather similar perspective.
Sure, why not. The more the merrier.

>making money, feeding yourself, sheltering yourself, doing all these things to sustain your life and for what?
If I may ask what bothers you about this? Sure, it's not always easy to sustain yourself but the alternative would be to not do anything at all which sounds really boring if you ask me. Even if I wanted to I couldn't tell you for what you should do all these things as I believe life is inherently senseless or at least without a definite and objective purpose but that doesn't mean that one can't enjoy the ride. After all we don't constantly require care. Once you are fed, well rested and healthy the world becomes your sandbox. Is there really nothing out there that interests you? Hypothetically if you could wish for anything what would you want?

>they make killing yourself in a peaceful way next to impossible
Well, I do agree that other people are quite selfish about this kind of thing. But let's be frank, if you really wanted to you could kill yourself and no one could do anything about it unless they physically restrained you forever.

>there is no way out unless you want to suffer greatly.
I believe while killing yourself might hurt for a moment, in the end there will be no pain so the suffering is only temporary. And what is a moment compared to eternity? Though let's not kid yourself, death is not a way out as in that you escape from anything. The moment you brain stops working there is no you. "You" only exist as your body. In short you will not even be able to enjoy the peacefulness of death. Wouldn't it be more reasonable to seek peace in life first?

cont

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I feel you, man. It's a bit esoteric, but my birthday is 11/22, which is supposed to be sexually significant, due to a magnetic stardust storm the planet goes through during that day. *shrugs* Point of relevance is, I understand the feeling of trying to find that connection. It's so hard to locate and when you do, finding that piece of yourself is, fucking indescribable, right?

It doesn't make sense, but her touch is electric when she's "In that headspace".

All I can say is you'd be fucking surprised where you can find "Dominant" energy if you look properly. I would never have pegged my current girlfriend for one. But fuck. She can fucking give you that feeling of prey and just.

All I can tell you is be honest, be up front about it, don't fucking compromise. I've told this to a thousand and one submissive people, but don't fucking compromise. Your sexual health is vital to your mental health which is vital to your physical health. Shit's important, so make sure you take your time my dude.

What can one depressed suicidal loser possibly do? All that stuff sounds good but it's not going to happen. Hoping for change sounds delusional and if I'm going to be delusional I'd rather hope for the world ending in some way.

Thank you. This has really helped.

I am going to try to sleep now.

How can one person change the world? The same way every other person did. By speaking out, by taking action, by spreading the word.

Mind Controls most simple step is to simply remove knowledge from the equation. By not knowing about something, you can't act upon it. Now you can either choose to put your head in the sand and whine or you can do something that can actually affect change, in a tangible and real way.

Again, either you succumb to your own current delusion of "I want to be depressed and die except I don't" or you can take up the delusion of "I hate life but I can maybe make it better in my own small way".

Either way, the choice is and always has been yours to make. I can't force you and I'm not interested in convincing people. I'm the messenger, not the judge.

I realized I'm fucking pathetic when I talk to the girl I like

Got cold feet friend?

I'm so fucking ugly. It's not even funny I am a 1/10. And that's counting being tall, young, and white. Why even bother trying.

OP, why are you doing this? You seem like a very kind person.

I'm in a postgrad course too
Sorry to hear

>thrilled to hear it for you brother. Good on you. Just relax and enjoy, it sounds like you're about to be part of a good thing.
thank you so much kind user, I needed a bit of reassurance.

>step outside and count how many homeless people you see, walk into a hospital and look at all the people with illnesses. look at the skyrocketing suicide rate, look at all the people on medications.
I won't deny that there is a lot of suffering in this world but neither will I allow you to ignore all the good things that exist simultaneously. And don't you think it's a little pretentious to assume that every homeless is suffering? That every person with an illnesses isn't able to enjoy his life despite the pain? Also while there are many people who suffer it doesn't mean that YOU can't find happiness. Also as a last thing your view on the world is highly distorted. Many people are happy or at least content with life.

>if you don't live in a first world country then you will likely suffer greatly,
That's also a big assumption. What if I told you that happiness is something very subjective and that our way "western" way of looking at life itself is not universally shared by all. I recon a "primitive" tribe without much technology or modern comfort probably has people that are way happier than some who were born with a silver spoon in their mouth.

>if you do you will still suffer but you will have to do so voluntarily.
Now this is something I can agree with. If you want to suffer you will. But do you want to suffer?

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>11/22 birthday
Haha, I'm just gonna go to bed - that's my ex's birthday.

I can't escape it. Loved him so much.

Yes, unless it has a second meaning I don't know of

It isn't that I don't want to be hurt physically, it's just that I know others will find it weird.
I feel like a girl who could bully me could love me a lot better than a girl who couldn't.
I've really never had anyone who playfully banters with me in my life, either, so someone like that would be amazing.

The worst part is, I keep reminding myself that I could be doing something meaningful. But then, I find it quite meaningless when I consider that, with that thing done, I would just feel the same.

Man I feel for you bro. Those of us born on that date are "Odd". But I can say I ain't him. I'm a different him.

Man cold feet don't make you pathetic. I've lost count of how many times I've struck out at bat and gone from soaked to "nope". You win some you lose some. Sometimes it works out in your favor, sometimes the chemistry isn't 100%. Doesn't make you pathetic, just means you choked up on your follow through. Try again, you're human, you'll make errors a ton. Don't get so hung up on them bro.

I could feel as much, that's why I say lighten up. The way you talk sounds like you're young and in love, it's good to see. Makes me smile mate. Like I said, it sounds like you've got a good thing coming, make sure you enjoy it. :)

See I've never had a "feeling of accomplishment" as one might put it. I've just been...I'm a natural Chad in a lot of areas, let's just put it that way. Never had to struggle to "git gud", just had to struggle in ways that most people will never see.

We, as humans, are really hung up on endings. You'll notice, when we discuss Christ, we never discuss his youth, his childhood, the 20~ years he was absent, we largely focus on his end, how he died. In fact, it's the focal point of one of the worlds Largest Religions.

Why do you focus on the end at the cost of the journey in between? Why do you focus on completion instead of the time spent with what you're working on? Is it a "Labor" or is it a Labor of Love?

Do you have any uni clubs/societies or postgrad classes that teach skills there? I managed to get into a cheap life drawing course as a beginner via the arts society here

Haven't done anything else besides that though
It just means that after exams are over I can consider drawing in my free time because I'm not a complete beginner anymore

How do you know you'd feel the same if you did that thing you thought was meaningful?
I feel like my degree is kind meaningless too, it's just to put on my CV
Which is why I also need to do well in these exams for a good grade

How do you feel when you draw?

Do you have a support network as in people you can talk about your problems? Have you told your counselor about your current issues and sought professional help?

>I'm fucking hyped. I met her during a class and I thought she was cute so I started talking to her. I thought she was into me but then I found out she had a boyfriend. They didn't really like each other much. She's told me she always thought I was hot and we always flirted a bit when we hungout. Basically we've wanted to fuck for a while and now there's no reason not to, I don't need a relationship and I don't think she wants one.
That's great, user! I hope it works out for you but I still have to warn you to be careful not to fall too fast in love in case she only wants to have sex in order to process her breakup. Either way don't let it hinder you on having fun and sharing a good time together.

Hmm, do you feel it HAS to be a weeb girl/trap? I mean it's good to have preferences but don't limit yourself as you might miss out on great opportunities.

Good night, user. I'm glad I could help.

In what way do you feel pathetic?

I won't deny that being ugly will hinder you in finding a partner but life still has a lot to offer. And even when you perceive yourself as ugly there might be someone who sees it the other way round. Attractiveness is basically the associations of positive feelings with certain body features. While some of it may be deeply rooted and biologically defined, it can also be generated by being a pleasant person. There is no guarantee for success but I have noticed that when I spend good time with people they automatically become more attractive as I associate the good feelings with their look.

Just for fun, user. Thank you, you too seem kind. Do you want to talk about something?

I really want to get good at music production, but every tutorial I watch seems overwhelming, what do?

How do I stop falling in love so easily?

I don't right away
but yesterday I thought about some things I've told her and I wanted to fucking kill myself

I honestly haven't done it in such a long time that I don't remember
It's frustrating but I feel somewhat proud when I get an accurate gesture drawing down
Need to sleep anyway maths exam in two days and I didn't even study today

I was in this exact same situation last year. I knew I would be able to graduate if I worked, but I suspected my depression would magically go away, I wouldnt stop being lonely and worthless, and women would still hate me. Then, I said screw it, I got up and wrote a thesis that earned me an award for scientific merit, and may (assuming I am insane enough to believe that anything has any worth once more) be published in a peer reviewed journal in the future. I graduated with straight As. And then, I fell right back into the same shithole I had crawled out of, just as predicted. I tried going out with some girls, and failed to establish anything every single time. Actually, it s got even worse. Now, not even my writing makes sense to me any more. I used to be keen on it, but now anything I produce is steaming garbage that I just have to delete right away.

I fucking hate the friends I keep. They're a group of toxic assholes who demand my time and descend into the pits of depression and aggression if they don't receive me as a form of human interaction for more than a few days. Doing anything "fun" with them, even when its fun is so poisonous to my mental state that it's no longer fun because I'm just waitin for one of them to have a random mental break down and shit on everyone else's mood for a week. I wanna go find new friends but I fear getting to know new people and rejection.

>Do you have a support network as in people you can talk about your problems? Have you told your counselor about your current issues and sought professional help?
I havent got anybody beside my mother, who is quite difficult most of the time. I havent even got a clue who my "counselor" is supposed to be. That s gotta be an American thing. I had one long-lasting friendship going all the way since high school, but now she s disappeared. I havent seen her in a year, and I am scared to go ask her relatives where she s gone.

So no, I havent really sought any help of that sort. I had a therapist many years back, but felt like he didn t do it for me. Have been quite sceptical ever since (and I have taken psychology courses in the uni too)

>suspected my depression wouldnt*

Just breathe and remember, at one point in your history, Walking was literally impossible for you. It was the most daunting task you could concoct, but here you are doing it like a champ now.

Everything starts hard and overwhelming, take it slow, learn what you can, review what you think you know, learn where you struggle and find out what others who are doing what you want to do, are doing and have done to get there.

This applies for everything, not just this one unique facet.

That's a tough one my friend. You might be here for Fourth Density lessons, which will be beginning shortly. How shortly I can't say, as I'm not a prophet, I just know it's coming. For now, best advice I can give is to recognize that you love freely and to understand that not everyone else is on that same page. They don't have to reciprocate it for you to be able to express that love outward. Just respect personal boundaries, of course.

It sounds to me like your right half of your brain is trying to get your attention. If you focus too strongly on "hard logic" sciences, you'll end up forgetting to take care of your spontaneous and intuitive "right" side of your brain. This can result in narcicistic patterns, egoism and a few other little delusions. My advice? Just draw sometimes, if you feel the need, just let your expression flow. Bottling it up will only reduce your ability to study in the long term, by "punishing" yourself by not allowing that more "creative" and "random" element to also be present. I assume, that you are studying hard STEM, which is why I suggest that your Right Brain may be seeking some Tender Love and Care. Allow some spontaneity to exist, don't become a "Slacker" or anything, but recognize that creation is balanced by a rigid, hard logic, as well as an intuitive and expressive form.

There is no shame in taking a bit of pride in what you have created as well :)

>Hate myself most of the time
>Paranoid of other people's intentions
>Constant feeling of inadequacy
>Shattered self esteem
>Feel like nobody wants me around or secretly hate me
>General social anxiety (if you want to put it that way)
>Loner/social outcast
>Abandonment issues
>Aloof personality

Does anyone think seeing a therapist is worth it? What's it like?
I don't want to lose her

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>her
Get out.

I hope you manage to find that special someone. Just don't try to limit a potential partner to these few things and stay open minded.

Oh yeah, I know that feeling of cringe, too. Let me ask you, no matter what you said, were you honest? As in did you say that what you actually believe in while being respectful and polite? If yes, then there is no reason to hate yourself. After all wouldn't you want to be honest with your girlfriend and wouldn't you want your girlfriend to accept your honesty? Worst case she did not like what you said but if that's the case then she wouldn't be the right partner for you anyway.

On the other hand if you feel like you tried too hard to act like someone you are not then take this negative feeling as a lesson to be more honest in the future. I know it's "easier" to say something you think the other person wants to hear instead of what you really think but in the end it will not help you in any way. Also unless you are a really good liar it's painfully easy to see when someone is not being sincere.

>I havent even got a clue who my "counselor" is supposed to be.
Normally most western Universities offer free counseling when someone has psychological problems. I suggest you to look it up on your Universities website. You have nothing to lose but your depression after all.

>So no, I havent really sought any help of that sort.
I suggest to change that. Being stuck with negative thought loops without being able to vent often leads to bad things. We humans are social animals and even the act of complaining without even receiving any profound advice will automatically make you a tiny bit happier.

>I had a therapist many years back, but felt like he didn t do it for me. Have been quite sceptical ever since (and I have taken psychology courses in the uni too)
Well, if you have taken some psychology courses then you should know about the importance of being treated by someone different than yourself.
cont

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I'm crushing hard on my 19-year old lesbian drug-dealer.

Please help me convince myself that this is fucking retarded so that I can move on.

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>I wanna go find new friends but I fear getting to know new people and rejection.

This is me right now. I'm 96th percentile Extraverted, so I _need_ that human connection, but at the same time, I'm afraid of getting hurt. I'm afraid of reaching out.

>How can that be, user, you're posting and helping

Yes indeed, anonymously, where I am free to be Me, where I don't have to explain what it means to be a Mirror Empath, where I don't have to go into detail and try to get people to understand that I am just. Weird in ways that I can't explain. That I can know things I shouldn't be able to know, that I can see things I shouldn't be able to see.

I understand what you mean about the toxicity. Especially in 2018, the energy of the world has been getting increasingly vibrant. People are getting either REALLY negative or REALLY positive. There isn't much lukewarm left.

I'm afraid I'm still struggling with this myself. I know I just need to take the plunge, but for some reason, I lack the courage.

You my friend lack the Lust for Life. You've lost your passions, you are drowning trying to find the ladder, you are, if I may be so bold, the Hanged Man as we speak. You're a bit lost and all your senses are demanding you do something, anything, but what? And why? To what end? For what purpose? And so it hangs some more.

Am I wrong?(I apologize if it comes off as harsh, I'm not trying to judge, merely to comprehend your position.)

You sound like me from Ten Years ago. Do you want to talk, friend?

What helped me to break the illusion, I'll never forget it. Was just sitting down and observing people. I noticed, most of them were deeply unhappy looking. Few of them had any confidence to speak of, most of them just shuffling too and fro.

I'm here if you would like to talk. I feel I may be able to offer you some insight, this night.

What kind of drugs is she peddling for you user?

I'm as honest as I can be with her
I just want to be close to her sooo much

Also you might have noticed that even when someone has a degree it doesn't automatically mean that they become perfect masters over their subject. Therapists are also people and may not always be the right kind of therapist for you. Keep searching for the right one and even if they aren't perfect they can probably offer you some insight you might not have reached on your own. As much as we like to think our imagination is limitless, we are quite limited as we can't know that which we don't know nor can we think about things we don't think about. Sounds obvious but that's something people often forget.

Why do you think it's retarded? If she likes you back then I see no reason to not pursue a relationship with her. Just be honest and causal about it. Even when she rejects you it's no problem. Love comes and goes and time heals all wounds. Only regrets and missed opportunities stay with us forever.

I'm glad to hear that, I hope she also feels the same way. Though try to not be too clingy. Personally when I notice a person depends on me for their happiness I see spending time with them more as work than joy. But that's just something about myself. Good luck!

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>Lust for life
I suppose.

The thing is, I still go to school, I still finish my courses, I still train when I am able which is quite often because I apparently have an abnormal pain tolerance (or so my doctors said). I am learning languages, but gods it all fkin sucks so much. I want to die unironically unironically every day. And of course, compared to what I would do unimpeded, my intelectual abilities are extremely poor. I literally just feel stupid from all the suffering.

I'm probably gay, and I want to go on a date with a guy.
What's the best way to get a guy to ask out a femboy like me?

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OP here.
I'm glad that so many people replied but I'm feeling quite exhausted for now and I need a little break. I hope you don't mind too much

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Exactly. You have no Lust for it. Atu 11, Lust, must be understood for what it is. When one is drunken with lustful intoxication for Life, ones will and love flow freely into the task at hand.

You are struggling, fighting, you are mechanical in nature. You have no love, no lust, no intoxication for what you are doing. It is a task for you, it is WORK, it is ROUTINE, it is BANAL, it is BORING, it is UPSETTING.

It isn't that you are stupid, it's that your brain is telling you "I don't fucking like this." You're telling it "Too fucking bad, this is what we have to do." And it's telling you "Then I'd just rather die."

Square Peg into Circular Hole my friend. Take a step back, re-evaluate what you're doing and why. Is it worth living a life of "success" if you feel like knecking yourself for it?

If you were close by I'd offer as a test date to see how you felt.

Since I'm not, why not be bold and make the first move?

It's all good mate, I'm surprised so many people are answering so genuinely, thank You for starting it. I'll keep it up in your absence.

Yea, but I cant have the things I d like. It s just as simple as that. I am incapable of having friends or lovers. Life has proven this time and time again. People despise me, it s as though I stank. You think I dont know that it s killing me? A person with literally half my IQ could figure that out...

Also I clicked on this thread because of the doujin lure so I might as well vent now

I had an exam today that is worth 42%of the taught component of my MSc. In order to finish with a "first class honours" here, you need to get over a certain minimum in each component individually (taught component and two sets of projects). This means that pulling my grade average up later with exceptional project submissions won't change anything about what's on my diploma when I graduate

The exam consists of an MCQ section with 20 questions and an essay section where you need to write for 3/5 possible topics. First, this guy who lectures two separate modules submitted questions from.the wrong module to the exam so we all ended up facing material we should only really know for the maths exam in two days
Then, having spent countless hours doing outside reading on the few topics I enjoyed and was sure had a good chance of coming up (3), none of them appeared in the MCQs or the essay questions so I was forced to put out maybe one good essay and two that were half-assed on topics I barely covered

I'm really pissed that three professors picked coincidentally shitty topics at the same time. One of them was based on a few slides of an introductory lecture and I felt like there was very little to say
Most of all I feel like a fucking retard for spending so much time studying the topics I enjoyed and ending up with nothing to show for it. I'll forget all of that shit someday so it was a complete waste.
Oh yeah and I can't believe I fucking forgot how to do integration by parts as a college student
It's just something I haven't used or needed to use since highschool. My BSc was in biology
I wish someone could tell me I'm not a retard. I know I shouldn't really be expected to know and it was only 1 MCQ but part of me feels that I should have two days away from the maths exam. All I had to know was one fucking formula

Thanks

>What kind of drugs is she peddling for you user?

Basically whatever I want (within reason) but I mostly stick to ecstasy. I get good prices.

Because I'm a 28-year old man. I feel fucking stupid going for someone so young, who's living a lifestyle that I could never really keep up with.

But she's a cute tomboy with a genuine interest in vidya and geek shit, and I feel so free when talking to her. I can be myself in a way that I just can't be with my other female friends.

We had sex about a year ago before she really "figured out" that she was a lesbian and it went about as well as you can imagine. So I know that we can never be, like not in any way ever.

But my mind keeps telling me she's the one, and I need help getting over this moronic infatuation.

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Where do you live, user? I'd love to try a date with you~

Well, you have a lot of anger and are prone to lashing out needlessly. I should warn you, I'm a Heyoka. You're not necessarily going to like what you hear from me, but it will always be something that needs saying. I have no interest in hurting you, I'm only interested in helping you. If you want to tell me that such things are obvious, then by all means, feel free. But you can't then complain that I won't offer you the same level of help in future.

Karma must be understood to be a result of your direct actions. You get what you put into it.

>I wish someone could tell me I'm not a retard

You aren't a retard, you speak with much Fire and Passion, tempered with the Sword of Knowledge, you have a depth of Emotions and seem to have a strong bit of Earth in yourself.

What you lack, is a bit of understanding. You're giving your power away. You're allowing others to dictate to you who and what you can be.

That being said, I'd be fucking pissed too my dude. It's completely understandable and you're right, considering the level of debt required for the student to take higher learning, these things should really be made into a fucking standard by now. I mean really, in times past we had Apprenticeship programs that were universal and you could take your skills anywhere. Now it's a fucking gamble if you're worth a damn one year or the next, Hiring an employee is like becoming a fucking Somalier. Gotta know the year, the graduating honors, the teachers, the curriculum, for every fucking Uni/College, it's fucking mental. You have every fucking right to be angry. I feel you 100% on that one.

>karma
fuck rite off m8

guess ill post-
currently high off of my favorite drugs weed and cough syrup. shitposting on reddit and Jow Forums while listening to good fucking music and not giving a fuck about anythin. life is good bois

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Peoples republic of Canada, Ontario specifically.

Just don't taze me FemBro-user.

Tease me, by all means, but I don't mix well with electricity.

>Basically whatever I want (within reason) but I mostly stick to ecstasy. I get good prices.

Based on this, the drug dealer status and what you mentioned to the other user, I can definitely understand your conundrum. It's really quite the mess. I can only tell you this. Tell her the Truth, tell her you don't know if it's just in your head or what, you don't want things to be weird, but you just need to clear the air for your own mental benefit and tell her the truth afterwards. Gives you the freedom to let the dice fall where it may.

Fucking gutwrenchingly terrifying thing to comtemplate, ain't it? That's why you gotta follow through. Tell her straight up that you understand if it can never be, but that you have to just be true to you because you care about her and it's coming from the heart.

>Hur dur I met a concept I don't agree

>Better tell them to fuck themselves, that'll learn em.

Top fucking Tier mate. Top fucking tier.

I'm sitting back with some nice Blue Dream at a cozy 207 Celcius ripping through my bong and enjoying some healing Back and Forth my dude, welcome to the room.