"user.... m-my b-boyfriend c-cheated on me. Can I record myself h-having sex with you to get b-back at him?"

"user.... m-my b-boyfriend c-cheated on me. Can I record myself h-having sex with you to get b-back at him?"

Attached: cry when angels deserve to.jpg (625x625, 48K)

Actually lost my v card this way, minus the girl being upset.

Sure just give me his number
>calls him
>get story
>tells him mine
>get her naked, whip her for her sins and then throw her out because I love Jesus and i aint fucking before marriage

yes
oh god yes
please
oh god i wish this wasnt a larp
why is life like this
fuck
cunt shit

>moving out of my dorm
>everything is out of my room by this point, only really have my backpack left in there
>still have the rest of the week to hang out until I'm gone
>drinking alone
>knocking.wav
>it's this one bitch I used to like
>wants to drink
>her chad bf hit her
>not upset, I knew that would happen and she never listened to me
>of course, we get drunk and fuck a lot
>she leaves the next morning
>that very night
>drunk again, and very high
>making some tea with my electric kettle
>someone starts kicking my fucking door
>scared.jpg
>it's chad
>he's screaming and saying he's going to murder me
>I'm 5'10" and this is a 6'2" musclebeast
>know that he's going to get through this fucking door if I don't do something
>watch him wind up for another running kick
>open door
>he runs into the room and kicks the cinderblock wall
>hear him yelling
>peer around the door and his leg is really fucked up
>like, bending in a way it's not supposed to
>look around the hall
>nobody, they've all gone home
>grab his fucked up leg and drag him inside
>he starts trying to swing his arms at me
>I think he hurt his pelvis because he couldn't even sit himself up
>grab the kettle with boiling water and pour it on him
>he grabs my leg and pulls me down
>start beating his head in with the electric kettle
>hit him like ten times before he stops screaming
>feels like I just beat a boss in Dark Souls
>get up and grab all the shit that I own
>stuff everything in my bag
>hear him getting up
>he's using the rolling chair to help himself up
>panic.exe
>look around, there's nothi-
>several CD disks I've burned my shit music onto
>start throwing them at him like a disco ninja
>hitting that faggot with the greatest hits of the 1990's
>chuck Phil Collins' Face Value directly at his head
>yes, I understand the irony
>as I sprint out of the room, he trips me with his fucked up leg
>crawling toward me
>hock the most desperate loogie of my life right in his eyes
>sprint out the door

Attached: consider whack.png (512x464, 430K)

>be the Bull in an NTR scenario
That's my fucking fetish.

yeah, sure thing, tomodachi.

no you disgusting bitch
you two clearly deserve one another

>Running kicking the door
>Open the door so he runs in and kicks the wall

Yeah right sure whatever, real life isn't fucking looney toons

Yeah I know it sounds fucking retarded. The cops didn't believe me, either, until they saw the footage. The lesson, though, is that you must be careful with who you cuck.

Dont care if this is fake and gay continue please.

There's not really anything interesting to tell. I do know some weird shit that happened afterwards with bitchslut, though.

T E L L Y O U M U T T

okey dokey!
>I drove to my friend's place and he let me stay there
>he was about to go to sleep
>tell him I need to call the RAs
>tell him what happened and he just stares at me
>walks out of the room and I think he's about to kick me out
>opens the fridge and pulls out a lot of weed
>burned through half an ounce and hotboxed the bathroom
>drinking out of a bottle of vodka when I remember I have to call the RAs
>this is like an hour after it happened
>speaking like a retard, I'm so fucking drunk and high
>they say they've already had the cops pick him up and they need me back there to give a statement
>I am in no state to drive, let alone talk to the police
>my friend drives me back there
>the memory is a little fucked, but I told them everything
>I don't think they knew I was completely intoxicated
>left out the part about me fucking bitchslut until they asked about his motive
>the cop who wasn't asking questions couldn't contain the laughter
>they were asking about the CDs and everything and that got a laugh
>apparently they found chad trying to climb up the stairs
>he was trying to tell them that I had assaulted him
>they ended up going to the RA's office while I was there
>I know the cameras couldn't see us in the room, but they definitely saw CDs flying out of the doorway and me spitting in his face as I tried to escape
>miraculously don't get in trouble over the hot water
>it was pretty much over after that
>months later, I'm scrolling through kikebook
>bitchslut has shaved her head
>from what I gathered, chad got out on bail with daddy's money and went to go teach that bitchslut who's the real chad
>not sure what happened with him
>she had a lot of posts about how she hates men now
>tfw I fucked that bitch into lesbianism

Attached: autistic tapping.gif (540x501, 1.56M)

you should make a stick animation of that story it would be sick

>a stick animation of two drunk retards flailing around
I think I'll pass, user. I can draw, but I'm definitely not putting in the effort to animate shit.

Jesus fuck, didnt the guy need to go to a hospital?

pretty shitty larp desu, you're still a virgin after all

Attached: 1546711069407.jpg (1920x1080, 180K)

Only if you do anal you punk arse bitch

False and homosexual. Cringe and bluepilled.

I'm actually just assuming he got bailed out and beat stacy, I don't actually know what happened with him, or if he beat her. I do know, however, that she now looks like Lena Dunham without the bug face and I'm so glad I got a few nuts in before she bloated up.