When did you realize that you were never goinh to be loved?

When i realized that i am not capable to love someone

Right, and then all the girls and Chad's ask why you aren't smiling 24/7 and you say you're kind of lonely.
>Lol, just be yourself bro.
>It must be your fault.
>You're a shitty person.
>Focus yourself and it will happen.

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I dont want to be love. I dont even want to exist.

>22
>tried to get pussy slightly fat...it didn't work
>lost weight just to see if this time it would work...it didn't
>got ripped and it didn't work, again
>tried being the outgoing fella (actually that's my true self), it didn't work
>tried being more reserve it didn't work
>tried being a douchebag, initially work but then they realised i'm not like those dudes n shit got fucked
>eventually get busy with university, then my job (at the time of course, i'm currently neet) n start giving a damn about my look, gain weight and slightly overweight
>fastforward, i turned 28 and have already given up on getting gf

nothing fucking worked, my relationships only lasted like 3 or 4 months at most, perhaps my personality simply sucks, i guess

over christmas and new year I stayed with family at some cottage and I installed bumble to see what results I'd get in a new area. some asian girl, decent ish looks, good job, wealthy lives in Kensington London where her rent is 1600 a month was staying six miles away in the next town. we messaged every day, sent videos etc to the point she became infatuated and told me she was falling for me. I liked the attention she was giving me but didn't feel the same towards her. since I came home on the 2nd I deleted whatsapp, snapchat and have ignored any messages she will have sent. i like making people happy but I felt I've lead this girl on and bad that she'd told me she had spoke to her friends about me already. she wanted me to stay with her in London at the end of january and said that shes in Manchester on valentines night because of work so we could meet up again too. if I just wanted sex and all this shit I could've carried it on but I'd rather not fake it.

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Pretty early on, but I kept believing it'd just "happen" to me like it did for my peers.
Never did.

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by the way, i'm not manlet 6'2

how ripped did u get

When I was a kid and the girls treated me like I was gross and refused to even talk to me.

It hasn't gotten much better since then

last thursday when my mother told me so

When I was a kid. Parents never loved me and were abusive, and the other kids would bully me in school. I understood I was meant to be alone in this world.

When i lost my first and last best friend because of my fucked up head. I miss you.

had the body of a professional swimmer (hit gym too so i was pretty ripped), but it only worked to get their attention, thats all, this one girl i ot, empty-headed n got fucking boring, being fit didn't really work for me, perhaps im retard or not normie enough idk

Did you piss her off or what?

user, based on this post, I think you may be a retard.