Hey bots, how do you deal with the crushing weight of existence...

hey bots, how do you deal with the crushing weight of existence? I spent about an hour today shaking not being able to move due to pure agony of our shit my life feels

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I have those days too. Either I dont care or care way too much. Its hard to function sometimes

Yeah... that strikes pretty true for me too, its like, can I just have some balance for once please? why does it always have to be the extremes...

That sounds really cute op.
I can't say I've had that feeling before.

cute? I mean in an existential way maybe..

i just keep moving since i usually have shit to do lol
but it's hard. at first i'm confused, then i realize it's just the usual self loathing but manifested in a stomachache/odd sense of doom again

it's impossible to suppress such a feeling

Yeah that's what I mean my man. I don't know my sister used to have that and used to come into my room and sleep in my bed when she had those issues. So I kinda think of that.

I try to be as productive as possible on my good days and try not to think of the time I waste or how pathetic I am on my bad ones. This is how kami-sama made me and I just have to do my best to work around it. It sucks but its refreshing to know I am not the only one.

Yeah, thats my problem I guess, I don't have much meaningful shit to do, so its like, even if I try push myself out of the feeling, I'm just gonna be sitting in my chair, still kinda paralyzed

I wish I could do that... I miss having support like that..

That's rlly good user, I'm a sucker for overthinking so I try distract myself from the pathetic feelings, but sometimes I just, can't, that's when it's really bad and I feel like I'm in a limbo of pain.. but yeah, it's like, nice to know we're not alone, but also, I wish we didn't have to suffer like we do

i am experiencing such a feeling right now i realise my time is finite and that i should pool my energy to better myself there may be a god there may not be there may be spirits for every good has a bad the universe needs to keep balanced everything that can happen will and will not happen you live inbetween the moments of chaos and peace in the grey if you are able to hold yourself and not get lost in either one you will find focus and use your determination to act i am no philosopher i am but a man like everyone else no matter the state you exist its only around for some time see where it leads you and where you can lead you

I feel like I've been consumed by the chaos, even when I don't feel it, It's like I've been chained to it, that it's an inevitability, if there is a god, I think he's punishing me for something I've done, I don't know what I've done wrong except exist, belive me I still try to get out but I just keep tripping and the few people in my life aren't there to catch me, or even sometimes they push me down, I'm just scared you know, I've already tried to take myself out of this situation the permanent way, I don't wanna go back to those same feelings again..

I really feel you on the limbo of pain thing. I distract myself with videos like webm compilations or hentai or things that dont allow me to think so I can clear my mind of whatever Im thinking of. Sometimes it gets so bad that I cant get out of my mind though and I feel absolutely powerless, like when I knew my gf at the time was cheating on me and could have been fucking some dude while I was at work. I couldnt bring myself to do anything and just had to go home. That same sort of feeling I can get with just thoughts in my head randomly. Stomach twisting and feeling hollow of everything. I feel like Im dying from a slow shutdown since I cease to stop working.

Yeah, videogames, youtube, porn, its just more of a distraction than fun and its bad when you lost the motivation to do even those things.. fuck man I'm sorry about the gf, my last ex pressured me into polyamory aka her fucking people while I stayed at home crying and self harming really bad, but I was so co-dependent I just did whatever she said, glad I'm out of that but, you miss the cuddles and support sometimes, rlly bad. and yeah intrusive thoughts, fuck those, big time, like, why brain, why would you do this, what is the evolutionary purpose of just randomly fucking me up?
>I feel like Im dying from a slow shutdown since I cease to stop working.
could not be, more relatable than this

do not fear the tides change you may be in a drout simply carry on hope for rain and wait it will come i promise you

Yeah, I guess our gfs were about the same except mine didnt tell me and I found out through logging onto her facebook. I let it continue trying to make the relationship as happy and stable as possible despite hating her and wanting to kill myself.

>why brain, why would you do this, what is the evolutionary purpose of just randomly fucking me up
Im not sure, I feel like for me it was the way I was brought up. My parents were abusive and poor. I would miss meals a lot because we couldnt afford it, also my parents would hit me a lot. Once my dad hit me and I fell unconscious face first into concrete and it broke half of my two front teeth. This happened when I was 5 and I didnt get it fixed until I was about 20. I grew up in Sacramento which meant I was one of the only white kids in my school, which made me a target for bullying. I think being in my head my whole life because the outside world gave me nothing but hate and anguish made me this way. I cant stop not being in my head.

Really desu senpai once I truly realized how shit it was I decided to just become an emotional masochist. Can't explain it but I get a perverse sense of excitement and satisfaction when things are fucked up. Don't wanna die anymore which is neat.

Well I'm very thirsty ;_; its been a drought since I was 16, thats the last time I had a friend group

>trying to make the relationship as happy and stable as possible despite hating her and wanting to kill myself.
same here... I actually tried once during it, legit not sure I am alive today.
Ah damn dude, I'm really fucking sorry, I had a shit dad and some shit friends and abusers but definitely not as bad as that, I really hope things can get better for you user, you really didn't deserve any of that.
>I cant stop not being in my head.
seriously are you me? I say this all the time
I suppose that's one way of dealing with it, though I'm vehemntly against wallow, it just makes me so much worse

the only time I ever felt that bad was when I smoked that fakeweed stuff

Thank you, I am married now and my problems are a little better now. Im still working on unfucking my head though. I dont want to sound condescending or cliche but I know youll find someone OP, I really do believe that. You seem like a great guy. Im glad youre alive today. If you ever want someone to talk to I have a fake facebook account named Martini Henry l am active on everyday. It has a picture of the grand union flag.

Thanks, I'm still hoping things will turn out well, I'm still pretty young so I got that going for me
I found your facebook but I am a fembot idk if that makes me hated or not >inb4 everyone shits on me now

Yeah, Im 25 and just now getting my life together. It takes time. Im sorry for assuming you are a guy.

You're fine xD added u