is anyone else here legitimately actually anti-social but still unironically craves attention and/or affection but has no idea how to get the latter without being COMPLETELY overloaded?
literally not autism btw, I have zero other symptoms and I've been confirmed not on the spectrum by several professionals, it's just severe anxiety and moderate depression
I understand how you feel user. It feels like I am incapable of forming a genuine connection with anyone. I like the idea of friends and romance in theory, but then whenever I get close to someone I hate the intimacy and I always become aloof and distant from them. My idea "friend" seems to be the kind of person I only see once a year and rarely ever talk to, only stopping by to say hi and then desiring to leave as soon as possible because even though I'll sit at home feeling like there's a hole in my life from the lack of companionship, as soon as I try to fill that hole with others I absolutely hate it and realize why I don't like hanging out with other people in the first place. I feel closer to my dogs than I do to any human being, and I'm pretty sure that when I die my funeral is going to be empty and there won't be anybody to speak about my life at my grave, because all my life I've been the guy who sits at the back of the pews avoiding attention and interaction.
Your are a failed normalfag in denial.
Give up and become a wizard.
don't meme on me like this I've been in IRC chat rooms since I was 5 and I have niche hobbies not worth discussing ITT I fit in with the definition of "not a normie" plenty dang well
and I don't wish to BECOME normie, I just want to find out to fill the hole without it flooding over and killing me in the process
>and I don't wish to BECOME normie,
Are you SURE??
I am not here to put ideas in your head, my intent is stimulate you to think.
Who craves attention if not normals?
It seems that a part of you wish you were a normal.
Either you are 'anti-social' as you say or you are not.
You have social cravings that you do not know how to fulfill, which makes you a failed normalfag in denial
what is our problem anons, why are we like this? when everything went wrong?
Of course. We're here, user. I haven't had proper friends for the past 10 years so you can imagine how I feel. I've had a relationship for a few months a bit ago and now that it's over I can't really imagine how to continue on with life. I must love someone and get loved back but it's impossible.
This hit me hard. It feels weird to be intimate since I get scared of seeing people who know every issue I'm having. It's like they know what's going on in my head and it's just downright unnerving to me and somehow humiliating. So I avoid them altogether.
What do you think, fellers?
another interesting post that might help some here reconsider a thing or two about themselves.
Are you me? I fantasize about a close friendship, maybe even an emotionally intimate relationship, but even a small conversation makes me nervous
I HAVE friends, but I worry that I might ruin my relationships with them if I ask for alone time...
I tried friendships with other anti-social people but it just doesn't seem to work out. Different schedules/lifestyles often lead to conflict of interest and the natural antisocial tendencies of both of us drives us further apart rather than closer together.
this fucking guy everyone
is there a problem? Would you like to talk about it?
I wish i could just cuddle somebody and just have no weirdness or anything, just a nice long cuddle
You aren't legitimately, actually, unironically, anti social. Try Jow Forums. Maybe you can get helpful input with your problems over there.
I know how you feel its like as soon as you get close to anyone you get overwhelmed, you start to panic and instinctivly fuck it up. Shit sucks. ive just cut off all human contact outside of the internet, my family and when im actually required to speak to anyone.
Maybe you SAD or AVPD or some shit like that.
its pretty clear that i am antisocial when i take drugs
i dont have any feelings when im high
shut the fuck up, you have friends. You talk to people regularly. What you lack is social skills, your problem seems to stem from failure to manage your social life, not from the lack of a social life.
And we can't help you with social skills over here, try Jow Forums.
so you are telling me you aren't legitimately, actually, unironically, anti social.
You only feel like that when you are on drugs.
Stop doing drugs.
Glad I could be of help.
Devotion isn't all it seems.
I am romantic sociopath I just want cuddles and people who care about me while I commit crimes that hurt people who deserve it like actual criminals
I have no problem with hurting people, but I make the choice to not hurt anyone and insetad I hurt myself
In a way im kinda like jesus because i get hrut and kinda get turned on by it its why i cut myself
You can clearly see I have sense of grandiosity like a psychopath because i am antisocial psychopath with no feelings
I can turn on my empathy for people so i do that to get by and dont really turn it off anymore, i like people around me and like helping them if they need something like money or food i just wish they would stick around not leave me
You aren't a psychopath or a sociopath, but you are trying very hard to convince yourself you are.
Good luck. I have better shit to do.
Try to do some self reflection on your problems, this isn't who you are. You are a teenager on an identity crisis.
>I am a romantic sociopath
dropped
You think that but its obvious im psychopath because i cant feel anything
here have my psychopath butt, i like it when people see me naked and i sometimes crossdress
add me on discord nicetail#9286 if you want more nudes or i can cut your name in my skin
ps cant upload my butt IM FUCKING PISSED
You are the broker of my broken dreams.
yeah i feel u bro. that's probably why we come on here, anonymity and no strings attached , "fast friends".
for me it takes alot of energy and worrying anxiety and stress to reach out to people even friends. opening myself up to people is very hard also. deep fear of rejection.
here is my butt to prove that i am psychopath
i hope you guys like me at least a bit even when im evil psychopath
dude im not gay. so i don't really care about your butt bro.
You shouldn't devalue yourself so cheaply.
You should only share yourself with someone who loves you and not strangers.
yeah im sorry i wont do it again do you forgive me ? this is my new impulsive mask i still have to work on it
but its ok there is no me i am nothing i am the void have sex with me and give me attentions please
I'm more than half tempted to devote myself to you, but something tells me you wouldn't remain faithful.
wtf no add me on discord and i promise i will never leave you i will cut off my arms rather then leave you i really just want somebody who want me like that
start talking to people online and join a club or something
Have you ever ghosted anyone on discord?
This is what you need to do. You have to open up to someone you trust. I did it and now i feel a bit better and my anxiety is improving.
I think is fatalistic as fuck
you are all super stupid i am dont need to open up i dont have anything i am void if you look inside me you fall in get lost
here is more of my psychopath body hope you guys like me
You have it pretty bad and I'm resisting the urge to claim you for my own.
okay claim me do it right now i will forever love you and cut my heart out if you ever leave me because i might as well be dead
How do I know you won't toss me in the trash when I give you my heart?
nobody ever gave me their heart if you do you are the first person to do and i will love you beyond grave
if you ever heard that psychopaths cant love its a lie they actually love differently and better then other people , its much stronger so dont worry
can you two faggots get a room and stop edging each other here
Probably something stupid like narcissism, don't worry love isn't real stop seeking it from other people.
illusionz?
nicetail#9286
nicetail#9286
nicetail#9286
add me im bored and when im bored i lose conrtole and do things i later regret like hurting myself
Do you like snowmen?
So silent could it be you found someone else to fawn over?
Create your own friends. If you delude yourself just enough, you will no longer have the craving for human contact from other people. It doesn't have to be strictly tulpas, it can just be personalities that are extensions of yourself.
Can't help you if you can't/won't pull off the mental gymnastics for it.
You know full well that it won't be authentic or posses the spontaneity of an actual friendship with a living human being. Ultimately you won't be able to delude yourself.
Good thing I'm a misanthrope, the connections I forged within fantasy are stronger than anything I've experienced in reality. I'm incapable of connecting with anyone in reality, including the very family I've lived with for years. I believe in both reasonable and fantastical interpretations of my own mental constructs, so I can teeter between reality and fantasy rather easily. I even switch places with them, a trait often associated with dissociation, though I'm fully conscious and aware.
That's what it means to be "friends" with your own personalities, and they've done far more for me than any human being that has shown to be rather routine. I don't know what kind of "spontaneity" you are referring to, as most people are persons of habit. Especially adults, since they are the most resistant to change. Even my personalities, once properly established, rarely change their perception of themselves.
You'd be in for ghastly surprise, The human mind is far too erratic for me to make sense of my own. So many conflicting desires and false personas one has to wear certain ritual interactions. It's bewildering.
Then I could argue the same of myself, that there are human beings "erratic" enough to delude themselves to the degree I possess. I do not feel loneliness anymore due to the effects of solitude and the initial "split" where I could think in tandem with the "other me." I do not strictly possess a sense of self anymore, in spite of my phrasing (partially because I am aware of how confusing "we" would be to use). Plus, referring to this frame of mind in reality would be a social death sentence, even moreso than my seclusion has caused. The border between lunacy and lucidity is usually only separated by the acknowledgement that one is fantasy and one is reality. So, while the world in my head may not necessarily be 1:1 with reality, I can still drift off into it knowing that fantasy is all I can rely on, because human beings are unreliable for connections. Especially for those in my situation where typical human beings are just as unapproachable to me as I am to them. It doesn't help that they are completely predictable after watching them for a while.
That's what makes me a bit different, I can "watch" myself because of my mental outlook. I know far more about myself than anybody else knows, because that's the only person I've been able to hang around. I've had all the time in the world to reflect upon myself, the personalities that have cropped up, how I've interacted with them and vice versa. For instance, I've learned that I cannot love myself, and yet I possess an empathy and love for other people, which is why I can hate and loathe them to the extents that I have. I cannot forge connections with specific human beings, but I still care about them to an extent. I care for their well-being, even if it ends up giving me nothing in return due to their frequent selfish nature.
I have never met a person that could gather that much information or display an aptitude to figure out something like that. It's usually typical self-help drivel you can find on Google.
>don't like going outside
>anxiety
>rather be alone inside
but at the same time
>one longterm online friend who I leech friends off of
>enjoy team games
>want to give/receive affection from grill
Im mostly content single, but I would really enjoy a partner to do the occasional thing with and just lean on.
I tried discord but no one seems to want to 'connect'. just talk edgy and about drugs/music
tfw no gf
Just be kind, friendly and most importantly genuine.
It's not that hard.
Yeah people forget that I exist but if I can get 1 person to like me then I'm happy.
Somehow I feel our thoughts "converge". Whatever this disease may be we seem to share it. I have always seen myself as an imposter and outcast in any circumstance. Rejection is an new and intolerable circumstance I find myself in.
Fucking hell user the only difference I see between you and I is that I've yet to let myself revel in the fantasy as much as you have. I have never seen such a similar mind, it is slightly fightening.
Part of the problem with me is I like human interaction but most people are annoying or a pain to be around. Not sure if I'm anti social or just hate people. Or if there's a difference
You're the best judge in this situation. You only have to tell someone to fuck off for a specified amount of time or eternity.
>legitimately actually anti-social
You mean, asocial. Legitimately actually antisocial means you do things that harm or lack consideration for the well-being of others.
I've been talking to people who fit your description. I tried my best to comfort them, because I knew that they are great people (people who have been hurt, or who carry a heavy burden), I befriended at least three of them, and I eventually fell for a very special one.
It hurts so much, because I don't know if their words and acts are subtle egoism, or it's something they can't help. Rememeber that when you establish a relationship (it doesn't matter if it's friendship or love), you're not the only one who can get hurt.
If you meet someone who is worthwhile, or who can give you what you're looking for, don't be afraid to become vulnerable. There's no other way to go if you want to be honest with them and also with yourself.
>It doesn't help that they are completely predictable after watching them for a while
I assume you're talking about real-life relationships, not chats. A text chat is a communication channel with quite a few limitations and you can't pretend to know someone totally like that, let alone judge them as if you were superior.
I'm not saying people can't be similar to myself, what I was attempting to say before character limit was that people just, quite frankly, cannot be nearly as engaging or forge as deep a relation as the ones I have created within myself. Social rules will inhibit human beings in reality, rendering them into routine habits and mannerisms. That is why I can state as much as I can here, because there are no rules or reasons for inhibition. It is a common sentiment that discussion can be either really good or really shit due to the anonymity. That same lack of inhibition applies to the mental world that everyone has. Which is why I find things like "it's not healthy to not be social" and all this flattery towards human relationships to be rubbish, because everyone tries to keep themselves at arm's length in reality whereas in places like this people tend to be much more honest and/or blatantly repulsive.
I can only learn more and more about myself through constant reflection, whereas I can only learn what I can observe and hear from other people. I believe all humans can learn more about themselves than they can with others, they just don't put forth the time or they haven't been able to reflect on subjects that provide substantial information to grow from.
Nothing to do with superiority, it's just a fact that I will know more about myself than I will ever know others despite constant claims that "the hardest person to know is yourself." I don't hold myself in higher regards to anybody else, or else I would be much less loving toward other people in spite of all the negative traits. Even moreso because the same selfish human traits can be seen within myself since all of my knowledge stems from my specific perspective with my own personal biases. After all, I am openly boasting of self-reflection. I'd have to be self-centered in some way in order to think in that manner.
I can't really judge it though I'm nice to people at first but over time I start to hate them cause most people are shitty. I'm just tired of being alone
>t. self diagnosed
I once naively thought I could endure 100 days for my love. But the sheer silence and dejection of it all wears you down to your very bones and grinds your soul to dust.
Maybe I'm too weak and hoped for the most amazing friend I could ever ask for.
You misunderstand, I was just commenting on the similarities between us. I guess it's because people don't usually post in such depth that I've yet to see another so accurately describe this. Although as I said, I don't dissociate to the extent that you do but that may soon change.
So untouchable and cleanly neat.
>antisocial
there's that word that retards use again
I'm no ugly slob that's so dire for affection. I have many contenders but I had waited fort your response.
Not antisocial, but I have that level of social anxiety where if the person at subway tells me that they are out of the bread I want I get a panic attack and stutter the rest of the sub ordering