30+ Thread

At this point in life, do you ever wonder how much is your fault and how much of it was just the roll of the dice?

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just the way things are, i take responsibility for things that are within my means to be changed/improved

>i take responsibility for things that are within my means to be changed/improved
And what things can you change?

I'm a 33 year old neet of ten years. It takes effort to fuck up this hard even ex cons who do hard time eventually get their life together. But for me it was through mostly no fault of my own and i have the psychiatric diagnosis to prove it. So I don't feel too bad about it.

-my knowledge
-my skills
-my health
-my social abilities
-my finances
-my attitude
-my outwards presentation (dress, haircut...etc)

Eh, it's mostly my fault. Yeah, yeah, autism ain't easy and all, but plenty of people get their shit together much more than I did in the face of greater disadvantages.

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No, I know most of my issues are because of my situation growing up. Having two alcoholic parents and no one to look up to, talk to about my problems, my day or school work was brutal on top of dealing with the bipolar level emotions and let downs with drunk people almost every day. I have a job, but I'm not close to anyone, don't trust people, I'm a 30 year old virgin and I freak out when someone's yelling even not directed towards me.

>I'm a 30 year old virgin and I freak out when someone's yelling even not directed towards me.
I wonder how you're supposed to achieve anything when you don't have a real support group like everyone seems to have. No contacts, no friends.

what are you doing at age 30 on this site? do you not have a job? girlfriends? jobs?

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What sort of answer are you genuinely expecting?

It's definitely my fault, I have loving supportive parents but my depression, low iq and laziness fucked up my formative years.

Why would having a job keep a person off of Jow Forums? Imagine that really sad and tired looking older fellow you see working at just about any retail establishment. That's us, but even worse since those guys managed to get married and have kids somehow.

I guess you don't. I certainly have no desire to try or feel passionate about anything to the point where I push to better myself. I even just have a basic retail job that pays well enough because I never knew what I wanted to be. I envy and admire people who have a dream job and go for it though.

23 and work as a janitor any advice? Just started and already tired/bored of the work/coworkers

>Like moths to a flame.

Youth is absolutely wasted on the young.

How do I not waste it?

Make your own thread or hijack the 25+ one.

You think if you had a few decent friends, shit would be different?

Not really, but I have zero complaints about my life situation, in fact it might be one of the very best. Body is packing up a bit though, which is a bit depressing, coughing a bit much, artrithis, back pains, pinched nerves, headaches etc. Would like to exercise but the more one tries the more it hurts.

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Never mind this post
youtube.com/watch?v=7aSnibQZA4g

>Jobs
No, do not want one either
>gf
No, not in years

I don't feel like it's my 'fault'. I am a decent human being and I tried, for a long time. I really did.

I'm not sure what my 'fault' could even conceivably mean.

Is it my 'fault' I've had crippling anxiety my entire life? Is it my 'fault' I have an atypical personality that makes it hard to fit in? Is it my 'fault' I was bullied for years for numerous reasons which destroyed my confidence and self-esteem? Is it my 'fault' I developed severe depression on top of the anxiety and lived with it for years and years, receiving absolutely zero support, sympathy or help from anyone? Instead just receiving more ridicule and abuse on top of the ridicule and abuse I was already receiving? Often from the same people that ridiculed me in the first place thus causing the poor mental state that they were then additionally ridiculing and abusing me for?

No. I don't think so. It's not my 'fault'. It just wasn't meant to be.

Sorry user sounds rough

I guess it all comes down to having a decent support group. If you don't have that, you don't really have anything. I mean, even career-wise you need connections for upward mobility.

Though is it possible to look for people now at this late stage when you're wary as fuck of everyone? Everyone else seems to be doing it.

What is the most beautiful thing in this life?!
Is it love?!
If not , then what is it?!
Why does we do something freely for someone that we won't do for another one even for money?!
Isn't it love ?! , Do we really enjoy doing something for someone who we love just to see him happy?!
Do we need to prove that love is true ?! , Or love is fake thing that never existed?!
If it isn't love , what is the name of that thing that makes us do something for someone?!

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Olden topic for debate, some would say one helps others to feel good about themselves thus reverting it into something very selfish. Or the possibility of being able to cash out future favours from these people. I don't get how people can ask others for favours in the first place though, I would feel extremely heavily indebted towards that person if I did, managing to solve a problem on ones own is also a matter of pride, the more difficult the more rewarding.

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I guess this is the point where you get lost in deep thought when you have no one to talk to.

Sometimes I envy those "men" Jow Forums tends to laugh at. Those who collect toys, that build lego, that attends shitty degrees at university and have a shitty job maintaining it. Those who have a dominant gf, that is excited when they see a dog on the streets. And so on.
I don't really envy their life, but their ability to follow a set of expectations. To get some validation from any other being. To have some aspect of their life they genuinely (maybe not) look forward to and can sit down with.
For me, it's all a chore. Watching TV, Twitch, Youtube, browsing Jow Forums, other sites, reading news/"news" all boring. It feels habitual and mentally agonizing, but it's easier then actually producing something. I don't even know how to start producing anything.
Except cooking, but I can't always be cooking. Life revolves around the next fap and the next feast while waiting for the evening to come so I can sleep - with a horrible schedule.

The biggest accomplishment in a year is that I haven't masturbated in 48 hours and been to the gym once since new years eve. I intend to go, I think a lot about planning tomorrow (as an abstract concept). But I rarely follow through.
It's tiresome, and I don't really see a solution that involves "me".
Most of my life involves waiting. Waiting for the next "motivation" (fap), meal, sleep, tomorrow. Repeat forever and ever. I don't live, I exist for the future, but the future sucks because of a shitty present.
Oh well, at least my parents wont have grandchildren.

>Sometimes I envy those "men" Jow Forums tends to laugh at. Those who collect toys, that build lego, that attends shitty degrees at university and have a shitty job maintaining it.

?
That's us you fuck. Or was. I guess we lost everything when geek became cool and we didn't capitalise on it or attempt to find those like us, and now we're left with no identity.

Anyone attempted suicide in their 30s?

I should think the dysfunctional family relationships have fucked a lot up for me. The family is fragmented and distant on both sides. On my Dads side there was an inheritance dispute that split it in half. On My Mothers side I believe her parents were abusive and it messed them up too. It explains why I have only seen some of my cousins only twice in my life. Naturally that has passed onto me and is probably why I don't get on with any of my siblings. Seeing normalfags have huge family parties is a completely alien thing to me as I've never experience any of that.

>I don't really envy their life, but their ability to follow a set of expectations. To get some validation from any other being. To have some aspect of their life they genuinely (maybe not) look forward to and can sit down with.
>It feels habitual and mentally agonizing, but it's easier then actually producing something.
>Except cooking, but I can't always be cooking. Life revolves around the next fap and the next feast while waiting for the evening to come so I can sleep - with a horrible schedule.
>Waiting for the next "motivation" (fap), meal, sleep, tomorrow. Repeat forever and ever. I don't live, I exist for the future, but the future sucks because of a shitty present.
I feel a lot of what you said and was thinking about parts of that today. I wish I was stupid enough to be motivated to do something stupid. I'm always dealing with idiots with bad ideas but they're absolutely deadset on reaching their goals even though they won't.

Luckily I've grown to learn discipline for myself but it took until my mid to late 20s for that. I was an overachiever until the end of high school when I realized it wasn't getting me anything. I still got into a good school but had to leave after a few years due to economic issues. I never learned to study or motivate myself because my bare minimum would still get me As. In my free time I still get sucked into thread watching threads waiting for replies and Jow Forums is slow as ever now in the places I hang out. It's the only place I have to go, everything feels like a chore but I still waste my time instead of getting things I want done in my hobbies. It's frustrating trying to break out of this cycle with no support other than myself. And when you do meet people in real life you're so different from them because of how much you know how to do that I realize I'm still doing more than the normal person. Then I got to sleep and wake up in the afternoon again for it to repeat.

all that to write that you're a procrastinator heh
then again most of us have manic delusions

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I like this scene in Taxi Driver, it's last attempt by Travis to reach out for help and all he gets is The Wizard but I can't tell if The Wizard hit on any truths which come out mangled because he's uneducated buffoon.

I might be fucked in the head and there's no one to blame but me. I know what I should've done to fix my life but I chose not to for whatever reason. I just kept avoiding social interactions and missing deadlines.

>At this point in life, do you ever wonder how much is your fault and how much of it was just the roll of the dice?
no I don't wonder, I know its mostly my fault.

I just want a couple of decent friends to talk to. Is that so much to ask?

>33
>no friends
>only really leave the house for work and groceries
>no real prospects for meeting women or anybody for that matter
>got drunk the other night
>started messaging a girl from high school on normiebook
>she was drunk too
>after about an hour she sent me a couple nudes
>she's maybe a 6/10
>nonetheless, this is probably the best thing to happen to me in my 30s

Hopefully it leads to something dude. Even for a short while. I haven't talked to a woman IRL outside of a cashier/professional context for 5 years at least.

Does anyone else feel creepy posting on Jow Forums now? Like 90% of the board is kids, why am I, a man in his 30s, on this board for angsty teenagers? Hell I can barely even relate to these threads any more, let alone the rest of the board.

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I'm more angry than anything. Angry that these zoomers have overtaken the boards, angry that (some of) the zoomers refuse to listen to good advice, angry that regardless most zoomers won't fail.

We are the last losers of our kind.

> At this point in life, do you ever wonder how much is your fault and how much of it was just the roll of the dice?
I have come to the conclusion I was never at fault at any time before age 30. I have come to the conclusion that it is MY FAULT to remain a virgin past 30 because I am not willing to get with used up club sluts looking to settle down or single mothers that are now willing to date me that weren't in my teens/twenties.

I'm like a shadowy figure in the void, I'm so mysterious, not like the people under 30 they suck

Well, it isn't like there is anywhere else we can possibly go. We were here first anyway they can fuck off their invasion.

Yeah, I'm not sure what to expect. We live two states apart now and she's kind of a slut, but maybe we can keep talking and I can get my confidence up a little bit at least.

>because I am not willing to get with used up club sluts looking to settle down or single mothers
You're fucking 30 you know the world isn't "used up sluts" and single mothers after 30. Though your choices are limited.

It's my fault and I save so little face by being able to say that I might as well carry on spiting the world since that's more fun

I'm 22 and I appreciate seeing 25+ year olds because honestly I'll be here at 30 too.
I'm about to graduate college and have nothing going on on the outside plus jack shit to show for my efforts except a degree. The real world will definitely kick my ass. I relate more to you guys than the bright eyed bushy tailed 18 year olds who only worry about getting laid.

Yes, it is these are my choices are women. Women I know who went to clubs nonstop in their 20s, literal meth addicts, former feminists who want to kill themselves, and obese single mothers.

>At this point in life, do you ever wonder how much is your fault and how much of it was just the roll of the dice?

I think it's definitely my fault, but that fault dates back to a time when I was so young it's hard to hold myself responsible.

I was a smart kid from a respectable family in a safe community and with parents who were nice to him. I had every advantage and everything could have worked out. *Very* early in adolescence - I'm talking middle school - the peers I first reached out to and the girls I first liked just shunned me. You're supposed to "pick yourself up and try again", and I just didn't - I turned inward. So I blame myself for not being more resilient - but I was a kid, right?

If I had been a little luckier in those first attempts, I think I might have made it through, because I wouldn't have been so completely convinced that I would always fail and so shouldn't try. So in that sense there was an also an element of bad luck.

I don't know whether the bad luck or my own deficiency and lack of resiliency were more important, in the end.

>le wrong generation
Like every single thread.

>Yes, it is these are my choices are women. Women I know who went to clubs nonstop in their 20s, literal meth addicts, former feminists who want to kill themselves, and obese single mothers.

There are some women in their 30's who don't fit those categories, but they tend to be upper middle class professional types, and those women are even *less* likely to settle for a robot in their 30's than in their 20's. They are planning their future kids' prep school admissions - they will betabux, but they expect top dollar.

Wanna know my favourite miserable memory from primary school?

I wanted to join in a football match during lunchtime where every kid who I called "friends" plus some other kids were playing, every single one of them shunned me. So I spent the rest of the lunchtime hour just walking around by myself, watching them from behind the fences that divided the football pitch and the rest of the playground.

I think that memory has sat in my mind and coloured my view of people for a long time.

35 year old virgin here.

I relate to even though like most everybody on this board, he has some resentment clouding his perception of women. But when you've had no luck until our age, it's pretty understandable.

Looking back, I don't see how much was my fault. I have a deterministic outlook on life and I think people exaggerate how much is in their control if they're successful because they want to take credit for their good luck and condemn others for their bad luck, but we are products of our pasts, our family, our choices, and our society, all massing in a giant snowball effect taking us down one slope or another.

is right, not all women past 30 are single moms or settling, but at the same time, choices are limited more than luckier people realize. If you miss formative years and don't have a social network past college, the odds stack against you rapidly.

I don't want to date single moms either, don't like the idea of dating someone divorced or with a bunch of relationships in their past I have to compete with. I'm not attracted to obese women, that rules out like 1/3 of matches right off the bat. I'm not sure I even find women my own age attractive as I never got to date girls in their teens and 20s.

I've put on a normie mask thanks to my job, so I'm socially confident at work, but I still have no social network. It makes me thinking about making friends stuck in their own careers and families, dating women who expect more from a man than they did in their teens and 20s despite not being as attractive. Am I just another stop on their dating grind, or if we do hit it off, are they settling? What does a relationship have to offer when being alone so long forced me to rely on myself?

I wonder if those Japanese grass eaters are the beginning of a worldwide trend. I should try to get out of my bubble, but it sure doesn't seem very compelling.

Yeah, I want to slave away for someone else actually. That sounds very fulfilling.

why can't you just be happy flipping burgers for the rest of your life?

Right, that's the funny thing. There are robots here with physical disabilities. Robots with actual autism and not meme autism. Robots who have been in and out of mental institutions. Robots who were savagely bullied. Robots who were physically or sexually abused by their parents or other adults.

I don't have any of those big-ticket bad experiences at all. I just had a succession of everyday failures and "recess periods watching other kids play whiffle ball" that all added up to the thought crystallizing in my mind, "These people...Don't. Like. You." And then that thought never let go.

I don't even think I ever really had "social anxiety" that badly, even if years ago I would have told you I did if you asked. I just always stopped before entering a social situation to consider my likelihood of success, and calculated it at zero, so I went home. And then one day I was out of time and it was too late to start over.

>I wonder if those Japanese grass eaters are the beginning of a worldwide trend.
What are they? Reclusive losers?

I'm more than sure we're the last social rejects. I see zoomers uglier and dorkier than me with gfs, sometimes above their league, because they left their bubbles (and the world is more connected than before so it's easier to meet people for them).

how come girls never respond to these threads or swoop in here and try to get to know the anons more

oh wait its because theyre all huge bitches and whores

The grass eaters are like Japanese guys who no longer date and just want to play video games and look at porn and stuff. I wonder if that will become increasingly common as alternatives to social interaction become more appealing.

Interesting thought that maybe we're the last, though. I'm not sure. On the one hand geeky shit is mainstream now, sure, but on the other hand I've read young people are having less sex than prior generations, not more, and are busier with life in general. Add male gender roles being in flux, guys getting mixed messages on how to behave and approach women despite still being expected to do so, both men and women being bombarded with better lives and prettier people on social media to make them feel like their own life and options are sub par, and I dunno. But I guess it's all speculation.

At this point, I would say that it's about 50/50.

Genetically, the mental illness and substance abuse predispositions were already there. The dysfunctional family and household that I grew up in certainly didn't help things either. But I sort of said "fuck it, I'm fucked anyway" and went full retard in my mid-twenties, dropping out of college, doing drugs, whatever. So, that's on me.

Actually, considering that the genetic component and the family life component are sort of separate components, I'm going to say... 30/30/40. 30% genetics. 30% family. 40% me.

Nothing I can do about it now, though. Waka waka!

>I'm more than sure we're the last social rejects. I see zoomers uglier and dorkier than me with gfs, sometimes above their league, because they left their bubbles (and the world is more connected than before so it's easier to meet people for them).

No, I think you have it backwards.

There are people here who are "socially interacting" with other people ALL DAY, either by posting on their boards or talking on Discord or something similar. They still consider themselves social rejects, and rightly so.

Socially successful people have real-life friends and real-life sex with people they can actually touch and who occupy the same geographic space they do. Anything not-that is social failure. By creating so many ersatz replacements for actual in-person shared-geography social interaction, the internet has caused and will continue to cause an epidemic of social failure.

A certain number of losers grew out of it, in the past, just by being in sheer proximity to other losers. Physical closeness led to many people literally stumbling (often in a drunken stupor) into legitimate, real-world relationships, despite being losers.

Now losers aren't forced to interact with each other in real life for long enough for that to happen. They can run home and whine to each other on the internet, or send money to some egurl game streamer to give them a "shout out" instead.

You don't see the zoomers who are losers because these days losers are dug in too deep for you to see them.

I half suspect you of being a zoomer desperate to prove that you're a social reject for some reason but these zoomers have never had it so easy, there's so many avenues to meet people online and IRL, so many niches and subcultures they can hop from etc.

And not to mention most problems on adv and r9k are about gfs.

Nope, I'm the oldest oldfag.

Well we're gonna have to agree to disagree.

>> about gfs
SOCS as well.
But I wouldn't say so about adv there are even in progress suicides on boards.

I am quite old myself

>soc
Holy shit that board has changed from a wall of dick pics to some dick pics.

>adv, in progress suicides
Ehh, they've always been there but the old super autist level threads have disappeared.

>At this point in life, do you ever wonder how much is your fault
All of it. But I haven't given up.

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people used to die in their 30's and 40's. We're all just starting to die, of course we're depressed and it sucks, we dont have as much energy as we had before, our immune systems are starting to fail. modern medicine is able to keep us alive but only barely. I've always felt I had to choose between living on as an old man who can barely stand up or dieing young with dignity. No body wants you if you're oldfag unless you got money, when I see older people like my parents they're all desperately trying to cope and trying to hold in their guts from spilling out, and its all in vain. just fucking die in peace already.

>tend to be upper middle class professional types,
Professional women who have been office stacies for decades are mostly as 'female' as a refrigerator or an ATM.
I had job interviews where I felt more warm and comfy than on dates with 30+ career women.

the fact I'm doing what I should have done 10 years ago is completely and utterly my fault,
I should be practicing right now and making a fucking living, instead of just getting started on this journey.
8 year oi being a neet does that to you.
I thank god every day my parents came to America.

That is more the case if you were a normalfag who worked all his live, burned himself out emotionally woth with the up and down of a 'healthy' social life and so on.
I sort of wonder if NEETs and loners who sometimes feel years or decades go by like in a time lapse will actually age better and live longer, not using themselfs up.

Some of us would think of that only as an additional punishment I suppose, but then those are the ones who tend to burn themself out with drugs and unhealthy lifestyle.

NEETs NEED jobs

You are a failure if you are in that situation. You can expire and not feel bad.

People gave their kids away during the Great Depression. Do you think you had it worse than that?

I'm not sure what you're getting at. I simply detailed my experience of life and what occurred that led me to be such a fuck up.

I made no reference to having it better or worse than anyone else. I don't understand how that is relevant in any way in either case. I mean if I struggled and had a difficult time, then that is what happened. Whether or not anyone else had it 'worse' than me is irrelevant in my opinion.

WRONG.

You have to look at things relatively.

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Let me expand.

Someone suffering a worse fate than you has succeeded but you cannot (wont) for some reason. Justify it.

Firstly by what method and measure do you determine whether or not someone has had a 'worse' fate?

Secondly everyone's experience of life is entirely unique, so to make such direct comparisions and judge everyone by a universal standard is ridiculous in my opinion. I understand this is how human beings tend to perceive the world but looking at it objectively it is idiotic.

Again I'm not sure what the point is that you're trying to make. It's true, many people in difficult circumstances 'succeed' (Whatever that means), but at the same time many do not. And I'm not any of them. I'm my own unique person.

You had two alcoholic parents.

What about someone who had only one terrible alcoholic parent because the other terrible alcoholic parent died when they were 5.

Who had it worse.

Well my parents didn't have a problem raising my younger siblings into functioning normal people, so that made me wonder a little.

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You just described me to a t. Always waiting for something.

It's 100% my fault. Yeah I got fucked over a few times in life, but if I had tried harder and pushed through, I could have gotten successful. There are kids in shitty 3rd world countries working their asses and coming here to be better. A lot of them are doing better than I am now.


I've thought about going back to school so many times. I want to leave this retail hell job and do something better, but I don't know what. I feel like I am just too fucking dumb to finish school and get a real job. I'm 32 now. Still a virgin and still no gf. I feel like if I did find someone, it would be a single mom or a retired Stacy. I got off the booze, so I'm happy about that. I just now have to fix other areas in my life and just hope for the best.

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It's about 50% my own fault I would say, but that 50% becomes 100% when you're born a robot and your parents plus society keep pushing you down.

its all my fault
smart people make smart decisions, i dont

fuck yeah man

>woman respond to these threads
>gets attacked
Do you see why now?

There are women on Jow Forums but there seems to be a higher concentration on certain boards. Mostly men on /b and probably /v... etc.

I got a degree in electrical engineering and forgot literally everything after graduating 5 years ago. Now I'm trapped in a living hell mindless underpaid niche job I can't escape because I don't know a goddamn thing about engineering anymore. It's a government job that required an engineer degree but I literally do the most mundane pointless crap and have zero actual marketable skills. Totally fucked myself and I'm trying to think of ways to do a career change without starting all over on the salary pole. I could maybe stop being so upset about this shitty job if it wasn't in a super HCOL area forcing me to have a nightmarish commute.

Most people, an EE degree is a winning ticket. I wish I studied CS instead, I would have probably actually liked it and as a result got good at it and gotten great jobs. You can get all the good grades you want but if you don't actually like your particular STEM subject you're probably fucked

Turned 30 in november

I'm a janitor at 34, go back to nightschool or adult college like I'm doing.
The industry is dying due to insourcing and automation(cleaning bots).

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It really seems to me that the zoomer vs millennial conflict is the one struggle that this website cannot survive. For most of its existence, Jow Forums appealed to a very narrow band of mostly white suburban males born from the 80s to early 90s. Now, though, the rise of zoomers (or rather the coming of age of zoomers) has presented the first real demographic disruption that Jow Forums has ever had to contend with.

On Jow Forums, a forum that is heavily rooted in pop culture and internet culture, zoomers represent a demographic with a set of cultural references entirely different from our own. They watched different TV shows, played different video games, came of age in a very different political setting. For a website whose appeal is that it is full of weirdos who travel in roughly the same groove, zoomers are the first profoundly different group with whom we've had to share space. They will, soon enough, replace us.