My sister complained to my mother that she's having "psychological issues". My mother is worried sick. I know it's just bullshit to get attention but really on the other hand I feel like there's some hypocrisy at foot here. Sister: >bf >flat >works 2 jobs she loves >in her dream education, goes to seminars and gets to travel abroad Me: >khhv >rot in my room in my parents' apartment >in college for field I know nothing about, no job >travel outside my city 2 times a year
Like on top of everything, she's a female, and she can get attention wherever she wants. She can put on some yoga pants, go out, and literally pick from any of the guys that look at her ass. I can't even go outside without putting on long sleeves and build a facade that everything is okay, or when that doesn't work, deflect my problems with cynicism so that people get the message they're making a mistake by approaching my miserable shit. I'm not trying to mope or anything, I just needed to vent because if I said any of this out loud I'd probably be even closer to being kicked out than I already am.
What field do you do user and why don't you enjoy it? Haven't you made any friends at school?
Anthony Bennett
I'm in electrical engineering. I'm in my third year, I'll be getting my BSc in the summer, and I don't even know how to wire up a transistor. All my knowledge is theoretical and even then superficial. I enjoy the courses from a "hmm, that is very interesting knowledge you are passing onto me, and knowledge is good to have" perspective, but I never saw myself like this. Tbqfh as a kid I always thought I'd be dead before I turned 16. Dunno why. I guess I've been fucked up from the very beginning.
I make "friends" that like my rude and cynical facade, and can't get rid of them no matter how toxic I try to be. Over the years some of that attitude has inevitably gotten into my subconsciousness. I don't want people around me because if they got to see my true self they'd all just end up hurt. Who the fuck actually wants a friend that cuts themselves?
Oliver Gray
>selfharm big oopsie mate. what made you like this, don't tell me you've been this way since you were a little young lad
Logan Harris
I only started in November. I don't go too deep so it shouldn't be a big problem for the summer. The feels just hurt too much, I felt completely isolated. I don't belong anywhere and I have nobody on my side who understands me except for random Jow Forums posters like you. (Thanks for giving me (You)s btw user.) The scabs and the sting just sort of remind me a normal person would feel the same sensations if they got hurt like that. I like to think it's proof enough that I am, despite everything, still human.
Cameron Baker
>mental illness is dependent on situation and not a bunch of wishy washy brain chemicals
I remember when I was like 6 years old I wrote a will and a note and hid them under a floor panel. My sister found it and thankfully never told anyone. I have no idea what I owned at 6 that could be valuable enough for me to leave to my family, or what I wrote, but I remember the exact piece of wood I placed it under that I think is still flimsy to this day.
Nolan Walker
Normal people don't hold strong emotions towards anything. normal is a broken fabrication of how things are meant to be. it's boring, don't strive to be a normal person user.
Blake Rogers
I don't understand what you're trying to say. My point is my sister has everything she's ever wanted and more. She's an amazing pianist, she's a great music teacher, and she's a great choir conductor. Internationally famous professors write to her and invite her to private lectures in Italy/Croatia/Austria/Estonia etc etc. I'm saying it's weird how a girl can just "be sad" and get even more attention, but a guy who leaves gillettes on the counter is the "happiest, most successful dude on the planet and will be able to handle anything that comes his way". I think normal people don't have constant intrusive thoughts or a genuine desire for life to end. They have a support network and don't overthink every thought process to the point of insanity. And what cuts deepest is that normal people get affection and attention. They're genuine because that's the only way they can be and need to be, there's no need or knowledge to put up a fake mask for the public. Even if I wanted to be normal I'm long past that. The game was rigged from the start; I'll never be near normal.
Liam Anderson
You can't just be sad all the time user, surely there are some things that make you happy?
Michael Hughes
>My point is my sister has everything she's ever wanted and more. It's possible to have all your needs fulfilled and still have a mental illness; depression can be informed by life experience but there's also a strong genetic aspect. This is like saying, "my sister has everything she's ever wanted, how could she be sick with the flu".
Landon Gomez
Also, having so many of our desires fulfilled at once is a very modern development. We aren't built to have things be going so perfectly, our brains don't know how to react. So they make up bullshit problems, that feel just as real as real problems despite being bullshit.
Henry Fisher
you're male you're disposable adapt or die hating on sis or parents isnt helping you, stupid cuntfag
>I'm saying it's weird how a girl can just "be sad" and get even more attention, but a guy who leaves gillettes on the counter is the "happiest, most successful dude on the planet and will be able to handle anything that comes his way". yes and what should that tell to any logical mind about the challenges and abilities of each sex?
Some things are pretty good but I don't look at the time spent listening to music as time well spent. At the end of the day I still regret everything I do. I'm not hating, I'm expressing my observations. To the tune of but not that harsh. I'm always the listener.
Asher Nelson
If someone is in a relationship they do not have depression
Tyler Gutierrez
>i'm always the listener you're doing a shit job if people are telling you personal shit, and you're listening, and they still don't like you.
Nathan Ramirez
Well it is much harder. You have somebody there for you to give you affection, to listen, to help. Unless your relationship is forced or abusive (in which case you're just stupid for not leaving), I don't see how you can be depressed in a relationship.
Josiah Lopez
They seem to like the image I've built. It all just feels so distant though. Like I'm not really there.
Brayden Mitchell
>Tbqfh as a kid I always thought I'd be dead before I turned 16
Well there's the first stumbling block. When you've got a suicidal mentality as a default it really fucks up your faculties for long-term improvement because your psyche interprets anything that isn't short-term gratification as logically a waste of finite resources.
At least as a silver lining you can compliment yourself on your critical thinking faculties being sound as fuck, even if they're under the aegis of self-sabotaging mental gymnastics, but I guess that's the price one pays for the glamour of being a teenage edgelord
Stop doing that you're already probably going to have scars and regret it
Ryder Williams
>Unless your relationship is forced or abusive (in which case you're just stupid for not leaving) Exactly, i was gonna say just that
Camden Wright
>anything that isn't short-term gratification as logically a waste of finite resources. I mean why should I even bother with anything long-term? I'm only in education because I'd just be rotting around without it. Why invest time in dating if things will eventually go sour anyway? Plus I'm legitimately planning to kill myself sometime in the future. I don't know how much longer my parents are going to live but one of their children attempting suicide was probably enough for one lifetime. >your critical thinking faculties being sound as fuck What did I say to make you feel that way? I would disagree on several levels. I'm 21 by the way. Nah the ones from when I started have already healed fully and I can barely see them. I just have to time them right so I don't have any scabs left by the time short sleeve weather rolls around. No clue what happens after that. I don't think I'll regret it; Out of all the stupid shit I've done I think I might, if I do turn out to have scars, be proud of this. No clue why though, but these things fill me with hope.
Hunter Lewis
not OP but I used to self harm, and I have 2 MASSIVE scars, and a few smaller ones. From about 3 - 4 years ago
Although they are ugly, I want to think of them as a remembrance of when times where bad.
[s]They are still fucking awful. I just cut so deep last time, I saw the inside of my leg, and got shit scared [/s]
The thing for me is unless I'm going for some extreme damage that could put my life at risk I don't see the point in going really deep. I drive recklessly enough when I go for a night drive, and I've reached 40mph on my bike going downhill on bendy roads. If fate wants me to end in a ditch before I'm ready to end it myself it has almost weekly opportunities.
i has this same mentality with my 1000cc bike it felt liberating knowing i could die with the flick of the wrist havent felt suicidal in a while though
Christopher Adams
Oh I guess I should've specified mine is a road bicycle
