Ready to kill myself, r9k thoughts?

It does get better, user. Life is shite sometimes but that doesn't mean you have to take it like a bitch. Get a gym membership and force yourself to go. You'll start feeling better pretty quick in my experience. My first year at uni was bollocks, all I did was smoke weed all day and I wanted to fucking end it. Never did because I realised there's more to it than suffering in silence

Get a hooker before you do it user. Sex is something you have to experience atleast once in your life.

Believe me I'm fighting like hell but I can't see much precious when it comes to the life I'm currently living.
I might seem like a fucking idiot but I kinda want some fame like Shuaiby and since I also want to die I'm thinking why not combine the two? For once I'd feel like I was worth more than just the sum of how well I perform, if that makes any sense? Others will miss ME and not just my actions.
If I stream it I will hopefully have someone showing they care if I invite them to discord or something. And if no one shows up it doesn't really matter since I wanna kill myself anyway. I've been thinking about death everyday and it would be so satisfying giving myself the ultimate relief.
Of course I understand how deeply it will fuck up my family. That and the fact that I don't have a sweet shotgun (my prefered method of killing myself) are the primary reasons why I'm still even here writing to you. But I really really don't want keep feeling this way and since it seems I can't catch a break I see no other way out.

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You really will never have a girl, because you're secretly gay. Just get a boy

If you gonna kys we can't decide for you, we anons want you to stay alive, but if you gonna do it anyway PLEASE dont do it with a shotgun, the odds that you instead of dying you will just get deformed and fuck up your life even more is way bigger than other ways to do it. So basically don't kys, but if you are dumb and do it anyway, dont do with a shotgun you will probably dont die but instead turn in to a deformed fuck.

>not English native speaker
>sorry for bad English

You want some attention and someone tho show you they care for you. Not suicide.

Ok guys I've tied my bedsheet around my balcony railing where I'm gonna hang myself so I can't stream, sorry. Hopefully I will break my neck as well. I gotta do it now or else I'm gonna pussy out. Bye r9k

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Nigger, no one's going to miss or care about a person they don't know at all. At least give us a damn reason to give a fuck.

Come on man don't do it! Stay here with us and talk. Just talk some more. We can work this out. Don't end your life. You are important. You matter. I know your life is hard, but you have to endure it. Please just stay and talk some more. Come on man, we don't want you to die. Just talk with us.

Nice larp you shill faggot

Ok my neighbours saw my noose from the balcony and they're worried. I should just "take the train" instead. I'm so fucking frustrated, I wanna die in peace.

Just kill yourself you phonefagging onions boy. Attentionwhore

I don't know if you're still reading this, but if you are, there's one reason not to commit suicide. you say you'll pussy out if you wait to long which means you don't really want to die. stay here and talk, we're here for you, user. lifeslall about set-backs but that shouldn't stop us from making the best of it. talk to people, hit the gym. that helped mr. just 2 years ago I was pathetic, I went full autism on my first gf and cheated on her, the girl I cheated on her with then became my first love and dunoedmed and told me that she had cheated me for weeks. a few months later I talked to someone (didn't even know that guy) for the first time in my life, which felt really good. he and many more have become really good friends of mine and make my life a whole lot better. I also started hitting the gym and the progress you make boosts your self-confidence, which makes you more attractive in two ways and also gives you something to be proud of. don't do it man. if you now still intend to, don't you dare taking the train. woth all due respect, who do you think you are to ruin the train driver's life. but again, don't do it, times will get better

Join the club, mate. I'm in the same boat. Killing myself most likely this year.

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You guys still here for me? I'm so fucking torn I don't want to devastate my family but I don't want to life with this pain of being alone and not good enough. I just need some support to go through with my suicide, please. I don't want to live like this. :(

well if you're gonna do it at least stream it, you come off as some validation whoring roastie.

Yeah we are still here. Don't do it man, don't commit suicide. It would devastate your family and us. Don't try to escape the pain. Learn to live through it. I know it's painful being alone. Things can get better though. You can work on your life and improve things. Don't give up hope. Isn't there anything you want to live for? talk about the pain of being alone and not feeling good enough. What is that like?

dude, the first reply is literally the best fucking reason. I'm 18 KHV and I also can't wait for sexbots, that if some 6/10 dosen't decide to stick up with me.

>Also there's The Last of Us 2 and fucking fan made Half-Life 3 coming out.

>Also also, did you ever try weed?

Thanks guys for staying with me for little while longer. I feel very inferior to others my age. It's mostly a confidence thing but I wish I was more outgoing, more academic and more ambitious than I currently am. I also have had difficulties in relationships with girls where I've gotten hurt in various ways. I also can't stand douchebags, "nice guys", bullies and adults who make egoistical choices when they have others they need to care about. I'm very bitter towards girls in particular. I hate to say that but it's true.
The envy I feel for people who kill themselves succesfully and turn into mush is immense. It would just be so freaking cool to fuck myself up beyond repair and stop giving a shit about anything.
By killing myself I feel like I would validate my depression as well as get rid of it. I've been having thoughts for years but it's not until recently when certain events fucked me over (which I may disclose later) that I've been preparing seriously and confidently.
I cut everyday. It's mostly to take out the built up anger that I have, to punish myself. Sometimes I cut my face but most often my arms. It feels good when I leave a deep scar, that way the doctor might actually give me the meds I need and people will ask me how I am.
I'm so fucking close now robots I just need one more push.

Not him, but what if I don't have any reason to live? I'm not going to fucking elaborate but you just got to understand that I'm a neet with no objective other than waiting till I build the courage for death. What am I to do?

we're still here, I'm hoping you'll be too for another few decades. look, just think out of the box, don't be a sheep and run after everyone else, which shouldn't be too hard, as we all have autism. you might ask "why is he telling me this?" and here's the simple answer: let yourself be fascinated by things. try to see the beauty in everything, for instance how even insects and spiders, as repellent as we might think they are, have been perfected by evolution or how clocks, which are essentially just a few pieces of metal can be so precise. be fascinated as a child, it brings a little bit of joy in your day every now and then

Just calm down some more. Think about what you said: you want to be more outgoing, more academic and more ambitious. You also want to have a good relationship with a girl. Focus on these things. Don't think about destroying yourself. You can do these good things. Switch your mindset from destruction to achieving your goals. Try not to cut either. You are still young and you can fix your life. You can be happy, just have some hope and stay on a positive track. Work on self improvement.

Well you got to find some reasons to live. Don't be so hard on yourself either. Don't think about death. Instead think about things in your life that will make you happy. Think about goals you want to achieve and then slowly take steps towards achieving them. You just got to pull yourself out of that dark place. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break because you're doing the best you can.

Hating douchebags, or really just any kind of ignorant people is fully justified. but if you feel that this is a problem, why leave it to other people to solve it? who are we to pass these tasks to the next, when we can do our part and try to be the best versions ourselves, for the change to come just a tad bit quicker. society is people and people can be changed to the better, one at a time. so don't stand by and watch, but change what displeases you

>You just got to pull yourself out of that dark place
Only were it so easy...

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Yeah I know it's not easy, but you have to keep hope alive. Never give up.

Thank you guys for listening. I'm considering not streaming 'cause I don't want my relatives seeing the video. On the other hand, in some ways it would feel more meaningful having it so that some people would remember me. I believe that there is liberty in death and the more people who realize that the less unhappy humans on this earth. Either way I'm still gonna hang myself and that's what matters to me. I know there is no turning back. I've reached my breaking point and I legitimately don't care for much beside my preparations. I kinda want to be like Shuaiby. Since he and I shared some interests it really made it more impactful. Seeing and hearing his mother find her son with everything above the jaw/nose gone is so freaking tragic and it gave me some kind of weird rush. I think I'm ready guys.

>he thinks this is temporary
I don't have the time nor the energy to put into words why I'm permanently fucked but general advice like "it'll be ok one day" is fucking bullshit. I'm going to be like this until I finally pass out with a rope wrapped around my neck.

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Godspeed. For once, OP isn't a faggot.

When are you going to finally do it, user?

Don't kill yourself. Life is meaningless, yes, but you could still thrive in that meaningless.

You are too young. You still have a future. Go to therapy. Seek family about this. Do anything. You are too young.

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Pls think about this, I know suicide seems like the best and fastest way, but Life has so mich oppurtunities. If you try to find a hobby it would bring you joy and a meaning. Ort you could help others. Trying Tod make their lives better. A pet could be a Option to. A dog will love you no matter what. Pls consider changing your point oft view instead oft just ending everything

Come on man, don't do this. This isn't right. This is not the right thing to do. Suicide is wrong. You have to snap out of it. Just talk about it. What is bothering you so much that you think you have to kill yourself?

I'm not really saying it will all get better someday. I am just saying suicide is not the right thing to do. Life sucks, but we just have to bare through it until we die naturally.

You guys, should I take some Xanax before hanging? I don't want to fall asleep but I'll make the thing easier. I tried asphyxiating myself and now my head hurts like hell. I don't have the will power to do it standing so I need to jump from the balcony? Will this kill me?

So dying is ok? Then how is suicide not?

I just wanted to kill myself 2 weeks ago but I was to scared because of the pain it would cost.
Now I'm feeling even shittier because I know I am a coward and trapped in my body and in this life

Same

OP, Godspeed whatever choice you make, as stated I'd kill myself If I weren't a pussy, so I won't try to dissuade you, but just take a moment to think about this: from your age I guess you'd be starting college soon. There you usually meet some potential gfs, and college itself can give something to occupy yourself with, and if you make the right choice you could study stuff you really enjoy. So just think about it if you're still there. Also I'll allow myself to recommend listening to Zack Hemsey - I can get it back.

>Just hang in there man
i see what you did there

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lol, I literally didn't even realize that when I typed it. I should I have chosen my words more carefully.

Come on man. Don't do this. Why won't you listen to us? Can you please call the suicide hotline. Please, I don't want you to die. Or at least talk to us.

>so dying is okay? then how is suicide not?

about four years ago the brother of a good friend of mine hung himself in his room, the door right next to hers. she is still broken up about it, because she loved her brother and feels like she could have helped him, but wasn't given the opportunity back then (and also she was just 13). she still cries very regularly and generally feels shit about ir.

another friends brother died last year, it was an accident. he was not only his brother but also his friend and thus he's devasted. he doesn't have break downs nearly as often, as he knows that there is nothing he could have done.

when death breaks an arm, rendering it unusable for some time, suicide amputates it, never to be used again. it cripples friends and family and should not be considered

OP are you still alive? don't take xanax, it'll reduce your inhibitions more and you'll be more likely to actually go through with it. please tell me you're still here, just respond to this comment

Yes I'm still here, writing a goodbye letter to my family. I really don't want to leave them with too many questions. My mother is very stressed out and I'm pretty sure I'm part of the problem. She doesn't want a son who rarely leaves his room. She'll be glad to be rid of me.

think about how much you'll be missed. i don't know what your family situation is like, but please consider how much your parents (if they're in your life) have put in to raising you up to this point. all the time, love, sacrifice, money, everything.. all for nothing if you end it. don't do this user, i know you're suffering but you'd be doing something impossible to reverse and will be permanently scarring those that love you. i obviously don't know who you are, but there will be an user-sized hole left on this earth if you leave us. you still have so much life to live. don't give up mate. don't be a faggot and end it, stick through the shit you're facing and make us robots proud

Why won't you listen to us? DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE. PLEASE don't do it! Why won't you just stop and talk to us? please just don't do it. It will absolutely devastate your family. They love you. I love you. DON'T DO THIS. please talk to us. why do you want to do this?

i'll stay on this thread all night if i have to user, just reassure me you won't actually do it. i know you're strong enough to stick it out, don't write the letter. you seem intelligent and self-aware, and you're so young. i thought about killing myself in college because shit was just fucked and i felt like a useless piece of shit, but i promise if you stick it out just another day you'll find reasons to be so happy you didn't end it here today. life is not easy, life is not fair, but life is ALL WE HAVE. there's no afterlife, god doesn't exist, all you've got is the skin you're in and the brain you're using to write that note. that and your family. that's it user. don't toss all of that away because you feel you can't get through the problems you're dealing with. stick with us, most of us might be fags here but you're not. it's not weak to not go through with it, it's weak if you do. please don't do it.

What mental illnesses do you have, if any
orig

>Tells you not to kill yourself because it would hurt other people
>Ignores your pain
Why do people do this? They're calling other people's inconvenience more important than your death.

You guys are really nice for putting up with me for so long. I haven't taken Xanax since I'm still preparing and believe me I'm listening but this is something I've been thinking about for so long. If I had a fucking gun I would do it in an instant but I don't want brain damage from a failed hanging. I feel relaxed when I cut so that's what I'm doing right now.
Would an extensioncord suffice as a rope when hanging? I have one laying around. Afraid my bedsheet will snap.

DONT, WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT.

definitely don't use something that isn't a rope, OP. as i've said don't use anything at all because an hero isn't worth it. with that being said, using something that's not a rope is a horrendous idea because it'll likely break with enough force and that could botch the suicide leaving you with permanent brain damage/in a coma. don't try killing yourself unless you're certain you can do it right. it'd be better to jump off a high structure than attempt a ghetto hanging in your bedroom that very likely won't kill you. i promise

Well i guess this is goodbye.

See you on the other side fren

Godspeed again user. Was a fleeting pleasure to meet you. May you find if not happiness then at least peace

user please call your mother and talk to her. Tell her what is happening. You got to reach out to someone. Or call the suicide hotline. Don't go through with this plan. user please, you're young you can fix your life. Don't do this. Please call your mom, keep talking to us.

Don't do it, man! You may feel like nothing, but your life may not always be nothing. It could get better. You are feeling what it truly means to be human. You feel the weight of the world's bad crushing you, and you feel like you can't hold it. Please. Dont do it!!!!