I don't recall ever becoming depressed. It's just my natural state. I couldn't imagine it being any other way. When I see people who are happy, imagining myself being that way makes me nauseous.
Anyone else feel like depression is their natural state?
Gabriel Ward
Other urls found in this thread:
youtube.com
picrew.me
picrew.me
twitter.com
Logan Jenkins
Reminder: you will never get a girl like the one from OP pic
William Kelly
It's now or it's never, and I've got to
Make my decision
This time it could be my moment
Is this a mirage or a chance to fulfill my mission?
A river in a dry land
The last ace in a lost hand
A heartbeat for a tin man
Oasis in a singed land
Luis Evans
I made her resemble myself as much as possible so I wouldn't be attracted to her. I just want her to be cared for.
How do you not give in to the pressures of the outside world, user? How do you stay motivated?
Brandon Lewis
I've always had this. Ever since I was a kid I thought I was an observer, looking in from the outside, somehow eternally unable to ever find happiness. There was always something deeply wrong with me and my life. Now I'm pretty sure being a depressed shut-in and thinking about suicide 24/7 throughout my teenage years has permanently destroyed my brain.
Carter Miller
it's usually cyclic you might just not notice.
you'll go through periods where you start doing things again, then periods where those same things aren't fun anymore
that's called anhedonia and that's how you know you have chronic major depressive disorder
this is why people with the condition can't maintain a job or move up the employment ladder effectively. you'll be able to do well during the upward part of the cycle, but then suddenly just driving to work will make you want to turn the car off a bridge every morning
people with the condition tend to go between jobs and stick near the bottom of the ladder, such as the clerks movies
Nathan Gomez
For some people, living the "normal" life is just not an option. And I think that's fine. You don't have to live the socially acceptable life if you don't want to. People shouldn't be forced to chase happiness.
>being a depressed shut-in and thinking about suicide 24/7 throughout my teenage years has permanently destroyed my brain
Sometimes I wonder about that too. It feels that even my reading comprehension has suffered from years of depression.
Parker Hughes
>I made her resemble myself as much as possible
here's mine, i don't smoke though
funny how everyone else said things like "omg she isn't maximally cute you need to rotate the eyes to line up"
well thanks dude, my face is royally fucked that's great
Xavier Torres
There's a lot of evidence that depression messes with your brain. Probably even more so if you've had it since you were younger.
I think this is what I have. I'm doing fine for maybe one to two months (still thinking about an hero and all but able to get up in the morning and work for two hours) but then my brain breaks and I can't even brush my teeth.
Caleb Cook
see here to learn the very most basic stuff about it:
youtube.com
the audio sucks but it's comprehensible
Nicholas Garcia
>you'll be able to do well during the upward part of the cycle
It's been 20 years and I'm yet to experience this. I'm not even sure what to do now. I used to be capable in sciences, but now I have trouble comprehending anything I read.
Agreed. I've even purposefully avoided having her smile or wear anything other than sweaters and hoodies because how unrealistic it is. The only thing I took some artistic license with was occasionally adding a bow. Yours is cute either way. At least I can trust that it's close to how you truly are.
Carter Kelly
Can someone tell me what the fuck these samey anime faces that are taking over this site is?
Zachary Johnson
Here you go. Go wild and then cry that you'll never look as cute as your character.
Justin Baker
it's some the "waifu thread" threads where someone posted an "anime character creator"... basically you assemble predrawn layers like in a video game where you select race/hairstyle/shirt/etc and you can create a custom image/avatar that way.
it's fun to experiment to try one out and i tried "going realistic" which was a failure of course. difficulty: impossible mode.
yeah mine i sent to one of my friends and she said "she has your eyes"... it's that optimistic/happy/laughing but extremely painful look of despair combination i think.
Robert Ortiz
I click random once and I get this monstrosity
Dominic Gutierrez
>It's been 20 years and I'm yet to experience this.
it can be hard to tell unless you're mindful of it. they say "mindfulness", simply being aware of your own thoughts and emotions and judging them logically/rationally is the most effective method of dealing with depression.
it beats medications significantly... most medications can't beat a placebo until you're bedridden and slitting your wrists to bleed out on the sheets.
for the vast majority of us that never even go that low at the worst of times drugs are totally useless. the professor talks about that in the lecture i linked.
if you become more mindful you might start to notice a bit more and it'll just be a sort of revelation where you say "hey, this has been happening all along i just didn't know it!"
for example i'm on a high on the downward trend right now. normally i wouldn't go anywhere near forums or chat or so on. i'll probably disappear from Jow Forums for a few months then come back again on the next high tide. it is possible to mediate the effects by absolutely forbidding yourself to think irrational negative thoughts. if you can develop the ability to identify delusional thinking patterns and stop them, that'll stop the build up of stress hormones and allow you to maintain a delicate balance.
it doesn't allow you to stop the repeating pattern of ups and downs, but you can significantly reduce the negative effects and keep yourself focused on positive, beneficial stuff you enjoy. working too hard isn't good, it pays off a ton to spend a day watching movies or gaming or whatever you find really relaxing. eventually the next day you'll be charged up and ready to work again.
Ethan Cooper
daikawaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii desu
Wyatt Hill
Great, now I have something to waste my time on.
Caleb Taylor
Being happy feels unrealist like being in a dream totally alien to robots.
also try making your waifu ugly,
Evan Walker
yeah i really agree with you, im always kinda tainted a shade of dark but not in a pretentious way it's just like im not into anything. always looking at thing in a downer sortof way.
Grayson Adams
You're right, I can't say that I've ever been happy or even understand what it would feel like. Even when I was a child I wasn't happy, I just hated myself less
Wyatt Young
The worst 4me is the realization that I can't go off my 3 different meds for it or else I stop function and the panic attacks start.. I became that guy that people will think he is a zombie or not himself or being controlled by meds or even dangerous if I don't havr the meds..
Literally a detective human which lowers dramatically your value to dating seriously in 2019.
Or it is all in my head and women still look for things that matter like loyalty and I have a chance..
Carter Ward
Depression didn't used to be as much of an issue for me since it just comes and goes but due to recent events it's been going pretty gung-ho on me and although it still isn't too much of an issue, I mean, by r9k standards I am shockingly well-functioning, I still kinda miss feeling emotions to the same depth I did when I was a little younger tho....and not having some days where it takes nearly all my willpower just to shower, shave or even brush my teeth.
Oliver James
like all things in life it isn't so simple that you can just break it all down to one or two things.
the most important thing is that you have to absolutely strive to be the best at what you can do well.
even then you'll get stabbed in the back by someone you did absolutely everything for; this is where the striving comes in: continue to strive and continue to do your absolute best no matter what.
even so it's a rough game of dice and you can't always roll exactly the way you'd like. you just have to take it in stride, it is what it is.
John Phillips
I dont
I simply dont
I have no real motivation
Tyler Martinez
I'm unironically starting to hate my depressed friend/housemate. I'm depressed too and honestly he's been through a lot of shit, but he just has zero fucking maturity in solving his problems. Every day I listen to him ramble on about how he wants to hurt the people who've wronged him or kill himself, it's so violent and constant and I don't want to fucking hear it but he spergs out and tries to guilt trip me if I don't listen to his bullshit. If I try to talk to him he's always playing some stupid gacha bullshit on his phone and half the time doesn't even respond because he's being passive aggressive or feeling sorry for himself. Talks about his ex gf all the time too, like I'm supposed to feel bad for someone who's had like 8 gfs in his life and tried to fuck my oneitis.
Sorry for the blogpost but yeah, sinking into depression really makes people an unlikeable asshole.
Christian Morgan
I hope you will find happiness one day user.
I don't know how but we will make it someday.
Connor Lopez
blogposts rule bro fistbump
paragraphs are good too though
Logan Reed
It's too late for that now. The deed has been done.
Asher Thomas
You area good original user.
Xavier Parker
Thanks user, I sincerely hope you do as well
Nicholas Richardson
What's the link to create this thing? I went to picrew.me
Jose Campbell
>picrew.me
Origiolio.
Jack Allen
Depression isnt REAL. Depression is the actualization of repressed desire. Depressed people are so convinced of their inadequacies that they project their perceived failure into their environment.
WE are depressed because we KNOW that society and life isnt worth playing the game. We can never be a part of the normie world. This brings us to a state of mind that nothing we do is ever worth the while of those that perceive us. We are pointless. And in our pointlessness we compare our worth to the worth of others and always come up short, because we feel that THEY think they are better than us.
Society has a level of expectation that we cant achieve. In your neighbor, in your brother, in your mother, and sister, and your friends, in your coworkers, and in your self lies an awareness that YOU are not worthy because you believe that (((THEY))) are not worthy of YOU!
depression is manifestation of narcissism. Because in order to be depressed you have to be overwhelmingly validated in yourself; That you are the main focus of your life.
Depression is like subscribing to yourself on facebook.
CRY ME A RIVER AND FIGHT ME
>my face when im talking to myself
Who wants to make a suicide pact? Anyone?
Brandon Hall
That's an interesting viewpoint. And I'm almost inclined to agree. But if we're the ones overwhelmingly validated in ourselves, then what does that make normies? Double validated? I can't possibly believe that they are any less self-centered. Seeking validation from others is way more normal for them. The way I see your point, is that normies are less narcissistic just because they acknowledge others, even if it's for selfish reasons.
I agree. I am self-centered. I absolutely hate investing my time in others. even if it would be mutually beneficial and I don't have anything better to do anyway. I guess I'm just a miserable misanthrope then. An yes, I do want to make a suicide pact with you.
Wyatt Bennett
>then what does that make normies?
They are absolutely deluded. They do not question their circumstances, and even if they do question they can easily seek out comfort in the deluded lies of others. WE on the other hand are self aware and know that there is no real comfort to be had.
Normies depend on other normies to make them feel better about themselves, and without that validation they would fall apart. But all of their confidence comes from a fabricated lie about society, that they are actually important in some way. They are equally narcissistic but THEIR narcissism is enabled by other normies.
Its the facebook mentality. Get a like get a follower. Perpetuate the lie that you are of more worth than you really are.
In reality depressed people are only different from normies in the sense that WE know there is no purpose in doing things to increase our perceived value. Normies actually believe that doing things is worth it because they can put on a show for everyone that sees them.
we're all equally narcissistic in truth, but its the normies that live the lie.
Austin Powell
>imagining myself being that way makes me nauseous
I imagine myself raping them in closest dumpster
Camden Morales
me if i wuz a woman
Connor Roberts
uhm correction. Normies believe they are inherently worthy of others and that others ARE worthy of them. Which causes them to seek MORE validation in themselves from others. They ARE more narcissistic, and in a worse way than us.
Chase Flores
I guess it explains why I don't even want to be happy in the first place. If it feels good but is fake, then is it really that good?
You're very cute. I'd definitely hide some bodies together.
very qt
Colton Adams
Stop trying to be happy and you'll find yourself truly happy. It might feel miserable because you still have to live in the world, but i have a feeling that trying to find happiness brings more sadness. Life is more about being content than in a constant struggle to be happy. Because how silly is that, struggling to be happy. Its redundant. A redundancy that so many people fall for.
Hudson Fisher
Yeah, I've figured that. Haven't really been trying in a while.
Oliver Powell
we must do what we can, and we can be content if we choose to, we control our minds, and if we think long enough, we have alot already. infact we have alot of opportunities and possibilities if we stop looking out there and start paying attention to what's here.
Benjamin Collins
She's a drawing user, you can make one yourself.
Sebastian Taylor
you're what's called a "cunt" OP.
It's not your natural state.
>When I see people who are happy, imagining myself being that way makes me nauseous.
shut up mate jesus christ
Ryder Barnes
Just read this to a depressed friend. Blew their mind open so quick that they decided to not even think about it and told me to stop. lol
Brayden Turner
I dont know whats going on with me emotionally anymore. In the last few weeks my mood swung dramatically from a state of extreme sadness and despair to one of total numbness. I cant tell which one best fits the definition of depression but I know that where I am now is closer to my baseline.
I almost miss feeling all that pain and crying every night because it was just so cathartic. I can see how some people could get addicted to that feeling and wallow around in it forever while life passes them by.
Last night I watched A Silent Voice (2017) and I didnt even feel a thing.
Zachary Evans
Why do normies get s angry when someone doesn't subscribe to their worldview? I'm not hurting you by being the way I am.
Nathan Barnes
Because first of all this
and also this
If normies encounter anything that makes them question their worldview and perception they are immediately in defense mode to keep their ideals safe. What they believe is only protected by their disregard of anything different.
They reject you BECAUSE they like the way they are. They are comfortable in their ways. Challenging them only makes them push you away.
>what is a clique
David Jenkins
The worst thing about depression is how it makes you question everything. I can't find joy in anything, I have no motivation and I can't imagine it ever changing. I'm a Christian and I feel like I've been abandoned by the lord.
Levi Jenkins
desu im copying and saving this. thank you user. been awhile since ive been on r9k (started feeling circular). this is the kind of content that initially drew me in.
Caleb Gutierrez
You're making extreme generalizations here, granted most of the autists and incels here can agree due to their nature, but you're still generalizing regardless.
Society has a very low bar of expectations if even the worst drags in it can succeed in their own way, then what does that say about you? Obviously most people here are superior, so I would disagree that you cannot meet societies expectations, but rather due to your mental state you cannot.
What lies are you talking about? You're not making much sense here. It's obvious you guys cannot find much comfort, but I would chalk that up to your mental state, rather than society itself. Yes, humans do depend on each other.... is this news? Last I was aware, humans are social animals. Yes, most people are important one way or the other. I would agree that many people do have a hubris, but not all of society, that is a gross exaggeration. There are things you can do to improve your self worth.... like treating your illness for a start.