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Mom, I know you sexually abused me when I was a kid

Rolling for hope original

Hey G. Im sorry.
I know this is unexpected and I dont mean to bother you because I know you've cut ties with me a long time ago, but I just wanted you to know that Im sorry for everything Ive done, and most of all Im sorry for not letting you in on all that was going on at the time.
I loved you for a long 6 years, and you're the only person I can/could ever imagine myself having children with someday. You might as well just be the love of my life that I let go of for the wrong reasons. I loved you so much. Even years after you moved to another state, I'd cry over how you made me feel and marvel at your perfection and Id pray to god he'd bring you back, for I felt the purest form of love for you.
At first you rejected me, because this was wrong. Plus, you were dating that disgusting weeb named F. When you left him, you came to me out of nowhere and asked me to be yours. That was probably the happiest day of my life, Id been waiting for that moment for so long. I told you everything, and we became a couple. I was sure that we would last, and I know that you did as well, but life fucks people up, doesnt it?
I couldnt be with you, regardless of how much I loved you. You always wanted to go out, all the time, and the tyrants wouldnt let me out of my house to be with you, so I kept coming up with excuses and upsetting you, even though thats not what I intended.

I couldnt be with you at all times, I was under constant severe abuse that you were never made aware of, and Im sorry for not being open about it. That shit really held me back. And when we were in public, I couldnt even hold your hand without feeling extremely nervous about being ratted out to the tyrants, and being afraid of judgement. But I loved you. I really did.
And that night, on your birthday. To this day, you probably dont understand what happened. That night I met your mother and your brother, I was welcomed into your family. I took you out to the movies and bought you a beautiful ring with all the money I had saved up for months, as well as art supplies from my own collection. It was a lovely night, until you started kissing me during the movie. Something as mundane as that, what could go wrong?
Well, you unknowingly triggered my childhood sexual abuse ptsd at that moment. I started silently panicking and I felt like I was being held hostage by your side the whole time, praying for the movie to end so I could go home and it would all be over. And having to act cool while your dad dropped me off at my place.
God, you had no idea. I was an asshole for doing this to you. After that night I never talked to you again and left you hanging for weeks, until you finally asked me if i wanted to break up with you, and i reluctantly said yes.
I want to kill myself every time I think about what Ive done. Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life and I wish I could have you back now that ive worked things out and am more mentally stable. I love you, I really do, and no one in this planet is as perfect as you were and always will be.
Forever yours,
MM

Dear my soulmate,

I will always believe in your talent. You can take yourself to a higher level.
I would love to support you if you need me. But I know that someone is already by your side.

I wonder how blissful it is if I gave you all my love...

There is so much I want to say to you and so little words that I can find to describe it all. When I first met you, you brought such joy and laughter into my life. How could things change so quickly? It feels like just yesterday we were meeting each other and going to concerts and shooting the shit like best buddies. I fucked that up. I fucked that up so hard and I wish I hadn't. I wish I could go back to when we were just friends, or wish I could take back when I said I had feelings for you. I know that's the root of our troubles, I think you knew that better than I ever did.
Being the way things are, there are only two ways this can "end". Either we never talk again, or we reconnect someday. I'm told the latter is possible, perhaps expected. I'm starting to think it isn't. And even if it was, we'd never be the same.
I never wanted to hurt you. I'm so sorry that I did. I never even realized I did. You're my other half and I feel fucking lost without you. You'd hate that, I know, but its true.
I know you're probably not even thinking about me right now. I know that when you speak of me, it's angry and sad and full of hurt. Just like how we used to talk about the villains from your past. Now I'm one of them.
I think in a fucked up way I still love you. Still want to rest my head in your arms and shut off the world. I think about when we did that that morning and it destroys me.
I love you. I really hope this isn't the end. I hope that there is some good way out of this, that we can go back. I know there isn't but I still want to believe in it. I want to believe that you're still my friend and that you still care, and that you even cared in the first place.
I'm sorry. Please take care.

this thread is too full of feels :(
god bless everyone

I agree, Mike is a fucking asshole.
Like fuck you dude, we try to be nice but you decide to be a fucking asshole.
Had i got my way, you'd be dead, and not from Cardiacs ya fat piece of shit.

Signed, another guy that hates Mike.

roll for this
o

"Law of attraction."
we can do it!

rolling again cause i really want it

yooooo have to send and screencap it now

don't forget me desu.
that's all I want, I want you to see what I become.
cya tomorrow fren :)

Dad
Why did you made me even though you didn't want me
I hope you eat yourself to death

To all the Anons on here: I hope you never find your perfect girlfriend, because when you do it probably won't work out and that will probably kill you inside.

Sam,

I don't know what I did to deserve this. Maybe you have to lose the one you love more than anything in the world to learn the most important lessons.

I knew you weren't perfect for me, but you were pretty damn close. I'll never forget what it was like when we met--how the attraction was instant, the rush of feelings, rushing into a serious relationship and getting to experience adulthood at the same time.

I think you are my soulmate. I lost you, even though I tried my best and did what I thought was right. We all hear stories as kids that if you find someone you love and do your best it will work out... I guess that's just not true.

It's been five months since we broke up. I started casually seeing another girl but I know it'll never feel the same again and I'll never care as much about relationships again.

You don't haunt my dreams anymore but I still see your face and hear your voice during the day. It tortures me.

I hope someday I'll feel completely alive again.

Adam

T
I get I felt the vibe I was being creepy to you but that doesn't mean you have the right to ghost me like a cunt.

Then again this might be karma for what I did to someone else. Still, fuck you for ghosting me. I just wanted to date and see what you're like more deeply. I was thinking something casual but you denied it.

Dear A

I still care for you tons and have feelings for you, at a crossroads where i dont know if i dust my hands off and try move on or get to stay talking to you. I do still enjoy your company and sorry ive been acting weird. I always had it in my head that we'd get back together and do things and be happy, i suppose i never moved on and looked for something else even after we drifted apart, so knowing that you've completely moved on to someone else and that you've been seeing him for a while came as a shock and a difficult thing to cope with. I still really appreciate your company and your time. Thank you for still talking to me when others dont.

B

dear A if you still browse Jow Forums let alone this miserable cesspool im sorry i pushed you away
i know you wanted to stay friends instead but i just didn't have the emotional strength to do that im sorry if i hurt you at all i just couldn't do that anyway i know you removed me on steam a few months ago so i have no way of clue on how to contact you i hope you're alright now im sorry i didn't appreciate you enough to keep you around idk if it was selfish of me or not you would have probably made a great friend i just didn't have the strength to stay friends with you after we broke up

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alex if you still browse Jow Forums let alone this miserable cesspool im sorry i pushed you away
i know you wanted to stay friends instead but i just didn't have the emotional strength to do that im sorry if i hurt you at all i just couldn't do that anyway i know you removed me on steam a few months ago so i have no way of clue on how to contact you i hope you're alright now im sorry i didn't appreciate you enough to keep you around idk if it was selfish of me or not you would have probably made a great friend i just didn't have the strength to stay friends with you after we broke up

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fucking stupid phone posted it twice lmao

By dust my hands of i dont mean to imply that youre a handful, just unsure if i let you forget about me or not seeing as its probably selfish me not wanting to let go of you. Miss us being together a ton and thank you for talking to me still, makes me feel less alone. :-)
-B

J,
It's been really hard to stop thinking about you.
The selfish part of me wants you to feel the same but I want you to move on and meet someone extraordinary who isn't a liar and doesn't lead you on out of selfishness. I wished for that at all the Shinto and Buddhist shrines we visited so maybe you'll have some luck on your side.
C

I fell in love with my therapist who is also a girl.

funny story i was actually was going to do this before my friend stopped me from my autism. I was going to write a confession letter but in morse code, he just told me just be direct and i did it. she said yes but she felt pressured so like a week of dating. but i did it bots

Alex/S
I miss you, when you left I couldn't get back in contact with you because all of my emails and accounts were fucked. I added you on your old skype.
ps. I hope you didn't turn into the faglord Alex everyone on r9k talks about

Initial? Originally original

Dear Claire,

I'm sorry I ghosted you after you left my place. It was a sorta weird and doomed setup from the get-go though. We hadn't even known each other a week, and you ask to stay at my place for 3 days while your apartment is remodeled? Wild concept, but I accepted, because I wanted to fuck you. You've got a cute goth aesthetic, you're thick in all the right places, you're artsy, and I loved kissing and licking your entire body. I never understood why girls like you are so insecure about your body; it's not like chubby girls are starved for attention in this country. You're fun to cuddle and touch, and your walking around nude in the early mornings and late nights was a huge turn-on.

I'd have asked you about a relationship, but you seemed dead set on leaving the state when your lease is up here in a few months, and I just didn't want to deal with that. You want to travel before settling down and doing that sorta domestic shit. That's fine, I get it, but there's a reason why you're living paycheck-to-paycheck, girl. It's all those tattoos, hair products, and plane tickets. Maybe you only wanted a couch to sleep on for a few nights, and that's the only reason you fucked me? You know, you could afford your own place too, if you were grown up enough to prioritize your spending. I wish you luck out there. I'm not a doomsday prepper or anything, but the world is sort of going to shit, and if you aren't focused on establishing and stabilizing yourself, you're gonna have a bad time. I'm all for stopping to smell the flowers, but it can't be all that you do! I just want somebody with a similar drive.

Also, your damn cat got hair all over my suit jacket.

Come back im fucking bored.

Dear M,

I am so emotionless now. Or any range of emotions is suffocated by a single obsession with singing. I think our family is sick. I'm afraid to sing, I don't have the breath. I want to meet someone to cultivate my love for them and everyone. But all my joy seems snuffed out by these fears. I feel like a ghost, just floating by, never really making an impact on anybody. I would like to calm down and sing when the time comes. However I can't get my mind off it. When I'm really happy every couple weeks it doesn't seem like I need to all that much, and this is freeing. I would like to sing but I am unable to handle this pressure. I just want to laugh and love and relax and have fun again. Our interactions feel fruitless and I think you despise me secretly. I am suffering with these knives in my heart. Must I really do everything my brain says? What would happen if I did?