I hope I get cancer and fucking die. I really, really, really fucking do. What's a great way to get a disease that'll kill me? I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself outright, but if I get some incurable ailment, I won't have any way to go back.
I seriously, honestly, genuinely hope I get cancer and die. I fucking hate my life. My mind's a fucking shitshow, I can't focus, I'm constantly ill, I can't sleep because of the (non-lethal unfortunately) illness I've had for the last 3 months, and I just want it to end.
I stand in the mirror and look myself in the eyes and talk about how much I deserve to die, like I'm trying to convince the fat, ugly piece of shit in the mirror to just end it.
I feel like I'm losing my mind. I just break out into laughter sometime, I flail my arms around while making weird fucking noises, and I punch myself in the fucking face.
It's so horrible. It's constant pain. I hate it so much, I just want out.
I hope I get cancer and fucking die. I really, really, really fucking do...
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damn I read this and I was like DAMN glad I'm not this guy
I have no advice on how to fix your shitty life other than: Try your best to change it to literally anything else because you'd probably like it more
I wish I could say the same. In the middle of typing this I just zoned out and stared into space for a solid 15 seconds, my mouth agape and my eyes unfocused. I knew I was doing it too, but couldn't even will myself to.
Cancer would be nice. Lying in a hospital bed and withering away is what I want, totally and unironically.
It really isn't and once you figure that out itll be too late
>itll be too late
that's what I want. I want to have absolutely no way of going back. I can decide not to shoot myself in the head, but once I'm riddled with tumors, I can't decide not to die.
You know full well you will regret it so why not skip that part and move on
I have nothing to move onto.
I'm sick. Physically sick. And I've been sick for the last 3 months, with absolutely no sign of recovery, and I'd be happy about if it'd just kill me. But no, it's just constant congestion - enough to make breathing difficult and painful, but not enough to put an end to my life.
I just wanna die. I'm so depressed and angry and bitter and tired and guilty.
you're straight out of luck OP
jpost.com
Why so guilty.
If you want cancer just start smoking. At least a pack a day, ideally 2 or three.
It's what I do.
My mother smoked for 50 years and she is still kicking and exercising at 65
Bitterness drives you to do horrible things to the people you love. Or maybe, I was just born rotten. In any case, I've basically spurned my parents' love and rejected all the help I've been offered. I ditched a suicidal friend because I couldn't handle their problems alongside my own. I've ignored every chance I've ever been given. I threatened to kill our family pets in front of my disabled mother just to frighten her. I've sworn, yelled, and thrown hatred their way non-stop.
I've given zero effort for anything in my life. Failed at it all. Disappointed everybody.
Instead of getting cancer, have you tried just being yourself?
yeah getting sick so my family cant blame me and tell me to just deal with shit anymore would be ideal.
i mean if youre really serious you could get hiv
Maybe you'll feel better, if you start handing out apologies. Not fake, lighthearted ones, but truly meaningful apologies. You're obviously capable of doing so, seeing as you are guilty about what you did, and you've been mulling it over.
Start with that, and you'll see that people tend to be more forgiving, even if not at first.
>fat
stopped reading there i dont know why but i just dont care about fat people, i dont care what they have to say. youre usually annoying, needy and gross. stop eating loads of garbage food and you might feel better. god, ew just find something active and stick to it and eat better. fats are the worst
My apologies are worthless. After every outburst, that's exactly what I do, I give heartfelt apologies, and they claim to accept them - but a week later, and I'm back on my shit.
I've even hit my mom once. I punched her right in the face.
That's way over the line, that's not something you just come back from. I made her cry through sheer emotional abuse, I broke her, I made her scream out in literal emotional anguish on her birthday from just yelling and screaming at her.
Whenever I think about these things, my stomach starts to hurt and I feel like I'm gonna puke, and I think about it all the time.
Well no shit, that isnt a real apology. A REAL apology involves you actually taking the effort to change shit. Not just for a week, or a month, or even a year, but forever. You can't just give up on it and continue what you're doing, that's poison. You have to make an effort to fix the mistakes you made. You won't be rewarded for it, not one bit, but you will be making an effort, and that will help others, especially your mother, to eventually accept you, if not forgive you for past actions. More importantly, you'll feel better about yourself, even if you cant forgive yourself for those mistakes.
sounds like you might just be kind of a fuck
I'm going to preface this by telling you you're basically talking to a brick wall. I'm not going to take your advice. I can't even muster up the courage to walk across the hallway and drink a cup of water, which I really want right now. Even lifting my hands to type this is a huge pain that's leaving me more drained by second.
I can't even keep my mouth closed, it's hanging open right now because keeping it shut requires energy I just don't have.
Living is torture. It'll always be torture. That's why I want it to end.
Yeah.
Even brick walls have a purpose, and you more than anyone else need to fix yourself because you're the only one who can.
Remind yourself of that when you're doing your brick wall things.
if youre not going to listen then whyd you make this thread? to have people come along and say do it? or to have others to wallow in your fat boy, abusive, childlike behavior? sounds like you need to stop beating yourself up and grow the hell up and be a man, if not just be an adult an move past that shit. noones a saint just be the best you can from this point forward, shit stop crying and wanting to die and try to fucking change you little fat pussy bitchg. GROW THE FUCK UP. we all have to at some point and just opting out and killing yourself is the weakest gayest thing anyone can do. you have freewill you can do what you like and be happy. wake up, shut up, and move on. its time
No, I wanted advice on how to best get cancer, and I've gotten it.
I'm going to start smoking as much as humanly possible.
I hoped to get cancer and I actually did.
I dont know how it happened but I'm at my last treatment right now and pretty much cured
Helium my nigger
>israeli
Feck off
just microwave your head for a couple minutes a day
>it's another "I want to die but suicide is SOOOO HAAAAAAARD :(((, please tell me how I can kill myself without putting in any effort at all" thread
No shit suicide is hard, your body and brain are hardwired to stay alive. If you were really suicidal, if your desire to die truly overpowered your instinct to survive, you wouldn't be sitting here whining about how much you, like, totally want to die, seriously, for realz you gaiz, you would have already done it. You just think you want to die because you think committing suicide is easier than actually fixing your problems. but here you are, looking for a way to end your life without any effort on your part. You wanted to take the easy way out, but even the easy way out costs more effort than your incompetent, lazy, half-assing ass is willing to exert. You half-assed life, now you're half-assing your death. You're the kind of person who would rather sit passively and wait for what you want to just drop into your lap than do anything to actually earn it, and THAT is why you are miserable, and why you will continue to be miserable until you start making changes.
Not op and this is almost too related to me
Cancer is incredibly miserable, better to pray for a freak accident that will be quick. Good luck OP.
just drink lots of alcohol every day, it'll shorten your lifespan and make being a miserable lonely waste of space not seem as bad
damn I read this and I was like DAMN sad I'm this guy