Oy vey

Go work at hollywood, or maybe become a banker or something like that. I'd complain constantly that anyone criticizing me was an anti-Semite just because I could.

Make my way back to Jesus

Actually pass 7th grade math.

Shoot up a mosque.

join the israeli army

There are actually lots of Jews involved in poker. I don't know the exact figures but it's far more than their share of the population.

A notable example would be Stu Ungar,

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stu_Ungar

He died many years ago and is still considered to be one of the most technically proficient poker player ever. That's pretty unheard of as poker becomes tougher over time because player pools improve. A great player from 20 or 30 years ago would be a novice in today's games.

The story is the same but with a different ending. A clearly gifted Jew from an early age who had an eidetic memory and could tell you the last card of a 6-deck shoe after you flipped through it. He was terribly addicted to drugs and died broke with a collapsed nose from cocaine use though. In his mangled state, he still managed to win the World Series of Poker tournament one last time during which he made a noteworthy call with 10 high after his opponent busted a low straight draw and reraised him on the river as a bluff.

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Shill inter-racial relationships and blacked porn on Jow Forums.

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Buy lube, I guess.
It's a shame. I liked my foreskin.

be rich and stay that way
ta da

Start taking peoples shekels

>ungar
>poker

Didnt he play rummy? Speaking of which, I wish I had someone to play rummy with

Get a good managerial job using (((connections))), then complain openly around town and on my social medias that millennials need to stop working shit jobs.

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Go to Hollywood

Yes, the article talks about that.

>Ungar won a local gin tournament at age 10. He dropped out of school to play gin rummy in the 1960s full-time to help support his mother and sister after his father died, and began regularly winning tournaments which earned him $10,000 or more. By 1976, he was regarded as one of the best players in New York.

>Ungar eventually had to leave New York due to gambling debts at local race tracks.

>One of the reasons Ungar eventually took up poker exclusively was because gin action had dried up due to his skilled reputation. Ungar destroyed anyone who challenged him in a gin match, including a professional widely regarded as the best gin player of Ungar's generation, Harry "Yonkie" Stein. Ungar beat Stein 86 games to none in a high-stakes game of Hollywood Gin, after which Stein dropped out of sight in gin circles and eventually stopped playing professionally. As one observer who knew him put it, Stein "was never the same after that night." After beating Stein and several other top gin professionals, Ungar was a marked man. Nobody wanted to play him in gin. In the hopes of generating more action for himself, Ungar began offering potential opponents handicaps to even the playing field. He was known to let his opponent (professional or not) look at the last card in the deck, offer rebates to defeated opponents and always play each hand in the dealer position, all of which put him at a strong disadvantage.[1]

>At the time Ungar first visited Las Vegas in 1977, gin was still popular in a tournament format, much like heads up poker tournaments. Ungar won or finished high in so many gin tournaments that several casinos asked him to not play in them because many players said they would not enter if they knew Ungar was playing.[11] Ungar later said in his biography that he loved seeing his opponent slowly break down over the course of a match, realizing he could not win and eventually get a look of desperation on his face.[6]

Then What do you buy with the money?

subvert my host nation

>buy with the money
What?

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O fuck I didn't know he was into poker too. What the fuck was this fucking nigga on? 10 years old and already wiping the floor with other players. What chance do any of us have

Invest it

i honesty would kill myself

It's sort of like John von Neumann. Some people just have incredible brains.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_von_Neumann

Destroy Israel from the inside

Absolutely based and redpilled trips...originally, of course

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jerk off with my foreskinned cock then kill myself

What in the fuck. Nigga was doing calculus at age 8. That's it, I give up.

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