Lets have a comfy thread and just chat

tears and sad all day man

hey op,
I cry about three to four times a week.
More often than not, I cry myself to sleep at night.

I'm tired and I feel more depressed than I have been in a while.

Gonna listen to some Animus, and go to sleep.

I haven't cried for emotional reasons for about eight years when I decided that the next time I would cry those would be tears of happiness.
When I think about it, it makes me want to cry. But I won't.

if you give up in society try vidya user i spend 5 hours playing dwarf fortress i stop crying since me crying wont change anything and would only be my weakness

i dont know if this will help you but anyway stalk random people on street and write it in your notebook or something all activities of "subject 001" idk i found it fun and dungeons at same time that why i like it for some reason i know is weird but i dont care it since it help me like i no longer shake when ordering pizza

Good-day user.

Haven't got as much done in the field of study as I'd have hoped though otherwise the day has been wholesome. Won employee of the month to quite an ovation (as apparently I saved the store, admittedly feel really happy) and finished book on Iran. Going to finish books on Doncaster and Yorkshire fishing heritage tonight and hopefully assuming that I can stay awake to do so - cap off another English medieval history book 'Medieval England - A Social History 1250-1550'. Really enjoy medieval history for some reason, perhaps because its absurdly straight forward yet spans a large degree of content - you can't really get confused by it in any sense. Going to finish Planetarian tonight, considering my lack of knowledge on it, should be fun. Also going to start second season of Chuunbyou. Will study more and do some more drawing/ modelling on the path.

Figured I'd put more effort into planning ahead to see how much money I can conserve and so done a 'weekly shopping' sort of list to work with that appears rather cheap. Should do good. Seem to be tonnes of yobs out the previous two days - don't know what that's about. There's always yobs around here but not gangs like there are the previous few days, quite obtrusive.

Cried yesterday thanks to this scene; youtube.com/watch?v=Q4kA9PFHb-Y iktf too well.

Hope you are doing well. Is there anything that you'd like to do tonight? I-in an exploitative sense... a-as in like playing games and watching documentaries?

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Hey OP, how are things going?
>How often you cry?
Probably around twice a week, maybe more than that lately
>how is it fair
As cliche as it sounds, life isn't fair
Hello friend
>Won employee of the month
Congratulations! Considering all the effort you put in what you, I'm pretty sure you deserved it
Does the store have something like a wall with pictures of the employees of the month like those you see in movies?
The amount of books you manage to read at once is astounding. Can you estimate how many you've read in your life?
>Really enjoy medieval history for some reason
Medieval history is cool. Wars of all kinds, religious disputes, facts of nobles and it's quite fascinating how buildings of that period are still well kept
>Going to finish Planetarian tonight
Nice
>Also going to start second season of Chuunbyou
Is it good? Going to watch it anyway, but is it like some sort of scholastic comedy or SoL?

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im social anxious but that sounds terrible man.
keep strong
> Won employee of the month to quite an ovation
Hey good job, keep being a go getter if they take notice.
do you borrow or buy these books man holy shit.
the amount you read.
> Planetarian
actually good anime.

>Hope you are doing well. Is there anything that you'd like to do tonight? I-in an exploitative sense... a-as in like playing games and watching documentaries?
Hey i tried play runescape as I had heavy feels more than usual, but I cant enjoy shit.
even fapping.
I am all about positive life changes at the moment.

>As cliche as it sounds, life isn't fair
if it was fair then bad things should happen to me more, my cousin had bowel cancer last year and I just think.
it should have been me that died not a man with a family.

Life isnt fair, maybe the next one is.
what even is this, why do we exist just to suffer

I think it might, I'm not sure as to what is going to happen (it was a couple hours staff meeting and I left shortly after the results) though its nice to be acknowledged. I didn't really start reading constantly until last year so I can't see it as being very high, I believe my Goodreads account has about 195 entries last time I checked (don't like the website honestly though its the easiest way of cataloging things). I'd add fifty or more on from all years prior, perhaps less. Going to the library makes me feel really good and these days is a ritual of sorts. You've summed up medieval history well, are there any books in that field that have caught your interest?

Thank-you a tonne for recommending Planetarian by the way, are looking forward to finishing it, will pick it up again in about half an hour. Chuunbyou is for ease of explanation the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya w/ elements of Welcome to the NHK (I know comparisons are cheap but I do suck at explaining things), its a fun slice-of-life and better than the average though still nothing in particular.

Hope the stress isn't getting to you too much by the way, don't let it pull on your mental health as things honestly lose their magnitude with failure, you can only do your best.

Both I suppose; I'd say I have far over fifty books that I've bought within my room alone (mostly from charity shops and antique stores, I'm extremely frugal in regards to purchasing goods) in addition to ones loaned out of the library (currently now two from the metropolitan library to be returned on Monday and shall be finished tonight, also maxed out university library at 18 to focus on multiple disciplines and expanding ones foundational knowledge). Now that I look at it I must have well over 100 books in my room sectioned into fiction and non-fiction though I almost purely read the latter.

Runescape was great, did you get any 99 skill-capes?

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Furthermore, did you take part in clan wars of any sort? Sorry that you don't enjoy those sort of things at the moment, hopefully... well best of luck in gaining a thrill again from being kind of like touchy with yourself and s-stuff, baka.

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>tfw your home boards ignore you and it's your birthday

>Runescape was great, did you get any 99 skill-capes?
I never played it enough.
IDK if I will play it, grinding feels like working.
ill probably buy member and grind shit DESU if I get high enough level.
I hope I get to enjoy things but entropy heh.
>>tfw your home boards ignore you and it's your birthday
did I miss you man?
I only use R9K...fuck..

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>what even is this, why do we exist just to suffer
I wish I knew, I'd be able to choose if it's worth going on right away
>maybe the next one is
Do you believe in reincarnation?
>I think it might, I'm not sure as to what is going to happen
How would you take it if they'll actually put a picture of you on a wall?
> I didn't really start reading constantly until last year so I can't see it as being very high, I believe my Goodreads account has about 195 entries last time I checked
Holy shit, isn't that like a whole shelf in a bookstore?
>Going to the library makes me feel really good and these days is a ritual of sorts
pic related once again, you're reaching her pace
>are there any books in that field that have caught your interest?
Not really, it's just scholastic knowledge due to the fact that most of our literature was written in the Middle Age. I would suggest classic stuff like Dante or Boccaccio, but it loses much of its appeal if translated
>Thank-you a tonne for recommending Planetarian by the way
You're welcome. If you want something short after that, I've recently read Narcissu and it was pretty good
>Chuunbyou is for ease of explanation the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya w/ elements of Welcome to the NHK
This comparison makes me curious. I'll pick it up when I'm done with K-on
>Hope the stress isn't getting to you too much by the way, don't let it pull on your mental health as things honestly lose their magnitude with failure
Stress is a bit getting to me. I've talked about dropping out with my mother, but she doesn't want me to and so I guess that I'm now stuck with brute forcing my way through exams. Every time I fail, things look worse
Happy birthday, man, even though being ignored by a bunch of strangers shouldn't bother you this much

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I'm not done with this anime and I have cried at almost every episode, game is on sale on steam and I bought everything for it. Shits sad

>Do you believe in reincarnation?
Nah man, but who the fuck knows.
after ayahusca you could literally at the moment of death have the illusion as if you are immortal in your own personal heaven or hell.
we just dont know

Happy Birthday man, hope it has gone well so far and continues to do so, believe one might have replied to your thread if it were on the catalog.

Know what you mean with it becoming work; quite remember this kid at school who used to bully me and my friend for playing it, then he had a break-down because he got the game and got banned for botting, bless him. What level are you overall?

I wouldn't be surprised if they do, apparently that is one of the things which I find scary as I can't really smile without having an expression like Osaka from Azumanga Daioh.

It might be a book-case, had a rough count and it came to 117 books, yep I understand her feelings these days, being surrounded by so many concepts, stories, and life-changing information is such an overwhelmingly high feeling that it makes one happy being around them. Have a copy of Dante's 'Inferno' though don't feel worthy enough to read it yet, not until I've read the Greeks and resumed with the Romans at the very least. Its in English unfortunately, only foreign-language book I have is Faust and that was accidental. Narcissu sounds like a Lovecraftian monster, will have to look at it.

Sounds rough on your end, sure she is looking out for you though it can always be hard to tell, though do make sure you are climbing your prospective mountain not only for her though more importantly for yourself, the state and to let your torch blaze through the blizzard that is life. S-sorry for the autistic analogies.

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>What level are you overall?
idk man I only played for like not 24 hours in game time yet

>How often you cry?
i am crying right now.
had a depressive episode yesterday that was triggered by a bad grade in my C++ class...
one of my friends had a better grade but didnt study half of i did, let alone put in any effort, i got really insecure and impostor syndrome kicked right in. i ended up going full psycho in a group chat and everyone witnessed my downfall and how fucking cruel i was to him. i dont really care about the guy... he was an asshole to me before, it just sucks bc we were re building our friendship and i kinda fucked it up. also my there is someone i really like in that chat and they witnessed everything and they were mocking me, which is quite understandable.

i just feel shitty about the whole thing. plus i still feel the impostor syndrome thingy... i don't think i'm good enough for my major tbqh.

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Glad you're liking it. Finish the anime before reading the VN tho, it will make the reading better in my opinion. Also, use the guide.
>Nah man, but who the fuck knows
Same, that's the best stance to have. No one knows what comes after, it's stupid imposing a certain belief over things that can't be proven
>I can't really smile without having an expression like Osaka from Azumanga Daioh
Extremely relatable. I bet you dislike being in pictures in general as well
>being surrounded by so many concepts, stories, and life-changing information is such an overwhelmingly high feeling that it makes one happy being around them
Glad that you found something to be this passionate about
>Have a copy of Dante's 'Inferno' though don't feel worthy enough to read it yet
If you feel that way, I suggest you to read about Dante, Florence and Europe during that time. He makes quite a lot of references to his personal life, politics and religion. I hope your copy has notes on the side
>not until I've read the Greeks and resumed with the Romans at the very least
Quite a lot to recover
>Its in English unfortunately
It's still a good read, but it has particular relevance to the development of the Italian language as it is today
>only foreign-language book I have is Faust and that was accidental
Bought it without opening it?
>Narcissu sounds like a Lovecraftian monster
Nothing like that, it's actually a story I would recommend to anyone who browses this board. You'll see
>though do make sure you are climbing your prospective mountain not only for her though more importantly for yourself, the state and to let your torch blaze through the blizzard that is life
I'll try. This may be the right chance to get out of this cynical mindset
>and to let your torch blaze through the blizzard that is life
Uh... ok lol
Do you have any album to recommend? I'm in the mood for music

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its your personality there isjnt much you can do, I am trying change how I am, perhaps you can do the same.

i am not usually like that at all. i keep my insecurity to myself, even if it hurts and i never know what i am doing... and i am not usually cruel.
yesterday... i just exploded... i tried to control myself really hard but all these words were coming to my head and i just had to let them out...

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I'd love to be able to cry.
I haven't cried in years.
I try to make myself cry by watching a bunch of sad movies or read sad stories, which would make any sane person cry like a toddler whom just got their ice cream taken from them, but I just don't cry.
I can get the feeling you get before crying, when your throat feels clogged and your chest feels weird, but never any tears.
I hate it.

Generally make sure never to appear in pictures though sometimes it can't be helped, my knowledge of expressions comes from anime reaction images and my knowledge of poses comes from JJBA, there's not a whole lot to go on from those.

I've seen numerous books on literary criticism and in particular specific authors such as Locke and Yeats so I'd assume there is some form of critical analysis on 'Inferno'. Do wish to read about Italy though resources that aren't related to Mussolini are somewhat scarce (that being said Portugal gets the worst treatment in the library, one 200-pg general book - that's it, even the Basque get a couple books to their name).

Found 'Faust' at a charity shop and as you guessed didn't read it, I can read German to a basic level though it'd be agonizing to go through the thing at current level. I play the long game when it comes to things in intentionally delaying things so there is more to enjoy in my middle-ages rather than stagnancy - do not wish for the pitfall that consumes so many. Started downloading Narcissu, will play through it tomorrow. Finished surprisingly early. I feel horrible for laughing at *that* scene due to being immediately reminded of Zero's death. It was good, seems one's emotions need re-invigorating to assume the proper reaction however.

Its hard to tell whether one will succeed or fail though one thing for certain is that the sting will nullify with experience, I can't remember what video it was but there was some analogy on how you can scar a tree but at the end of the day the tree will grow and the scar will take up less of its area over time. Don't know if that does much for you, if it doesn't we're here for you.

As for albums you may have to remind me of what type of content you life as I'm mixing it with OP's preferences. You've recommended great post-hardcore albums before though I don't want to be too rash in riding off that.

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The last two times I cried were 9 years ago after having a mental breakdown and last summer after getting real drunk.

I've never been much of a cryer. I guess I've never been much of an emotional person regardless of what it is. I do remember the last time I cried was back in October on the day I decided to check myself onto the ward. That was my lowest point so I just caved in and let out months of pent up pain.
Haven't cried since then and probably won't for a long time again. I do feel sad quit often though, I just tend to drink or smoke and it helps get rid of that feeling for a bit. Don't really want to make a habit of it don't want to get addicted to the stuff.
It just sucks that I always get bits of depression when I'm trying to fix my life. It honestly feels like life wants me to remain in this state of being happy enough to enjoy stuff but still miserable enough to not be happy with life. It just seems like everywhere I turn I try to open a door and it's locked with something that needs a key that just so happens to be behind another locked door.

>Generally make sure never to appear in pictures though sometimes it can't be helped
Same
>my knowledge of expressions comes from anime reaction images and my knowledge of poses comes from JJBA
Make sure to strike a Jojo pose if they actually put a picture on the wall
>I've seen numerous books on literary criticism and in particular specific authors such as Locke and Yeats
Those should be enough to understand the symbolism, if the book has also proper notes
>resources that aren't related to Mussolini are somewhat scarce
Damn it, why Mussolini of all people had to be this notorious
>that being said Portugal gets the worst treatment in the library, one 200-pg general book
That's harsh, but I guess that most of Portugal's history is strictly related to Spain's
>I can read German to a basic level though it'd be agonizing to go through the thing at current level
Yeah, from what I know about it, it isn't exactly entry-level literature. Didn't expect you to know German. How many languages do you know?
>I play the long game when it comes to things in intentionally delaying things so there is more to enjoy in my middle-ages rather than stagnancy
That's a good plan
>I feel horrible for laughing at *that* scene due to being immediately reminded of Zero's death
I'm missing the reference, who's Zero?
>It was good, seems one's emotions need re-invigorating to assume the proper reaction however
To be honest, I didn't take the final scene too badly as well, but I think that the most emotional scene is the projection one. It conveys quite well the actual message of the story
>there was some analogy on how you can scar a tree but at the end of the day the tree will grow and the scar will take up less of its area over time
I don't know at the moment if it is like that. I'm so confused
>As for albums you may have to remind me of what type of content you life
I like what OP likes, but I like shoegaze and emo in particular

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Hi OP

>How often do you cry
I went a long time without crying and then my depression got worse and I cried every night. Now i dont really feel much of anything anymore

What's everyone having for dinner? I've eaten nothing but blueberry breakfast bars for the past couple days.

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hey comfy guys, we're playing cards against humanity! just wanted to let you guys know, comfystream is up if anyone wanted to chat.
twitch.tv/lilshortcake4chan

first thing I hear is a female voice? femanons dont exist, get that normie shit out

dont judge me my dude

music helps man.
I think about being disopwned by my brotehr or my dad and shit.
or mainly really just my friends and them being sad, I think I cry for them more than I cry for me.

>I cried every night.
crying is nice man I love it, you learn to after long enough
>What's everyone having for dinner?
I eat once every 5 days.

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I don't know German aside from basic stuff though its intertwined to an extent with English - if I were to listen to it or read paragraphs it'd be tricky though prose would be more straight-forward at least in theory. I have that rule of studying 10 mins language at each hour though at the end of the day I don't aim to do more than basic stuff, and hence know very basic things in a lot of languages. I am pretty good at French though due to a-levels, its ironically the language and country I'm least interested in though and haven't touched it for a long time so I haven't a clue how I'd fair. I never really mention language stuff though, its embarrassing.

Zero in Megaman X5, meets a similar fate. The message of the story? I didn't really get much from the scene other than another flash-back (this time to that starry sky scene in Bakemonogatari, the only romantic scene I've ever liked and tfw the lyrics to the ED suddenly make sense).

The cut-off in the middle of it made me panic though, didn't really feel much other than imagining what mc must've felt. The story felt like 'The Road' in the way that you feel the sluggishness of the mc and the restlessness of the landscape.

Its not quite shoegaze, though its as good as I could think of. Used to recommend these in chart-threads on /mu/ before losing interest in that board, suppose eventually it feels like work and you wonder why you're posting - think most were getting sick of charts on there anyhow. youtube.com/watch?v=yvuo4kX9_vI

I used to think music helps, but lately I just want to sit in silence. I want to be alone with my thoughts.

What do you eat every 5 days?

>I want to be alone with my thoughts.
I cant allow myself to be as I just OCD and shit.
>What do you eat every 5 days?
fatty meat and veggies although last time I hust had some sausages.

losing nearly a kilo a day surley

Is there a language that you want to actually learn well? Learning a bit of many could come useful for small things, but learning one well is a skill that you can show off in a resume
>Zero in Megaman X5, meets a similar fate
Never played Megaman desu. I'll have to try one day
>The message of the story?
I sort of interpreted it in an environmentalist way, with the projection showing the beauty of the planet before all the things with war and disasters that brought to the setting of the story happened. B-but maybe I got a bit too immersed h-hehe
>another flash-back (this time to that starry sky scene in Bakemonogatari)
That scene was so good. I wish the series maintained the consistency of Bake
>OGRE YOU ASSHOLE
Was actually planning to listen to them. They sort of remind me of NUMBER GIRL, but cleaner. I will finish listening to it tomorrow so thank you.
Going to sleep now, I wish you a good night

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I used to listen to music specifically to avoid my thoughts but I don't really care anymore. I understand that they're going to keep infecting me until I've lost everything.

Sounds tasty. I think I might make a PBJ for dinner. I rarely eat too.

I want to learn Russian properly and hence browse Dvach a lot, can hold a conversation in Latvian for whatever reason (consider it jealousy as in my former work-place one of the drivers knew Latvian, Lithuanian, Russian and English. Felt inferior ever since). I used to be half-decent at Romanian due to being autistically obsessed with the country at one point, don't know if I still remember much. I saw the message in a similar manner though it seemed to come more from a first-person perspective which when you think of all the films and television shows with those sort of scenes is surprisingly rare. Hope you have a good sleep!

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we're playing one more game, my comfy dudes

twitch.tv/lilshortcake4chan

>I understand that they're going to keep infecting me until I've lost everything.
fuck this 100%

Hey OP, what type of music do you listen to/what are you listening to currently?

why haven't i killed myself yet?
i'm contributing nothing and consuming everything

last time i cried was when was 14 because my dog died. been 12 years since.

>Hey OP, what type of music do you listen to/what are you listening to currently?
The smiths man, always smiths or the band low.
love the smiths.
>why haven't i killed myself yet?
>i'm contributing nothing and consuming everything
life isnt about procuring resources its about love and you need to find it within yourself and maybe womeone else will share that inner love that connects us all together.
>last time i cried was when was 14 because my dog died. been 12 years since.
man, its odd how some people dont cry.
I feel lucky.