>Be me, 26 >Autism, Aspie, abuse victim, prolly gonna end up an Incel. >Lying in bed, staring into my fan as if it was the very abyss itself >Trying to figure out how I got into the situation I'm in. >F l a s h b a c k
>Be me, 4 >Be Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum/Aspergers >The_Beginning_of_the_End.wmv
>Be Me, 5 >Mommy and Daddy always yelling at eachother >Sister, 7, beats me up constantly because I exist. >Simply being in the way means I get pushed against a wall and punched in the stomach a bunch. >Begging her to stop only makes her punch more and punch harder. >Be called a Faggot >Entry_Missing.exe
>Be me, 6 >Mom and Dad don't live with eachother anymore. something about a "Div-orse"? >Entry_Missing.exe >passed between Mom and Dad's houses every week or so. >barely paid attention to. Sister spoiled rotten. >Sister absolutely reviles Dad and new lady despite the nice things they buy for her >Get beat up more often, and harder than ever >MFW I'm my sister's punching bag for the next 10 years
>Be Me, Elementary School as a whole was nice. >Had a couple of really close friends >No Bullies at school >Teachers are nice >Feelsgoodman >All Good Feels die the instant I get on the bus to go home.
>Mom lost custody entirely, meaning I live with father and...That Woman >Refuse to associate That Woman as "Mom" as father keeps telling me to. >Apparently disrespectful to call her by her name rather than Mom. >Sister rebelling super hard, using me to vent her frustrations after hour-long vocal fights with parents. >lock myself in room at all times and blast TV to drown out the fighting. >mfw had door removed because I dared to lock it to keep myself safe from sister
If you somehow manage to succeed in life Your life would make a hell of a motivational movie
Grayson Rodriguez
bumpingino
Jonathan Hughes
>Me Be, Middleschool >Moved to another district, so no more friends or nice teachers >Put into super easy classes with weird kids. >"Weird" might not be the right word. maybe "Freaks" is a better term? >some can't stand or sit right >some refuse to be quiet when teacher talking >I swear one was wearing a loaded diaper >Schoolwork so easy I can sleep in class and still get straight As >WhyamIhere.ogg >Bullied mercilessly by normal kids because I'm "One of Them" >ThefuckIam.wav
>2 Years into Middle School >Sister kicked out of house for destroying her bedroom with every can of White colored paint in garage, Threatening me with a knife when I caught her cutting herself, and Running away from home....can't quite remember in what order. but I know she had to go somewhere for a while after the second one. >No more beatings. >Moved back to old school district >No more Classroom with freaky students >None of my old friends remember me though >one of them became my new bully >feelsbadman.wmv >Begin to notice I act a bit different from other people. >almost feel like I'm thinking "Wrong". like every conclusion and action I come to is objectively the wrong one >Ask Dad about it, as well as the Freak Classroom I was in >Mfw educated on Autism and why I am a failure of a human being.
>Ugh Meh, Highschool >Moved again >Live in tiny townhouse because it's cheaper >Father soon to retire as a cop, has been drinking heavily due to what I can only assume is my fault somehow >Father and That Woman have been pretty much blaming all the universe's problems on me, no matter how petty or inconsequential it was >That Woman openly talks shit about me in public when I'm standing next to her >But I'm 16+. I can drive now! >Fuckyouandthehorseyourodeon.mp3 >Despite getting older, life made more restrictive >no allowance >no getting a job >Go to bed at 7pm >no Friends >no Girls >no Car >if you get below an 85 in anything, no TV or Vidya until next semester >Imnotevenasianwhatthefuckisthis.rar
Christian Perez
Go on user, I'm listening (this is very original)
Evan Morris
>Senior Year >Bullied mercilessly by entirety of student body >Can't carry lunch money lest I get mugged >Can't bring food because they smash it >Lunchroom Hierarchy so fucked I have to stand during lunch >Repeatedly sent to lunch detention because I won't sit, because no one will let me sit. >Extremely Cynical >Truly believe that everything bad is my fault >Consider suicide to make all the bad in the world go away >Realize people suck and deserve bad shit. >mfw push back suicidal thoughts by sheer force of spite >at least I'm not in the tard classrooms, so I guess silver linings?
>Teachers shit >School so mismanaged that the Gymnasium has a carpet and pretty much every one of the fun classes is shut down to fund football team and Standardized Test Prep. >Burn out HARD >Cynicism.exe >Tried making friends to feel less miserable >only got bullied harder because Literally the Milady Image made sure that I was seen as nothing more than something to exclude >FuckitItried.mp3
>Graduate >Didn't even bother going to graduation because fuck those people >Moved to South Carolina >"Oh boy I get to live in a Tourist Trap!" >Move to the middle of bumblefuck nowhere >Roads too narrow to use bicycle. >Still refused to be allowed to learn to drive
And this is the part where everything goes completely to shit. and my life was already shit.
Yes, if only I had not been a fucking mistake, I'd have things like a Social life and a stable mind.
>Be Be, 19 >Suicidal Depressive >I am Autism >Confined to bedroom in attic >Not allowed to leave the house ever because new dogs need to be watched. >Stepmom, That Woman now married to Dad, continues to make sure I know I am completely unwanted, but also unable to leave >Basically the house slave >Cook, clean, basically Bartend for alcoholic parents >no Personal freedoms of any kind >often made to do physical labor, unpaid, because "you live here" >Social Isolation nearly drives me actually insane. >Lucky I have dogs, or else I would have prolly been in a nuthouse >Unable to turn into neckbeard due to lack of sufficient junkfood and lack of PC.
>me me, 20 >Father buys a PC for me for birthday >Not good for gaming, but the thought that counts >Not even a week later >PC un-gifted and made his personal machine instead >Factory Reset, Password lock, the works >mfw I was happy for a week, only to be made to feel even worse >Thanks Dad >At least I have my PS2 and PS3...but haven't gotten a new game for either since before I moved >they buy a new TV, which has severe input lag in games (think over 1 second delay) >Okay fuck you then.
At some point you just start feeding the fire yourself, OP. The circumstances won't change without you stepping away and trying to face the cold by yourself.
Jaxon Ross
>23, Moved to Florida because parents disliked the cold >New house has mother-in-law suite >given the suite because I was clearly going mad being confined to one room for 3 years or so. >time still feels like liquid to me from previous isolation >Weeks, even months pass without me realizing any significant time has passed. >Parents coerce me into some sort of "Life Skills Program" at a college in Tampa, for those with Disabilities >Assume it means they'll teach me things like how to get and keep a job, how to do my own taxes, using public transit, that sort of shit >Sign up, move to apartment for year >Pic Related >didn't learn a damn thing, Roommate was the king of slob >Apartment so dirty that I tried to move no less than 3 times, only to be refused. >Ate fast food every night because I refused to cook anywhere near that shit
>return from Tampa, 24 >It sucked, but at least I gained a bit of confidence and ability to stand up for myself civily >Immediately have confidence and self-sufficiency shattered by being dragged into job at bar Father works at. >Treated so poorly by father that the boss refuses to let us work anywhere near the same shift >Father blames me and forces me to quit. >Apparently I needed to stop being such a shit son and do what I'm told. including giving him my paycheck and tips. >he already takes my Social Disability checks as "Rent"
I wish I knew that earlier. because when you're made to believe that your entire existence is made of incorrect decisions, you cling to whatever fallacy you can to do something "right" for once.
>25, Signed up for college, >realized economy is utterly fucked and getting a job is straight up impossible without at least a Bachelor's Degree in something >Still forcing myself to believe Father has my best interests in mind >Finally allowed to learn to drive, so he doesn't have to drive me to college >Get shitty gas guzzler '02 Jeep that stalls up occasionally due to shitty battery >Still getting screwed by "Rent" agreement. >Got a job at a gym as a janitor, minimum ($8.05/hr) >Out of about $900 I was making per month from Disability and Job, I was keeping about $150 per month. >I had to live off of this money, as I was no longer allowed to eat with Parents or open their fridge. suite had its own, so I needed to stock it >They would regularly raid my fridge in the most blatant hypocrisy I have ever witnessed >They have Pensions and a Job, and I'm fucking starving cos they keep taking my fucking food.
>Frustration on top of Depression nearly makes me fling myself off a bridge. >Stopped self before I could end it all >Fuck you Self-preservation
>got a Psychiatrist with Dad's insurance and the bitch put me on on Adderol on top of the Antidepressant...and put me on WAY too much. >OD'd, but rather than just killing me, I was basically tweeking out >Brain hurt, sensory overload, too many thoughts, tried to drive home from college so I could lie down. >Rear Ended a guy because my twitching leg couldn't stay on the brake at a Red >Everyone Ok, No significant damage. >Fucker sues >Never allowed to live it down >New name is "Fuck Up" >Called this and actively isolated from family >No more driving except to and from college. not even for groceries. >Fuck
>the No-Driving punishment didn't last long, as it became an inconvenience to drive me to the Poor-People Grocery store to buy discount food. >He raised the rent, making me only have $100 a month to live on because I needed to "Pay off the insurance I fucked up" >Had to basically starve self to afford gas >Sold all Vidya except 2DS for food money >had newest pokemon on 2DS thanks to friends at college being bros and doing Secret Santa >Friends are nice. >Only reason I'm able to keep going is because they'd miss me
>Em eb, 26, early January >I start to notice some things >New Truck in the Driveway >New Motorcycle >All the empty bottles of booze >I head to Vocational Rehab to see if there's anything they can do to help >Apparently they have been sending me financial aid, which is what had been paying for my books >There should be leftover money for food and gas >Brain.exe >Head to school Financial Aid office >They say it's not linked to my bank account >They tell me to log in >Not registered to my Email at all >Any of them >That Motherfucker >He Changed my email to his >He funneled my Financial Aid into his pockets >I've basically had upwards of $3000 stolen from me >Consider just how much of my paychecks and Disability he pockets >Consider how much Disability he's stolen from me since I turned 18 >Pissed.mp4 >I lock the account on him so he can't do that shit again.
>Confront Dad >Yells at me for being a fuckup and locking him out of my Financial Aid >Yell at him for stealing money I could have used to eat and buy Gas, and not feel confined to a tiny mini-house nearly all day every day >He disowns me >He tries to fistfight me, but I'm too pissed to even acknowledge him >Kicked out of house >He threatens to put one of the dogs down >I call my uncle and tell him to call the cops on him if one of the dogs is missing.
>Spend next week effectively homeless >Luckily College friend lets me stay on couch as I try to move back to NJ with my Mom
Jayden Gray
Should've confronted them so much sooner, FFS. Your life begins now, OP, don't lose hope.
Gavin Nguyen
keep going OP we re still here
Luke Morales
>moving back to my Mother's was fairly uneventful, aside from being fucking expensive >Dad emptied and froze my bank account, but luckily I had already paid for shipping of my belongings.
>The next 6 months were basically me trying to adjust to being in an environment that wasn't completely toxic >Father and anyone he ever knew is on no-contact >Things seeming to be ok
and then it hits me.
>I basically had my life hard-paused for eight years. I'm 26, and only NOW am I trying to make active steps in bettering my life.
>1.5 year of college, had to start over because credits didn't transfer >making gradual steps in learning how to manage money and pay bills n shit >but.
>I keep reminding myself >I should have been doing this shit years ago. >I feel like an actual retard >Incapable of proper social interaction because still fucked up from isolation and "Wrongthink" >Unable to talk to gril, in fear of fucking up >See people my age with careers, gril, crippling student debt >See news, everything is fucked, and everyone is making it worse
and here I am today, staring into the abyss, realizing that it's not entirely me being Autistic that ruined my life. it's whatever god(s) out there deciding he needed someone to fuck with. and I guess I'm it.
I guess I'm just destined to have the universe shit on me until I die, but Imma keep trying to do something about it, even though I'm fairly sure it's futile.
I should have. it's my biggest regret in my entire life, but with how badly I was brainwashed by them, I would have never questioned it until I did.
fuck, I wish I had a time machine. I'd tell my 6 year old self "When Dad tries to take you to his house, punch him in the nads. he's going to ruin your life if you let him take you away from Mom."
Kevin Anderson
This shit probably fake and gay, but user. You should sue your dad he cannot take your disability funds for himself. Hit him with small claims and take a good 20k out of his hands
pretty much summed up why I didn't. though when I did leave, I DID try to pursue him over the financial Aid he stole, but because the money changed hands too many times, I basically didn't have a case to stand on.
whatever, he's out of my life now, unable to hurt me. I hope he drinks himself to death. same with his shitty wife.
I hope she dies first, so when he croaks, I inherit his shit.
Bentley Smith
Your Dad sounds like he's taking out his shit life on you, just let him go and his ego will starve to death I promise you
