Sell your Soul!

Hypothetically, if the God of Abraham was the real one true God, wouldnt it be better to worship Satan instead? He'd probably promote you to become some badass fallen angel and get to torment Chads and Stacys for all eternity. But if you worship God, you get to spend all eternity sucking him off

honestly? the ability to play every instrument and my voice perfectly.

I could lend it to you with a 5000% interest per day, goyim.
Seriously, if the devil came to me, I would rush to the closest church and pray my life away.
>He'd probably promote you to become some badass fallen angel and get to torment Chads and Stacys
Except that Satan isn't controlling hell.
He is just on probation until the apocalypse and then, he would suffer alongside all the sinners.

if i don't lose my soul and still exist and just like go to hell or something i want alot of my wishes granted
i want a better more interesting life for starters lmao

>Seriously, if the devil came to me, I would rush to the closest church and pray my life away.
devil doesn't have any power unless you give him power....

Your Soul will be taken after your Death. How you spend that time before is up to you.

When I take your soul, you will go to hell

>could sell soul for anything
>sells soul for infinite musical ability
>doesn't include composition in the skill list
>leave no legacy aside from performance recordings
>die
>become satan's first-chair skin flautist

superhuman powers,godlike speed/reflexes and psychic powers

oh and immortality

i'd sell my soul for a guaranteed position as a demon in hell

what if i also want to become demonic lmao?

Give me my waifu desu.

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what would i be doing in hell?

I wish I was born a girl but with the same mind.

Give me the power to be an immortal servant of God that will erase the evil influences of the Earth

fuck why didn't i ask for that

Deals with the devil are so retarded. What could possibly be worth eternal torture? Even if you did think of something do you really trust the guy labeled "the king of liars" to not monkey paw your ass?

You take turns of tortuing and getting tortured.

Also you get raped by all kinds of things including me

Sure if you want to rape women for all eternity

>You have the chance to sell me your soul!
Fuck you, you have the privilege to try to buy my soul. You ain't getting it though.

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From what I take from it you have to be VERY specific with your wish.
It's like the Wish spell in DnD, if you're not extremely specific with your wish your DM will take any and every opportunity to fuck you over.

If I sell you my soul then can you change hell to a nice place to be. like not eternal torture like it was, and definitely not eternal worship like heaven. Just kind of a chill boring underworld?

>You have the chance to sell me your soul!
i see the devil got some training in sales

with how much aggression and repressed sadism i have id be down for that as a consequence
why not?

So what you want?

give money and loyal cute gf

to be more successful in life meet someone who'd be everything i need
less of a failed tranny and more of a good looking one
happiness

is this thread even real

Not gonna sell my soul. Gonna sell roastie's soul i got in middle school. Want three wishes.

I want my dick to cum VERY high calorie sweet vanilla ice cream that causes extreme bloating

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so im going to hell now?
what's it like aside from the torture

i also offer you the soul of my sister

What would be the difference between me having a soul and me not having a soul?
Based as fuck.
This is super easy to apply a monkey's paw twist to.

you wouldn't exist

be very very specific
before proceeding
make sure you don\t lose your soul
say something like what i said
"i want to keep existing
so id fine with going to hell as a consequence instead

immortality
also my peanus weanus of course ;) haha

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Little sister are always welcome here!

Pretty warm and wet, but im always thirsty since there is no water

Like I said, your soul will be taken after your Death

the ability to melt peoples flesh off their bones just by glaring at them

oh she's my older sister

world peace, destruction of greed, and for humanity to just be better off.

can i have some proof you're a demon

show me how powerful you are tell me something about myself

Your a loser

Enough? There isnt anything worthy of mention in your life

what demon are you?
are you a known demon or a lesser known demonic entity

Im goddamn Lucifer

Hahah that was a nice joke

1. I want to have a trillion dollars
2. I want the ability to turn invisible
3. I want futa's to be real.

i already imagine the monkey paw version of it

the mildest (and preferable by some, lol) variant it would be a position of succubus

If I had confirmation on the existence of an abrahamic god (that would overpower satan), I would devote my entire life to serving and worshiping it in piety and modesty with unmoving resolve (basically Imitation Christi), since eternal pleasure in heaven would be way better than 50-60 years of pleasure and then eternal suffering. How stupid would people have to be to sell their soul?
Too bad that's all goatfucker memes- I'd really like an easy way out of permanent existential dread too.

>I'd really like an easy way out of permanent existential dread too.
Have a child.

>He is just on probation until the apocalypse and then, he would suffer alongside all the sinners.
Is he on propabation for being black? Explains his hatred of God.

A soul of equal or greater value.

I can give you an invisible futa with a trillion dollars.

This is extremely ironic, being posted as advice here.

Just uh.. take my soul?

>Tfw anti depressants finally worked and I'm completely apathetic towards everything after 6 months of use

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Just want to be loved for once

obligatory two souls

That's worthless then. Sorry. :(

All these (You)s and not a single one of you idiots could actually answer my question.

To exterminate the Jews

I'm a virtuous pagan, you can have my soul if you want.

Why would Hell be bad? If Satan has no love for God, why in the world would he punish those who defy God's will, in fact why wouldn't he reward them for doing the same thing that he tried to do and have sympathy for them because they too were rejected by their maker?

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Expecting a narcissist to have any empathy.

I want the human race as a whole to work on the advancement of AI and the coming of the singularity

big tiddy goth GF
orgino

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I want infinite power, being able to stop time, materialize things from thought, teleportation, power to look and feel however I want. I also want immortality so that I can live until the universe dies. Also, it's only a deal if I get it the way I've been imagining it. No tricky genie bullshit. Also, you only get my soul after death.

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The power to coerce anyone to do anything I want them to without fail. Then I could convince rich people to give me money, or even alternatively just go get shit I want for free. Can't get in trouble because I'd just convince people I'm doing nothing wrong

So you want to be a politician?

sounds like he wants to be a huge corporation under democracy

You want my soul?

What do you offer?

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more souls more deals

gib all knowledge in the universe pls

>earth dies
>don't know when, could be a million years, a thousand years, or even tomorrow
>stuck all by yourself
>earth blows up
>stuck floating in space
>sun dies out
>stuck in dark void for all eternity

This is not a chance. This will happen. You might live a million years (highly unlikely) but your end result will always be the void and an eternity in the void is much much longer then a million years of living.

Immortality is one of the dumbest things a human can wish for.

Not only does satan not have any power at all except that which God gave him, he literally defied God himself because he hated humans. And he's literally trying to trick as many humans as possible so they can suffer in hell. Why the hell would you think he would or could reward you with anything lmao.

Im already going to hell at that point so wish for cute goth succubi gf who will love me for the rest of eternity and follow me to hell.

Two souls. One of my choice for me and the soul of that guy's girlfriend for a female of my choice. I'm a super good boy, you'll get a lot for my soul at auction.

Tonnes of money in physical form

You would probably zone out for long periods of time. Also, with those millions of years, you could amass enough wealth to build a spaceship with entertainment and shit. It wouldn't even need life support. That's assuming that we wouldn't figure out space travel and terraforming in millions of years.

You think the universe will last forever?

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We don't actually know if that's what's gonna happen, it's just a guess. But if it did, you'd die when the universe does, right? Billions of years of life, then being dead is better than 60 or so more years of life, then dead.

Make my waifu 3D

Well if you die you're not really immortal are you? And you're not really thinking this through at all. You're just hoping for the slight chance that humans will master space travel and colonize other planets or some shit. What if the earth goes into a ice age before that? You'd be suffering in the cold without being able to die.