>be me
>kindergarten
>have trouble playing with the other kids
>"dont worry, you're a very smart boy and that's more important"
>then till 7th grade
>it's all "oh you're much more mature then they are, and that's very important"
>develop the opinion that being an adult is good because responsibility is good
>as time goes on I still avoid the others because I keep getting told I'm more mature
>puberty happens
>more of the same only now I can't avoid wanting to tall to girls
>don't know anyone personally even though we've been in classes together for a decade
>people start going to parties
>and doing drugs
>and dating
>and fucking
>I keep convincing myself that it's for the best I don't hang out with them because I'm mature
>grade 10 rolls around
>mental breakdown
>attempt suicide
>fail
>dropped the act and finally realized I desperately want to be with other people
>can't talk to them, don't know how
>everyone already thinks I hate other people
>crushing loneliness
>senior year, friendless virgin
>finally cave and go online for hookups
>cute girl in town!
>we talk alot for a few days, decide to meet
>that's not a girl
>that's not a teenager
>fat disgusting man takes me against my will
>he gets what he wants and I'm bleeding and crying
>not a virgin anymore
>finally 18
>had 0 fun as a teenager
>then I ran out of time
Why the fuck do people encourage smart kids to be mature and responsible when childhood is the only time you get to let loose, now I'm scraping by and barely socialized, I can't talk to people and I graduated with 50s because I was so fucking depressed. Can this shitty idea finally die? I want to be a kid again and learn how to talk to people, learn how to get into parties, male friends and do drugs and have fun, but I was conned out of it. I have about 3 fond memories and the rest is above. Can I even cope or adapt at this point? I know I'll never get that time back and I'm curious wether or not it's worth going on.
Be me
Also my current situation:
I sleep most of the time, I have managed a job every now and then and right now I'm taking a course for 3 hours a day. My time awake is spent reading or gaming.
I wouldn't be suprised if this thread died with just my own posts, that's about on par with the rest of my life so far.
Refresh refresh refresh, not even one person?
It appears the decision has been made, I'll see if I can work up the courage to do it one of these days.
you but without getting raped by a man, 29 now, going on hasnt been worth it
Why does it have to be this way?
>used to only talk to the staff at primary school because i couldn't talk to other students, they used to think i was mature for my age
>just used to stand in a corner with people who i didnt know well and just listen to their conversations in high school
>walked in circles alone during college, didnt eat, just drank flavoured water by the lockers at the back of the building and slept in the library
>never went to one party
>never kissed a girl
>never held a girls hand
>never went outside
>sleep 13 hours a day
>eat 1 meal every two days
>do nothing with my life
im here i guess
Hello there. Aren't you eager to slave your ass off for money until you die? Because I'm sure not.
I can totally understand why people who have this get violent and dangerous. Whenever I see happy people I automatically hate them
>Can I even cope or adapt at this point?
I don't fucking know user, I too am still trying. Right now I'm looking into Gateway Project released documents to see if there's any chance of escaping the hell dimension and reaching an higher plane. I can post somme nfographics about this if you're interested.
wont be long now theres very little hope left
Of course I am! I don't know what gateway means here though
Fuck it, I'll post them anyway. Might as well bump one of the few good threads.
Oh shit, I have hermetica
>fell for the "too mature for your age" meme
pic related
I don't know what any cartoon stuff is, but ok
Tl; won't read: there's scientifical circumstancial evidence a higher plane exists. Look into Analysis and Assessment of Gateway Project.
i never see happy people because i dont go outside. im only dangerous and violent to myself at the moment.
Hermetic tradition and various important men's takes on the subject
Cases of reported reincarnation always seem to happen within racial boundaries
this may sound dumb, but start lifting. i started a few months ago, its really nice to see yourself getting stronger, plus eventually youll get mired and instead of being creepy girls will see you as "mysterious". girls are fucking children and they dont care who are unless you look good, so why not take the easiest route to looking good? its a long term investment and it fucking sucks but the time is going to pass anyways and is life really that great for you as it is?
Collective consciousness and other shit
I'm flattered you think I have that kind of conviction
Yeah i too love that i hate that i love myself
live strong or die a coward. we all choose
Extended considerations on previous stuff. This is what I'm looking into right now, do with this what you will. Godspeed.
Go back to fit to the others
>women are children
That, I agree with
I've been in a similar situation twice. The first time i managed to catch up to the point where I felt comfortable being around people. It took me 3 years to archive this. Then the second bad thing happened and i was isolated for another 5 years. I don't think i will ever be able to fully recover but i might at least get to the point where i will be able to somewhat enjoy being around others.
What i'm trying to say is as long as you're below the age of 20 it is very much possible, then it becomes exponentially more difficult as you grow older.
You're a dumb namefag but iktf.
I was told how smart and mature I was my whole life. Every other kid experienced life and became more mature than any teacher claimed I was. They also became smarter than me too, I dropped out of hs.
not him but "live strong, die a coward" is literally the solution to any depression related problem. no one can help you but yourself and has little to do with Jow Forums.
Being strong has nothing to do with it, I suppose strength of will dies in some way but my problem will not be solved by being muscular, it won't give me the time back and it won't teach me how to connect with people
I very much enjoy being around others but I can't get them to feel the same...