Do you play chess, Jow Forums ? If not, you should, it's pretty fun.

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Gotten pretty good while playing at my favorite coffe shop. No one will play me now sad desu

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it's even more fun if YOUR a brainlet

i dont think ive played chess since i was like 5

never too late to start playing again

>tfw REEEtard
I understand the rules technically but I am literally unable to make any good moves or win a single game even on lvl1 difficulty. At this point it's only fun to look at other peoples' games.

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>lvl1 difficulty
you really should try playing against other people.
then, you'll actually be able to improve, and you'll be playing against people who are actually at your strength level instead of a gimped computer.

Chess is kind of boring. I use to gamble on games for money, it was the only way I could get people to play me. 8x8 grid and the possible movements mathematically makes the game fit a lot of characteristics that doesn't allow much deviation. I do really like the game, and got a lot of entertainment out of it. I probably lost a fuck ton of money on it though. It's practically a mistake to memorize some fundamental concepts too much if you're any good at any particular strategy until you start losing with it. God damn is it ever a real cunt playing real professional players for money, they will strategize stuff based off point cost and play stuff like pawns and other things of lower value in ascending order. You're better off just trying to do something un-orthodox rather than anything they have memorized for opening moves.

I make games last more than ten to fifteen minutes but never win

I'd try against other people if I could even win a few games. Currently it'd be an extreme embarrassment, even the dumbest cretin would be like "wtf is this nigga doin". Shit I'd just solve all the matches in stockfish

hmm, maybe you could post the notation of one of your games and we could tell you what kind of moves you should be playing or what you're doing wrong.

Okay so honestly the only take away from this I have aside from ranting is, if you learn all the in's and outs get a computer game to do that sort of thing. Pawn and king/rook movements are rather odd ball rules. You can totally play the game without understanding that stuff but you'll probably lose if someone else knows that sort of stuff. It's helpful to play a computer to get those sort of basics down. Never play online unless it's a speed match with a very strict/small time limit. Most online players will try to make moves near the time limit hoping you get bored/don't sign in. Just don't bother with it unless it's got a strict time limit that's very short like half a minute or so otherwise it's like a 5 minute move decision + 24 hours so a game can last a day + 5 minutes per turn and they're just trying to wait you out so they get a technical win by bull shit.
Also computers are amazingly better than most players. If you can beat a computer with a strategy it's going to wreck most players 9/10 times. I had a strategy that would work against players but not computers, but if you can beat a computer you can beat a player way more easily. Players make mistakes, computers just follow their programming and don't.

There's also shogi if you're a weeb, or like regional chess variants. it's a little harder to get into than vanilla chess though.

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I don't play chess because I am a retard. Checkers is too hard for me, and looking at the board makes me feel nauseous.

You don't have to be smart to play chess.

i can't process information that quickly or else i'd play

You could always play a really long time control or correspondence (multiple days per move)

Got into it by playing a friend of mine out of boredom then got to watch agadmator's channel on Youtube

Dude is nice, analyses games on base level, makes you really understand the motives of playing certain moves, it's really amazing

Yea I did I've won some tournaments too. Was the vice president of my chess club in highschool.

In case anybody is interested, lets play a match

Never played it but I'm 100% sure even its concept is primitive af compared to an RTS game such as Wargame, and a proficient RTS player could beat a proficient chess player at both.

the chess meta is just to memorize everything. Chess players are one trick ponies and they would beat any RTS player

Welp, I thought I was pretty good, because I annihilate everyone in my family. Turn out I'm just king of the retards, considering I got my shit kicked in on lichess just now.

You don't need to process anything quickly, There are 64 squares. 32 of them are already taken up by pieces. That leaves 32 free spaces and there are a limited amount of moves that can be made there. It helps if you imagine the movement patterns on the squares in a different color than black and white.
This is the exact opposite of what you should do. Winning and losing doesn't matter, the game is thousands of years old hardly anybody spends days on a single move. Win/loss isn't important just learn the basics and you'll get quicker at making decisions in strategy or tactics.

I love chess threads watching retarded robot games is so fun

I got into it a little when they broadcasted some big tournament on twitch a while ago, and it's cool seeing clips from guys like hikaru/carlsen doing ridiculous things.
I did some of the learn/practice bits on lichess but kinda gave up, it's just way too much to learn to even be able to play at a basic level.
anna a cute tho

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Normal chess, no
but i've been playing a lot of auto chess recently. Orcs are chads

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internet chess is full of people who actually play chess so i can never win a game. maybe you can try that

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Isn't RTS literally just managing bars as they fill up?

What do you guys do in this position lads?
>the virgin f pawn push
>the chad bishop-for-knight exchange

BxN, mostly because i suck at pawn pushes and it weakens white's kingside slightly.

What do you play in response?

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The Chad Scandinavian clearly

c5, but I'm a shitter

>it weakens white's kingside slightly
yes my man, but how to you plan to take advantage?
that's the next level question

Maybe you could let the weakness be as it is, and then work on the queenside, because that's where your knights are. Later in the game you can use the weakness.

block the white pawn by moving 2 spaces forward with my own obviously or just open a path for my bishop, alot of people are rash with their queens in the early game

personally, after he recaptures, i'm pushing my d pawn but i'm an absolute madman

if he takes on d5, i'm recapturing with my shitty knight and i'm about to be all up in his grill in a couple of moves.
if he doesn't capture, i'm taking another step with my d pawn and his shit is NEVER moving off that diagonal and his bishop will forever be a shitter

c5 obvisouly

Does anyone play Mahjong

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I tried it, but never really got into it.

Chess involves too much boring memorization, and too often ends in draws. If you have a chess board you can play Arimaa instead, which is a lot more fun.

What's your least favorite opening ? Mine is when white plays Bc4 on move 2 in the sicilian. Just bores me for some reason.

agadmator simulator

anything other than the same move

chessnetwork simulator

Captures captures

Italian Game or Ruy Lopez?
Queen's Gambit Accepted or Declined?

I prefer iGO/baduk/weiqi

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Takes takes
Good jobs you just defeateds Grandmaster

No. I'm too stupid and I don't like turn based games.

Feel free to pause the video here and find the winning move for white in this position. It's really a nice idea.

I give you couple second

I can't advance beyond the most intermediate strategies. You have to be a genius to be really good.

i probably spent a thousand hours studying it (puzzles, games, strategy). playing online makes me anxious so i practically never do, but i love the game.

>More possible games of chess than atoms in the known universe.

Bro just memorize lol.

90% luck 10% losing limbs to yakuza

>tfw my school placed 3rd in regionals for the first time with me on the team
I may had been bullied by Chad, but at least I made it into history.
no reason to mention that I lost 2 games and tied another 2, it was team effort okay?

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i play sudoku. I'm bad at it though

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Man of real taste, Go is more interesting and you get a real sense of improvement and understanding, I dropped chess for go and I don't regret it, keep playing the wonderful game user.

You got a contact bro? Let's study and play together.

Only mentally slow boomers still play board games, true brainChads moved on to real time chess

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yes, and that's why top level play is based around APM not strategy or understanding :)

i'd be interested in that too (other user). only started playing recently so i'm shit.

that's fine, do you have a discord?

I'm running errands but here's my discord if you gentlemen would like to talk Go:Geist#8011

Geist#8011 in case you can't parse that last ID.

Yeah I play on chess dot com. I'm like 1500 elo at 10 min blitz, so im kinda bad but w/e.

I have no problem with chess itself, but I'm not a fan of the culture surrounding it. It's literally just a game, but people who are really into chess act like chess skills are the ultimate test of intelligence. It's pretty stupid.

>people who are really into chess act like chess skills are the ultimate test of intelligence
i found the opposite, people who play chess know and want you to know that you lost because they're better at the game, not because they're smarter.

it's pretty fun to play in person, but online is just impersonal and soulless

yeah, playing against random people is lame. playing with friends online can be fun though. also, tactics and just following the pro games is fun as well.

e5 because white didn't choose "optimal" d4 or some retarded f3 or h4 and I want to respect that

im too anxious to sit for more than 2 minutes and make a play

8e or knight 6f