thread for mentally ill anons to discuss their current moods/what they're doing today/how they're feeling. if you dislike mentally ill people, (common theme with bpd here), just don't enter - there are other threads for you.
>what mental illness do you have
>what are you feeling right now
>1+ good thing that happened today
>1+ bad thing that happened today
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i will start
>>what mental illness do you have
bpd, eating disorder
>>what are you feeling right now
frustrated
+ good thing that happened today
it's very snowy out
+ bad thing that happened today
choose not to specify
>Meme mental illness
>Alright I guess
>Got a haircut
>Got squicked out earlier
what kinda haircut
>squicked out
never heard that term before
Squicked out means grossed out more or less. Haircut is something like this:
Sorry for the edgy boi picture but it's the first thing that came to mind. Hairline is similar too, but it's brown not dyed.
very cool, i don't see haircuts like that often anymore. im a fan of hair like that + the middle parted hair look
Ha, yeah I've been rocking that hairstyle for a long time. For whatever reason I always liked scraping it back.
>what mental illness do you have
all diagnosed by different doctors. depression, anxiety, adhd, social phobia, panic attacks and ocd
>what are you feeling right now
empty and anxious
>1+ good thing that happened today
nothing
>1+ bad thing that happened today
woke up alive, feeling withdraws for quitting escitalopram and went to wageslave.
My diagnosis is ASPD, but that doctor didn't know what he was talking about.
I'm not sure, depression, bipolar depression, autism? I feel like two different people in one body, the shitty one holds back the better one and the better one is content and lacks drive, he tries to make himself incrementally better but the shitty version of myself undoes it all and I have to start over, it's like I'm in this continuous and random switching of personalities, but one is much stronger than the other.
>>what mental illness do you have
paranoid shizophrenia
>>what are you feeling right now
mildly annoyed/ bored
+ good thing that happened today
playing games
+ bad thing that happened today
dunno being aware of my situation
>what mental illness do you have
idk I guess most people I have talked to told me its probably depression and anxiety stuff but I'm not really diagnosed since I am scared of going to a therapist
>what are you feeling right now
I'm feeling lonely and like I am being left behind by everyone. The few discord servers I was a part of are dying and it feels shit because I dont have anyone else to talk to and they are moving on but I am still stuck the same loser idk it sucks I wish someone loved me
>1+ good thing that happened today
my dad's operation went well and thing will hopefully get better soon
>1+ bad thing that happened today
nothing specific just the same old being a lonely loser thing sucks and its getting to me
>what mental illness do you have
Schizoid with all the co morbid fun stuff, though I think I'm gonna get a second opinion since symptoms are getting worse
>what are you feeling right now
bored/annoyed at life
>1+ good thing that happened today
company contacted me back to fill out a assessment to see if they want to offer an interview
>1+ bad thing that happened today
turned down for a different job
probably not going to do the assessment since it'll end up involving phone calls and I hate those beyond all reason
>what mental illness do you have
borderline
>what are you feeling right now
sad and hopeless
>1+ good thing that happened today
bought drugs
>1+ bad thing that happened today
someone passed a note with a number on it that, the note said "cutie, here's my number"
initially I figured it was a prank and called it out twice, yet she kept insisting for 5 or 10 minutes that someone specifically asked her to give it to me, even hinting at that it was someone I liked
it was a fake number
oops, messed up a sentence there a little but you get the gist of it
>what mental illness do you have
diagnosed crippling hypochondria and general anxiety
>what are you feeling right now
Happy mixed with fear.
>1+ good thing that happened today
I made some delicious new recipe and continue to eat more than usual, which is very good.
>1+ bad thing that happened today
I took checked my pulse and blood pressure about 40 times Today.
do I qualify for the thread if I've been diagnosed with general anxiety and add since middle school? I also think I was depressed as a kid growing up because I always had a strong empty and lonely feeling even when I had friends. That feeling is so memorable and significant that as soon as it returns I recognize it. I'd like to think it's depression but I've had that feeling on and off since grade 1 and into late highschool. It's like an empty and alone feeling, and I don't really feel anything besides it. Nowadays I'm content being alone in my room for long periods of time on my computer. Discord and games just make me feel irritated so I got rid of them a few weeks back. I've only been browsing since 2012 but I at least feel like I'm apart of some community.
>what are you feeling right now
good but because of drugs. On add medication and listening to music to put me in a good mood since the drug enhances it youtube.com
>1 good thing
discovering Deezloader Remix. Prolly gonna play Etrian Odyssey for a while
>1 bad thing
sitting in my room all day again and feeling like a disappointment. at least I'm losing weight
hope you anons will have a good day
>mental illness
depression, apparently ptsd from what my first psychiatrist said. i wouldn't be surprised if there is something else my mom left me in my genes that i don't know or understand.
>what are you feeling right now
dread, unhappy. i don't like being unhappy because i can't figure out why the fuck i'm unhappy, and it makes me more unhappy.
>1+ good thing that happened today
saw some decent threads on r9k for the first time in almost a year, probably will go away after valentines day. brings me back to when i first started browsing. i also woke up at a decent time today. school was closed for snow.
>1- bad thing that happened today.
hasn't happened yet, but i know i will cry come valentines day because i know my friend will never be able to experience the joys of falling in love, even if it's just for a day. instead he gets to watch from six feet under.
Is alcohol addiction a mental illness?
Diagnosed with bipolar 2, bpd and ptsd. I am currently suicidal and have been depressed for months. I anger and push away the person I love the most. I gave up all my friends and I isolate.
no you fuckin knob
*could be a reaction to a mental illness tho
>what mental illness do you have
diagnosed: high-functioning autism
undiagnosed: 4 years of some kind of depression, including 3 years daily suicidal thoughts
some form of anxiety
>what are you feeling right now
bored
>1+ good thing that happened today
my classes were canceled
>1+ bad thing that happened today
I woke up
No need for incivility, now is there?
verywellmind.com
>>what mental illness do you have
Bipolar 1
>>what are you feeling right now
Pretty good honestly.
+ good thing that happened today
Rest day, I go back to the jiu-jitsu dojo tomorrow. And my treatment has been going smoothly
+ bad thing that happened today
Gotta go to my shitty wagie job
I didn't know ADHD was a mental illness. I didn't know I was mentally ill.
tfw no friend to mutually comfort and help overcome things together
We're all alone, no matter who else is there.
>tfw most of your friends are just as miserable as you are, but you rarely discuss it with each other outside of memes
Is this Japanese jujitsu, or Brazillian jiujitsu?
>what mental illness do you have
Aspergers, depression, and OCD
>what are you feeling right now
Happy now that I've had a drink. Was going on a downward spiral for a bit there but either smoking or drinking gets rid of that feeling for now. Kind of afraid with how I'm already using it as a crutch I'll be an alcoholic in no time.
>1+ good thing that happened today
I tried to improve my life by looking at mental illness support groups I could join to hopefully make a friend my own age.
>1+ bad thing that happened today
I found out I'm not fucked up enough to have a mental illness support group to attend.
Oh well I guess getting a job is my only escape now. Just have to wait for it to warm up a bit.
that is very true but at least someone is there. even if it's a massive cope i'll take it over feeling this way
why not initiate opening up first, i'm sure everyone is too scared to do it but would appreciate it immensely.
Life is easier with someone else. Sex. Half the rent. Cooking. The list goes on.
We talked about it once or twice, but never brought it up again (in a serious manner, at least).
We all know and acknowledge how fucked most of our lives are. There isn't really much to talk about imo.
>>what mental illness do you have
Diagnosed schizoid pd as an adult and a meme diagnoses of oppositional defiant disorder by a low iq cunt as a kid
>>what are you feeling right now
Kinda tired and apathetic
+ good thing that happened today
+ bad thing that happened today
Things seem to blend together with very few moments of subtle contrast
All I feel is the soft but constant abrasion that is effort
Makes me wonder why I do anything at all
Drinking tends to make things a bit less tedious
>what mental illness do you have
Just depression, although pretty severe and "difficult to treat" as my doctor says. Also ADHD and agoraphobia
>what are you feeling right now
I stopped taking all my medications last week, despite the physical withdrawal symptoms, I feel so relieved and free mentally
>1+ good thing that happened today
coworker said I looked good
>1+ bad thing that happened today
physical withdrawals are a bitch, but I know it's going to be worth it in the end.
>what mental illness do you have
gender dysphoria
BPD
Generalized anxiety disorder
>what are you feeling right now
drunk. empty.
>1+ good thing that happened today
I drank
>1+ bad thing that happened today
person I was in love with and the only person I talked to finally ghosted me. guess I deserve it though
>Mental illness
Schizotypal personality disorder
>Feeling right now
Tired
>+1 good thing
I got a book i ordered
>-1 bad thing
Had to wait 4h doing nothing
>person I was in love with and the only person I talked to finally ghosted me
what happened? did they not love you back
nope. and I guess I get pretty emotional and that got annoying for me. I don't blame him at all. I'm depressing to talk to.
all that people telling they have aspergers.
I am a doctor and i am sorry to tell you that you are just social awkward idiots.
>what mental illness do you have
None, I'm perfect unlike everyone else
>what are you feeling right now
I'm quite happy, out on a run in the woods atm
>1+ good thing that happened today
Met a human when I was running
>1+ bad thing that happened today
Cops are after me for some reason
I'm just saying what I was diagnosed with. I don't actually believe I have any of that stuff. I think I'm just paranoid personally but I can't figure out what I'm going to self diagnose myself with yet.
Why did you have to wait?
How did they ghost you? Maybe their just busy
>What Mental Illness Do You Have?
Anxiety, Anger Issues, and Autism
>What are you feeling right now?
Feeling okay, Its raining out very cozy right now
> Good Thing
submitted job application, raining out so cozy
>Bad thing
Sperged out while texting a girl, i wish i wasn't retarded
they blocked me from discord and won't respond to any of my texts. when I call them it goes straight to voice mail so I'm assuming I'm blocked.
Did something happen?
Oregoenoaldlaktjylk3jredszi
Well, my diagnosis was enough to disqualify me from military service... if that means anything to you, "doctor".
I asked them out a few weeks ago and he told me he wasn't sure and wanted me to wait. so i waited and reminded him of it today and told him "just being your friend hurts me" he went offline so I took a nap and woke up to him gone.
this kind of sucks.
>what mental illness do you have
Depression
>what are you feeling right now
Like shit, my kind keeps coming up with suicide plans
>1+ good thing that happened today
Nothing
>1+ bad thing that happened today
Everything
I can't help but feel like a failure at everything. I feel useless. I wish I had a boyfriend though.
Had to wait for a bus with an empty battery on my phone
There's better people out there user, hes just some discord faggot. You can find another friend easy
I joined a suicide forum the other day, I've never thought about it more than right now
how would you kys?
I met up with him and everything. he treated me like we were dating and I fell so hard for him..I really hope I can find someone else. I was friendless for a year both online and irl before I met him.
I plan on going out with a hibatchi grill with carbon monoxide poisoning. Burn some charcoal in a small room or your car. It's painless suicide, you might get a slight headache before you pass out in about 10 minutes.
>what mental illness do you have
Snowflake meme PDNOS
>what are you feeling right now
Depressed
>1+ good thing that happened today
Mate called me on the phone
>1+ bad thing that happened today
Realisations
I have so much wrong with me, and spend so much time willing myself to be ok. I'm doing everything right, working hard, but it's only a matter of time before it comes down like a house of cards.
is it SS?
>what mental illness do you have
ADHD, depression, anxiety, insomnia
>what are you feeling right now
Worried about my uni homework that I procrastinated until the last fucking minute again
>1+ good thing that happened today
My computer science professor complimented my python code and I got to sleep before 4 am :)
>1+ bad thing that happened today
I... Can't think of any. It was just another bleak, grey, boring day. I felt like a self-aware unself-aware retard tho. Everything I did felt wrong, but I was powerless to stop it. I could hear what people were thinking, see them avoiding eye contact... Tell their fake laughs from their real ones. I just don't want to be around anyone anymore. It's so exhausting. Everything so exhausting. Is it worth it?
BOO HOO!
My Doctor gave me some antidepressants because I told him I feel bad after a breakup! I'm so mentally ill!
Who are we talking about here then
Illness: OCD and depression and anxiety
Bad thing: Kids not treating me right
Good thing: Headbanged to municipal waste and havok and talked to my new friends
How I'm feeling now: Alright
>schizotypal
>mildly frustrated at having no tenacity when it comes to working on creative projects
>rune factory 5 got announced, knee pain is going away and i can run again
>dropped a boxed desk on my foot
Is it a normal BPD thing to randomly unfriend people all the time for no reason and have dissociative outbreaks?
i don't know, but i do know a guy like that.
he's alright, pleasant to talk to when he isn't dissociatively shitposting. just a broken guy, a few screws loose without the right kind of tools to seat them back properly. i miss talking to him, even if at the time i hated his guts.
Schizophrenic.
The worst part isn't the voices, it's the long term memory problems. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
How bad are the memory problems? Long term amnesia?
makes sense, negative symptoms of mental illness are generally far more debilitating than the positive symptoms despite being more "boring"
Just forgetting peoples names, instructions, numbers, etc.
Sometimes stuff comes back to me in a flash like today I got catatonic at work because I remembered I used to self-harm by smashing my head against walls and concrete.
as a child I mean.
Brazilian
Oregano
Autism
I hate my job and I'm going to stab somebody to death
1 good thing is nobody noticed I was drunk at work
Bad thing was I was at work
For me, yes it is. I regret it after and apologize... not sure I am forgiven tho.
>depression, ocd, anxiety
>tired
>oneitis responded to my message
>psychologist strongly reccomended hospitalization
>what mental illness do you have
depression, anxiety, ptsd, dpd, autism
>what are you feeling right now
sad and alone and anxious
>1+ good thing that happened today
finally got news on new fire emblem and they didn't shove waifus in my face
>1+ bad thing that happened today
finally got news on new fire emblem and they're continuing with muh OC main character
>what mental illness do you have
Autismm Spectrum Disorder
>what are you feeling right now
Sad
>1+ good thing that happened today
I got a diamond sword in Minecraft
>1+ bad thing that happened today,
I realized how lonely I am
>what mental illness do you have
aspd
>what are you feeling right now
content? i dont know, im not really feeling much right now
>1+ good thing that happened today
it rained
>1+ bad thing that happened today
my fucking spotify broke and music is literally the only thing that keeps me going
>what mental illness do you have
Assburgers
>what are you feeling right now
Unmotivated and probably in early stages of depression.Playing vydia, studying, socializing or doing anything else than being laid in bed feels like chore lately
>1+ good thing that happened today
I studied, against all the odds, i studied two lectures today
>1+ bad thing that happened today
Spilled coffee all over my shirt today's morning
I know something is wrong with me. I have depression, but thats just a symptom of something else. Every therapist Ive been to has been a waste of time, what does r9k think is wrong?
>feel unable to connect with most people
>other people just never seem interested in me at all or even want to make friends
>only people who really jiive with me are other broken people online
>fairly narrow interests, really not interested in much besides the usual channer common interests
>despise normies but still really want to find a connection with fucking anyone
>just have no idea what im doing wrong and no matter how much i search I cant find any answers about what to do
sounds like avoidant disorder tbqh
hey, I'm getting a full neuropsychological test evaluation done on me in like a month or so, does any user have experience with going through something like that? why'd you have one done on yourself? ty
>does any user have experience with going through something like that?
yeah, it's long and pretty boring
lots of tests and activities
>why'd you have one done on yourself?
shrink recommended it since she thought I had more than just depression/depression was treatment resistant
>mental illness
Depression with psychotic features
>what you're feeling
Mostly nothing, as usual. A little bit of shame from trying to make a move on a friend yesterday and then emotional pain from the inevitable rejection. Also my head hurts.
>1 good thing that happened
A coworker talked to me as if I were a normal human being
>1 bad thing that happened
I was still kind of drunk when I woke up and went to work in the morning. That sucked.
Do you all just self diagnose?
PunPun is a normalfag ori
Have you ever been to a therapist? They literally just read the DSM.
Wow, that actually hits really close to home. Should I bring that up to a therapist or can i work on it myself
assuming you don't have to pay for it or anything it may be worth checking it out
finding a decent therapist is next to impossible though
Yeah therapists have been shit so far so I dunno, and theyre abhorrently expensive even with my insurance. Ill just google shit, google is almost as good as a therapist these days
>therapists
good goy
>what mental illness do you have
Depression.
>what are you feeling right now
Emptiness and, surprisingly, sleepiness.
>1+ good thing that happened today
I woke up early and am on the way to fixing my sleeping schedule.
>1+ bad thing that happened today
I cut myself again, even though I am trying to stop
Do I have something worse than depression? Im on Zoloft but feel so out of it all the time, my days blur together and I have really vivid dreams due to the SSRIs, I have constant EOCD and dont get enjoyment out of things like eating or video games
>what mental illness do you have
OCD, AvPD
>what are you feeling right now
After 2 redisposals of my room's furniture in the last 6 weeks i think i finally reached the peak functional disposition, so i feel a little more comfortable than usual. Not so happy with my sleep schedule (i should be sleeping rn - 4AM here), but that's everyday shit
>1+ good thing that happened today
That i talked with my bf, i guess
>1+ bad thing that happened today
Same as usual: i wasted 95% of my time and this realization bothers me. No "bad event" happened today tho
You seriously are judging a person you don't know based on 2 lines of text? Get a degree in basic empathy, doctor
That sounds exactly like my depression
>>what mental illness do you have
Depression, anxiety, autism.
>>what are you feeling right now
Like I don't belong on this planet.
+ good thing that happened today
I listened to some nice music
+ bad thing that happened today
I had to be alive.
I, personally, don't believe in suicide as any sort of solution. I have a new job I'm starting and it's already fucking making me lose sleep and draining what little hope for happiness I had left, and I haven't really started the training yet, just finished the orientation. I am trying to see it as a major adversity I need to learn to overcome (I am amazed at how anything that could go wrong continues to go wrong in this situation), but damn does it feel more like a million fucking signs that read "TURN BACK" or "ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU READ IT!? DO NOT PROCEED!" But I have a hell of a time just getting any interviews and this place actually hired me [as seasonal].
I am too scared to not display shy normie programming when I get nervous so therapy is worthless because they just see a normie. They're fucking dumb af box-checkers anyways with no real sense of perception or judgement, so I can't stand them. Maybe I'll just go full REEEEE next time I am able to get in to one, and hope it doesn't get me committed. I don't want any more of their drugs because they permanently fucked my brain worse and even they admit they don't know how tf they work.
tl;dr
Jfdimsa
I've been depressed since my last year of high school. It's been about 4 years now. I got into a uni and dropped out after a year, getting my parrents very mad. Then I went to a uni abroad, which is where I am now. I did foundation from jan 2018 to aug and I'm now on the second semester of the first year. I am failing miserably, I have mostly stopped trying to study. I have nothing to show for the 20 years I have lived so far and when I inevitably drop out I will have to come back home to Russia, because I had to be born with this garbage passport. There are very few qualified therapists back home and depression is often perceived as laziness, nobody takes it seriously. My parents don't seem to understand what it is either; just recently was talking to mom and she told me to get a job and when the first paycheck comes in I won't be depressed anymore. If I have to come back home - it's over for me, anons. The past year I cost my father around 65000 usd and it was a complete waste of time. I doubt I'll ever get a chance like this again, I will have to work minimum wage in a country I despise. I'm planning on hanging myself when I get kicked out of uni, because I refuse to come back home. I'm seeing a therapist, but it doesn't help. I tried suicide hotlines, but those don't do anything for me either. There's no hope or salvation for me, I can't wait to kill myself. This probably doesn't fit here, but I'm sleep deprived and starving; I don't really care. Just wanted to claim my monthly whinepost on 4chin.
>mental illness?
bipolar II, depression
>feeling
empty, unable to focus
>1+ good thing
danced pretty well today, waded into shallow end of programming
>1+ bad thing
got bored of vidya, not sure what my life aspirations are
Which eating disorder?
Social Anxiety
ADHD
OCD
(dunno if you'd consider the last 2 mental illnesses but whatever)
Feeling bored
Played vidya
Saw video of dog being boiled alive (seriously people who enjoy watching that shit deserve a bullet through the skull. dogs are so adorable and innocent)
>mental illness?
Anxiety, depression
>feeling
Like i'm a waste of carbon and don't add anything to the people around me. Like i'm never going to amount to anything in life because i don't have a passion for anything that could be considered a good career path.
>1+ good thing
Watched some anime today
>1+ bad thing
i woke up
>tfw to go to doctor or psychs you have to use the phone because almost no one has online appointment set ups
>literally never use my phone to call people
>haven't answered it in years unless it's an immediate family member