Let's help each other with mental gains
Staring with myself. I go to the gym to keep depression away and for muscle gains but it's not helping me enough. I don't want to get back on meds. My therapist tells me that I should just accept that I'm a shy and skinny guy, that it's fine. But I don't agree and am getting mad at her. It's not what I want to be, I'm not sure it's helpful that she tells me stuff like that... Social anxiety and depression literally almost killing me
Is this about mental health or something more general? Because when I read Mental gains I think about making us brighter. Stuff like playing chess, reading (relevant stuff) or learning to draw (it's very good for a lot of reasons).
I was thinking mental health but the other stuff is also helpful. Maybe it's what I need
user, she says you need to accept yourself as the person you are right now (maybe it is a shy and skinny guy or something else right now), to then understand your starting point and to see more clearly how you can grow towards something that you want to be in the future.
Getting mad at her is very typical egoic behaviour.
Yea thanks. You are probably right. It's just hard for me to accept myself in general...
Don’t listen to her OP, you can be who you want to be.
I used to be shy, anxious around people, depressive tendencies etc etc. what really helped me is when I started doing BJJ with a friend of mine. BJJ forced me to be around other people on an intimate level (literally touching tons of people) and this helped immensely with people anxiety. I also developed better self esteem after learning the martial art and showing myself that I could stand up for myself and that my opinion and viewpoints matter. I think it’s a good environment for men especially because you’re in a place where having male dominate characteristics is actually promoted and welcome and all the people around you, especially the experienced guys, exude that.
It doesn’t have to be Bjj or anything really but I suggest joining a group activity that encourages hard work, dedication, team work and let’s you be manly without sjw shit telling you you’re evil.
Idk seems to me like she’s saying that OP is a shy and anxious guy by nature and that he shouldn’t try to change that because it’s “normal” (it’s not normal to go through life anxious all the time)
For social anxiety, you need to start consciously putting yourself in social situations. With repeated exposure the anxiety will eventually go away. You WILL fail at first, but you have to keep going.
Also, meditation is KEY. You are not your thoughts, they are your enemy. Research the thinking mind vs the observing mind. Your anxiety is in the thinking mind. The best version of yourself lies within the observing one.
That's a really good point. I actually thought about doing boxing bc I'm sure it would do me good. Not bjj bc too touchy but thai boxing for example. But you are lucky to have a friend like that, I don't. I'm already the sportiest person in my circle by going to the gym. Just listening to the advice of a female therapist who is probably shy herself is not always good. I need a more male perspective
The number 1 rule for mental health is to not listen to women
eat more carbs = more serotonin
Yea whenever I do stuff I feel much better. Today I'm just frustrated bc I was to anxious to go to an event alone.
I was on medication for a long time and it only partially helped me. The side effects were annoying and getting off them was a total nightmare. I tried sertaline after that but it made me too sleepy and I believe my sex drive got down
Fuggin this for sure
Come on, generalizing it like this is retarded.
Meditation helped me a lot. For both mental health and increasing mental performance/removing brain fog
Also found out I was gluten intolerant, cutting out that helped with anxiety a lot. Another important thing is posture. Lift your chin up user, lift your chest up too, relax those shoulders and bring them back. Suck those abs in and feels those glutes engaging and I guarantee you'll feel more confident/powerful
Definitely going to look into those things thanks
Man idk why Bjj being touchy would worry you
People have been wrestling for thousands of years, it’s totally natty, feels right and the physical contact does wonders for anxiety
I do agree though, whatever you do you need a place that allows your male characteristics to flourish if that is what’s lacking
In psychology there's a concept called skills, not pills. Medication helps for some people but only in order to get you into a healthier mindstate so that you can learn to adapt effective coping SKILLS and learn to be the person you want to be, which you are well capable of.
Meditate, write down a list of your goals and tangible ways you can achieve them, and start to put them into action. And force yourself out of your comfort zone as often as you can. Failure does not mean losing it means growth.
Unironically replace your therapist with a man. Women don't understand a mentality that prefers hardship and achievement to 'acceptance', because they're fucking women.
Thanks I like the skill concept. Wanted to try meditation for a long time, I just need to finally do it lol. Goal list is also great, my confused brain needs that
This.
And yet, it works out perfectly everytime