>get into e-relationship
>it ruins your life
anyone know this really pathetic feel. what happened and how do you cope
>get into e-relationship
>it ruins your life
anyone know this really pathetic feel. what happened and how do you cope
I got a soc slut pregnant one time
Years of drinking, stopped the consumption of large quantities, then did a micro microdose of shrooms for a year.
Be glad it wasn't an e-relationship with someone with bpd.
>how do you cope
I literally try to forget about it and fail
I don't know that it ruined my life, but I did feel like shit for a long time after it ended. However, it also gave me the confidence I needed to try dating irl and I learned a lot of things about myself that I otherwise would not have learned. In the end, despite how painful it was (4 me) I wouldn't take it back for anything in the world.
Word. I still think about it a lot. But at least now you're prepared for some of the worst extremes of human behavior. Take solace in knowing that any future relationships you experience will almost certainly be a step up from e-dating a BPD bitch.
Yeah, but that would imply me being able to get a relationship with women who don't have bpd, which is something I doubt a lot. The good thing is, besides what you said, now I am able to detect bpd in other people easily, and can avoid them.
I don't know what it is but I feel like people who date a BPD always end up dating another one. It's like when you get stung by a wasp and then all the other wasps come for you.
I'd rather stick my dick in a wasp nest than another BPD girl.
heres why e-dating is bad, coming from someone who was in a 2 year e-"dating" relationship:
everyone can fake who they are online
similar, had someone with antisocial pd
they ruined me, got over it when they cheated and my mind finally accepted they are not who I thought they were
>2 year e-"dating" relationship
what happened, how did it end and how did you manage to keep being in that for 2 years?
Yea now it's over I have no idea how to have a real relationship or even talk to girls
one grentext to go please
How do you go two years without meeting?
I'm several months in and plan on going soon.
>I don't know what it is but I feel like people who date a BPD always end up dating another one
It's true, but I don't think it's because of the reasons you say. I think people with mental illness are attracted to each other, and repel and are repelled by the normies. In these circumstances, they are way more likely to end up with someone with bpd again than with a normie woman.
>I'd rather stick my dick in a wasp nest than another BPD girl
Same except my relationship was long distance so I never actually stuck my dick in anyone. I even had to reject a bpd girl a few months back. It was pretty difficult, but it saved me from a lot of future abuse.
>similar, had someone with antisocial pd
What is that like, user?
She easily gets into relationships (keep in mind this is edating), but can't keep them.
It was my first love so I was blind and fell in love in only a day or two.
Everything was fine for a week or two, then got ghosted and realized she had absolutely no empathy. Ended up with the news that she met someone irl.
I learned from that experience.
>Ended up with the news that she met someone irl.
That's not even bpd that's just online dating in general. The second someone else is able to be with them in person they will choose them over you.
If she had had bpd she would have emotionally abused you and then threatened and blackmailed you when you tried to break up with her.
I don't feel everyone is that way though.
Then again I might be wrong...
she had antisocial p. d. idk
Nah, I used to think the same. Was in an online relationship for like 3 years and we were both crazy in love with each other.
Then we both met someone irl and cheated on each other at the same time. We're still friends.
>in the process of leaving/ trying to leave an abusive e-relationship (god i feel pathetic just typing that)
>no e-friends i can talk about this with for support which makes things even harder
i went in this thinking i wouldn't be affected much by an e-relationship whether it was good or bad and now i'm actually suicidal and losing days' worth of sleep over this.
How does a pretend relationship ruinyour life?
I'm not the same user, but I just wanted to say that you are right. The only honest e-relationship is one where both agree to be together only until they find someone else irl.
I've only ever had sex with girls that I manipulated online beforehand. I have no clue how else to meet people or convince them to have sex with me.
This scares me desu, I'm in a pretty lenghty e-rel now again. Not lenghty at all compared to yours but still. I feel like this just wouldn't happen. Feel...
>in the process of leaving/ trying to leave an abusive e-relationship
Do you see a button like this one your chat window user? Try clicking it.
>get into LDR e-relationship with another boy who says he's 15
>find out later he's 19
>e-date for 4 years
>overall terrible experience
>find out i essentially got catfished at the end
>I've only ever had sex with girls that I manipulated online beforehand
Teach us how to do this, user.
How do you even get e-relationships?
If you can connect with someone online, you could do it IRL too.
>spend all day on pc
>use discord a lot
>hang out on servers
>start talking to female
>continue talking and watching movies and playing games
>looking to meet.mp4
they've manipulated me into relying entirely on them for my happiness/ self esteem and they're the only person i talk to in my life. i talk to them day and night. i know in the end it's entirely on me to leave but i'm just so emotionally weak and vulnerable i don't know how to. i always go back to them when i feel like i really can't go on anymore
>It's true, but I don't think it's because of the reasons you say.
It's because BPDs prey on lonely men who want to give their love to someone.
Yeah, I felt the same way, thought I was better than that.
It's easier if you've never experience irl intimacy before because you won't crave it as hard.
After my first meetup with my e-bf I felt insanely lonely every day after that and when I met another dude willing to fly me out to live with him I took him up on it. A few weeks into living with him I caught my e-bf trying to hook up with traps on /soc/. I was hurt and told him what I had been up to to hurt him back. We had a fight and didn't talk for months.
I forget how we got back in touch, but at that point both of us had completely lost feelings for each other and we mostly used each other for emotional support. He's probably my best friend and we still laugh about this sometimes.
>If you can connect with someone online, you could do it IRL too.
Not really, I'm ugly.
You need to have a lot of time on your hands and you need to know how to pretend to be normal/charming.
You cannot be yourself. You simply can't expect anyone to like you for who you are. That's naive normie shit and not something that's going to work for people like you, like me.
What I do now is troll Okcupid. You just write a generic message and send it to literally everyone you'd want to fuck.
Let's say you message 500 girls. If you're lucky, maybe 50 will reply to you. From that 50, again if you're lucky, maybe 25 will reply again. If you know what to say and how to say it, you might be able to get a phone number from 10 of those girls. Then you just keep whittling it down until you find 1 girl that will send you nudes/ have cam sex with you / maybe fuck you, if she lives close enough to you and you've played your cards right.
It's a numbers game. But beyond the numbers, really it's just about presenting to a person exactly what they want to see. I can't stress enough how important it is to not be yourself in these interactions. It takes a lot of practice. I'm mentally ill, so it's easy for me. Maybe normal people would have a harder time being so deceptive.
I remember feeling like you at one point. I wasted years of my life on some loser neet on the other side of the world who was 30 when I met him at 16.
It will be hard to stop talking to them at first but if you stay in this relationship you will regret it immensely down the line.
Do you not send pictures to your e-gf?
Interesting that you ended up being good friends though haha
See, you're capable of relationships, online/offline doesn't matter, the principles stay the same.
The challenge is how you present yourself, this is easy one the internet but that does not make it impossible irl.
>You need to have a lot of time on your hands
This is the easy part.
>you need to know how to pretend to be normal/charming
This is the difficult part. How do I do it? What kind of attitude do I need to have?
>it's just about presenting to a person exactly what they want to see
How do I figure out what they want to see?
You have to realize your own worth as a person and stop relying on someone else to make you feel worthwhile. It gets easier with time, although it'll never happen unless you take that first step in telling this other person to fuck off.
I honestly just barely go outside.
I got a low self esteem and I doubt my looks, even though my guy friends tell me I don't look as bad as I think I do.
Probably partly due to a past of bullying.
I feel like I couldn't sustain an irl relationship mostly cause I'm really lazy and insecure.
Was it instinctual for you too? I tend to shuffle between a handful of personality types depending on who I'm speaking with. I don't even notice that I'm doing it unless someone spots the difference.
>they've manipulated me into relying entirely on them for my happiness/ self esteem
They manipulated you? It sounds like maybe you were alone and idealized this person at the expense of others in your life. Take responsibility for yourself, you sound like you have BPD.
I'm a boy.
Yeah it's strange, we kind of just pretend the whole dating thing never happened. Honestly after you've dated someone irl internet dating just feels like a larp anyway.
Nah, they're pretty different. You've got a ton of control over how you present yourself online and it's a lot easier to hide your flaws and pretend to be something you're not.
Someone you think is sweet and caring over the internet might just end up being an uncaring abuser who rapes you and gaslights you about it. Trust me, I know.
thanks anons. i know it has to happen, i'm just having an incredibly hard time not having anyone to talk to about this. i met him from here too, and he was kind and caring at first. i'm not sure how to leave since he makes fake suicide attempts on cam which scares me a lot, i wish we could just part ways amicably.
yeah you have lot more control to not present your flaws, that's def true
I'm in an e-relationship with a Filipino girl. She's like 13 hours ahead of me. So I end up staying up all night watching movies with her. Good thing I'm a NEET, but I would like to have a normal sleep schedule one day
I internet dated a girl in Africa (shes white, South Africa) for like six years. I flew over there and she treated me like shit, we only had sex one time and that almost didn't happen either. This was after so years of e-dating. I paid for the flight and my own board when I stayed in Africa for a few weeks. She was too busy doing homework to see me for about half the days I was there and broke up with me two days after I landed home back in the States.
We didn't talk for a year, then we briefly got back together even though she had a local bf. We ended up calling again one night after not talking for so long and that call ended with her begging for me to come back to Africa and be the first man to cum inside her. Over the next few months she ended up breaking up with that boyfriend, then her and I dated for like two months again, then I broke up with her for being mentally unstable and a bad girlfriend, then six weeks later she moved out of her parents house to stay with a guy she had met a few weeks ago. As far as I know they do drugs and go to trance dance raves and festivals and other stuff women like and men hate. The impact she had on my life in the last seven years will stay with me forever, but at least I'm mostly over her now.
I live alone and I don't actually know any girls so I still masturbate to pics and videos of her almost daily.
>fake suicide attempts
Yep, sounds exactly like my guy and he fucked up the way I view relationships forever.
Just go no-contact and as hard as it is you need to ignore him if he threatens suicide.
The sorts of people who threaten suicide after a breakup almost never do it, it's manipulation to get you to take them back.
Worst thing he might do is a suicidal gesture, where he'll do something that seems like a suicide attempt but doesn't actually present much danger. Stuff like overdosing on over-the-counter pills, jumping from a second or third story, or slitting his wrists.
Am I just being dumb for rejecting real relationships to stay e-"dating" someone I will probably never meet?
i am, it took me months but i'm in the process of leaving. although i don't want to do this i think the best option is to just ghost him. also i don't have bpd but he diagnosed himself with it, i don't really think he has it but during his outbursts it sure seems like he does.
You're supposed to say "filipina". "Filipino" means "man from the Philippines", so it would imply you are dating a trap.
>She fuckin' hates me
Have you been in a real relationship before? If you have and you don't crave the intimacy then I don't see a problem with it.
If you haven't, you'll look back on the time you spent e-dating with regret as soon as you experience real intimacy.
whatever. Filipina, who cares. I don't get any nudes so i'm not gonna take the time to learn her gook speak.
>See, you're capable of relationships, online/offline doesn't matter, the principles stay the same.
Of course I'm capable of relationships, but that doesn't mean anything when you don't look good IRL.
Why don't you get nudes? Do you at least sext with her?
you're completely right user and
>Yep, sounds exactly like my guy and he fucked up the way I view relationships forever.
this is such an awful feel. this was my first relationship and just generally my first time opening up to someone so much. and i went in thinking it was impossible for me to actually fall in love but i did. i really can't imagine dating anyone in real life if this e-relationship could affect me like this. i didn't think i was this type of person. how were your relationships after him like? this relationship just solidified even further what i thought before i met him, that it's better to be alone than to be vulnerable and hurt.
>it's better to be alone than to be vulnerable and hurt.
Only for women.
Some girls are serial e-daters so it doesn't really bother them when the "relationship" ends. They just move onto the next one. I don't really know how to get over it other than using tinder.
I have been in a real relationship but I also crave the physical intimacy a lot.
I just like them so much and feel I can open up to them a lot more than anyone I know irl.
Then again I had to push someone off of me just two days ago and I'm wondering if emotional intimacy is really worth it.
no she's all catholic and shit
I developed a lot of coping strategies to deal with his behavior and a lot of them amounted to just doing the sorts of things he did
I ended up bringing these strategies into future relationships which caused a lot of problems.
That's really shitty, although it makes me feel less weird about going to meet my egf who's only a few states away. But damn, how could she do that when you flew to fucking south africa, imo that's either malignant or completely self absorbed to just leave you alone when you came to see her.
Dude, if you're not even sexting with her, how the fuck is that even an e-relationship? It's a e-friendship.
I feel so sorry for you. You are facing all the bad parts of e-relationships, and none of the good ones.
>Girl was 12 and lied about being 14
>confessed about her age
>desperate for gf so I don't care
>ffw I'm 18
>everyone makes fun of me for not having a gf
>kept ldr secrete since she was so young
>decide to get an IRL gf so I ghost ldr girl
>she starts contacting everyone I know on social media asking why I'm not talking to her
>my "friends" at the time decide they are going to fuck her
>she stars obsessing over meeting me and my friends
>she starts texting me strange shit and jokes that only my "friends" would know about
>realise she's doing this thing where she has people log into her texting app and text me while pretending to be her
>they all start calling me a pedo meanwhile trying to fuck her
>quit talking to them all
>the know all the people I interact with so they destroy my social circle so not even an acquaintance is left
>spread rumor about me being a pedo
>get a message from someone years later that they fucked her and so did everyone else and get made fun of for missing out on her poon
Now I'm a friendless loser with a shit job who has never had a gf and everyone who so much as knew of me from high school thinks I'm a pedo.
Don't get into ldr they'll ruin your life guys.
Seriously. This wasn't a relationship; this was an orbiting. What a fag.
>This is the difficult part. How do I do it? What kind of attitude do I need to have?
You need to be interesting, even if everything you're saying is a lie. I have had the most success taking on a very dominant and carefree persona. I also give them the impression that I'm reasonably well-educated and successful. Obviously you don't want to go over the top with your lies, but if you're interacting with girls who are 18-21, they won't have enough real world experience to really tell the difference anyway.
It's also important to invest a lot of time into a girl, especially if all you want to do is fuck her. There have been some times where I've met a girl online and then fucked her within 48 hours, but there have also been some instances where I've had to string her along for years just to get her to agree to meet.
Women are attracted to experiences. You need to give them the impression that knowing you and maybe someday sleeping with you will be a special experience for them, you need to make them think you've had lots of interesting experiences. Confidence is key too, even though that sounds cliche. And another cliche that is definitely true, women do enjoy being treated poorly. If you fawn over a girl, she's going to lose interest right away. She gets that sort of attention from everyone, so you have to be the one who doesn't give it to her. If you have any specific questions for me or want some more help, just let me know. I'll see what I can do for you.
Everyone, even healthy normal people, rotate between various personas depending on the situation they're in. I'm not talking about being quiet and introverted with some people versus being goofy and outgoing with others. I'm talking about becoming a completely different person with a fake name and backstory and everything. I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and Asperger's, so maybe that's why I'm comfortable being so fake and dishonest all the time. But, yes, it's instinctual.
You can't even get nudes from a Pinay? They're a dime a dozen and pretty much all of them can be talked into sexting. You suck.
>not asking for vids of ur egf
never gunna make it bros
I forgot to add that about five years in, before I went to Africa and had met her irl yet, she actually visited the USA and stayed with another guy she met online and dated him for like a month. She went back home to Africa without visiting me too. And I had to pay her rent partially on her vacation to my country because the guy she was living with ended up stealing a bunch from her, as well as her probably secretly spending my money on cocaine and shit.
I think that's the worst I've ever been hurt in my life. E-dating someone for that long and having her visit my country to stay with another guy that ended up raping, threatening, abusing her and stealing from her and then she flew back to Africa without seeing me.
I had to pick up the pieces of her shattered psyche after that too. I had to listen to her bitch about her trauma and abuse and emotional problems for months, YEARS, after that. It all had to fall on my ears that some Chad who never cared about her raped her repeatedly because she chose him over me.
I bet you still fantasize about getting to be that first guy to shoot a load inside of her.
Happened to me just a few months ago. Relationship only lasted a couple months, but even two months later that shit is sticking with me hard.
>hit it off really well with a girl in a discord server we share together back in august 2018
>same taste in music, same taste in porn, bunch of other stuff that clicks really well
>generally enjoy each other's company
>she lives in germany, i live in the us, doesn't matter much cause we're both halfways towards being neets anyway
>about a week or so later she starts to display some daddy issues
>culminates in her saying some worrying stuff vaguely referencing suicide and/or self-harm
>talk her through an episode and talk her out of self-harm, saying how i saved her life
>admit our feelings a little bit later, but decide we want more time before dating
>a month passes, she still doesn't want to date but we still act like a couple, text every morning, talk about feelings and the future
>things go great until november
>she disappears for two weeks, turns out she deleted her discord account
>full-on panic mode, don't want to lose her, she may have offed herself
>search the internet for social media, can't find shit
>find old skype accounts, at this point pretty much stalking her to find out what happened
>feel absolutely miserable until december when she comes back around christmas
>says she's not interested in continuing, how i won't be her boyfriend but she still wants to stay friends
>staying friends after all the shit she said to me
>promised i'd never be lonely again, how i'm her perfect match, she just threw all that shit away
>said she deleted her discord to get away from drama she was involved in and that her feelings were from a dark time in her life
>now that her situation improved she isn't falling in love desperately and so quickly, just wants to figure herself out and focus on studying
>take her word for it and try to be as understanding as possible
Continuing in next post
That sounds so nice, all I really wanted was to do stupid internet things together, but she didn't even like me enough to do that for some reason. Fuck everything. :(
And one more thing, after I landed back in the USA and she dumped me, some guy at a party anally raped her like a week and a half later.
The thing is, neither of the men who abused her were ever reported, prosecuted, or punished for what they did. Some random guy literally took a woman I sunk most of a decade and thousands of dollars into and fucked her in a way I never will.
As a matter, I seriously have a very hard time digesting stuff like this. It seems more rewarding to just take pussy than try to get it normally. They won and I lost.
Yesterday some cuck made a thread about my gf, he thought she was into him and stuff and that he had chances or something, but she said she found a bf(me) and I saw the thread, he got kind of mad and posted screenshots sperguing out about how women cant be robots, like imagine lol fucking incel. I was with her while we were reading the thread and talking about it lmfao. Pathetic cuck.
Why do you believe what she tells you? She's obviously manipulative and deceitful.
I'm posting sporadically because I'm at work.
I told her in I think the last fight we ever had that I should have just repeatedly raped her in Africa. I could have, many times. Nothing bad would have happened to me. I could have done whatever I wanted to her in the apartment I was renting. I could have raped her in the ass, came inside her, made her suck my dick (she never did, I'll never experience the feeling of my dick in her mouth.)
I could have done all of that and I didn't, when she told me no I stopped. Even when she slept in the same bed with me I didn't make a move when she said stop. Even when we showered together.
And someone can just come along and take that pleasure from her. It's going to mess with me forever. If I ever rape someone, this is why. It's the lesson life has taught me.
>calls someone else a pathetic cuck
>laughs with his gf about her talking to other guys and making them think she likes them
I understand personally it's hard to do this when you're that invested in a girl, but I would have been out of there the moment she pulled coming to US and bit seeing you while also fucking another guy. She must have really had a spell on you. I don't understand how people like that exist and don't see what kind of scumfucks they are. She either didn't care about you or was entirely self absorbed. I am mad on your behalf.
She's nice to everyone, the guy thought only cuz she was nice and stuff, she was into him, just some incel mentality, just because a woman is nice to you doesn't mean she wants to suck your cock, when will they even learn?
Why are you even here norman? Please go back to whatever site you came from.
This been my place for more that 5 years sorry user, it's comfy place and I'm staying, not a normalfag though see ya
I couldn't think logically and rationally. I had really loved this woman. I can't really even defend the decisions I made at the time.
All I can say is, if she was a good and decent person the love I gave her would be priceless. It's what a good man should do. I was patient, loving, trusting and supportive for years. I was lied to and used sure, but the folly is on her end, not mine. I won't apologize for being the best man I could be. Plus, I can't summarize seven years of history in Jow Forums posts. Obviously there was at least some point where she was good to me.
my view on relationships is that we inevitably project all these qualities onto the other person, and then can't handle the gradual awareness that they are in fact nothing like what we wanted/thought.
i have to assume that when i fall in love with someone, i'm basically falling in love with the feeling that person gives me, but so far that "good feeling" has never lasted very long.
all of these horrible e-stories tell me that it's even easier to project your own desires onto someone when all you have to go by is a verbal exchange (i.e., you never get the chance to see how fucked up and contradictory they might behave irl). not to mention, girls (and us too) often choose to utter a particular sequence of words not because it's true, but because part of us knows it will achieve some desired outcome. this dude does so completely intentionally because he knows what he wants and how to get it (a little jealous desu), but most women do so without having any idea, it's just something they've been doing all their lives.
tldr; our own neediness is our downfall & most women don't actually believe in 99% of the things they say
As exaggerated and ridiculous as that sounds, I unironically had a woman tell me the same thing after she went into the devaluation phase of her BPD and I wasn't the most awesome guy she ever met anymore.
>Women are attracted to experiences. You need to give them the impression that knowing you and maybe someday sleeping with you will be a special experience for them, you need to make them think you've had lots of interesting experiences.
Here's the problem - unless you have millions of dollars at your disposal, you run out of experiences in at most a few years of your young adult life. If you have millions, then it's a decade or so.
In other words, it's impossible to actually provide this to a woman, and it's ridiculous to have to pretend you can, why would you even want a relationship built on this idiotic illusion?
What did she tell you? I mean some girls are just nice to everyone
>why would you even want a relationship built on this idiotic illusion?
Who said anything about a relationship?
And who wants a relationship in the first place?
If you want a relationship, just lower your standards. There are Jow Forums-tier girls all over the place desperate to give any guy whatever they want, but they're fucking disgusting.
Why would you want a relationship based on something as superficial as how attractive the girl is?
Of course I fucking do. She's a 10/10. If I didn't at least have sex with her that one time I'd have probably killed myself. That one thing is all I got for going to Africa and it does a collosal amount for my mind when trying to get over things.
I'll always be able to say I fucked her. Nobody can take that away from me. Regardless of how much it took for me to get there. Regardless of any other factors or circumstances, at least I fucked her. If I flew there and back without having done that I gaurentee you I would have snapped and done something horrible to myself and others.
>Why would you want a relationship based on something as superficial as how attractive the girl is?
Who ever said that? I want a relationship based on love just like pretty much every guy here, where two people combine their efforts to build something greater than themselves.
>she meets a girl in our server after she comes back
>lo and behold they get a crush on each other within the span of a few days, basically third wheel me
>on new year's i decide to cut her off until i move on, can clearly see where she's headed with this girl
>all goes well until about a month ago
>turns out her crush is poly and has a crush on me, since i stayed friends with her
>my girl's crush turns out to be more unstable than my girl was, has schizophrenia, severe depression, gender dysphoria
>girl gets mad as fuck at her
>decide to add her and try to fix the situation
>try to offer advice, tell her to not get into a relationship if these kinds of disagreements are coming up this early
>accuses me of manipulating her, saying i just want payback
>says i'm dead to her, deletes her crush as well
>a week later they get back together and start dating, been going slow for a few weeks now
>tfw it's valentine's day and today was the day my ex and i wanted to use video chat for the first time
>tfw it's valentine's day and she threw me away like i meant nothing to her, even after literally saving her life
>tfw it's valentine's day and i'm alone, despite her promise to always be by my side
Like I said, there are ugly/fat/whatever girls out there desperate to give and receive love. Just lower your standards and you can have that. But that's not what you want, obviously. Otherwise you'd already have it.
>Like I said, there are ugly/fat/whatever girls out there desperate to give and receive love.
Not really, more like desperate to receive Chad dick. If you know any, I'll gladly take their number.
So a bunch of actual pedos are going around calling you a pedo.... oh that's fucking straight bs of them.
You wouldn't even know what to do if you had their number. Sad.
The state I'm at is that I've had tons of e-relationships but no real relationships. The e-relationships were pretty long term and made deep impressions on me, but I don't feel like I can talk about them to anyone because they're just online and it sounds weird.