Alright, I've had it. I know there's plenty of ditzy, borderline retarded twinks on this board, always posting inane garbage, often in the form of a scenario that may or may not have actually happened, while avatarfagging as anime girls.
It's time one of you made yourselves useful. I need a boiwhore asap. I need a thin dipshit cute with a pink hole for me to fill with all of the steaming hot, potent, fertile load that is brewing in my heavy balls. My body is at that point where it is ready to make babies, and not only do I not want babies but I also don't want to be anywhere near the female menace more than need be.
Just let me slam a bunch of spunk into you. I know there's some sluts around here who would love it. You'll have trouble walking for a while when I'm done with you and if we're not careful your jaw may become unhinged when I'm fucking your throat. I'm going to need to put a plug up your butt before any of my cum can leak out and leave it in there like that until it all gets absorbed into your guts. I know you can't get pregnant but the visual cues will help satisfy me. You're going to be absolutely reeking of my cum everywhere you go. People will turn their heads wondering why it smells like a high school football team locker room every time you enter a room, you'll just have to get used to that. There will be times when I will make you run out to the corner store to fetch me a powerade or a 6pack while I'm recovering from powerwashing your insides and face, and I won't allow you time to clean up before hand so you'll be wearing my nut in your hair at the store.
I'll make it worth your while of course, by purchasing several miniskirts, thongs, toys, makeup kits, whatever the fuck it is you faggots like. You can make an amazon wishlist and I'll buy it all for you. But this will be a several month long process. You'll spend your time by my side ready to get impaled and filled at a moments notice.
As soon as a fresh cycle of semen begins forming in my heaving ballsack, it will be time to immediately drain. I'm not a NEET after all, the whole reason behind this is so that I can maintain full productivity and avoid being demoted from my current work position as a result of the constant nag of being backed up and ready to procreate. So consider this a job of your own, to help me keep mine.
You won't be a prisoner by any means, but you can't just up and leave. You will be free to contact any friends and family and let them know what you're doing if you choose to, its up to you how you navigate that. If you leave before I am back to baseline cum load status however, you will forfeit the final compensation that you will receive in addition to your free living space. I must admit that your diet will mostly subsist of my sperm though. It will be important to keep your boihole free of waste, so you will be limited to very light snacks. If you are already thin, this probably won't be a huge issue for you. You'd be surprised how much sustenance my cum will provide for you as it is, even when its absorbed through your anus.
Applications are now open. It is possible that I will hire 2 sissies whores so that a shift schedule can be maintained, and prolapse of your boiholes can be avoided. I can't stress enough how much of my cock and load you will constantly have inside of you, so you may want to prep for that. Should you be selected, we will start at the beginning of March.
It should be noted that I do treat this task of unburdening myself as a very serious one of high importance. It is not a laughing matter or a joke. My cortisol levels have spiked lately as a result of being so backed up, so I would not recommend goofing around while on the job because I might feel the urge to discipline you harshly. Part of the contract will involve you acknowledging this and taking full responsibility should you drive me to lash out. I would prefer we just keep things going smoothly until this period has run its course, but your behavior will be the ultimate deciding factor in this. I am a rather burly guy who has been lifting for several years now, so it would be in a sissy's best interests not to poke the bear, so to speak.
Also, full disclosure: I am not the type of guy who eats a lot of fruit. My diet consists of mainly red meat and alcohol. These loads will be equal parts hot and steamy, smelly, and likely unpleasant in taste. Perhaps there is a cum connoisseur among you who can appreciate the notes of a brew like this, but otherwise this will be another thing to prepare yourself for, because I am certainly not going to be altering my diet.
And now that I'm thinking about it, it is only fair that should you be particularly skilled in aiding the emptying of my balls via experienced cocksucking or riding, or even if I just notice that you are putting in the extra effort, that will be grounds for a bonus.
Other miscellaneous details: there will be some occasional times where it will be most beneficial that you simply stay on my lap with my cock inside you for extended periods of time, without me pulling out. This would include any days that I have for one reason or another carried out more cardiovascular work than usual, as well as every evening after workouts. This is because my blood will be circulating more heavily and because I will have a spike in testosterone, which always means that I require getting loads off back to back. If you just stay lightly riding but without going so hard that it begins to hurt, my cock, this will be an ideal way to milk the cum from my balls successive times.
Have you tried Grindr or your local LGBT convention? I bet there are some cute twinks there.
Unfortunately my local grindr seems to be exclusively truckers and old men. Besides, if I'm gonna have to fuck someone silly for a moderate length of time. I'd rather it be a fellow robot who I won't despise being around instead of a normalfag. I know there's some airhead twinks around here, maybe they'll be out in the evening.
kek you sound like a tool user but i can relate plus you made kek a whole bunch so hope you get what youre looking for btw nice to see a fellow /lift/er whats your max i just hit 2 plates and bar consistently after 6 months and alotta protein
While I'm quite serious about my predicament, I'm glad you were entertained. I've never managed to get above 2 plate bench myself but I'm pretty satisfied with that, I lift mostly for strength rather than for looks.
Also not to continue being a tool, but say Jow Forumsizen next time my friend. It just feels more right.than /lift/er
>I lift mostly for strength rather than for looks. same i only train my midriff for aestheticism plus i heard going more than that really fucks up your body so im also quite content with being there >but say Jow Forumsizen next time my friend this gave me a hearty kek user never heard before but its pretty catchy
btw not to pry or anything but i assume youre in a very rural area since youve only got trucker homos yes?
Well I gotta say you should definitely still be working your legs, even if not as often as what you normally hit you still gotta at least be doing some leg press on the machine if you don't want to do squats. Not even for looks but just because it can actually wear on your bone structure to be unnaturally top heavy, plus its just a healthy thing to do. You don't gotta go crazy, but its just not a good idea to only hit one part of your body and thats it.
And yes I am indeed in the Kansas City area. Also
Sounds like a loser. No reason to get fucked by you, mate.
You will notice I'm not asking for charity work here, this will be a (short term) full time contractual employment
Never used discord and never will goodbuddy, but thanks for playing!
>you should definitely still be working your legs oh ofc i never skip leg day, ppl who only work out top are just the newbies that have the fantasy of being chad and end up quitting when they dont see immediate results >indeed in the Kansas City area called it >No homo based trap fucking no homo poster
it was nice chatting Jow Forumsbro, real men like us are gonna make it and get the prime cut most cock-hungry loyal passable sissies, no homo ofc
>real men like us are gonna make it and get the prime cut most cock-hungry loyal passable sissies, no homo ofc
FINALLY, someone who GETS IT. Wish me luck in my quest for testicle drainage and should the day come where you're in a similar situation, I'll be rootin for you too
>someone who GETS IT told you i could relate >Wish me luck in my quest for testicle drainage may whatever shitty creator of this universe bless you with the sweetest boipucci imaginable >I'll be rootin for you too thx bro
I saved it from a website called Jow Forums.org Take a copy for yourself, its all yours my friend!
Well that's an awfully rude judgement to make so hastily, considering I've given you no reason to think that about me.
hey op, im interested. where ru?
>Alright, I've had it. I know there's plenty of ditzy, borderline retarded twinks on this board, always posting inane garbage, often in the form of a scenario that may or may not have actually happened, while avatarfagging as anime girls.
RedditChecker indicator is off the charts!!
I'm here and ready to do some basic evaluations. Tell me your physical stats and why you think you're a good candidate for the job.
probably not in the physical condition you're looking for desu, im not petite and not thin but goddamn i got hard asfuck even halfway thru reading that. not sure about full time commitment like youve which is probably a dealer breaker but im down for going down part time
Are you at least thin? I would be willing to pay for a hair removal procedure. The fact that your posting more of that zoomer discord bullshit is rather disappointing though.
Sweet Astolfo, a shimmering ray of golden beauty in a cruel world. Although I must say I prefer Ferri-chan as best girl
Eh yeah sorry buddy, sounds like you're relatively masculine which just won't do for me. I'm sure you'll find a cock or two to service someday though, just keep lookin
Uh can I second this, or do I have to write my own desperate spiel?
I thought I was on Jow Forums at first, and I was wondering what this had to do with guns.
>You're going to be absolutely reeking of my cum everywhere you go. People will turn their heads wondering why it smells like a high school football team locker room every time you enter a room, you'll just have to get used to that. There will be times when I will make you run out to the corner store to fetch me a powerade or a 6pack while I'm recovering from powerwashing your insides and face, and I won't allow you time to clean up before hand so you'll be wearing my nut in your hair at the store.
Nice dubs, but I don't know what you find to be so funny about a man in his time of need.
Your loss frankly, but for the record I usually don't have sex on my mind at all, as I said its only recently, feels like a male biological clock but I think its a phase that will pass once I just get all this damn semen unloaded into a cute and warm flesh cave
You have lost me as well
Just trying to be realistic. Also, I'm straight. There is nothing gay about topping a femboi
>Your loss frankly, but for the record I usually don't have sex on my mind at all, as I said its only recently, feels like a male biological clock but I think its a phase that will pass once I just get all this damn semen unloaded into a cute and warm flesh cave I feel like I came across harsher than I intended because, like I said in , I thought I was on Jow Forums when I opened this thread, and I was irritated that people would be thirstposting on the weapons board. Just jerk off and you'll feel better, user. Sex is overrated. I'm sorry for being so rude as well.
I mean sex is overrated for sure but this is a carnal, primitive hunger that isn't able to be satisfied by jacking off. Normally I would fully agree with you but this is really something different. Like my nuts really want to breed something, even though my brain doesn't.