You wake up on the first day of school 9th Grade with your current memory

Well man, I wish I could say that i'd go all Gandhi and "B tha change I wan 2 c in da wurld!" by being nice to everybody. But the truth is, i'd be a real bastard. I hated everyone. It's only now after years of dissociating that I realize that. I would make it my personal mission to destroy the lives of every last one of those lecherous worms. I wouldn't kill them of course, I would psychologically torture every last one of them with the cynical knowledge I now have of what they became in the future. I would manipulate and drive a wedge into their perfect world and make them doubt themselves. Then they could see what it was like. They can see what it is to know pain.

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>talk to my dad and tell him I want to get big, lift with him everyday after school
>try to eat healthy 5 days a week
>try out for the high school baseball team/play dixie ball
>become involved in deca/fbla all that nonsense
>focus in all of my classes, instead of trying to be a druggie/class clown
basically my focus would be on getting into harvard undergrad, staying in shape, avoiding drugs

>stop trying to be a normie
>be a productive person from day 1 going for the career I want to
>get laid
>kill myself due to being surrounded by immature kids all day

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>those girls
>9th grade
no

Nothing because I was home schooled.

getgf somehow

no financial decisions allowed. not to mention you'd be constrained to a ninth grade budget

OP=zoomie
If he wasn't he'd know by going back to 9th grade we could just literally just JUST mine 5000 BTC at the right time.
In addition to choosing the right college and major but just for personal satisfaction.

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not easy to cash out, at any rate who would want to be a btc neet?

Make an everloving fuckload of money in the early/mid-1990s dotcom bubble.

Bang the shit out of waaaay more underage high school girls before that becomes illegal.

Stock up on LSD before what's-his-name gets arrested and the supply crashes.

Being ridiculously filthy rich at age 18, buy multinational citizenship in all the countries that haven't yet shut those programs down due to abuse by wealthy chinese people.

Find the girl I dated from 2012-2016 and try to unfuck her childhood from behind the scenes to see if she turns out differently. If not, groom her to be my online qt3.14 GF to try to prevent some of the weirder IRL shit that happened to her.

Spend the rest of my free time collecting STEM degrees and otherwise advancing the pace of technological development.

Retire to Mars by 2020.

I decide to actually pull it off instead of fantasizing about it like a beta.

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They look about the right age for 9th grade.

I'm doing pretty well without this scenario now. Only things I'd change is that I'd go to school earlier and for the job I'm currently doing and I'd start eating right and exercising that day so I didn't wind up as fat as I was by 10th grade. Otherwise I'd probably ask a couple girls out that I never did and try to be a bit more social.

>not easy to cash out
plenty of opportunities to cash out 5-10% ergo half a mil gradually hell we can waste half of the BTCS in scams and whatnot
>at any rate who would want to be a btc neet?
literally everyone, and with the ca$h u can fund or invest in anything

Join track and field to get Jow Forums, but other than that nothing my solitude was/is so precious to me that I wouldn't want to interact with too many people.

nah man im chasing other things man. i dont want to be skinnyfat betabitcoinbux

kill myself before I'm too much of a pussy to do it.

>nah man im chasing other things man. i dont want to be skinnyfat betabitcoinbux
so u hate money is that it you think by artificially depriving yourself of it your life is gonna be more challenging ad meaningful well you were born at a bad time for that

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You wouldn't have to be an out of shape pushover. The entire point is that you would make enough to do anything you wanted

>an hero
>school
You'd better do the good deed and take some of the normal kids with you

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Spend more time with my dog before his condition starts deteriorating, start lifting sooner, start music production sooner, start working on appearance/clothes sooner. Basically just try to update to the current day.

no bozo i want to do something that commands respect

>if things aren't going to change in this reality, stock market and lottery obviously, but I assume things will be different this time around
>do what I'm doing now, begin weight-training and healthy eating asap
>learn how to make homebrewed beer or liquor, give it to other kids to taste-test, then begin selling it en masse
>start getting into other business bullshit, anything to make money
>become better friends with the person who would become the one friend I maintain throughout my life
>actually have sex with my first girlfriend instead of letting her pussy out on me every time
>dump her ass because she becomes gay later on anyway
>become a teenage gang boss through my business bullshit, host weekly ragers at a house I buy, fuck girls on the regular
>at the same time, don't be afraid to indulge in my nerdy hobbies without feeling bad about being a nerd, feel free to be autistic with TRPG bullshit, creative writing, drawing, worldbuilding, game-making, forum roleplaying, and actually developing that art into something impressive
>drop out of school the moment I can and focus on making money until I can live relatively well while indulging in creative hobbies
>while all this is going on, get to therapy right away and, over the years, allow my mental health to improve significantly
>get into my early twenties healthy, happy, achieving things, and so many pretty girls on my contact list I forget when I even fucked half of them

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Kill my moms boyfriend with one of the kitchen knives then plead self defense

More like college seniors.

Learn how to fucking dress, cut my hair, eat better and work out while I still can, do my fucking home work, ask every girl out that I wanted to when I was younger. Just do the same shit just better.

Buy bitcoins for chump change, buy Amazon stock. Wait.

Don't buy an Xbox 360 and Halo 3

id definitely use the opportunity to get laid from all the missed chances i was too dumb to pick up on. and then i would commit suicide, because i know what the future holds and i know it would be easier on my family if i do it young

i'd probably take my budgies and sneak out after setting my house on fire in the middle of the night because i'd realize my parents are fucking insane.
instead of sperging out i would actually know how to talk to the few girls who were into me.
i would become an early disciple of brazilian jiu jitsu and become known for beating the fuck out of bullies.
>needs to mention muh finance
retard, everyone here knows to just mine or buy fucktons of BTC when the time comes, or even normalfag-tier shit like GOOG

Money commands tons of respect. I bet you I could cock slap your mom with a wad of $100 and she'd smile and invite me to dinner.

>weirder IRL shit
like what

meant forEither that or the current girls are turning into cows.

>stop watching porn
>get away from my middle school friends and find the guys that will actually be my friends in adulthood
>accept that girl's advances
>start reading PUA material now instead of 2 years later it helped me with a lot of my insecurities

ACTUALLY DO THE FUCKING WORK. Stay after school to get tutored in Algebra. That's about it. I'm content with the rest of how my high school freshman year went.

I think about this almost every day. I go to sleep dreaming about waking up even just a year ago, or 5 or 10 or 15 years ago. It doesn't matter, I just don't want to be here, right now. Anyway, I'd probably predict major disasters, world events, elections, technological progress and get sent to a CIA black site and tortured for my psychic power. What if I took a Greyhound to Sandy Hook and talked to Adam Lanza years before anything happened? What if I stopped my dad from drinking himself into an early assisted living home? What if I stopped my only friend from getting into meth and dying last year? What if I got fit at 16 and convinced the only girl who talked to me to get married and we had 4 kids by now, living on a farm in Kentucky? What if I could talk to my grandpa about his life and memories of forgotten family members before Alzheimer's took him?

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>Lose weight
>Become a straight B student
>Invest time into discovering my talents and interests
>Profit

actually attend

probably not considering her husband is worth over 100 million dollars. money only commands the respect of losers

actually get something going with that tall amazon girl that was into me back then, and use my adult knowledge to groom her into becoming pure wife material and into loving the taste of my cum
I'd have a lot of time to waste since I wouldn't have to replay the same games too, so bitcoins is obvious, also making apps?
I'd be the one creating facebook and twitter, with that I'd be set out for life

be a better friend to one of my friends who had really declining mental health in high school who i still worry about to this day

>But user I'm already in 9th grade

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also their was this girl that a blew my chance with because of how socially inept i was then, so i would like to do better in that situation to.

Think about all the stuff I would do differently but probably not have the motivation to go through with any of it.

So clearly it worked on your mom since she married a millionaire?

Wouldn't having a bitcoin fortune just make it easier to do something since you could use the money to advance your goals?

Also being crazy wealthy does "command respect". Most girls would literally worship you on their knees if you told them you were a multi-millionare, fuck I'd do it.

honestly?

FUCKING
NOTHING

i have no idea what the possible fuck i could have done differently

yet i am a 25 year old NEET

thing is: I got basically perfect grades in high school. i got the highest SAT and ACT scores in the whole school. i went to the top uni. i got a job, and i hated it so much it made me miserable so i quit. now i can't get seem to find any job, but i know for a fact i would have offed myself if i didn't quit

THIS, except... i knew about bitcoin when it was $12 (back then you had to mail a money order to get it) but i was broke as fuck. there was no way i could even afford it, and as a full time student nobody would give me a job

given that, i would just find the winning lottery numbers.

wear diapers and ask if some QT wants to be my mommy

> 14-15 years old

Its sad, but at the time it was already too late. To fix my life I need to go back to when I was at least 12.

>Quit WoW
if I have all my memories I don't have to go back. I also won't encourage my avoidant behavior
>Start doing things that I avoided out of fear of failure or embarassing myself (asking a girl out, lifting, etc)
>Actually do the schoolwork to keep up good habits
I stopped doing homework in 9th-10th grade (only did it at lunch). I developed bad habits as a result that nearly caused me to fail out of college. Was a very good student (was in a scholars program that made you take university courses early), but that didn't amount to much
>Study what I wanted in in college, rather than doing something to please my father or for a non-guaranteed job out of school
>go to a smaller university where you aren't a number.
>potentially go to community college first
saves money, doesn't look any different. the "university experience" is just a good way to meet some people that you probably won't befriend and blow $20k you didn't need to
>ask women out
>apply to internships or ask for research opportunities
probably the one that will haunt me the most
>invest in x
>eat healthier so I'm not fat the majority of my life

9th grade man. I still remember it, kinda fondly, but kinda sadly, because it was somewhat of a pivotal point. The bad part is that going to that school wasn't a good idea but, at the same, I could still turn things around. The thing is that everytime I tried to change something for the best, I only dug deeper the hole I tripped myself into.
If I had the chance to go back, and retain, at least, most of my memories, the most important ones. I would.

>Try to achieve better grades and transfer to another school.
What I did actually was staying there, but transferred to a different class. You see, where I live the education system is different than, say, North America or Japan, as there is no Middle and High School, just High School, and it's 5-6 years depending the institute. Some schools cover everything, from kindergarter to highschool. Some are just HS during daytime, and a community college or tertiary college at night. I'm digressing, sorry.
Transferring to that class on that next year, was for the worse, I started to hang out with a slacker, he was a chill dude, but wasn't a good influence, my grades were getting worse. I tried to befriend him, but it didn't work. Next year I slowly distanced from him, my grades got a bit better, and he had to repeat that grade on the next year. I just couldn't make a single friend for the remainder of HS.

>After HS, I definitely will sign up for that college that I now I know that is was much better than the crappy UNI I attended.

The worst started to happening after HS. I failed pretty hard on college, I wish I knew that there were better alternatives for my career choice.

never make that mistake of cheating on her
or
actually *try* to kill myself and succeed

both work, actually. yeah, both

>slept more and ate more
>never injure my shoulder and probably fuck it for life
Oh god I hope we discover time travel one day
>tried harder and focused more in my classes
>don't skip so many classes
>don't get into drugs and alcohol
>don't hang around the wrong people
>grow some balls and take those chances with the girls and especially my oneitis

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I need time travel too, user. When I was 11, I thought if I studied math and science really hard, I'd invent a time machine someday. Then I dropped out of algebra and well, the rest is history.

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Losing her virginity at 13 to a dude in his mid-20s, though the way she tells it there was nothing super weird or remotely traumatic about it.

I also have a suspicion something happened to her after getting irresponsibly drunk when she first went off to uni at 17.

i wouldn't change anything user, because everything that has happened in my life has modelled me into the person I am today

Id hate to go back but I'd try to get on Adderal sooner, if I had the state of mind that I have now I probably would've been a better football player and overall person. The only downside to going back is the fact that I'd subject a much younger version of me to the bleak feels I have now. Back then I actually believed I would be something special, not an ape that lacks a sense of self importance.

Actually go to school instead of staying home, and as a result my life doesn't spiral into total disaster and I don't get sent to a mental hospital by the court and then a group home all stemming from my truancy

Also, when you ask for J's number near the end of the year don't immediately ruin everything by going maximum overcringe and oh god I'm not even going to think about this anymore fuckfuckfuckfcuniggersniggersniggerslolololoolololoooloolooopenispenis

Get treatment for ADHD get treatment for ADHD

Take a knife and gouge my mother's eyes out and slice her clitoris out and stab her to death and just go to jail. It would be worth it.

shit I dunno, not much I guess, a few tweaks here, spend less and save more.

Fap for the first time and then never do it again.

1st stop being a faggot first and foremost

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>Stop being a dumbass
>Take school seriously but not serious enough to get into an ivy or anything where I'd actually be a dumbass among peers
>Get job as soon as you can
>Dump paychecks into stock such as Amazon, Apple, Google, etc
>Workout, find a way to start boxing/muay thai/bjj asap (this one is more of a personal thing, I wish I started earlier)
>The girls thing should take care of itself

>actually fucking pay attention
>buy bit coin
>stop my grandma from getting murdered on my birthday
>don't fuck up the relationship with the girl I loved
that's about it

Actually fucking try and socialize a fuck ton more and go on dates and shit. Probably wouldn't move to my dad's after hs. Probably would have not gone to college. Mainly I would make sure I didn't waste so much mother fucking time of the prime of my youth sitting in my room alone watching anime.

>all my christmas and birthday savings into stocks and bitcoin
>learn guitar sooner
>ask out crush from middle school in 10th grade when we have class together again
>if rejected try and ask some of the other desperate teens to be my gf in a game to take as many virginities as possible
>get Jow Forums sooner
Alas, after imagining how great my life could be if I had my formative years back, I know have to submit this post and come back to reality of my failing existence.

>browse boards other than /b/
>push my dad to buy a ps3 when he was considering it
>spend more time on hobbies while i can
>get my license right away and convince my dad not to sell our old family car so i could drive it
>put effort into my appearance instead of dressing like a slob
>try harder with my oneitis initially, don't dwell on her if things don't work out a second time and date other girls
>become an avgn wannabe and ride the early youtube wave
>show up to school more often and actually apply to some colleges

Fuck, it doesn't even matter.

9th grade? Does that mean I get transported to America? If so I'd get hold of a gun and shoot myself

>you wake up on first day of year 9
are you fucking kidding me op, my life was already over at that point

Off myself on the spot. Not going through that shit again.

i see the self hating ameriboos are waking up

>Dump all of the Hydrocodone pills in my closet
Half of my problems in high school were from those pills. Basically wasted half of my freshman and all of my sophomore year getting addicted to opiates.
>Don't sell my stuff to buy more drugs
>Don't jump off a roof because your shitty friends say you wouldn't do it and end up fucking your ankle up when you do
>Hang out with the few good friends I had back then rather then becoming a total shut-in
>Ask girls out, and the one guy I later found out was gay and had a bit of a crush on me back then
>Put some effort into my appearance and health
>Don't smoke cigarettes or hang out at the gas station
>never click on this website, and join Facebook when it was getting popular instead

so much OP

>get a part-time job for early work experience
>actually study for exams and complete my assignments
>talk to classmates and teachers with confidence
>join clubs and play badminton with my friends
>get my license early, a car too
>cut vidya usage down since I'd have played it all before anyway
>spend as much time outside of the house as possible
>get my dad to quit smoking and stop my mom from divorcing him
>buy decent clothes and fit them well, no more off-the-rack department store crap
>look after my hair and brush my teeth
>eat well and sleep 8 hours a day

EVERYTHING.
I stop eating so much and work out every day.
I stop hanging out with garbage fucking people who only use me and put me down.
I get a fucking job and start hoarding money for the future.
Spend more time on my school work and actually joining clubs, gettinh out there.
Not being such a fucking pawn for shitty people.

>implying you could control yourself
>implying you wouldn't want to hang out on [insert year] Jow Forums again

Those are all adults.
...I guess it is kind of funny when you put it like that

get on roaccutane asap and quit the vidya

I think about this often

>sell snacks out of my backpack every day
>save the money
>invest it wisely

It would be that simple

Get out of school council. Do most things about the same in school though, I don't have too many regrets there in terms of friends and such. Crush most of my work easily since I'm working with three years of secondary education. Don't put up with my mom's shit, but try to reconcile with her. Take my dad's advice. Mentally and emotionally torture my step dad, just fuck him over in general. Save my dog from dying. Get training in IT. Never go to university. Move in with a friend of mine as roommates, save and earn a fuckload of cash together. Live alone for the rest of my life, hanging out with friends. Never get involved with women. Get into politics later in life, become the next leader of my country.
Save the nation.

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Cry and beg my mom to home school me. Buy proper facial cosmetics. Eat more fruits and veggies. Get better sleep. Organize my porn folder better.

Never even attempt to go to college, to reform, to go to therapy and instead divert resources to entrepreneurial endeavors and build up money that way as early as possible.
Invest into bitcoin when it explodes and jump before it crashes, I guess investing into amazon and apple would also be good ideas.
If it's 9th grade I try asking out that girl I had a crush on even though she was basically the focal point of the social circles of the school, and if I get rejected I just deal with it.

It might be a horrible idea, but I should give the girl who obsessed over me in high school a chance, even though she was insane and liked me for seemingly no reason, it'd at least be good experience and possibly a way to lose my virginity at worst.
I'd also want to start working out outside of swimming to prepare for later, and I'd honestly consider trapping around when I was younger if I knew what I knew now, though extreme stuff with hrt is still something I don't think I'd consider even if I could have done it early.
Still, taking care of my skin, eating right, using the right products and exercising properly could have done a lot for me, even as I am now guys seem to like me.
Also, I'd totally disengage from school even more than I had, it was a waste of my time.

save all my money

Bingo.
>I would do so much!!!
Yeah right, you're the same shitter you've always been. Face the harsh truth of your lives, you fags.

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I'd tell my online lover that he needs to come see me or it's over. He needs to meet up with me now. And not stand me up ever again.

immediately start talking to some cute 5th graders.

august 2009 then

i dont remember if i had any money back then, but i'd try and buy bitcoin as soon as possible.

i'd get my learners permit asap.
i'd get a summer job summer of 2010 and put all that money into bitcoin. after that, i'm set for life for sure

so my personal life? i was too scared to fugg my first gf so i'd fix that.
sophomore year i had many opportunities for girlies that i let slip on by, especially chelsey, who i should ask to a dance.

i'd start making youtube videos back then too. i had the skills for sure.

9th grade is too late, the specific moment that I became a robot was in 7th grade
I also managed to finally find some good friends at the very end of 9th, and if I went in to that year any different I might have never even found them and would just make my life even worse at the current age of 21

>stop dressing like a fucking pleb
>join a sport and fix my godawful diet before I gave myself mantits
>stop being total pussy and actually go hang out with people outside of school
>learn to drive
>enrich myself by investing and betting on shit, prepare move out of my parents house the second I turn 18

and most importantly

>cease browsing Jow Forums entirely