When I talk to someone I worry about what I should say, if I react appropriately, when I say something I worry what their reaction is going to be. I want to please everyone and I am afraid someone might think negatively about me. I will think about situations for days or years afterwards and repeat it over and over again in my head. Basically it puts me into a freeze both in the moment and as a whole.
No, would it help or is it another self help scam?
I am exactly in the same situation. Just posted a similar post lol. I think we were supposed to be born as women. Im not gay tho.
I have, and I'll say it's one of the few self help books out there that isn't total bullshit boomer nonsense
what its about in nutshell?
i plan on reading it myself, I like to actually go outside, interact with people and apply the knowledge, thats the only way to get better.
na you all are just beta males, nothing wrong with that except youre the type of beta that is scared of people and conflict
Its very sad hearing that, but its unfortunately true. Idk how to live with being a beta and not feel like shit. Everything i do i worry if its manly enough or not.
>i do i worry if its manly enough or not. define manly
ear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain
Tldr pour corrosive chemicals all over your arm and get your imaginary gay friend to kiss it better
>Tldr pour corrosive chemicals all over your arm and get your imaginary gay friend to kiss it better Is this from fight club?
Not giving a fuck, working on a thing and trying to master it, not be emotional as me or atleast be able to hide it, having a "just do it" mentality and not brain storm every single thing and pussy out, not be nice to everyone you meet (in the process not getting any friends because you were too passive), be less afriad of investing time and/or emotions into a certain thing. I dont really think i can define it that well, but what i can tell you is that manly is anything other than me. For instance if i was manly i wouldnt even write this reply at all. Maybe reply with a stupid "kill yourself lol" or something like that.
seems like you're not discovering your own masculinity but rather living by what others think masculinity is. You're becoming caricature and not wholesome person.
Sounds like some sort of scarcity mindset is all. You dont have that natural confidence in yourself to just handle shit kinda like most women. Good thing is you can fix this through self improvement (no memeing) and get some of that natural confidence aka swagger or what i like to call, the "who gives a shit" attitude
it's not as good as it's made out to be on the internet. There are some interesting points though. Half of it is just feelgood crap. you're better off reading a summery
To add to that. What i mean by a "who gives a shit" attitude is... Look up And Warhol. Dude was kinda weird, introverted and some even thought he was gay but he still had that natural self confidence without being all macho.
You do not stop thinking You simply do and hope it works out The alternative is complete stagnation
Any Warhol wasn't gay?!
You should tweet this
He might've been. Who really knows
Improve myself eh. Dunno if i can do that. Thanks for the insight though. Never thought of it that way.
>How do you stop worrying? You don't, if you're sane. All this "live in the moment :)) dont worry about the past or future ^^" bullshit is dumb, since foresight is what separates us from fish. >When I talk to someone I worry about what I should say, if I react appropriately, when I say something I worry what their reaction is going to be. Here's a neat little trick that helped me with this. Do you remember the times you fucked up and spilled your spaghetti in a social gathering? Of course you do. Do you remember the times others made similar mistakes? Chances are, unless someone did something extreme, you don't. Nobody cares about anyone but themselves. When you blurt out "y-you too" to a girl, i guarantee she will forget it in five minutes and go back to check whether her makeup is okay. >I want to please everyone Good luck with that. There will always be someone who dislikes you and you won't be able to change it. Deal with it by finding people who like you. > I will think about situations for days or years afterwards and repeat it over and over again in my head. Haha yeah. This is totally me. Like in my previous point, balance the bad with the good. When life is smooth sailing, this shit won't cross your mind.
>How do I stop this? In case you wanted a tl;dr, you're in luck. Your main course of action is to attain some good experiences as reference points. It's normal to be worried when you're taking with someone new for the first time. The 50th time, you won't be. It's going to suck at first, believe me, but it's either enduring the hard succ for a while and then reaching your goals, or laying in bed and punching your bed from the pain of your memories.